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Below are the rules of Pacers Digest. After you have read them, you will have a very good sense of where we are coming from, what we expect, what we don't want to see, and how we react to things.

Rule #1

Pacers Digest is intended to be a place to discuss basketball without having to deal with the kinds of behaviors or attitudes that distract people from sticking with the discussion of the topics at hand. These unwanted distractions can come in many forms, and admittedly it can sometimes be tricky to pin down each and every kind that can rear its ugly head, but we feel that the following examples and explanations cover at least a good portion of that ground and should at least give people a pretty good idea of the kinds of things we actively discourage:

"Anyone who __________ is a liar / a fool / an idiot / a blind homer / has their head buried in the sand / a blind hater / doesn't know basketball / doesn't watch the games"

"People with intelligence will agree with me when I say that __________"

"Only stupid people think / believe / do ___________"

"I can't wait to hear something from PosterX when he/she sees that **insert a given incident or current event that will have probably upset or disappointed PosterX here**"

"He/she is just delusional"

"This thread is stupid / worthless / embarrassing"

"I'm going to take a moment to point and / laugh at PosterX / GroupOfPeopleY who thought / believed *insert though/belief here*"

"Remember when PosterX said OldCommentY that no longer looks good? "

In general, if a comment goes from purely on topic to something 'ad hominem' (personal jabs, personal shots, attacks, flames, however you want to call it, towards a person, or a group of people, or a given city/state/country of people), those are most likely going to be found intolerable.

We also dissuade passive aggressive behavior. This can be various things, but common examples include statements that are basically meant to imply someone is either stupid or otherwise incapable of holding a rational conversation. This can include (but is not limited to) laughing at someone's conclusions rather than offering an honest rebuttal, asking people what game they were watching, or another common problem is Poster X will say "that player isn't that bad" and then Poster Y will say something akin to "LOL you think that player is good". We're not going to tolerate those kinds of comments out of respect for the community at large and for the sake of trying to just have an honest conversation.

Now, does the above cover absolutely every single kind of distraction that is unwanted? Probably not, but you should by now have a good idea of the general types of things we will be discouraging. The above examples are meant to give you a good feel for / idea of what we're looking for. If something new or different than the above happens to come along and results in the same problem (that being, any other attitude or behavior that ultimately distracts from actually just discussing the topic at hand, or that is otherwise disrespectful to other posters), we can and we will take action to curb this as well, so please don't take this to mean that if you managed to technically avoid saying something exactly like one of the above examples that you are then somehow off the hook.

That all having been said, our goal is to do so in a generally kind and respectful way, and that doesn't mean the moment we see something we don't like that somebody is going to be suspended or banned, either. It just means that at the very least we will probably say something about it, quite possibly snipping out the distracting parts of the post in question while leaving alone the parts that are actually just discussing the topics, and in the event of a repeating or excessive problem, then we will start issuing infractions to try to further discourage further repeat problems, and if it just never seems to improve, then finally suspensions or bans will come into play. We would prefer it never went that far, and most of the time for most of our posters, it won't ever have to.

A slip up every once and a while is pretty normal, but, again, when it becomes repetitive or excessive, something will be done. Something occasional is probably going to be let go (within reason), but when it starts to become habitual or otherwise a pattern, odds are very good that we will step in.

There's always a small minority that like to push people's buttons and/or test their own boundaries with regards to the administrators, and in the case of someone acting like that, please be aware that this is not a court of law, but a private website run by people who are simply trying to do the right thing as they see it. If we feel that you are a special case that needs to be dealt with in an exceptional way because your behavior isn't explicitly mirroring one of our above examples of what we generally discourage, we can and we will take atypical action to prevent this from continuing if you are not cooperative with us.

Also please be aware that you will not be given a pass simply by claiming that you were 'only joking,' because quite honestly, when someone really is just joking, for one thing most people tend to pick up on the joke, including the person or group that is the target of the joke, and for another thing, in the event where an honest joke gets taken seriously and it upsets or angers someone, the person who is truly 'only joking' will quite commonly go out of his / her way to apologize and will try to mend fences. People who are dishonest about their statements being 'jokes' do not do so, and in turn that becomes a clear sign of what is really going on. It's nothing new.

In any case, quite frankly, the overall quality and health of the entire forum's community is more important than any one troublesome user will ever be, regardless of exactly how a problem is exhibiting itself, and if it comes down to us having to make a choice between you versus the greater health and happiness of the entire community, the community of this forum will win every time.

Lastly, there are also some posters, who are generally great contributors and do not otherwise cause any problems, who sometimes feel it's their place to provoke or to otherwise 'mess with' that small minority of people described in the last paragraph, and while we possibly might understand why you might feel you WANT to do something like that, the truth is we can't actually tolerate that kind of behavior from you any more than we can tolerate the behavior from them. So if we feel that you are trying to provoke those other posters into doing or saying something that will get themselves into trouble, then we will start to view you as a problem as well, because of the same reason as before: The overall health of the forum comes first, and trying to stir the pot with someone like that doesn't help, it just makes it worse. Some will simply disagree with this philosophy, but if so, then so be it because ultimately we have to do what we think is best so long as it's up to us.

If you see a problem that we haven't addressed, the best and most appropriate course for a forum member to take here is to look over to the left of the post in question. See underneath that poster's name, avatar, and other info, down where there's a little triangle with an exclamation point (!) in it? Click that. That allows you to report the post to the admins so we can definitely notice it and give it a look to see what we feel we should do about it. Beyond that, obviously it's human nature sometimes to want to speak up to the poster in question who has bothered you, but we would ask that you try to refrain from doing so because quite often what happens is two or more posters all start going back and forth about the original offending post, and suddenly the entire thread is off topic or otherwise derailed. So while the urge to police it yourself is understandable, it's best to just report it to us and let us handle it. Thank you!

All of the above is going to be subject to a case by case basis, but generally and broadly speaking, this should give everyone a pretty good idea of how things will typically / most often be handled.

Rule #2

If the actions of an administrator inspire you to make a comment, criticism, or express a concern about it, there is a wrong place and a couple of right places to do so.

The wrong place is to do so in the original thread in which the administrator took action. For example, if a post gets an infraction, or a post gets deleted, or a comment within a larger post gets clipped out, in a thread discussing Paul George, the wrong thing to do is to distract from the discussion of Paul George by adding your off topic thoughts on what the administrator did.

The right places to do so are:

A) Start a thread about the specific incident you want to talk about on the Feedback board. This way you are able to express yourself in an area that doesn't throw another thread off topic, and this way others can add their two cents as well if they wish, and additionally if there's something that needs to be said by the administrators, that is where they will respond to it.

B) Send a private message to the administrators, and they can respond to you that way.

If this is done the wrong way, those comments will be deleted, and if it's a repeating problem then it may also receive an infraction as well.

Rule #3

If a poster is bothering you, and an administrator has not or will not deal with that poster to the extent that you would prefer, you have a powerful tool at your disposal, one that has recently been upgraded and is now better than ever: The ability to ignore a user.

When you ignore a user, you will unfortunately still see some hints of their existence (nothing we can do about that), however, it does the following key things:

A) Any post they make will be completely invisible as you scroll through a thread.

B) The new addition to this feature: If someone QUOTES a user you are ignoring, you do not have to read who it was, or what that poster said, unless you go out of your way to click on a link to find out who it is and what they said.

To utilize this feature, from any page on Pacers Digest, scroll to the top of the page, look to the top right where it says 'Settings' and click that. From the settings page, look to the left side of the page where it says 'My Settings', and look down from there until you see 'Edit Ignore List' and click that. From here, it will say 'Add a Member to Your List...' Beneath that, click in the text box to the right of 'User Name', type in or copy & paste the username of the poster you are ignoring, and once their name is in the box, look over to the far right and click the 'Okay' button. All done!

Rule #4

Regarding infractions, currently they carry a value of one point each, and that point will expire in 31 days. If at any point a poster is carrying three points at the same time, that poster will be suspended until the oldest of the three points expires.

Rule #5

When you share or paste content or articles from another website, you must include the URL/link back to where you found it, who wrote it, and what website it's from. Said content will be removed if this doesn't happen.

An example:

If I copy and paste an article from the Indianapolis Star website, I would post something like this:

http://www.linktothearticlegoeshere.com/article
Title of the Article
Author's Name
Indianapolis Star

Rule #6

We cannot tolerate illegal videos on Pacers Digest. This means do not share any links to them, do not mention any websites that host them or link to them, do not describe how to find them in any way, and do not ask about them. Posts doing anything of the sort will be removed, the offenders will be contacted privately, and if the problem becomes habitual, you will be suspended, and if it still persists, you will probably be banned.

The legal means of watching or listening to NBA games are NBA League Pass Broadband (for US, or for International; both cost money) and NBA Audio League Pass (which is free). Look for them on NBA.com.

Rule #7

Provocative statements in a signature, or as an avatar, or as the 'tagline' beneath a poster's username (where it says 'Member' or 'Administrator' by default, if it is not altered) are an unwanted distraction that will more than likely be removed on sight. There can be shades of gray to this, but in general this could be something political or religious that is likely going to provoke or upset people, or otherwise something that is mean-spirited at the expense of a poster, a group of people, or a population.

It may or may not go without saying, but this goes for threads and posts as well, particularly when it's not made on the off-topic board (Market Square).

We do make exceptions if we feel the content is both innocuous and unlikely to cause social problems on the forum (such as wishing someone a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter), and we also also make exceptions if such topics come up with regards to a sports figure (such as the Lance Stephenson situation bringing up discussions of domestic abuse and the law, or when Jason Collins came out as gay and how that lead to some discussion about gay rights).

However, once the discussion seems to be more/mostly about the political issues instead of the sports figure or his specific situation, the thread is usually closed.

Rule #8

We prefer self-restraint and/or modesty when making jokes or off topic comments in a sports discussion thread. They can be fun, but sometimes they derail or distract from a topic, and we don't want to see that happen. If we feel it is a problem, we will either delete or move those posts from the thread.

Rule #9

Generally speaking, we try to be a "PG-13" rated board, and we don't want to see sexual content or similarly suggestive content. Vulgarity is a more muddled issue, though again we prefer things to lean more towards "PG-13" than "R". If we feel things have gone too far, we will step in.

Rule #10

We like small signatures, not big signatures. The bigger the signature, the more likely it is an annoying or distracting signature.

Rule #11

Do not advertise anything without talking about it with the administrators first. This includes advertising with your signature, with your avatar, through private messaging, and/or by making a thread or post.
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Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

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  • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

    Originally posted by BPump33 View Post
    Hey now, I was in a fraternity.
    If they saw you now Pump, you'd have been blackballed. :-)

    Comment


    • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

      Can we all dress up as fratboys for Saturday night's game?

      Comment


      • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

        Originally posted by ndcoltsnpacers View Post
        Can we all dress up as fratboys for Saturday night's game?
        ......How exactly do Fratboys dress?

        Comment


        • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

          Originally posted by Day-V View Post
          ......How exactly do Fratboys dress?
          Greek letters and the same color shirt.
          You know how hippos are made out to be sweet and silly, like big cows, but are actually extremely dangerous and can kill you with stunning brutality? The Pacers are the NBA's hippos....Matt Moore CBS Sports....

          Comment


          • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

            Originally posted by Day-V View Post
            ......How exactly do Fratboys dress?
            I was gonna ask you. I think sweater vests?

            I went and googled it and found this:

            For being a frat boy these are a must
            1. Sperry topsider boat shoes
            2. A ralph lauren polo
            3. Some solid colored golf shorts
            4. Gelled hair
            I think you have to pop the collar too.

            Comment


            • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

              Originally posted by ndcoltsnpacers View Post
              I was gonna ask you. I think sweater vests?

              I went and googled it and found this:



              I think you have to pop the collar too.
              So, we essentially dress up like the Mean Street Posse of late-90's WWF Lore?


              Let's do it!

              Comment


              • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                Originally posted by Day-V View Post
                So, we essentially dress up like the Mean Street Posse of late-90's WWF Lore?


                Let's do it!
                Yes, exactly the look I had in mind.

                Comment


                • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                  Lambda Theta Roy!

                  Comment


                  • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                    Originally posted by Day-V View Post
                    ......How exactly do Fratboys dress?
                    The fact that we have to ask that question is why we are not "frat boys"

                    BTW, I don't think the Mean Street Posse looks like frat boys. I was checking out their pics on Google. This is the most normal one I could find:

                    http://tinyurl.com/7sgd7t8

                    Comment


                    • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                      Correct me if I am wrong but I just had a vision. Paul George runs the fast break throws down a sick jam. Area 55 chants. "Make em say UHHHHHH UHHHHH na-na na-na, na-na na-na, Make em say UHHHH UHHHH"
                      What do you guys think. That could even be Pauls version of basketball jones for freethrows.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                        Our man Roy is an All-star! Congrats Roy!!

                        Comment


                        • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                          Late in the game on Tuesday night, the front row of Area 55 started chanting "Hey now, your an all star....."

                          I think we need to modify and adapt that a little for tomorrow night.... "Hey now, Roy's an all-star....."
                          "Nobody wants to play against Tyler Hansbrough NO BODY!" ~ Frank Vogel

                          "And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it. And it struck the Philistine on the head and he fell to the ground. Amen. "

                          Comment


                          • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                            Originally posted by Sandman21 View Post
                            Late in the game on Tuesday night, the front row of Area 55 started chanting "Hey now, your an all star....."

                            I think we need to modify and adapt that a little for tomorrow night.... "Hey now, Roy's an all-star....."
                            I talked to Kyle about something similar Tuesday, but we never got a chance to use it. We thought modifying our usual "Hib-Hib HOO-ROY!," to "Hib-Hib ALL-STAR!" would be a good way to go. Now we have a legit reason to use it, at least through the next 3 weeks or so.

                            -Josh

                            Comment


                            • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                              AREA 55 NEWS YOU CAN TAKE TO THE BANK!!!

                              Greetings, O Suffering Ones!

                              Tonight, our Pacers return to BLF greatly in need of a win. Last night, they lost to Memphis 98-92. It was their second setback in a row – the first time they’ve let that happen this year. No, it’s not yet time to panic. Our recent losses are largely the product of self-inflicted wounds.

                              The Memphis loss featured the Pacers going only 26-37 from the foul stripe. The loss before that - a 97-87 spanking from Atlanta - was largely due to a horrendous start that had the Pacers 18 down at halftime. While the Pacers managed to cut that deficit to just 8 points in our typically good 3rd quarter, they were never able to get any closer than 7 points the rest of the way. The Hawks treated the game as a must win and eventually pulled away.

                              Losing on the road to Atlanta and Memphis isn’t all that shameful. Both are good teams with good players. Both traditionally give the Pacers a very hard time and present us with big match up problems. Also, both Atlanta and Memphis went deeply into their playoff runs last year.

                              While these recent losses now put the Pacers at 17-9 for the season, 4.5 games behind Chicago in the Central and 5th in the NBA, there is still reason for optimism. After we get past our next two tough home games – tonight against Denver and Tuesday night against Miami – our boys will enter a 7-game stretch that has us playing very beatable teams: Charlotte and New Orleans each twice, and single encounters with Cleveland, New Jersey, and Golden State. Things will only get serious again for us when we face a home-court rematch with the Bulls on March 5th.

                              Tonight’s game isn’t going to be easy. True, our foes have lost their last 5 games – Denver’s worst losing streak in 7 years. But they will find the Pacers a tad dispirited from their recent road losses, struggling a bit both offensively and defensively, and undoubtedly tired after having to play a back-to-back.

                              Still, Denver has to be weary too. They’re on a stretch of 6 games in 8 days. Also, the Nuggets aren’t healthy, Danilo Gallinari’s out for a month with a severe ankle injury. Timofey Mozgov has a bad ankle and reportedly won't play tonight. Nenê has been playing poorly all season and right now he's icing down a sore left heel. Arron Afflalo’s generally been awful this year (although, ominously, he went off for 26 in Denver's last loss at Golden State) and is supposedly nursing both a bad ankle and a sore toe. With all the injuries, Nuggets’ coach, George Karl, has been juggling his starting lineup, but without much success.

                              After a brilliant start to their season, due to their recent 0-5 stretch ,Denver has now dropped from the West’s upper echelons to a shaky 7th place. The Nuggets see tonight’s game as pivotal to their fortunes.

                              "We need to do whatever we got to do to get a victory.” – Arron Afflalo

                              When teams deny that they've become desperate, that usually means they are.

                              PTO Doings! If you’ve been trying to get to a PTO of late without success, join the club. Last week, the Nameless Parking Lot Across From Arby’s, the normal venue for PTO’s festivities, was off limits. When I arrived for the pre-Utah festivities, grizzled workmen were there, still busy tearing down a Super Bowl awning and no one could get in. PTO revelers were consequently left scratching their heads wondering where the hell to park, drink, and opine. Hopefully, with the awning gone, tonight's 5:00 P.M. conclave will be different. Therefore, I’m tentatively directing PTO members again to Old Nameless and am hoping for the best. I haven’t been able to check with PTO President Aaron "Brickyard" Coleman on whether there are any planned festivities. His cohort, convicted felon Casey O’Brien, has been AWOL too, reportedly recuperating from another venereal disease. Get well Casey! We miss ya!

                              Dealing with Attrition in Area 55! If you’re an Area 55 Member and can’t make it to a game, it’s your responsibility to fob your ticket off on someone equally wild, weird, and vocal. Don’t just not show up. It leaves gaps in 101 and causes us problems.

                              Further, if you’ve found that death or other real life demands force you to drop out of Area 55, don’t just quit coming. Let your Prez know and I’ll pass the word of your demise on to the Suits.

                              Kudos to Rookie Area 55 Member, Matt Werner, for handling his recent resignation from Area 55 in the proper manner. Matt found that nightly work meetings in connection with his government job conflicted with his attending Pacers home games. He notified me about his reluctant decision to withdraw. Consequently, we have a vacancy in Area 55 that Alan Mowrey and the Suits will be looking to fill.

                              We’ll miss you, Matt and thanks again for leaving Area 55 in the correct way.

                              FUN FACTS ABOUT DENVER!

                              How the Nuggets Got Their Name! Denver’s basketball team started out initially in Kansas City, when KC was awarded an initial franchise in 1967. However, the team couldn’t find an arena that would have them in Missouri and a decision was made to relocate to Denver. There they were initially christened the Denver “Larks”. Luckily, ownership of the team changed hands before the season started. The “Larks” name was then jettisoned in favor of the “Rockets” in homage to owner Bill Ringsby’s business -- “Ringsby Rocket Trucking System.” Under the “Rockets” moniker, Denver became one of the ABA’s more successful teams. Anticipating a merger with the NBA in 1976, and in order to distinguish Denver from the Houston Rockets, a contest was staged to come up with a new name. The “Nuggets” name was selected, as it was the name used by another NBA team that played in Denver from 1938 to 1950.

                              The Nuggets’ original logo was a Yosemite Sam sort of miner dancing around after supposedly "discovering" an ABA ball. Voila!

                              http://tinyurl.com/85fkwsg

                              The Worst Defensive Team Ever! The 1991-1992 Denver Nuggets were mindboggling. Offensively, they were astoundingly prolific. They average 119.9 points per game and had 8 players that averaged in double figures. So why did that team finish with a pathetic 20-62 record? Because they were the worst defensive team of all time!

                              Just how bad were they?

                              They gave up 130.8 points per game! You read that right: Per game. Just think about that for a minute!. Can you imagine putting up almost 120 points every night and still losing by an average of 11 a game? Denver managed it.

                              By the way, that 130.8 PPG is, indeed, the most allowed by any team in NBA history. And while it's true that NBA team scoring averages were higher in '91 than they are today, the Nuggets still allowed 24.5 PPG more than the then 106 PPG league average.

                              But wait! There's more. As a team, the 1991-1992 Denver bunch shot 44.0 percent from the field -- worst in the NBA that season -- while allowing their opponents to shoot 51.2 percent, another league-worst.

                              What's even more absurd is that the 1991-1992 Nuggets never, not even once, held an opponent tounder 100 points. In fact, they held an opponent under 110 points only four times.! Worse, they allowed 9 teams to score more than 150 points against them.

                              Bad Tat! Who has the worst tattoo in the NBA? Well, that’s a matter of taste, I suppose.. However, arguably it’s engraved on the body of former Nuggets standout, Carmelo Anthony. Carmelo’s choice for a lifelong memory? The Warner Brothers logo.

                              http://tinyurl.com/7d5pn6d

                              Does Carmelo like the Warner Bros. studios work product so much that he felt the need to emblazon their logo on his body? Nope.

                              Supposedly Carmelo’s “WB” stands for “West Baltimore”.

                              Mozgov’s Militia! Area 55’s cheap imitators are everywhere. Loyal Denver fans of their center, Russian Timofey Mozgov, have recently been promoting “Mozgov’s Militia” in hopes of ginning up support for their foreign idol. Their most recent feat has been to issue a blue and white T-Shirt with a clever logo to endear themselves to their idol and make him less homesick. Wanna see? Here ya go!

                              http://tinyurl.com/6nqv6lb

                              Nenê? Who Is That Guy? Brazilian born Denver power forward, Nenê (pronounced “Nuh-nay” to you types that don’t speak Portuguese), was actually born Maybyner Rodney Hilario. He goes by “Nenê” which means “Baby” in that tongue. He got that sobriquet because he was the youngest kid in his family and among his group of childhood friends.

                              Maybyner liked his nickname so much that in 2003 he flew to Brazil, completed some paperwork, and had his name legally changed to “Nenê”.

                              This year, as a free agent, Nenê signed at 5-year $67 Million contract with the Nuggets. Since inking his deal, he’s been something of a disappointment to Denver’s fans. He’s averaging only 13.5 points per game and 7.9 rebounds. He didn’t make the All Star Team.

                              Well, that’s it, fun-seekers. Duty calls. We gotta bring it again tonight; turn back Denver, and go in with a win when we face Miami on Tuesday.

                              GO PACERS! GO AREA 55!
                              Last edited by IndyHoya; 02-11-2012, 01:32 PM.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Area 55 Season Thread 2011-2012

                                AREA 55 NEWS YOU CAN TAKE TO THE BANK!!!

                                Valentine’s Day, 55ers! Time to give your concubine a very special valentine! And, let’s hope that our Pacers give us a valentine too – a big win tonight against probably the most hated team in the NBA -- those crab-dribbling, Decision-making, slam-dunking hoopsters from South Beach, the Miami Heat.

                                True, our Pacers have been reeling of late, but tonight, for a change, our boys will be rested. We’re also likely to be very, very ready for Miami. See, if you give Frank Vogel a couple of days to prepare for a game, the result will have him looking at so much opposition film footage that, come game time, those resultant dark circles under his eyes will make him easily mistaken for a raccoon. I don’t know what Frank’s got in store for the Heat, but my guess is he’s going to come up with something. It’ll be opportune, too. Miami is likely to have its pants down just a little bit after pasting us so easily down there. Also, tonight will be the third of a triple back-to-back-to-back for the Heat. That generally wears on big guys. Fatigue didn’t bother the Heat much last night though. They polished off the Bucks in summary fashion 114-96, revenging two earlier losses to our antlered friends from Wisconsin in the process.

                                LeBron “King” James claims the Heat are playing their best ball of the year. He might be right. The Heat are 22-7, winners of their last 3, and presently have the second-best record in the NBA. They’re only a half-game back of Chicago.

                                Dealing with the Heat means containing their troika: LeBron, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh. Last night, LeBron had 35, going 16-21. Wade had 22. Bosh only chipped in 8, but Mike Miller and Mario Chalmers each were 3-4 from trey-land. Dealing with the Unholy Trinity, while simultaneously finding a way to contain their less famous understudies, is really a coaching nightmare. Accordingly, seeing what Frank comes up with tonight ought to be interesting.

                                I have a good feeling about tonight. The Pacers usually bring their A-Games when they’re an underdog. We’re a lot better than Milwaukee too, who previously managed to drop the Heat twice. We can definitely win this game if all our cylinders are clicking.

                                FUN FACTS ABOUT LEBRON!!!!

                                The Decision!!!! LeBron James is probably the most vilified player in the NBA because of “The Decision”. It worked out this way. LeBron James used his first appearance on NBA TV's "Arena Link" to make quite a statement:

                                "I got a goal, and it's a huge goal, and that's to bring an NBA championship here to Cleveland," James said. "And I won't stop until I get it."

                                LeBron’s statement was really newsworthy for both its boldness and its timing. If you parse the grammar and look up all the words in your Merriam-Webster, it seemed to imply that LeBron, although about to become a free-agent, would stay in Cleveland at least as long as it took him to bring that miserable city an NBA championship. Cleveland fans were elated and breathed sighs of relief. Their love for their Akron-born hero welled-out in paeans of praise. Children sent him cards of gratitude, local women offered him their bodies, and the Cleveland city fathers and restaurant owners did a lot of cartwheeling and street dancing.

                                But, like many things in life, it was simply not to be.

                                Rumors started flying that LeBron was talking to Miami GM Pat Riley; that he was also flirting with New York; that he was going to “make a decision” and announce it to the world.

                                Cleveland team owners panicked and started a frantic round of meetings with his agent (who also happened to represent Chris Bosh). More money was thrown on LeBron’s table. Pundits began extolling the virtues of team loyalty and offering brash young LeBron much needed sage and mature advice:

                                http://tinyurl.com/87f5vec

                                LeBron, however, was unmoved.

                                You know the rest. The triangle of love that is LeBron, Wade, and Bosh happened, and soon the promised NBA championship for lowly Cleveland went the way of the dodo. LeBron bought himself a $9 Million mansion overlooking Biscayne Bay and then went shopping for white sports jackets a la Don Johnson.

                                LeBron made “The Decision” and embattled Cleveland lost. The laments from Cleveland -- forgotten, downtrodden, rust-bucket Cleveland -- were poignant:

                                Cleveland’s owner, Dan Gilbert, cursed LeBron, and penned this now-famous letter to the Cleveland fans:

                                Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight;

                                As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

                                This was announced with a several-day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

                                Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

                                The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

                                There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

                                You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

                                You have given so much and deserve so much more.
                                In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight: "I personally guarantee that the Cleveland Cavaliers will win an NBA Championship before the self-titled former 'king' wins one."

                                You can take it to the bank.

                                If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

                                Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.
                                Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

                                This shocking act of disloyalty from our homegrown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow up to become.

                                But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio. The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

                                Just watch.

                                Sleep well, Cleveland. Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day...

                                I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only: DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue.

                                Dan Gilbert
                                Majority Owner
                                Cleveland Cavaliers


                                For his part, LeBron started predicting and promising things again, only this time to Miami:

                                http://tinyurl.com/45svzak

                                Lighten Up! Listen to a LeBron Joke! To assuage their bitterness at LeBron’s departure, some Cleveland fans turned to humor. A bevy of Cavalier websites continue to contain sidebars featuring “LeBron Jokes”. Laughter, I’m told, is a typical human coping mechanism when one’s life turns nasty. Anyway, here’s a sampling of some the less dirty ones I liked. Note: Cleveland fans also seem to still be quite bitter about LeBron’s epic 4th Quarter playoff fails when he was still there with the Cavs:

                                How do you know you've found LeBron James' cell phone?
                                It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!

                                What do you call three superstars who decide to play together for the Miami Heat?
                                The Three Me-Egos.

                                What did LeBron James have for his last breakfast in the city of Cleveland?
                                Eggs Benedict Arnold!

                                Scientists discovered a new atomic particle this week, which, due to its instability, vanishes within 12 minutes.
                                They call it the LeBron Particle.

                                That’s Not Traveling! It’s a Crab Dribble! On taking his act to Miami, LeBron began wowing fans with a move never seen before in basketball. The move – calculated by its inventor to revolutionize the game -- was christened “The Crab Dribble” – something that combined the footwork of Fred Astaire with the decisive sidesteps of those friendly crustaceans that populate the sandy environs of the Miami beachfront.

                                LeBron unveiled it on the Washington Wizards. There it was – The Crab Dribble! So beautiful! So artful! It was hard to describe: A quick step-and-a-half, followed by a firm plant of the pivot foot, followed by two or three deftly delivered ballet-toed, left-right-left-right demi-pointes and then a final ejaculatory soar to the rim for le flush.

                                Sadly, NBA refereeing was not up to LeBron’s innovation and “The Crab Dribble” was disallowed. Storms of controversy followed. They still rage:

                                Never seen LeBron’s “Crab Dribble” ? Well, here you go!

                                http://tinyurl.com/7y6cvnc

                                Sigh. Dribbles. Purists and referees be damned. I say eliminate dribbling altogether and let LeBron be LeBron!

                                Area 55ers, keep your eyes open tonight. Maybe, if you're really good, LeBron will bless you with another undreamed of and never before seen NBA move!

                                Young LeBron and Older LeBron! Hard Work Pays Off! There are some LeBron detractors (mostly with Cleveland addresses) that think LeBron, at some time in his life, popped steroids. No one has come up with any hard evidence for this slanderous rumor, but it’s out there. Here’s some of the “evidence” as gleaned from the observations of its Internet purveyors:

                                Here’s svelte young LeBron at age 16 – a precocious ectomorph:

                                http://tinyurl.com/2f8fd5r

                                Now here’s young LeBron at age 18, two years later and fresh out of high school, chiseled and endomorphic, and making his storied way in the NBA:

                                http://tinyurl.com/72buovj

                                Steroids? Bah! I say it’s just evidence of a lot of hard work in the weight room between those grueling high school classes LeBron was taking!

                                The Tragedy of Male Pattern Baldness! In tandem with circulating the aforementioned slanders of youthful steroid use, LeBron’s detractors point, by way of “evidence,” to LeBron’s now craggy 48-year old looking visage and his receding hairline (which LeBron cloaks with strategic headband placement). These, say the rumormongers, are further indicia of verboten Roid usage.

                                To me, such innuendo is cheap and unfair to LeBron! Let’s examine the facts!

                                First, here’s a graphic history of LeBron’s Hairline: http://tinyurl.com/7rqos66

                                Here’s the Prognosis on LeBron’s Hairline Future: http://tinyurl.com/3gw6s28

                                LeBron, by the way, is very conscious of his hairline problem. Here’s a recent tweet from his Twitter account:

                                Had a dream my hairline was back! Woke up and went to bathroom, turned on light slowly. Same old story. Damn! Lol #wishfulthinking

                                If LeBron’s really concerned about his hair, he might wish to get a referral from Carlos Boozer, the NBA’s poster child for The Hair Club for Men.

                                If you’re a millionaire, you owe it to yourself to emulate Carlos and get a sharp, natural looking hairline:

                                Carlos Before: http://tinyurl.com/6m83ajo and

                                Carlos After: http://tinyurl.com/88nzfpr

                                Well, that’s it, 55ers! My job is biting my ***! But it’s been fun!

                                Be sure to give LeBron all kinds of hell tonight. He deserves it.

                                GO PACERS! GO AREA 55!

                                Indy Hoya
                                Last edited by IndyHoya; 02-14-2012, 01:19 PM.

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