Good to see this up here for the new people. This has to be post of the year.
Good to see this up here for the new people. This has to be post of the year.
Damn took me some time to read and understand that... funny tho!
That is the post of the year. Peck, I marvel that you can come up with something like that
You're caught up in the Internet / you think it's such a great asset / but you're wrong, wrong, wrong
All that fiber optic gear / still cannot take away the fear / like an island song
- Jimmy Buffett
No question - POST OF THE YEAR.
The best exercise of the human heart is reaching down and picking someone else up.
I'll second that motion! He is the straw that stirs Pacer's Digest. This place wouldn't be the same without him.
But this place wouldn't be the same without you either UncleBuck!
And it goes without saying that Hicks and Able are important to this place.
You big four are what make this place what it is!
I can't believe I missed this, I always read Peck. Hmmm, just so I won't have to explain myself here, let me put it this way. I always read Peck on the basketball forum. (grin)
that post makes me miss JO7 a little.
I too believe Peck is the forum MVP. Which reminds me that this weekend I need to organize the 2005 PD Forum Awards.....
definitely. though i do think UB deserves it as well
Don't ask Marvin Harrison what he did during the bye week. "Batman never told where the Bat Cave is," he explained.
Still fun reading it again
2012 PD ABA Fantasy Keeper League Champion, sports.ws
2011 PD ABA Fantasy Keeper League Champion, sports.ws
2006 PD ABA Fantasy League runner up, sports.ws
Thank you Peck. That's as enjoyable reading as one can find. Instant positive karma for the old AND the new guys!
The best exercise of the human heart is reaching down and picking someone else up.
Classic, worth every cent of the admission price
Don't forget me man RoboDoug, he's a MVP too
Ya Think Ya Used Enough Dynamite there Butch...
That was great! I missed it last year, so thanks for posting it again.
I wasn't here last year so it was the first time i've seen it. I must say that my great-grandchildren will probably be studying that in their college literature class. I have no idea how you can up with. Melville, Dickinson, Poe, Peck?
Yeah, I missed that last year, but that is absolutely brilliant!
BLUE COLLAR GOLD SWAGGER
Wow. Nice job, Peck.
OK, Peck, here is the straightened-up version we talked about.
A Digest Carol
Little Hicks sat in his corner so close to the little fire that he surely would rub his hands raw from trying to absorb the warmth. For his employer would not allow him to place any additional coal or wood on the fire because that would be taking an offensive stance toward the matter. His employer demanded that all things must be done defensively, so young Hicks could warm himself and not spend a penny more on luxuries of coal or wood.
"HICKS!" shouted his employer, "I don't pay you to sit there wasting time daydreaming by the fire! Get back to work and I'll not hear one word from you until you have completed printing every single TruWarrior T-Shirt."
"Yes sir." replied Hicks.
Knowing that tomorrow was Christmas he did not want to raise the ire of his employer so that he would be able to get his full day off and maybe even some form of bonus. Young Hicks went back to diligently stitching each shirt by hand.
A knock at the front door was heard.
"Well don't just sit there get the door." yelled Hicks' employer.
"Yes sir." replied Hicks.
While wrapping himself in a gold-colored comforter that had a large :thepacers on one end, young Hicks slowly made his way towards the door without hesitation, but with full knowledge that a cold chill accompanied opening that frigid door.
Another knock and Hicks was opening the door.
In the doorway stood the cheery face of Jay@section204 with his wife.
"Come in, come in before you catch your death of cold!" Hicks cheerfully said to Jay.
Jay & his wife swiftly walked into the small shop and brushed the snow away from each other, laughing in the goodness of the day.
"Is your master in?" asked Jay.
"But of course he is," said Hicks, "however I fear you will find him in poor humor these days."
"Nonsense." Jay replied, "I come about today to invite him to Christmas lunch and to enjoy the merry tidings of the season and to watch the Pacers play on Christmas day."
"BAH HUMBUG!" a deep voice said.
The room grew colder, even though the door was shut, and a dark shadow was cast over the gathering of people. For there standing in the stairway looking down upon the group was Hicks' employer.
He was wearing an official #15 Ron Artest jersey from the Chicago Bulls, he had on Jordan Nikes and had a #8 Bryant gold wristband.
It was Unclebuck.
"Uncle, come with us to lunch upon the morrow and we will feast. Then we will retreat to watch the Pacers play the Pistons and we will watch the glorious return of Jermaine O'Neal." Jay said.
"A hum bug upon O'Neal and a hum bug upon the Pacers." U.B. stated.
"A hum bug upon the Pacers?" questioned Jay.
"Yes, A hum bug." said U.B.
"You keep the Pacers in your way and let me keep it in my own way." said U.B.
"But you scarcely keep them at all anymore." Jay said sadly.
"Then let me leave it alone then." responded U.B.
"What reason do you have to dislike the Pacers, you've spent enough money over the years on them?" asked Jay
"What reason do you have to like the Pacers, you've scarcely bought ten games a year for several seasons now?" responded U.B. sourly.
"I will keep my Christmas cheer about me and wish you the merriest of holidays and will hold hope that you will join us for lunch and the game tomorrow." said a smiling Jay.
"Bah Humbug!" said U.B. under his breath as he turned and went towards the staircase.
Without a further word a smiling Jay and wife turned towards young Hicks and gladly wished the seasons greeting upon him. In turn young Hicks warmly returned their wishes, even though he was cold of body he still was flowing with the promise of the day and the joy that is Pacers pride. With that Jay and Hicks each said "Merry Christmas" followed by a rousing "Boom Baby!"
Old U.B.'s blood was steaming.
"Not another word out of you, young Hicks, lest you find yourself without your situation." said U.B.
"Yes sir." replied Hicks has he shuffled back to his stitching.
As Jay and wife walked out the door a good natured big fellow walked in.
"Is this the business of 'all things defense' with the owners of Uncle Buck & FireTheCoach?" asked the man.
"I've spent a good deal of money on a sign to advertise that very fact." said U.B.
Smiling widely the man said, "My name is Big Mac and I've come from the Pacers foundation. Do I have the pleasure of speaking to Mr. Buck or Mr. Coach?"
"FireTheCoach has been dead for these past 7 months. Actually, he died seven months ago this very night." said U.B.
"Well, I'm sure the liberalism and goodness in nature of FireTheCoach will be represented by his partner." replied Big Mac.
Snickering U.B. said, "Yes FTC and myself were kindred spirits."
"Good good then." said Big Mac, "We are collecting for the poor and underprivileged of Indianapolis so that they may go to the Reggie Miller youth camp this summer. Reggie will be teaching the young to shoot threes and how to drive the lane."
"Will there be no fronting the post taught?" asked U.B.
"Will there be no education of how to send two guards back to stop the break?" further queried U.B.
"Yes, yes I'm certain these skills will be taught, but Reggie will be focusing on complete fundamentals of the game." said Big Mac
"How much can I put you down for?" asked Big Mac.
"Nothing." replied U.B.
"You wish to remain anonomous then?" asked Big Mac.
"I wish to be left alone." said U.B. "I don't make merry at the holidays anymore and if someone wishes to learn basketball skills they should go to the TruWarier program in NYC to learn the trade."
With that Big mac turned and left the business.
"I suppose you will be wanting the whole day off tomorrow?" asked U.B. sourly to Hicks.
"If it's not too much trouble, sir." he sheepishly replied.
"Yes, it is troublesome. What reason is it to celebrate the robbing of a man every December 25, if I paid you $1.00 less you would feel yourself ill used." said U.B. "You be back in here all the earlier the next day."
"Yes, sir." said Hicks who then wrapped himself up in his comforter and placed on his Pacers gloves and ran out the door.
'Humbug.' thought U.B.
Unclebuck closed up the shop and he removed the one little lump of coal from the fire that he allowed Hicks to burn. He rubbed off the used pieces and placed it to the side, proud of the fact that he could use the coal again come Monday.
U.B. gathered himself up and wrapped himself in his new red jacket that had a emblem on it. He placed his new hat on that had a :mavericks logo on it and headed out the door.
On his way home he stopped by the local dank restraunt so that he could eat his stew and read SLAM magazine. After reading all the articles, skipping any referance to the Pacers, he slowly made his way home.
As he approached his house, the wind was stirring almost to the point of a howl being in the air. As he wrestled with his keys in the dim light, his eyes betrayed him. For there on his door knocker appeared a face. A face that was in pain and anguish. He could not make out the face, but he recognized the painful look on the face. Then it was gone.
'Bah Humbug.' thought U.B. as he slowly opened his door.
The night progressed and U.B. sat down to enjoy a cup of soup before going off to bed. He sat in his corner chair that faced the fire place sipping at his soup and watching the fire.
Then a sound began. Clanking of chains and a moan filled the air.
U.B. sat stunned.
'No.' he thought to himself, 'This is just in my mind.'
Then the fire blew out with a whoosh. The smoke began to envelop the room and U.B. began to cough. As he was rising to his feet he stopped, stared and then fell deep into his chair. For there standing before him in the room.
"Who are you spirit?" asked U.B.
"Ask me who I was." stated the spirit.
"Who were you then?" asked U.B., stating, "You are awfully particular for a ghost."
"In life I was your partner." replied the spirit.
"FTC, is that you?" asked U.B.
"Yes." replied the spirit.
"Why do you wear such a burden, and why are you here haunting me?" asked U.B.
"These chains are the excuses I formed in life." replied FTC. "I made them link-by-link every time Ron Artest did something bad but I excused it because he was such a good player."
"Do you not beleive in me?" said FTC, seeing that U.B. had an uncaring look upon his face.
"The mind and senses can be fooled." said U.B., suddenly feeling smart about himself. "A piece of cheese; an undigested potato. Why there is more gravy than grave to you, I fear."
With that FTC let out a loud ear-piercing howl.
Visibly shaken U.B. states, "Why do you haunt me my old friend?"
"I am here to warn you."? said FTC. "These links I wear I forged in life and now I am cursed to walk the earth. Never resting, never sleeping, the chain you bear is seven times longer than my own. I am here to warn you to change your ways, or you will be cursed to the same fate I am."
"But you were a good man of the defensive business!" cried U.B.
"Offense was my business, rebounding was my business, fundamental basketball was all part of my business, but I didn't learn this 'til it was too late."
With that a hand appeared from the fire place and pulled on FTC's chain.
"Quick; I have no more time." said FTC. "You will be visited by three more spirits before this night is over. I pray that the lessons they teach will not be lost on you."
With a puff of smoke he was gone.
U.B. ran to his room, threw off his clothes, put on his new p.j.'s with the logo on it and pulled the covers over his head.
He was shaking so that he fell fastly to sleep.
The gentle tolling on the clock bells rang, quarter past the hour, half past the hour, quarter till the hour then the hour itself.
U.B. sat up in bed and looked around the room. Nothing came.
"Whew. It was all a bad dream." thought U.B. And with that he laid back down turned to his side. He closed his eyes but felt a lump behind him in the bed. He rolled over to remove the out of place pillow when he came face to face with a spirit wearing a Pacers basketball cap, a Roger Brown jersey, and nothing more .
U.B. jumped from the bed and shouted, "Who are you?!"
"I am the ghost of Pacers past." said the spirit.
"The far past?" asked U.B.
"Your past." replied the spirit.
"Take me where you will, spirit, for I am tired." said U.B.
"Grab my jersey, then." said the spirit.
U.B. looking oddly at him as he realized that the spirit was only covered by an oversized jersey.
"Call me ABADays." said the spirit, even though you are too young to remember them yourself.
As he takes hold of his jersey, U.B. feels his body lift from the floor and through his roof.
Oddly, in the air U.B. heard the sounds of Jerry Baker, Bob Lamy and Mark Boyle calling out play-by-play from years' past.
The snow grew heavy to the point where U.B. could not see, then poof, he was in a warm room.
It was his old house. He saw himself sitting before a television as a very young child. On the T.V. were the Pacers and it looked like they were playing the Washington Bullets.
"Why have you brought me here, ABADays?" asked U.B. "What is there to benefit me here?"
"These are the memories of your past." stated ABADays. "These are the times that make a young man who he is in life."
"But these days sucked!" cried U.B. "Just look out there! That's Ricky Sobers and Johny Davis! My God that is James Edwards in the middle!"
"Yes, but remember, U.B., this is right after the merger." said ABADays. "The N.B.A. took a heavy toll on the team when they merged with the league, and even though they lacked talent you took pride as a young man in the way they played the game."
"Yes, it's true," said U.B. "but I hated the losing so bad."
"It got worse didn't it?" asked ABADays.
"Yes, sadly it did." said U.B.
With that a mist swirled about them and they were in another time.
"My God, is that George Irvin on the sidelines?" asked U.B.
"Yes, I'm afraid it is." said ABAdays. "The team suffered long and hard under the ownership of Sam Nassi, but a new ownership has taken over and a new spirit is in the air."
U.B. saw an older version of himself sitting in M.S.A. The seats were empty and the cutains in the upper deck were drawn closed.
Yet there he was, proudly watching as a young rookie named Chuck Person was taking it to the solid Milwaukee Bucks.
The young U.B. was talking to another fan after the game and said, "Man someday we will be as good as the Bucks are. I can see us winning fourty eight games some day and making the playoffs." The spirit of his youth spilled over.
A smoke enveloped U.B. and the spirit and again they are in another time.
U.B. found an older version of himself standing on his feet, jumping up and down cheering wildly.
"I don't ever recall cheering out loud at M.S.A." said U.B. to ABADays.
"Look closer at the floor." said ABADays.
Looking down on the floor U.B. saw Reggie Miller jumping in a circle with Dale Davis, Rik Smits, and Mark Jackson running to him. He saw Jordan and the rest of the Bulls going to their bench and he realized that he was at the game where Reggie hit the three with 1 second left on the clock.
A tear welled up in the eyes of U.B.
"What is it?" asked ABADays.
"Oh I only wish I could have said something to Jay@Section204 right now." said U.B., as he hid the tear.
He looked on his younger self. He could see the pride that he had from years of watching basketball played the right way.
Again smoke eveloped them and again they were gone.
This time they came back and he saw an older U.B. Not one with lines of age, but one in the prime of life. However, he could see that some of the joy was gone.
His younger self sat at a computer typing. He peeked over his shoulder and saw what he was typing.
"Spirit," said U.B., "take me away from here. I don't want to see anymore."
"What troubles you?" asked ABADays. "Could it be what you are typing?" With that, ABADays projected the words that the young U.B. was typing on the Pacers Digest forum.
Over and over again he kept typing the same thing. "Defense wins games, I don't care about statistics, Ron Artest is the perfect basketball player, I'm glad we got rid of Brad Miller because he wasn't worth the money."
"No, spirit." said U.B. "Don't make me see the next part."
With a wave of his hand, ABADays projected in big red letters on the wall the words that an older U.B. was typing.
"OK, I have waited as long as I can. You knew this was coming, I waited as long as I could, and I freely admit I should wait until Jax and J.O. come back to make this post. But I can't wait any longer. Pacers will not win a championship without Ron Artest. I believe that with all my mind, heart and soul."
With that, U.B. fell to the ground weeping, shouting, "Take me away!! Take me away!!"
ABADays, having grown smaller and older in a very short time said, "My time is almost up. There are still things to be learned on this night, and I pray you learn them."
Poof, U.B. was back in his bed. He fell asleep weeping.
Ding Dong, Ding Dong sounded the clanging of louder bells.
In the hallway U.B. could see a light and heard a loud sound of music playing in the air.
He made his way to the hallway and opened the door. When he gazed in the room he saw a shining gold light with blue sparkles coming off of it. There were Pacemates dancing and there was D.J. Paul B in the corner playing "Let's Go" by Trick Daddy.
"Are you the next spirit that ABADays spoke of?" asked U.B. in amazement, feeling like he was on Mars.
"Nah, Dawg, I'm just part of the posse. He's your man." said PB777 as he pointed to the corner of the room where a young kid sat in a corner with a yellow throwback O'Neal #7 jersey and a big yellow hat with a sideways crook.
"lol whatup dawg." said the spirit.
"Are you the spirit that ABADays warned me of?" asked U.B.
"word my brotha, im the ghost of pacers present!!!!!1111!!!! youcan call me JOneal7."
"Take me where you will then, I would profit from what you seek to teach me as I have already learned from ABADays."
"grab the rim bro!!1111!!!!! im bout to kick up sum dust, lol" said JOneal7.
U.B. hesitantly reached out & grabbed the brim of the spirits ballcap and hed on tight as it twisted backwards.
They flew up to the Castleton area. They landed at Briggsy's Pizza King.
Inside there was a party going on. Jay@Secton204 was there, along with his wife. Jose Slaughter was there and U.B. saw that he was studying everybody present. MagicRat was there, and U.B. saw what looked like a recording device under his shirt. RoamingGnome was there and was in good cheer. Tim was there, but was not in a good mood. He was wearing a #3 jersey. obnoxiousmodesty was arguing with Diamond Dave over which was better, DS9 or TNG. Doug was there and while nobody was looking he was eating more pizza.
There was joy and good tidings in the room.
At this time Jay stepped forward and offered a toast. "To Unclebuck, although he won't have good Pacers pride about himself anymore, I say Merry Christmas to him, and a long, happy life."
Jay's wife turned to him and said, "For all of the good a toast will do him."
Jay then said, "I will greet him every year and if he finds me in good humor than I say that he will be hard pressed to turn me away."
With that the party faded, but before it was gone, U.B. thought he saw the image of Suaveness walking into the room announcing some form of trade, but he couldn't hear what he said.
U.B. & JOneal7 flew through the air again, and they then found themselves barried in snow up past their butts in a small town called New Castle.
Here they came upon U.B.'s poor clerk, Hicks. He was watching reruns of "Firefly" and wishing that the new Serenity movie would be out.
JOneal7 took off his cap and sprinkled some dust on Hicks to which Hicks smiled.
"Is there some particular blessing in your dandruff?" asked U.B.
"straight up." said JOneal7.
At this point in time Shade entered the room on crutches.
"JOneal7, what is wrong with Shade?" asked U.B.
"sad dawg." said JOneal7. "he's got the fever in his bones. he went to a stuck fern rally and caught it there it's been eating away at him since. lol"
"Will he make it?" asked U.B.
"I see an empty chair at the next pacersdigest party if things don't change." said JOneal7, shaking his head.
They were back in the hallway of U.B.'s house now, and the Pacemates and PB777 were gone and only a dimly lit candle lit the room.
"JOneal7," said U.B. "I don't mean to speak out of place, but under your warmups I see two appendages that stick out from behind your legs. Are they claws?"
JOneal7 said, "they might as well be claws for all the good they will do." Then out from his warmups walked a boy and a girl, both drawn and disfigured.
JOneal7 stated, "the girl is the lottery and the boy is mediocrity but beware the boy the most for he is the downfall of franchises."
"Spirit, won't a good offense with solid fundamental save them?" asked U.B.
"Will there be no fronting the post taught?! Will there be no education of how to send two guards back to stop the break?!" yelled JOneal7 as he faded away.
Unclebuck was in a ball in the corner by the wall when a light brightly shined on him. The windows opened and a spirit appeared through the curtains.
He pointed a bony cold finger at U.B.
"You are the spirit I fear most of all." said U.B. from his fetal postion. "For you are the ghost of Pacers future."
The ghost shook his head and in doing so revealed that his face looked strangely like Jose Slaughter. 'Odd.' thought U.B.
"Take me where you will spirit." said U.B. "I have learned my lesson well this night and I would learn what you have to teach me."
U.B. took the spirit's cape and away they flew. West they flew. Far far west landing in the lights and strip of Las Vegas.
"Why have you taken me here?" asked U.B.
The spirit pointed behind him to a large arena on the edge of town with a marque that was just being lit up.
U.B. quickly averted his eyes. "No spirit. Please tell me what is on the sign, for I cannot bare to look." said U.B.
The spirit stood silently.
"Why must you torment me so?!" cried U.B.
Along the side of the road he saw two young men walking wearing Pacers jersies.
"Well, at the very least the team is closer to watch than in the old days." said one to the other.
"No, spirit. Please, please don't let this be!" cried U.B.
The spirit pointed to the marque.
The sign said: "The Los Angeles Lakers vs. The Las Vegas Pacers"
U.B. screamed with all of his might, and dropped to the ground to plead with the spirit. "No! I've learned my lesson! If the fans don't support the team they have, then they may have no team at all! Winning is only good if it is done with honor and no one player is above game! I've changed! I've changed!! I've changed!!!!!"
Ding ding ding ding went the clock.
U.B. opened his eyes. "I'm back. I've made it!"
He jumped out of bed, threw open a window, and saw a small boy.
"You, young fellow!" said U.B. "What day is it?
"Why, it's Christmas day!" said the boy.
"Then I haven't missed it! The spirits did all of their work in one night!!" yelled a joyous Unclebuck.
He threw off his p.j.'s and dug in his closet, found his Jamaal Tinsley #11 jersey, put on gold and blue warmups, threw on his Pacers jacket he had under the bed, and ran out the door.
He drove as fast as he could to Briggy's Pizza King in Castleton.
He opened the door and a silence came over the room. Jay@Section204 walked toward him.
"Jay." said U.B. "I want to come to the party. I want to watch the Pacers."
"Merry Christmas, Unclebuck! Merry Christmas to us all!" said Jay.
It was said that from that day forward, no man alive kept the spirit of Pacers pride as well as Unclebuck. He was as good a friend, neighbor, and employer as any man alive.
And to young Shade, who did not die, he became to him an older brother to care for him for the rest of his life.
P.S. My apologies to Charles Dickens.