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Thread: Selfish egotistical SOB

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    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Selfish egotistical SOB

    also one sick individual in need of help.

    One of my bro-in-laws shot himself today. Dead.


    3 Kids One just graduated college (and has a two week old baby)...one in college....and a son (the youngest) just graduated HS and is headed to college.

    Left no note explaining why....didn't tell his kids he loved them....didn't even say goodbye.


    *(*&^%%&#&%!!!!!
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  2. #2

    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    That sucks for everyone left over to go on. I experienced this through a friend whose father did it. Until you experience it in a personal way, I think that the natural reaction is to have sympathy for the obviously "not right" person who did himself in, but when you see the devastation and loss for the survivors first hand... well it is hard to not, on balance, feel angry more than anything, about him.

    Sorry for the kids, his wife, and all the rest of the family for this senseless loss. My prayers are with you all.
    Last edited by Slick Pinkham; 09-13-2010 at 03:26 PM.
    The poster "pacertom" since this forum began (and before!). I changed my name here to "Slick Pinkham" in honor of the imaginary player That Bobby "Slick" Leonard picked late in the 1971 ABA draft (true story!)

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    DIET COKE! Trader Joe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Your sister and her children are in my prayers Geez.

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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    My thoughts are with you and your family. Suicide is a horrendous thing to go through.

    But let's not be too quick to label him as selfish. While the act was selfish, only a troubled soul would committ such an act.

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  7. #5
    teY dennaB toN
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Wow. Sorry to hear about this buddy. That's absolutely horrible. Clearly something wasn't right. Hope you and your family are able stay strong and figure out why.

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    The New Gold Swagger travmil's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Geezer, you're family is in my thoughts and prayers.

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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Geezer, I am sorry to hear about your loss. Suicide is something that no one should ever have to experience. The emotional pain the sick person was feeling is tragically transferred to the innocent relatives and friends left behind. My father committed suicide in September of last year so I can certainly sympathize and understand what with you are going through.

    The emotions you are feeling and conveying here are natural ones that everyone expresses at the onset. But things will get better, trust me about that. You will survive as a unit and will probably find that those left behind become closer than they were before.
    Last edited by Sollozzo; 09-13-2010 at 12:09 PM.

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    Jimmy did what Jimmy did Bball's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Sounds like I'm a member of the same club as Adam.

    Things will get better.
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    Cheeseburger in Paradise Los Angeles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    I also lost one of my best friends to suicide. Had the "honor" of sharing his last meal with him. It took many years before I got over the fact that I didn't recognize the "signs" of what he was planning to do that night.

    Geezer, your family is in my prayers.
    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

    “If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.” - Catherine Aird

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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Stay strong, Geezer.

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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    My prayers go out to you all as well.

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    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    The funeral was yesterday and let me tell you, I learned something.

    One of the deceased's sister-in-laws had a letter from her brother to share with us. He is an archetech in NY and very well off, but suffers from Bi-Polar Disease (Manic Despresent) In his letter he described how tremendously sad you can become and how physically painful it is when it happens. He stated there was no warning for him it is just a sudden onset of massive sadness. He described his life as a chemistry set for those treating him and how staying in balance consumes half his time.

    In the end he stated that he had been near suicide several times and that the only thing stopping him has been that the saddness has yet to be greater than the fear of the unknown.

    I suppose Dave's saddness finally overcame that fear.

    In all other aspects he was a decent man...one with an illness I hope to never know.
    Last edited by indygeezer; 09-16-2010 at 11:30 AM.
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Quote Originally Posted by indygeezer View Post
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    In his letter he described how tremendously sad you can become and how physically painful it is when it happens. He stated there was no warning for him it is just a sudden onset of massive sadness. He described his life as a chemistry set for those treating him and how staying in balance consumes half his time.

    In the end he stated that he had been near suicide several times and that the only thing stopping him has been that the saddness has yet to be greater than the fear of the unknown.
    Yeah. Anger toward a loved one who's committed suicide is normal, and I understand why people call it selfish. But severe clinical depression is much more akin to a psychotic attack than it is a case of the downers. Every single atom of your body just explodes with excruciating pain and sadness.

    An analogy that I like to explain what you mention. Say a person with clinical depression = a person stuck on the top floor of a burning skyscraper. The depressive does not commit suicide because, as scared as they are, they still fear dying more than they fear the pain of the disease; the trapped person doesn't jump from the window because they still fear the fall more than they do the flames. . . There is a point where one's fear of the flames overcomes the fear of falling.

    Hope you and your family's staying strong, geez. I know this can really take a toll on those who loved the one who's gone.. ..
    You, Never? Did the Kenosha Kid?

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  25. #14
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    I don't understand. How is it physically painful? Do you mean like a bad headache, or something your whole body feels, or something else?

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    The New Gold Swagger travmil's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    I don't know all the details, but I know my employer does very well selling a medication specifically to treat depression related pain.

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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...pression-hurts

    In the hospital somatic pain was a pretty common symptom listed by people in my Group Therapy group (I hate saying that). It greatly varied from person to person though--no uniform manifestation really. It just feels like it messes with your nervous system, and you perceive great pain despite the absence of outside stimuli.
    You, Never? Did the Kenosha Kid?

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    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Thanks SIG, that is exactly what this lady's brother was saying. As soon as I get a copy I'll try to figure out how to post it.


    The pain/sadness overcomes the fear of the unknown is how he put it.


    EDIT: Question SIG....he had alcohol problems too (does that ease the pain for a bit?) But about two months ago he went cold turkey bone dry. WOuld that chemical imbalance deepen his depressive episodes? Should he have gone thru a 12 step program or something akin to that?
    Last edited by indygeezer; 09-16-2010 at 09:39 PM.
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Honestly I'm not sure. Alcoholism itself definitely worsens depression big-time, but I don't know much about alcohol withdrawal + depression. My whimpy tummy (GERD) has always kept me from any serious drinking.
    You, Never? Did the Kenosha Kid?

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    Go Colts! Shade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Quote Originally Posted by indygeezer View Post
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    also one sick individual in need of help.

    One of my bro-in-laws shot himself today. Dead.


    3 Kids One just graduated college (and has a two week old baby)...one in college....and a son (the youngest) just graduated HS and is headed to college.

    Left no note explaining why....didn't tell his kids he loved them....didn't even say goodbye.


    *(*&^%%&#&%!!!!!
    That really sucks, but it could have been worse. At least he didn't shoot anyone else, and it looks like all of his kids are at least old enough to not have to rely on him anymore.

    Still sucks, though. People just need to remember that things will get better at some point. And if things are that bad and seemingly irreparable, go someplace new and start over as best you can.

  31. #20
    Cheeseburger in Paradise Los Angeles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Quote Originally Posted by indygeezer View Post
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    EDIT: Question SIG....he had alcohol problems too (does that ease the pain for a bit?) But about two months ago he went cold turkey bone dry. WOuld that chemical imbalance deepen his depressive episodes? Should he have gone thru a 12 step program or something akin to that?
    I only know this information second-hand, so please understand that I'm not an expert.

    Yes, withdrawal from alcohol or other chemicals can definitely spike your depressive episodes. It's not just chemical, however. It's also about experiencing a dramatic change in your life. Moving to a new city, losing or changing your job, starting college, going through a divorce and any number of other major changes can send a mental illness into overdrive.

    In regards to the 12 step program, the real benefit there is being an active part of a community that you can open up to and who is keeping tabs on you. As long as you approach it with honesty, it will help tremendously. 12 step programs are not the only way to achieve this sense of safety and healing. One-on-one therapy and detox camps are two other methods for gaining the support one might need.
    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

    “If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.” - Catherine Aird

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    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    OK this is just nuts.

    I just found out that in 2008 my nephew loaned his car to a buddy. The buddy "bumped" (rearended) a car at a stoplight. THe car was driven by a lawyer. AAA Insurance offered the lawyer $7500 to settle the claim and the lawyer refused the settlement claiming he had been injured and has a lawsuit pending.
    Now here's where it gets strange. THe day after my Bro-in-law killed himself, the father of the boy that was driving...died.

    So now....who is the lawyer suing? THe 2 under 21 yr olds? The estates of the deceased fathers? The wives of the deceased fathers (Does it matter if my sister's name wasn't on the title?) I told my sis to tell the bum she was countersuing as a contributing cause to his suicide (half kidding).
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  33. #22
    Cheeseburger in Paradise Los Angeles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    He's only suing the insurance company. That's how this thing works. The families will not lose anything.
    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

    “If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.” - Catherine Aird

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  35. #23
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Quote Originally Posted by Los Angeles View Post
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    He's only suing the insurance company. That's how this thing works. The families will not lose anything.
    ????????????????

    I thought he COULD sue the individual. NO? That is fantastic news.
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  36. #24
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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Wait. You certainly CAN. But this guy knows it's a complete dead-end. This issue will be resolved between the insurers. Folks may have to testify and participate in other rear-end pains, but suing individuals that have insurance generally gets you nowhere. A Lawyer of all people will know this and go where the money is, trying to carve out as much of the coverage max as he can.

    I'm just telling you not to worry about it too much.
    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

    “If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.” - Catherine Aird

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    Default Re: Selfish egotistical SOB

    Thanks LA...she has found a document from State Farm ((the injured party's company) saying that they are filing a claim agains her husband and the father of the teenage drive as they have been unable to reach a settlement with AAA (my bro-in-laws company). She says her name appears on nothing, she has her own auto insurance (through another company) and her name does not appear on the car title.

    They were still legally married, tho living apart for the last 4 years. Does St. Farm then sue the estate...or do they realize they are suing both families that have just lost a father and the court won't be too sympathetic to them?
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

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