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Thread: The Radical Approach to the Pacer Dilemma

  1. #1
    Member aamcguy's Avatar
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    Default The Radical Approach to the Pacer Dilemma

    Step 1: Before each half, hang a $100 dollar bill behind the Pacers' basket.

    As we know, our big man in the middle has become consumed with desire for the green. So the hope in doing this is for him to see the money, get excited, and be psychologically tricked into getting as close to it as he can. As long as the bill is hung in the right place, all Hibbert will have to do is literally let go of the ball to try and catch the bill and the ball will fall into the basket unhindered.

    We can't just hang it over both, because if you end up going up against a player like Javale McGee it may actually work to our disadvantage. And Javale may actually break a hand trying to get through the glass. Hibbert at least is held back by his inability to jump.

    Step 2: Mash the "square" or "X" button repeatedly.

    I know, I know. Not only is that a cheap way to play, but you may get in foul trouble. The flip side is that with PG's steal ability he shoudl be able to get a bunch of those nice tip backs that will lead directly to dunks.

    Step 3: You say the offense will come? No, let the ball come to the offense.

    Yeah, go ahead and give the Blue and Gold a few minutes to see if their offense is working that night. If it's not, and it probably isn't, switch to Pacer super-mega-offense 2.0. Like previous renditions of our offense this year, it will require at least one of Paul George or Gerald Green to be in the game. And, like our current smashmouth offense, this is more of a philosophy than an actual offense.

    Like all offensive philosophies should, it starts on defense. Instead of the typical 5 on 5 defense, you stick 3 frontcourt players around the hoop, diving in and out of the paint to avoid 3 second violations. Allow them to shoot anything outside of 15 feet unhindered, and just grab the rebound. At this point, you have 1 of 2 options. Option number one is to make the full court pass down to Green or George who has been patiently waiting for the ball right next to the opposing basket. They will get the ball and dunk it, or if the pass is perfect it'll be a highlight alley-oop.

    Option 2 is to pass the ball to either Lance, Augustin, or Hill who should be standing just beyond half court. This option is to improve accuracy for the ultimate scoring pass. I understand this pass will not always be there. If we find both of these options are covered, just run down the court and shoot the ball the first chance you appear to be looking to get almost open. Preferably this would happen within 10 seconds. As soon as the ball leaves the hands of the shooter, our 3 frontcourt defenders need to haul *** back to defense. We need to stop the transition offense.

    Step 4: Take vitamins.

    I heard they're supposed to be good for you or something.

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  3. #2
    Member Merz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Radical Approach to the Pacer Dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by aamcguy View Post
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    Step 4: Take vitamins.

    I heard they're supposed to be good for you or something.
    They are clearly NOT taking "those pills" that they were apparently taking last season.

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    Member Derek2k3's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Radical Approach to the Pacer Dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by aamcguy View Post
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    Step 1: Before each half, hang a $100 dollar bill behind the Pacers' basket.

    As we know, our big man in the middle has become consumed with desire for the green. So the hope in doing this is for him to see the money, get excited, and be psychologically tricked into getting as close to it as he can. As long as the bill is hung in the right place, all Hibbert will have to do is literally let go of the ball to try and catch the bill and the ball will fall into the basket unhindered.

    We can't just hang it over both, because if you end up going up against a player like Javale McGee it may actually work to our disadvantage. And Javale may actually break a hand trying to get through the glass. Hibbert at least is held back by his inability to jump.


    I heard they're supposed to be good for you or something.
    I lol'ed

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    Member aamcguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Radical Approach to the Pacer Dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by Derek2k3 View Post
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    I lol'ed
    I'm glad it helped somebody else too haha...I needed some time spent not thinking about their performance so critically

  6. #5

    Default Re: The Radical Approach to the Pacer Dilemma

    You have it all wrong, let me help you:

    1. 3 year plan
    2. smashmouth basketball
    3. blue collar, gold swagger
    4. profit

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    Default Re: The Radical Approach to the Pacer Dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by Merz View Post
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    They are clearly NOT taking "those pills" that they were apparently taking last season.
    That's because Danny is the manufacturer and supplier and he has been at home resting.

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    Member aamcguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Radical Approach to the Pacer Dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by naptownmenace View Post
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    That's because Danny is the manufacturer and supplier and he has been at home resting.
    That's weak sauce. His team is in need, I don't care if he has to hop on one leg to make it in!

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