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    Default A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/201...son/index.html

    It has been a bruising two weeks for the girlfriends of a few high-profile athletes.
    On Monday Indiana Pacers rookie Lance Stephenson, 19, was arraigned on charges of felony assault, menacing and harassment in New York City for allegedly attacking the 21-year-old mother of his child. Prosecutors in the Brooklyn DA's office allege that Stephenson pushed his girlfriend Jasmine Williams down of flight of stairs at her Coney Island, N.Y., apartment building early Sunday morning. With the victim lying at the bottom of the stairs, Stephenson, according to a criminal complaint made public by the DA's office, then picked up her head and slammed it on the bottom step. Williams was later treated at an area hospital for head and back wounds.
    Four days earlier, Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez was arrested outside the team's family lounge at Citi Field and charged with assaulting Carlos Pena, the 53-year-old grandfather of his infant twins. According to published reports, Rodriguez had been verbally berating his girlfriend, Daian Pena, with f-bombs before Pena came to his daughter's defense and was assaulted. Pena was treated for injuries and he and his daughter were granted a protection order against Rodriguez.
    The publicity around the Rodriguez arrest overshadowed another domestic violence incident that occurred the same day and involved former Carolina Panthers linebacker Mark Fields. Authorities in Arizona arrested Fields for allegedly beating the mother of his 6-year-old daughter outside a child care facility in Goodyear. Witnesses told police that Fields, 37, grabbed his ex-girlfriend by the throat and choked her before throwing her to the ground and threatening to kill her. Fields faces felony charges of aggravated assault and interfering with an educational institution and a misdemeanor count of endangerment.
    It's pretty sobering to visualize a big muscular athlete knocking down a woman or pummeling a grandfather. Against the sheer violence involved in each of these cases, it's easy to overlook the fact that each of these incidents played out in front of plenty of witnesses. Typically, domestic violence is the kind of crime that goes on behind closed doors, where bullies carry out threats and violence without fear of being seen or caught.
    But athletes are less prone to fear consequences, especially when it comes to their off-the-field behavior. Fields confronted his ex-girlfriend outside a child care facility at 5 o'clock on a Monday afternoon. Rodriguez couldn't have picked a more public place to berate his girlfriend and strike her father than at a ballpark, never mind the fact that there were security guards on hand.
    Most of us would consider this behavior pretty brazen. Yet athletes who run afoul of the law are used to getting out of jams. Look at Stephenson. While starring at Abraham Lincoln High in Coney Island Stephenson and a teammate were arrested in October 2008 for allegedly sexually abusing a 17-year-old girl inside the school. At the time, Stephenson was being recruited by schools like North Carolina, Kansas, Memphis, USC and many others. He was on his way to becoming the all-time leading scorer in New York state history and leading his team to four consecutive New York City championships. He'd become such a big phenomenon that a courtside announcer had nicknamed him "Born Ready" and a reality web series about him was being planned under the same name.
    All of that was jeopardized by the felony sexual assault case pending against him. But here's where it pays for an abuser to be an athlete. After Stephenson pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of disorderly conduct, the University of Cincinnati offered him a scholarship. He became the Big East's Rookie of the Year in 2010 and was selected drafted by the Indiana Pacers in the second round of June's NBA Draft. It was as if the incident at his high school didn't matter.
    But these matters often come back to bite teams that sign players with a rap sheet. Now Pacers GM Larry Bird has to decide what to do. If Stephenson is convicted on felony assault charges for the incident last weekend, he'll face a minimum of seven years in prison. The team just signed him to a contract that reportedly guarantees him $700,000 this year and $800,000 next year. The only thing Bird has said so far is that the organization will send a clear message to the community that cannot be ignored.
    The only person who needs a clear message is Stephenson. He may have been born ready to play hoops, but the game is doing him no favors by enabling him to keep skirting responsibility for his actions. Until his case is resolved, the last place he should be is in an NBA uniform.

    The case against Rodriguez is a little different. The Mets signed him to a three-year, $37 million contract. The team is reportedly looking into whether they can void the contract on account that Rodriguez injured his pitching hand during the clubhouse incident. The team ought to consider voiding the contract based simply on the fact that an assault was committed on team property. Most employers wouldn't hesitate to dump an employee that displayed violent behavior in the workplace, particularly if he was arrested.
    Earlier this year, NBA Commissioner David Stern came down hard on Washington Wizard teammates Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton after the two were involved in a locker room dispute involving guns. No shots were fired. But both players pleaded guilty to possessing unlicensed firearms and Stern suspended them for 50 games on the grounds that it was "potentially dangerous" to other players and anybody else that might have been around.
    The length of the suspensions raised a lot of eyebrows. But these players had brought guns into the workplace. Moreover, Stern was reacting to the fact that there are simply too many pro players getting arrested on gun charges these days.
    Domestic violence is an equally pervasive problem. Yet teams and the leagues seem afraid to tackle it with the same degree of seriousness. During the offseason, Miami Dolphins lineman Phillip Merling was arrested after his pregnant girlfriend called 911 and begged for help while she was barricaded inside the couple's bathroom.
    The police report states: "Merling, knowing that Kristen Lennon is pregnant with their second child, did intentionally strike the victim on or about the face and head against her will causing redness and swelling. The victim also sustained a laceration to her lip."
    Merling, who has pleaded not guilty, is 6-foot-5 and weighs more than 300 pounds. He was jailed and charged with aggravated battery on a pregnant woman. Still, Dolphins GM Bill Parcells failed to suspend Merling. That prompted one writer to chide Parcells for having stated at his introductory news conference back in 2007 that he didn't want any "thugs and hoodlums" on his team. Yet when the Dolphins minicamp opened earlier this year, the player slated to replace Merling in the lineup was 6-7, 305-pound lineman Tony McDaniel, who had been arrested on domestic violence charges earlier in 2010 after his girlfriend called 911. As a college player at Tennessee, McDaniel was charged with felony aggravated assault after punching a man's face and breaking four bones, for which he later pleaded guilty to a lesser charge.
    I understand why the leagues are concerned about the number of players that carry guns. Wherever there's a gun there's a risk of danger. But the fist of pro athlete is also capable of being pretty lethal. If GMs aren't willing to suspend or dismiss players that abuse their wives or girlfriends, maybe it's time the leagues start cracking down. The situation has gotten beyond embarrassing.
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Lance and a teammate accosted this girl in high school? If true that puts a different spin on the "just a butt grabber" argument for me - do boys tag team butt grab? Hmmmm.
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Its not just athletes its anyone with a lot of $$$ and or fame.

    Yes its a double standard and its not fair but there's also a double standard when it comes to women and domestic violence. In most cases its the man being the abuser but in some its also the women like Earl Watson and his wife.

    We all know she's not going to jail...

    It goes both ways I'm afraid and until we hold all abusers accountable regardless of gender and status it will continue.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    I agree about the doubble standard its like when a woman claims rape, then they find out its an extortion plot, that athlete is then labeled and nothing happens to the flse accuser
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by 90'sNBARocked View Post
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    I agree about the doubble standard its like when a woman claims rape, then they find out its an extortion plot, that athlete is then labeled and nothing happens to the flse accuser
    A defamation lawsuit is one course of action they choose, but I agree once the damage is done in the public opinion it's done...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamation
    Last edited by focused444; 08-19-2010 at 03:59 PM.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by focused444 View Post
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    A defamation lawsuit is one course of action they choose, but I agree once the damage is done in the public opinion it's done...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamation
    Good point, and I understand that but

    Most wont go through that, and unfortunately are then labeled by the media and fans unfairly

    Its like if Lance is found not guilty in a court of law, he still will be associated and labeled as a woman beater
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by 90'sNBARocked View Post
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    Good point, and I understand that but

    Most wont go through that, and unfortunately are then labeled by the media and fans unfairly

    Its like if Lance is found not guilty in a court of law, he still will be associated and labeled as a woman beater
    Your right most don't go through that type of legal action. Oddly enough the last person in sports that I remember doing it was Roger Clemens, and well, no one believed him and he dropped his case I believe.

    It is Lance's responsibility to disassociate himself from that lifestyle. If one fears being labeled then one should do everything in their power to prevent it. There is always going to be a public opinion, which I'm glad we have to a degree. If I were an innocent man, but viewed as guilty by the court of public opinion, it would not bother me because I know the truth will prevail.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by 90'sNBARocked View Post
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    Good point, and I understand that but

    Most wont go through that, and unfortunately are then labeled by the media and fans unfairly

    Its like if Lance is found not guilty in a court of law, he still will be associated and labeled as a woman beater
    Do you really want to pursue this? Seriously?

    All of the grief that I took, and you actually started another thread about this?
    Last edited by Kstat; 08-19-2010 at 04:46 PM.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Malicious False rape cases are about 1-3% of the cases. And it's thought that only about 25% of rape cases are actually reported.

    I think the issue for women abusing men vs men abusing women is simple. With the average size man and woman..a man punching a woman may put her in the hospital, a woman punching a man may give him a bruise.

    unfortunatly, that ignores the psychological aspect of abuse. The control..the emotional damage. That can go both ways. But I think men are afraid to speak up about it..and I also think it's pretty small scale, (although I've personally seen it)

    But the bottom line is, a man can just do more damage.

    Women and Men also tend to abuse for different reasons. Which produces different psychological effects. (Not nearly as great for the man as for the woman.) Men abuse for control. (Notice the Lance story. Demanding to know where she was. Or in Stacey's story, where her boyfriend had to approve what she was wearing every day.) Women abuse from an emotional breakout. (aka, a woman finds out her husband is cheating..and hits him with a golf club. NOT OKAY.) Neither are good or right, but the control tends to have much greater emotional effects than the emotional reaction.

    (I'm not saying that women don't abuse for control, or men don't abuse because of an emotional reaction. That's just the huge tendency.)

    Regardless, both are obviously wrong, and rightfully illegal. But for many reasons, abuse towards women tends to be worse.

    Now this athlete thing. UGH. So many athletes get away with it. And it's disgusting, and probably shows our values as a society.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    90'sNBARocked, can I ask what percentage of these accusations you believe to have been not only untrue but maliciously so? I can believe that there's a few crazy women out there, but I suspect it is at the "fingers of one hand" level.
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by BillS View Post
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    90'sNBARocked, can I ask what percentage of these accusations you believe to have been not only untrue but maliciously so? I can believe that there's a few crazy women out there, but I suspect it is at the "fingers of one hand" level.
    Sure,

    Its not so much that I believe they are true or not true, I just think its not so cut and dry one way or the other

    The point I always made was if he admits to, or did, slam her head against a concrete step

    In my book hes done, and should be immediately kicked off the Pacers, and face prison time

    AS far as the "psychopathic, or aggressive women. To some degree it has to do with the type of women you have been around. In my experience there are a decent number of women who grew up in the inner, inner city and have that attitude (and to be fair it was developed so they wouldnt be raped, or beat up etc.) and also in the poorer rural communities

    As far as the middle class or upper middle class, probably not as much, but more than you and I think
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Should I do the super cool "in before the lock thing"

    /nervously bites nails

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter.

    Malicious False rape cases are about 1-3% of the cases. And it's thought that only about 25% of rape cases are actually reported.
    This is what really, really pisses me off when I hear men whine about double standards between men and women. Listening to some guys you'd think women never, ever tell the truth about rape or abuse, and yet we spend so much time discrediting women because we refuse to see the truth. We'd rather the woman was just fabricating everything, because we all know women lie.

    This actually goes to the core of why abused women rarely report it. They don't think anybody will believe them, and why wouldn't they believe that? The past few discussions on this forum have been a perfect example.
    Last edited by Kstat; 08-19-2010 at 05:56 PM.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    [QUOTE=Kstat;1053525]Pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter.

    I think that is a difficult statistic to properly agree with

    It doesn't take into account those , who were proven not guilty, but there were no charges filed for false accusations

    and also for those who were convicted, but didn't do it
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Unfortunately - and I am talking generally, not in the Lance case, so don't bring up the evidence/witnesses/whatever - the fact that 98% of the cases are NOT Malicious False doesn't invalidate the 2% that ARE. If you simply didn't bother to investigate and put the guy in jail, you'd be right 98% of the time but you'd do a very horrible wrong to the guy in 2% of the cases.

    That doesn't justify the whining that goes on, but it DOES mean that a real investigation and finding has to be made in every case. Sloppy may still net you a good percentage of being right just due to the statistics, but that doesn't help the guy in jail who really didn't do it.

    I think you'll find men being abused is underreported as well, not just due to belief issues but simply due to cultural "men don't get abused" issues. We think the percentage is very small, but of course we don't know for sure because they aren't reported - it's just a guess.

    The bottom line is that being indignant about the assumptions is a little over the top, because the alternative is pretty unlikely. On the other hand, being unlikely doesn't justify ignoring it, either.

    The justice system shouldn't work on a "let's go with the averages here" basis, it should treat everything on a case-by-case basis. The averages/trends/statistics are where an investigation should START, not finish.
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by BillS View Post
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    Unfortunately - and I am talking generally, not in the Lance case, so don't bring up the evidence/witnesses/whatever - the fact that 98% of the cases are NOT Malicious False doesn't invalidate the 2% that ARE.

    I think you'll find men being abused is underreported as well, not just due to belief issues but simply due to cultural "men don't get abused" issues. We think the percentage is very small, but of course we don't know for sure because they aren't reported - it's just a guess.
    You are %100 correct. Victimized men should not be overlooked.

    Therefore, I propose that for every 49 threads in this forum dedicated to violence against women, we have one dedicated to victimized men. We need to promote awareness.
    Last edited by Kstat; 08-19-2010 at 06:33 PM.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by Kstat View Post
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    threads in this forum dedicated to violence against women
    ...

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    I don't get it the reason for the quote.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    To tack on to the previous post...


    So many women who are being abused don't even realize it. They've been so domesticated by society, that they believe it's perfectly normal for a man to lose his temper and slap her around. Some are so mentally damaged that they even fault themselves. Even when loved ones beg them to press charges, most don't.

    This attitude among women of the victim blaming herself is not even uncommon. It's so far-fetched from a man's point of view, but it happens constantly.

    For someone to say that women are just as commonly abusive and as damaging in the home as men...you have no ****ing idea what you're talking about.
    Last edited by Kstat; 08-19-2010 at 07:04 PM.

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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by Kstat View Post
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    To tack on to the previous post...


    So many women who are being abused don't even realize it. They've been so domesticated by society, that they believe it's perfectly normal for a man to lose his temper and slap her around. Some are so mentally damaged that they even fault themselves. Even when loved ones beg them to press charges, most don't.

    This attitude among women of the victim blaming herself is not even uncommon. It's so far-fetched from a man's point of view, but it happens constantly.

    For someone to say that women are just as commonly abusive and as damaging in the home as men...you have no ****ing idea what you're talking about.


    kstat

    in all honesty I hate men that use the intimidation of violence to control women, and so much goes unreported

    I do man for real, I think of anyone touching my mom and I would literally want to take an iron and blood gen them to death.

    I will never forgive mike vick for his act. It killed me when he said "I know now its wrong"

    ok so were f'n idiots, you didnt know it was wrongwhen you were holding the poor dog under water till it died

    I think anyone convicted of fighting pit bulls, they should take the people who had the dogs, put them in a cage and make the fight until one person is close to death

    I hate abuse, I do

    I also think that mental abuse, which is very hard to define, can even be worse at times

    The worst thing is it is going on at the very second I am typing this, all over the world

    Maybe we could spin this into a positive, I am willing to start a drive here and we could all give 5 bucks to a charity that helps abused women
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    Default Re: A double standard when it comes to athletes and domestic violence

    Quote Originally Posted by 90'sNBARocked View Post
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    I do man for real, I think of anyone touching my mom and I would literally want to take an iron and blood gen them to death.

    lol that's a new one .. I bet a few posters are squirming about right now..

    I think you meant to say bludgeon.. heh but its all good, i needed a chuckle..



    In my opinion , there is alot more physical abuse by men on women .. than there are women physically abusing men.. that is a GIVEN.. at the very least statistically..

    Women on the other hand usually tend to not resort to physical violence , instead they tend to psychologically, mentally and verbally abuse ..

    Of COURSE physical abuse is something that should NOT be tolerated in our society PERIOD! .. and I have a hatred for those who do beat up on someone else and abuse them physically .. I cannot stand a man hitting a woman.. there is no excuse for it unless it was in self defense .. and even then there is a difference between shoving , or hitting a woman trying to physically harm or maim/kill you with an object such as a knife , gun or frying pan ..

    Let's face it abuse is abuse, no matter how you slice it ..

    I honestly hate seeing this discussion taking place on a Pacer's forum.. IMO it should be kept within the pertinant threads dealing with Lance untill he is either found guilty , or not guilty ..
    since this whole subject is stemming from the alleged incident ...

    Because it seems to me , that there are some forum members here , that this issue hits "close to home" , and it goes from one end of the spectrum to the other .. and there is no changing their feelings on the issue at hand , even without all the facts and the judicial process having taken place yet ..

    .
    That is NOT to blame these posters for their extreme feelings , but I really hate seeing it divide people on here, and cause tension/loathing between forum members...

    This just isn't the place for that IMO. ..


    .
    .

    I will say , contrary to popular belief .. in my own experiences , there really are some psycho women out there... Heck for the longest time , it seems that is all I seemed to attract ..

    I've seen it all ... from men abusing women verbally , to physically ...
    I've seen women lying, being very controlling , using their children to hurt their spouse ..

    It goes BOTH ways .. I REALLY hate seeing this turn into a men/woman bashing thing on here , as I feel it is beneath each and every one of us ...

    I LOVE WOMEN!!!



    I've seen a friend of mine go through it personally..
    The guy was a good dude , would NEVER, EVER lay a hand on a woman.. His psycho wife ..up and decided she was gonna take him to the cleaners, and try and mess up his life after he found her cheating on him with some guy she was meeting online off and on ..

    She come home late (5am) after leaving him home with their 2yr old child all night .. Needless to say , they got into it , and to avoid further escalation , he got all he could stuff in a bag and called me to see if I could pick him up ..
    I came and picked him up (since they only had 1 car and he wasn't gonna leave the mother of his child without a access to a car )

    And of course his wife was outside yelling like a lunatic , even yelling at me for picking him up ..

    So he came to my house literally in tears .. Sometime that next day , she apparantly beat the crap out of herself .. and called the cops.. saying he beat her up.

    Guess who got arrested?

    That's right my friend did ..


    He is damn lucky he had me as a witness and as an alibi , because if not he would have been falsely convicted ..

    Still ended up costing him alot of money , I mean alot to get out of it..
    And not a DAMN thing ever happened to his wife out of the situation ..

    Luckily they are divorced , and he has primary custody of the child .. So at least this story has a happy ending.. But at a great cost , both monetarily and mentally ..



    All I am saying , is that lunatics, abusers and psycho's come in all shapes, sizes , colors, and genders .. and that NONE of it should be tolerated ...




    As far as the Lance situation ,I am not gonna get all worked up and make assumptions nor judge him, untill he goes to trial , and however things play out... play out .....
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