Announcement

Collapse

The Rules of Pacers Digest

Hello everyone,

Whether your are a long standing forum member or whether you have just registered today, it's a good idea to read and review the rules below so that you have a very good idea of what to expect when you come to Pacers Digest.

A quick note to new members: Your posts will not immediately show up when you make them. An administrator has to approve at least your first post before the forum software will later upgrade your account to the status of a fully-registered member. This usually happens within a couple of hours or so after your post(s) is/are approved, so you may need to be a little patient at first.

Why do we do this? So that it's more difficult for spammers (be they human or robot) to post, and so users who are banned cannot immediately re-register and start dousing people with verbal flames.

Below are the rules of Pacers Digest. After you have read them, you will have a very good sense of where we are coming from, what we expect, what we don't want to see, and how we react to things.

Rule #1

Pacers Digest is intended to be a place to discuss basketball without having to deal with the kinds of behaviors or attitudes that distract people from sticking with the discussion of the topics at hand. These unwanted distractions can come in many forms, and admittedly it can sometimes be tricky to pin down each and every kind that can rear its ugly head, but we feel that the following examples and explanations cover at least a good portion of that ground and should at least give people a pretty good idea of the kinds of things we actively discourage:

"Anyone who __________ is a liar / a fool / an idiot / a blind homer / has their head buried in the sand / a blind hater / doesn't know basketball / doesn't watch the games"

"People with intelligence will agree with me when I say that __________"

"Only stupid people think / believe / do ___________"

"I can't wait to hear something from PosterX when he/she sees that **insert a given incident or current event that will have probably upset or disappointed PosterX here**"

"He/she is just delusional"

"This thread is stupid / worthless / embarrassing"

"I'm going to take a moment to point and / laugh at PosterX / GroupOfPeopleY who thought / believed *insert though/belief here*"

"Remember when PosterX said OldCommentY that no longer looks good? "

In general, if a comment goes from purely on topic to something 'ad hominem' (personal jabs, personal shots, attacks, flames, however you want to call it, towards a person, or a group of people, or a given city/state/country of people), those are most likely going to be found intolerable.

We also dissuade passive aggressive behavior. This can be various things, but common examples include statements that are basically meant to imply someone is either stupid or otherwise incapable of holding a rational conversation. This can include (but is not limited to) laughing at someone's conclusions rather than offering an honest rebuttal, asking people what game they were watching, or another common problem is Poster X will say "that player isn't that bad" and then Poster Y will say something akin to "LOL you think that player is good". We're not going to tolerate those kinds of comments out of respect for the community at large and for the sake of trying to just have an honest conversation.

Now, does the above cover absolutely every single kind of distraction that is unwanted? Probably not, but you should by now have a good idea of the general types of things we will be discouraging. The above examples are meant to give you a good feel for / idea of what we're looking for. If something new or different than the above happens to come along and results in the same problem (that being, any other attitude or behavior that ultimately distracts from actually just discussing the topic at hand, or that is otherwise disrespectful to other posters), we can and we will take action to curb this as well, so please don't take this to mean that if you managed to technically avoid saying something exactly like one of the above examples that you are then somehow off the hook.

That all having been said, our goal is to do so in a generally kind and respectful way, and that doesn't mean the moment we see something we don't like that somebody is going to be suspended or banned, either. It just means that at the very least we will probably say something about it, quite possibly snipping out the distracting parts of the post in question while leaving alone the parts that are actually just discussing the topics, and in the event of a repeating or excessive problem, then we will start issuing infractions to try to further discourage further repeat problems, and if it just never seems to improve, then finally suspensions or bans will come into play. We would prefer it never went that far, and most of the time for most of our posters, it won't ever have to.

A slip up every once and a while is pretty normal, but, again, when it becomes repetitive or excessive, something will be done. Something occasional is probably going to be let go (within reason), but when it starts to become habitual or otherwise a pattern, odds are very good that we will step in.

There's always a small minority that like to push people's buttons and/or test their own boundaries with regards to the administrators, and in the case of someone acting like that, please be aware that this is not a court of law, but a private website run by people who are simply trying to do the right thing as they see it. If we feel that you are a special case that needs to be dealt with in an exceptional way because your behavior isn't explicitly mirroring one of our above examples of what we generally discourage, we can and we will take atypical action to prevent this from continuing if you are not cooperative with us.

Also please be aware that you will not be given a pass simply by claiming that you were 'only joking,' because quite honestly, when someone really is just joking, for one thing most people tend to pick up on the joke, including the person or group that is the target of the joke, and for another thing, in the event where an honest joke gets taken seriously and it upsets or angers someone, the person who is truly 'only joking' will quite commonly go out of his / her way to apologize and will try to mend fences. People who are dishonest about their statements being 'jokes' do not do so, and in turn that becomes a clear sign of what is really going on. It's nothing new.

In any case, quite frankly, the overall quality and health of the entire forum's community is more important than any one troublesome user will ever be, regardless of exactly how a problem is exhibiting itself, and if it comes down to us having to make a choice between you versus the greater health and happiness of the entire community, the community of this forum will win every time.

Lastly, there are also some posters, who are generally great contributors and do not otherwise cause any problems, who sometimes feel it's their place to provoke or to otherwise 'mess with' that small minority of people described in the last paragraph, and while we possibly might understand why you might feel you WANT to do something like that, the truth is we can't actually tolerate that kind of behavior from you any more than we can tolerate the behavior from them. So if we feel that you are trying to provoke those other posters into doing or saying something that will get themselves into trouble, then we will start to view you as a problem as well, because of the same reason as before: The overall health of the forum comes first, and trying to stir the pot with someone like that doesn't help, it just makes it worse. Some will simply disagree with this philosophy, but if so, then so be it because ultimately we have to do what we think is best so long as it's up to us.

If you see a problem that we haven't addressed, the best and most appropriate course for a forum member to take here is to look over to the left of the post in question. See underneath that poster's name, avatar, and other info, down where there's a little triangle with an exclamation point (!) in it? Click that. That allows you to report the post to the admins so we can definitely notice it and give it a look to see what we feel we should do about it. Beyond that, obviously it's human nature sometimes to want to speak up to the poster in question who has bothered you, but we would ask that you try to refrain from doing so because quite often what happens is two or more posters all start going back and forth about the original offending post, and suddenly the entire thread is off topic or otherwise derailed. So while the urge to police it yourself is understandable, it's best to just report it to us and let us handle it. Thank you!

All of the above is going to be subject to a case by case basis, but generally and broadly speaking, this should give everyone a pretty good idea of how things will typically / most often be handled.

Rule #2

If the actions of an administrator inspire you to make a comment, criticism, or express a concern about it, there is a wrong place and a couple of right places to do so.

The wrong place is to do so in the original thread in which the administrator took action. For example, if a post gets an infraction, or a post gets deleted, or a comment within a larger post gets clipped out, in a thread discussing Paul George, the wrong thing to do is to distract from the discussion of Paul George by adding your off topic thoughts on what the administrator did.

The right places to do so are:

A) Start a thread about the specific incident you want to talk about on the Feedback board. This way you are able to express yourself in an area that doesn't throw another thread off topic, and this way others can add their two cents as well if they wish, and additionally if there's something that needs to be said by the administrators, that is where they will respond to it.

B) Send a private message to the administrators, and they can respond to you that way.

If this is done the wrong way, those comments will be deleted, and if it's a repeating problem then it may also receive an infraction as well.

Rule #3

If a poster is bothering you, and an administrator has not or will not deal with that poster to the extent that you would prefer, you have a powerful tool at your disposal, one that has recently been upgraded and is now better than ever: The ability to ignore a user.

When you ignore a user, you will unfortunately still see some hints of their existence (nothing we can do about that), however, it does the following key things:

A) Any post they make will be completely invisible as you scroll through a thread.

B) The new addition to this feature: If someone QUOTES a user you are ignoring, you do not have to read who it was, or what that poster said, unless you go out of your way to click on a link to find out who it is and what they said.

To utilize this feature, from any page on Pacers Digest, scroll to the top of the page, look to the top right where it says 'Settings' and click that. From the settings page, look to the left side of the page where it says 'My Settings', and look down from there until you see 'Edit Ignore List' and click that. From here, it will say 'Add a Member to Your List...' Beneath that, click in the text box to the right of 'User Name', type in or copy & paste the username of the poster you are ignoring, and once their name is in the box, look over to the far right and click the 'Okay' button. All done!

Rule #4

Regarding infractions, currently they carry a value of one point each, and that point will expire in 31 days. If at any point a poster is carrying three points at the same time, that poster will be suspended until the oldest of the three points expires.

Rule #5

When you share or paste content or articles from another website, you must include the URL/link back to where you found it, who wrote it, and what website it's from. Said content will be removed if this doesn't happen.

An example:

If I copy and paste an article from the Indianapolis Star website, I would post something like this:

http://www.linktothearticlegoeshere.com/article
Title of the Article
Author's Name
Indianapolis Star

Rule #6

We cannot tolerate illegal videos on Pacers Digest. This means do not share any links to them, do not mention any websites that host them or link to them, do not describe how to find them in any way, and do not ask about them. Posts doing anything of the sort will be removed, the offenders will be contacted privately, and if the problem becomes habitual, you will be suspended, and if it still persists, you will probably be banned.

The legal means of watching or listening to NBA games are NBA League Pass Broadband (for US, or for International; both cost money) and NBA Audio League Pass (which is free). Look for them on NBA.com.

Rule #7

Provocative statements in a signature, or as an avatar, or as the 'tagline' beneath a poster's username (where it says 'Member' or 'Administrator' by default, if it is not altered) are an unwanted distraction that will more than likely be removed on sight. There can be shades of gray to this, but in general this could be something political or religious that is likely going to provoke or upset people, or otherwise something that is mean-spirited at the expense of a poster, a group of people, or a population.

It may or may not go without saying, but this goes for threads and posts as well, particularly when it's not made on the off-topic board (Market Square).

We do make exceptions if we feel the content is both innocuous and unlikely to cause social problems on the forum (such as wishing someone a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter), and we also also make exceptions if such topics come up with regards to a sports figure (such as the Lance Stephenson situation bringing up discussions of domestic abuse and the law, or when Jason Collins came out as gay and how that lead to some discussion about gay rights).

However, once the discussion seems to be more/mostly about the political issues instead of the sports figure or his specific situation, the thread is usually closed.

Rule #8

We prefer self-restraint and/or modesty when making jokes or off topic comments in a sports discussion thread. They can be fun, but sometimes they derail or distract from a topic, and we don't want to see that happen. If we feel it is a problem, we will either delete or move those posts from the thread.

Rule #9

Generally speaking, we try to be a "PG-13" rated board, and we don't want to see sexual content or similarly suggestive content. Vulgarity is a more muddled issue, though again we prefer things to lean more towards "PG-13" than "R". If we feel things have gone too far, we will step in.

Rule #10

We like small signatures, not big signatures. The bigger the signature, the more likely it is an annoying or distracting signature.

Rule #11

Do not advertise anything without talking about it with the administrators first. This includes advertising with your signature, with your avatar, through private messaging, and/or by making a thread or post.
See more
See less

ESPN's Bill Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • ESPN's Bill Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

    http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...simmons/100429


    Dwyane, LeBron and other humans

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    By Bill Simmons
    ESPN.com

    It's a gimmick that needs no introduction. It's a gimmick that says "I couldn't come up with a real column that has a beginning, middle and end," as well as "You're hopefully going to be entertained anyway." It's a gimmick that insinuates the rankings reflect a nationwide consensus, even though it's the opinion of one person and one person only. It's a gimmick that seemingly relies on a secret statistical formula, even though one doesn't actually exist. That's right, it's a power rankings column!

    Here's my little twist: We're calling this the "2010 NBA Playoffs Human Power Rankings." Why? Because I Googled "2010 NBA Playoffs Human Power Rankings" and nothing came up. That means I'm the Christopher Columbus of this idea. Or at least the Christopher Cross. Without further ado ...

    200. Jermaine O'Neal
    We have a new basement for playoff contract runs: In 117 brutal minutes over five games, O'Neal missed 35 of 44 shots, missed four of seven free throws, grabbed just 28 rebounds and nearly finished with a negative PER (2.8) ... and that doesn't begin to describe how poorly he played. He was like the Bizarro 2004 Jerome James. When your fans are clamoring for Joel Anthony, you know something horrible is happening. On the bright side, you know Mark Cuban has a five-year, $33 million offer waiting for him.

    199. Everyone on the Atlanta Hawks (tie)
    Hang your heads in shame. You had home-court advantage, as well as six of the best eight players in the series (including the best three), and yet, you turned off your fans completely and totally and now need to win on the road to survive? You know it was a three-game bender when people from Seattle start sending me "You think we can get the Hawks?" e-mails.

    177. Adrian Dantley
    Winner of the 2010 Shooter From Hoosiers Award, for the overmatched playoff coach who generates the most e-mails from my readers comparing him to Shooter (in the scene when Norman Dale gets kicked out). Too bad this can't be a ceremony with last year's winner (Vinny Del Negro) putting a plaid jacket on him while a grinning Jim Nantz looks on.

    156. Jason Kidd
    Five games, 32.5 percent FG, 45 points total and five made 2-pointers as the Spurs have hugged him on the 3-point line and dared him to drive. On the other end, he can't stay in front of any quick guards ... which has been the case for three years, but still. And if that's not enough, he made Roddy Beaubois the fourth-most popular person in Dallas behind Dirk Nowitzki, Tony Romo and the guy who pooped on the floor of Bennett Salvatore's steakhouse in Stamford, Conn. (OK, that didn't happen. Yet.) Did I miss anything? I'm pretty sure Dallas could have gone 1-3 in playoff series from 2008 to 2010 had they just kept Devin Harris, two No. 1s and the extra $10 million. Almost positive. One of the biggest games of Kidd's career Thursday night.

    152. Phil Jackson
    Took until Game 5 for him to say, "Maybe I should put Kobe (my best perimeter defender) on Russell Westbrook (the guy who's killing us) and shift Derek Fisher (who can't defend anyone) to Thabo Sefolosha (who can't score and seems mildly terrified)." Actually, he didn't say it -- Kobe told him, "I'm guarding Westbrook tonight." Here's where Lakers fans say, "Come on, Phil was saving Kobe's legs!" Hooey. Had the Lakers pounded OKC inside (where they have an overwhelming advantage) and controlled Westbrook, they would have swept the series. Pretty sure that would have saved Kobe's legs. At the very least, they could have thrown Kobe on Westbrook in the Games 2 and 3 crunch times.

    (Here's a good rule of thumb: If Jeff Green is defending Pau Gasol, you might want to get Pau Gasol the ball. In Game 2, Kobe took 28 shots, Gasol took 14. The next game, Kobe took 29 shots -- Gasol took nine. On what planet does this make sense? Not a good month for everyone in the "Kobe's finally getting it!" camp.)

    144. The Clippers
    I split my season tickets with my friend Tollin this year. We went to 21 games combined, gave away 15, and ate five games either because we couldn't find anyone or forgot there was a game. Of the 10 I attended, I enjoyed two. Not only does the Sports Gal refuse to go with me anymore, she refuses to allow me to bring my kids, explaining, "If you want them to like sports, this isn't going to help." Good point. Anyway, I took her to Game 2 of the Lakers-OKC series. After 2½ hours of staring at trophy wives, bimbos, celebrities, botched plastic surgeries and the guy sitting to our left who looked like he was hoping someone would cast him as the European assassin in "Taken 2," after a really entertaining game with a lively group of fans, and after seeing Kobe and Durant, she announced, "That's the first time I've had fun at a basketball game in I-don't-know-how-long."

    (Translation: I don't think I'm getting those Clippers tickets again. You know who might get the nod? The Kings! Who's up for a year of hockey columns with a title like "Behind the Boards"? Anyone? Any takers? Anybody?)

    123. Ray Felton
    Made Jameer Nelson look good enough that I left the Magic series thinking, "Either Nelson has gone to another level and I need to reconfigure my 'Orlando can't make the Finals without a real go-to guy' statement, or Ray Felton is a career backup and should not earn more than $2.35 million a year."

    119. Jeff Green/Thabo Sefolosha (tie)
    This spring's proof of the "You can't count on young guys in the playoffs" theory. I can't blame Green because the Lakers chew up undersized power forwards. But Thabo desperately needs to go to Bruce Bowen Summer Camp, where aspiring stoppers learn how to make open corner 3s, *accidentally* trip opponents even though it's intentional, step on an opponent's toes as he's jumping, and make a convincing "What did I do????" face to the officials.

    115. Shaquille O'Neal
    Seemed a little winded in Games 4 and 5 of the Chicago series after hosting "Saturday Night Live" last weekend.

    105. Michael Beasley
    Hate to throw the "bust" word around after two years, so let's flip this around. You're watching the playoffs right now. Pretty competitive, right? Other than scoring, you need to rebound, defend and play hard to advance. Beasley can't do any of those three things. Play an undersized power forward against him (like Glen Davis in Game 2) and he gets eaten up. Stick a small forward on him (like Paul Pierce) and he can't post that guy up. Stick a traditional power forward on him (like Kevin Garnett) and he can't beat that guy off the dribble or prevent the guy from scoring on the low post. So what's left? I don't see any conceivable scenario in which this guy has a meaningful NBA career. Could he put up stats on a bad team? Of course. Anything else, I'm not seeing it. All of Pat Riley's fidgeting during the 2008 draft now makes perfect sense.

    If Dwyane Wade ends up leaving this summer, it's because of two reasons:

    A. The teams that ended up with O.J. Mayo (3) Russell Westbrook (4), Kevin Love (5), Danilo Gallinari (6), Eric Gordon (7), Brook Lopez (10), Jerryd Bayless (11), Robin Lopez (15), Serge Ibaka (24), Nic Batum (25) and George Hill (26) wouldn't trade those guys for Beasley right now. That's a borderline catastrophe. They got the 13th-best guy in the draft at No. 2.

    B. Riley didn't sell his Beasley stock in time. The window was February, when a panicking Suns team happily would have green-lighted Beasley (making $19.4 million from 2011-2013), Udonis Haslem's expiring deal and a protected 2010 No. 1 for Amar'e Stoudemire. If you're Miami, why not? Amar'e gets a taste of Miami for a few months; you get the chance to offer him a sixth year and more money; worst-case scenario, you have his sign-and-trade rights this summer; you can make a 2010 playoffs run with the Wade-Amar'e combo; and you potentially have a 2010-11 nucleus of Wade, Amar'e and Free Agent Star X.

    If you're Wade, would you stick around and put your basketball prime in the hands of someone who just botched those two decisions? Or would you flip teams and opt for a safer situation? More on this later.

    91. Memo Okur
    The Jazz became unbeatable after he blew out his Achilles tendon in Game 1, only he's not good enough to qualify for the Ewing Theory. Tough year for NBA players from Turkey.

    (Speaking of tough years, as Falcon in Edmonton points out, "Is it just me or is the NBA pimping season tickets for next year kind of like going back home after being away for a few years and having the previously untouchable high school hottie being way drunk and begging you to take her home? I mean, she's still good looking, but I'm a little short on cash and really don't want to dish out for brunch tomorrow ... ")

    80. Portland's brain trust
    I tweeted it at the time and I'll write it again: Allowing Brandon Roy to play that soon in the Phoenix series is the kind of short-term, short-sighted decision you make when your front office is in complete disarray. It was Roy's job to claim he could play, and it was Portland's job to say, "We can't take the risk, especially with our injury history over the past 35 years and the way our medical staff has blown some of its decisions these past couple of years. Athletes get hurt when they're slightly out of shape and don't quite trust their bodies yet. We don't care that you've been cleared; we're not winning the title this year, anyway. Practice with us for a few days and, if it goes well, we'll bring you back for Game 6." Any franchise that has its basketball people and owners on the same page plays it that way.

    75. Joey Crawford
    Why the NBA Shouldn't Have Old Refs, Vol. 9,817.

    69. Dwight Howard
    The good news: Orlando swept Charlotte despite Howard missing 22 of 35 free throws, making just 13 field goals and committing a staggering 22 fouls (tying a playoff record for a four-game sweep, according to ESPN Stats & Information ace researcher Alok Pattani). Throw in Vince Carter's lousy performance (20-56 FG, 1-17 on 3s) and everyone who argued that the Magic's superior depth was their biggest strength was feeling good. It's true -- the Magic can survive multiple stinkbombs from their best six guys and still win any given game. Noted.

    On the other hand, many still believe Howard will make a leap of sorts (think Shaq in 1999-2000). Someday. If you believe this, you believe that -- eventually -- he will learn to stop getting whistled for dumb fouls and getting roped into double technicals, stop jumping over people's backs, become more of a viable low-post threat, make a higher percentage of free throws and so on. Are you sure? The following post-1970 centers peaked statistically as scorers/rebounders within the first seven seasons of their career: Kareem (Year 2); Mutombo (Year 2); McAdoo (Year 3); Moses (Year 4); Cowens (Year 3); Walton (Year 4); Mourning (Year 4); Ewing (Year 5); Yao (Year 5); Robinson (Year 5); Daugherty (Year 5); and Parish (Year 6). If you believe Howard can still get better, you're banking on two points: He came right out of high school (possibly setting his Peaking Clock back a couple of years), and Hakeem Olajuwon peaked super-late (Year 10). The odds are much better that Howard is who he is at this point.

    My take hasn't changed: If you're an Orlando fan, you know that you have the best rebounder/shot-blocker in the league -- by a decent margin, actually -- but you also know that you can't run plays for him in crunch time (nor does he want you to), you wince every time he gets fouled, and you fret constantly about keeping him on the floor in playoff games. Were three of the Game 4 fouls called against Howard totally unfair? Yes. Did he have every right to complain about them? Yes. But officials don't give foul-happy players the benefit of the doubt, and the fact remains, Howard's current foul-per-game rate (4.3 in 41 playoff games) is the seventh-worst of anyone who ever played 40-plus playoff games and the worst rate of anyone since Lonnie Shelton ... who retired 24 years ago. Yikes.

    (The good news for Magic fans: If the Hawks complete their epic collapse this weekend, Howard gets to feast on a Kurt Thomas/Dan Gadzuric/Ersan Ilyasova trio in Round 2. The Bucks might have to bring Andrew Bogut back for that series, stick a hard plaster cast on his arm like Iron Mike Sharpe, then throw him out there to club Howard around. Could you beat the Magic with Hack-A-Howard by using 24 fouls a game? Don't think Scott Skiles isn't mulling it over.)

    67. Mark Cuban
    From the "Damn, I wish I had thought of this before I picked these guys to make the Finals" files: After I submitted my playoff preview, a reader (sorry, lost the e-mail) lambasted me by basically saying, "Simmons, you realize you just picked a team that changed 40 percent of its crunch-time roster in February to beat the Popovich/Duncan/Manu/Parker nucleus in Round 1, right? Experience and continuity wins championships. I thought you were smart." Yeah, but still.

    62. Vince Carter
    In his honor, I'm mailing this paragraph in.

    52. Chauncey Billups
    You might remember me making the "We need to stop calling Chauncey 'Mr. Big Shot'" case as he was disappearing from the 2007 Cleveland series (scroll down to No. 3). Since then, he struggled in the 2008 Pistons-Celts series (16.5 PPG 39 percent FG shooting), disappeared in the last two games of the 2009 Lakers-Nuggets series (12 points in Game 5, 10 points in Game 6) and was dominated by Deron Williams through four games until showing signs of life Wednesday night. In my playoff preview two weeks ago, I mentioned that Chauncey had done just enough to make the Hall of Fame Pyramid of the paperback of my book. After watching the 2010 Nuggets implode, and after watching Williams (28.2 PPG, 11.6 APG, 51 percent FG) have his way with Chauncey for two weeks ... I don't know. Tough one.

    41. Ron Artest
    Durant is earning his playoff Masters at Artest College right now. Not so easy to make 50 percent of your shots with someone built like an NFL tight end shoving/pushing/grabbing/clutching you and making you work to get free on every screen and every pick. This current version of Artest was put on earth to defend two guys: Carmelo and Durant. Still, he remains an offensive liability (34 percent shooting, 5-for-27 on 3s in the series) ... and if you think he's going to make it through four rounds without getting kicked out of the wrong game, *****ing at the wrong ref or melting down at the wrong time, you're crazier than he is.


    36. Quentin Richardson
    Who would have thought that a washed-up swingman on his way out of the league -- and not Doc Rivers, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen or Danny Ainge -- would be the one who finally woke up the 2009-10 Boston Celtics (and their fans) from their four-month nap? Thank you, Q. Thank you. I actually like watching my team again.


    31. Serge Ibaka
    Let's say Sam Presti resigned, OKC hired me to run the team, David Stern announced that the league was adding 10 more teams, and there was a mega-expansion draft coming in June in which I could protect only three of my players. (I know, this isn't the most likely scenario. Just bear with me.) I would protect Durant, Westbrook ... and Serge Ibaka. It's true.


    (Random note: I'm not sure someone named "Serge Ibaka" needs a nickname. That's a strong name. He sounds like the villain in a James Bond flick -- as in, the world is going to blow up unless 007 can stop Serge Ibaka. But every time an announcer screams Ibaka's name -- and it's happened a few times in this Lakers series -- it always sounds a little like "Chewbacca." Which makes me wonder if we could get away with calling him "Chewie." Just throwing it out there. And while we're on the subject, let's stop with the "Durantula" crap. We should be calling Kevin Durant "Plastic Man." That's what he is. We made a mistake collectively approving that nickname for Stacey Augmon 20 years ago; it didn't work out; and we should get a mulligan. Kevin Durant should be Plastic Man. Freaky-long arms, crazy reach, superhero tendencies ... what am I missing?)


    27. Antawn Jamison
    Forgot how good that trade was.


    26. Manu Ginobili
    Forgot how much I missed watching him. He's one of like five current players who could get away with playing with a giant maxi-pad on his face.


    23. Steve Javie, Mark Wunderlich (tie)
    Forgot how few good refs there are. We lost these guys (both crew chiefs) for the playoffs to injuries and it made Round 1 about 9.73 percent worse.


    20. Russell Westbrook
    Forgot how breathtaking he is to watch in person. My "So Much Better To Watch In Person Than On TV" Team for the 2009-10 Season: Derrick Rose, Dwyane Wade (guards); Kevin Durant, LeBron James, (forwards); Dwight Howard (center); Josh Smith, Westbrook, Rajon Rondo, Tyreke Evans, Gerald Wallace, Pau Gasol, Amare Stoudemire (bench); Anthony Randolph, Yao Ming, Eddy Curry (injured list).


    19. Gregg Popovich
    Forgot how good of a coach he was. A masterful job this season juggling lineups, adjusting to Duncan's offensive decay, bringing guys back from injuries and aiming for a late-April peak. I never thought he could pull it off in time.


    18. Kobe Bryant
    His performance in Game 4's blowout (when he shared the ball a little too blatantly, with a petulant demeanor, as if he was saying, "Fine, Phil, if you want us to pound it inside, then I'm doing that and not even pretending I might shoot") looked even worse after his Game 5 performance (when he controlled the flow of the game despite taking just nine shots in a classic "the stats didn't reflect how well someone played" performance. The reason we ***** about Game 4 Kobe is because we know Game 5 Kobe exists. And so does he.


    15. Jason Richardson
    2010's most unlikely do-or-die NBA player. When he's good, you can't beat the Suns. When he sucks, you can absolutely beat the Suns. Don't believe me? During the season, he averaged 17.8 PPG, 52% FG and 46% 3FG in wins ... and 11.7 PPG, 39.3% FG and 25% 3FG in losses. In the playoffs, he scored 84 points (58% FG) in Phoenix's three wins and 29 points (31% FG) in its two losses. So if he plays four good games every series ... and the Suns win every one of those games ... I mean ...


    13. John Salmons
    A playoff warrior last spring ... so we can't be surprised that he's a playoff warrior this spring. Yet another guy Miami could have plucked this season. By the way, I'm demanding Captain Lou Albano-like rubber bands in Salmons' beard before Game 6.

    12. Danny Crawford
    Just the facts according to our guy Alok Pattani. Starting with the 2001 playoffs:


    A. The Mavs are 2-16 in playoff games officiated by Crawford since 2001 (including Game 3 of the Spurs series, a loss) ... and 46-39 in all other playoff games. They won their first 2001 playoff game with him (Game 5 versus Utah), so they've lost 15 of the past 16.


    B. Against the spread, the Mavs are 4-14 with Crawford officiating ... and 45-40 in all other playoff games.


    C. They averaged 21.9 free throws in the Crawford games; 27.1 free throws in the non-Crawford games.


    So why does Danny rank so highly in the power rankings? Because any NBA official who can keep his job post-Donaghy with a documented history of bias against a particular team has to be commended. I'm being sarcastic. What a joke. The league could easily avoid these situations by admitting that, yes, from time to time, a team rubs an official the wrong way, and officials are human, and there's nothing we can do about this other than making sure the official and the team cross paths as little as possible -- like Crawford and Dallas, like Bill Kennedy and Boston, like Joey Crawford and San Antonio (1-4 in Crawford's five Spurs playoff games since he was suspended for ejecting Tim Duncan in 2007) -- but apparently it's easier to stick our heads in the sand and pretend this stuff isn't going on. You know, because Tim Donaghy's documented-by-the-FBI, staggeringly successful record of picking winners by playing on the biases of officials against certain teams didn't really happen. Even though it did. Let's just move on.


    10. Bucks fans
    FEAR THE DEER! FEAR THEM! YOU MUST FEAR THE DEER! COWER, DUCK YOUR HEAD AND PEE IN YOUR PANTS! FEAR THE DEER!!!!!!!!!!


    (Follow-up note: I am expecting one of the great basketball crowds of the past 15 years in Milwaukee on Friday night. Just know that if it wasn't my daughter's birthday this weekend, I would have walked from Los Angeles to be at that game. OK, not really. But I would have done just about anything. Maybe for Round 2. Hold your heads high, people of Milwaukee. You proved this season that small market basketball can work with the right group of fans.)


    9. Ray Allen
    His last four Miami games: 22.3 PPG, 58% FG, 19-of-32 3s. He continues to be the most underrated summer free agent because you could, conceivably, get him with the midlevel exception after signing two other big guns. Let's say LeBron goes to the Knicks, convinces Joe Johnson to join him, and then the Knicks sign-and-trade David Lee for Chris Bosh ... or as Knicks fans call it, "Our Wet Dream Scenario." Add Ray Allen and Danilo Gallinari to the mix, sprinkle in some Mike D'Antoni and the 2010-11 Wet Dream Knicks would score 120 points a game. I'm just sayin'.


    (Fast-forward to August, when Knicks fans are trying to talk themselves into Joe Johnson, Carlos Boozer and the Baron Davis-for-Eddy Curry trade and sending me e-mails like "Screw you Simmons! You got my hopes up with the Wet Dream Knicks! I hope you die a slow death!")


    8. Roger Goodell
    Moved his NFL draft head-to-head against the NBA and NHL playoffs, came out of it with a 7.1 rating ... and nary a peep of protest from the NBA except for Mark Cuban. I have too much respect for the Stern era to make the "This never would have happened if David Stern was still alive" joke. But I did think about it.


    7. Jameer Nelson
    Played well enough down the stretch of the regular season, and then in Round 1, that "What if Jameer Nelson had been healthy in the 2009 Finals?" has become a legitimate "What If?"


    6. Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah (tie)
    Their 2010 playoff performances were a co-written love letter to LeBron and Wade. Here's what the letter said:


    Dear LeBron and Dwyane,


    We are wired correctly. We give a crap. We want to win. We are really really good. We are warriors. We could absolutely be the second-best and third-best guys on a team that wins multiple titles. Sadly, this can't happen without one of you. Please think about Chicago. It's cold during the winter, but during the spring and summer, there's no better place. It's the No. 3 TV market. It's the city that once had the greatest player ever. We're firing our coach and GM this summer; if you want, you can pick the next two guys. We want to win titles. Not title ... titles. By the way, Joakim wants you to know that he isn't nearly as annoying if he's your teammate.


    Much respect,
    Joakim and Derrick


    5. Brandon Jennings
    All Jennings did in this Atlanta series was announce to everyone, "I get better when it matters." There aren't 20 guys in the league wired like that. Who knew? And on that note, the entire Knicks fan base will throw Molotov cocktails at one another.


    4. George Karl
    Big postseason for the "NBA Coaches Matter" camp: Jerry Sloan's system trumping the injury bug in Utah; Popovich piecing together a difficult situation in San Antonio; Scott Skiles pulling off one of the three great Round 1 coaching jobs of the past 10 years (along with Rick Carlisle in 2005 and Don Nelson in 2007); Scottie Brooks weaning Ibaka and James Harden perfectly during the regular season (and having both guys shine in the playoffs); Alvin Gentry smartly building his bench's confidence during the regular season, then having that trust pay off when the bench guys carried Phoenix to a Game 5 win; and, of course, Denver's semi-collapse without Karl running the show.


    Is it possible that coaches are getting better? We have eight good ones right now: the five above, plus Nate McMillan, Larry Brown and Phil Jackson. Throw in Doc Rivers, Mike Brown, Rick Adelman, Stan Van Gundy and Rick Carlisle as "at the very least, they've been competent and haven't derailed good teams" guys. That's 13. If you count Lionel Hollins (40-42 for that goofy Memphis team) and Jeff Van Gundy (currently working for ABC), that's almost a half-league of decent-to-great coaches! Hubie Brown is sobbing with joy right now.


    3. LeBron James
    Allow me to nitpick "Mona Lisa" for a second. In Game 4, he played one of the best random playoff games I have ever seen in my life: 37 points, 12 rebounds, 11 assists, one half-court shot, seven missed shots total (including free throws), one hellacious block and 36 minutes of cutthroat, MJ-like intensity. You could tell by his face within 20 seconds of tipoff that the Cavs weren't losing that game.


    One game later, the Cavs were about to close out Chicago. LeBron is at the line, up three, with seven seconds remaining. His elbow is bothering him. He wants us to know this. He makes the first free throw to clinch the game. For the second free throw, he shifts his stance and shoots it left-handed ... and misses it. During Chicago's ensuing possession, he holds his limp arm like it's broken and winces through the final play. In the postgame interviews, he claims that he's fine, and nobody pushes him on it ... meanwhile, HE SHOT A FREE THROW LEFT-HANDED IN A FOUR-POINT PLAYOFF GAME! What??????????? Either ...


    A. His elbow is genuinely injured and the Celtics have a chance in Round 2.



    B. LeBron caught the Flu Game on ESPN Classic, said to himself, "I'm too indestructible right now, this is becoming a no-win situation. If I win the title, everyone will say I should have won the title. Maybe I'll milk this elbow injury, lower everyone's expectations a little and generate some false sympathy heading into Round 2."


    It's one or the other. Either way, the door has been opened for a once-dead 2009-10 Celtics team. Just a little.


    (By the way, Casey in Hoboken, N.J., has a great idea for Boston fans in Round 2: "It's been the story all year, yet no crowd has used it to their advantage. If this was college basketball we would have heard it months ago. Imagine 18,000 fans chanting "LEBRON IS LEAVING" or "NEW YORK KNICKS!" every time LeBron was shooting free throws. It may not distract LeBron, but all his teammates would definitely get affected. Right?" Right. I'd take it a step further: If the Celtics blow out Cleveland in Game 3 or Game 4, they just sing Sinatra's entire "New York, New York" song. Any edge counts.)


    2. Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer (tie)
    We learned a valuable lesson here: No "injury-riddled team" can be counted out in the playoffs if they still have their best two guys. By the way, I'm about to have a Shawn Michaels/Marty Janetty moment with Chris Paul ... so hold on tight ... but I can't fight it anymore. Deron Williams is officially the best point guard alive. For the old "Independence Day" scenario in which aliens land on earth and challenge us to a game of basketball for the future of the universe, if we could pick only five guys, Williams, LeBron, Wade, Howard and Melo would have to be the five.


    (Well, unless you're a Lakers fan. Then you'd pick LeBron, Bynum, Gasol, Kobe and Jordan Farmar.)


    1. Dwyane Wade
    His Game 4 against the Celtics (46 points, just eight missed shots) was one of the highest degree-of-difficulty performances I can ever remember watching. It had already been established that (A) his team sucked, (B) the Celtics were going to swarm him at the 3-point line any time he thought about driving, (C) they were going to double him coming off any screen, and (D) any time he drove into the paint, the entire Boston team was going to collapse on him. Didn't matter. After he caught fire in the fourth, the Celtics double-teamed him 35 feet from the basket. He still got his points. This wasn't a great game as much as a great performance -- to paraphrase the great Bill Walton, Wade controlled the flow of the game and did it with real meaning.


    An NBA performance can come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. For instance, you can have ...


    "The Torch Pass" -- When a younger great player yanks the torch away from an older great player. Like Bird outscoring Doc 42-6 in 1984, leading to their crazy fight.


    "The Robert Altman" -- When someone controls every aspect of a basketball game without scoring, almost like a director would control a movie. Only Bird and Magic could do this consistently ... although LeBron has it in him.


    "The Angelina Jolie in 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith'" -- When a potential free agent is playing on the road in a potential destination city and turns it on a little, and in return, the crowd raises it a level as well. Think LeBron in New York.


    "The Severe Gut Check" -- When a veteran star(s) is running on fumes and grits out one of those "There's no way in hell I'm losing this" playoff games. Best example: Jordan and Pippen, Game 7, 1998 Eastern Finals versus Indiana. Just an FYI: We might see Kobe pull one or two of these off this spring. I'm excited.


    "The Mitchell & Ness Throwback" -- When a slightly-past-his-prime star reaches into the throwback machine and submits a monster game. My favorite recent one: Shaq's 36-20 in Game 4 of the 2004 Finals. His last truly dominant game.


    "The Billy Chapel" -- When a mostly washed-up player catches fire one last time. Think Steve Kerr against Dallas in the 2003 playoffs, or Big Shot Rob in Game 5 of the 2005 Finals.


    "The Dueling Banjos" -- When two great players bring the best out in each other on a big stage. Think Bird and Dominique, Game 7, 1988 playoffs.


    "The Willis Reed" -- When an injured player defies the odds, returns at home and makes a few big plays. We just had one of these! Brandon Roy in Game 4. And no, I still don't think he should have played.


    "The Michael Jackson Moonwalk" -- When a future superstar puts himself on the map with one of those "In case there wasn't any doubt, I am here to stay" moments (like Jordan's 63 in the Boston Garden). Yes, I am hoping for a Durant Moonwalk Game Friday night in Game 6 or in Game 7. Keep your fingers crossed.


    "The Eff You" -- When a star destroys a team with particular zeal. My personal favorite: Bird in Game 6 of the 1986 Finals. The best example: Jordan's Game 4 versus the '93 Knicks (54 points and at least 10 eff you moments).


    "The Eff You In Particular" -- When a star destroys a rival with particular zeal. Like Jordan ruining Drexler in Game 1 of the 1992 Finals, or Hakeem watching David Robinson accept the 1994 MVP trophy (then dismantling him completely and totally), or MJ hitting the buzzer-beater in the first game of the 1997 Finals after "MVP" Karl Malone missed two free throws. Just for the record, I absolutely LOVE the "Eff You In Particular" game. My favorite of favorites.


    "The Degree of Difficulty" -- When a star shines as efficiently and splendidly as possible. It's almost like a perfect figure skating routine. Had Wade played Game 4 any worse than he did, Miami would have been swept. He had to nail his triple axels, his double toe loops, everything. It was a 9.9 on the Degree of Difficulty Scale.


    "The Virtuoso Evisceration" -- When a star completely and totally destroys a team Keyser Soze style without any real provocation. He's just doing it for sport and carving a manufactured challenge into a real one. As in, "I haven't proved this in a while, I thought it would be fun to kick some butt." That's what LeBron did in Game 4 against Chicago. Only the greats can pull this off. It's the highest level you can hit.


    Here's the point: I know that Wade, depending on the situation, can hit nearly every one of those aforementioned levels. But the last one? I don't know. He might be on the Virtuoso Evisceration level, he might not. We won't know until he plays for a very good team in a city that gives a crap about basketball. He should sign with Chicago. He should force a sign-and-trade to Dallas. He should do something. We know Dwyane Wade is great. We just don't know how great. He owes it to himself to find out.


    Bill Simmons is a columnist for ESPN.com and the author of the recent New York Times best-seller "The Book of Basketball." For every Simmons column and podcast, check out Sports Guy's World. Follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sportsguy33.
    Last edited by Unclebuck; 05-03-2010, 09:31 PM.

  • #2
    Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

    I was kinda dissapointed. With the teaser singling out Jermaine and with him being the worst on the list, I was really expecting Simmons to lay into him, with paragraph-upon-paragraph of Kelso-esque burns. There was hardly any sarcasm or witty insults, and it was only 1 measly paragraph. If anything, he let him off easy.


    Still, a great article, though.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

      Originally posted by Day-V View Post
      I was kinda dissapointed. With the teaser singling out Jermaine and with him being the worst on the list, I was really expecting Simmons to lay into him, with paragraph-upon-paragraph of Kelso-esque burns. There was hardly any sarcasm or witty insults, and it was only 1 measly paragraph. If anything, he let him off easy.


      Still, a great article, though.

      I guess he didn't want to waste a sizable chuck of his column on such an insignificant player like JO.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

        Originally posted by Adam1987 View Post
        I guess he didn't want to waste a sizable chuck of his column on such an insignificant player like JO.
        Valid point, but like I said, JO was the WORST player on his list.

        I guess in a way, I figured his insignificance would be significant.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

          Simmons is a funny man if not taken very seriously, and I don't, especially after this piece.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

            Originally posted by Brad8888 View Post
            Simmons is a funny man if not taken very seriously, and I don't, especially after this piece.
            I don't take him very seriously, but I think he does have some real insight into the NBA. I disagree with him quite often, but I respect his opinion. Bob Kravitz while I respect his writing ability, I do not respect his Pacers/NBA opinions even when I agree with him on a certain point.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

              The NBA is definitely by far his favorite sport. You can tell that he watches a TON of NBA basketball. His columns are always well worth the read because they mix in solid analysis with good humor.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

                Originally posted by Adam1987 View Post
                The NBA is definitely by far his favorite sport. You can tell that he watches a TON of NBA basketball. His columns are always well worth the read because they mix in solid analysis with good humor.
                I guess the reason why I respect his opinions is because he does watch a ton of NBA basketball. Kravitz might watch the 5 or 6 pacers games he goes to each year, but no more than that and I used the word might on purprose, I guess he is only half watching even when he's there.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

                  Originally posted by Unclebuck View Post
                  105. Michael Beasley
                  Hate to throw the "bust" word around after two years, so let's flip this around.

                  ....

                  A. The teams that ended up with O.J. Mayo (3) Russell Westbrook (4), Kevin Love (5), Danilo Gallinari (6), Eric Gordon (7), Brook Lopez (10), Jerryd Bayless (11), Robin Lopez (15), Serge Ibaka (24), Nic Batum (25) and George Hill (26) wouldn't trade those guys for Beasley right now. That's a borderline catastrophe. They got the 13th-best guy in the draft at No. 2.


                  I'd be surprised if there's a single GM in the league that would take Beasley over Roy.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

                    Originally posted by GrangeRusHibbert View Post


                    I'd be surprised if there's a single GM in the league that would take Beasley over Roy.
                    Beat me to it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

                      Remember how excellent JO was against us at the beginning of the season?

                      Mr. October.
                      "Look, it's up to me to put a team around ... Lance right now." —Kevin Pritchard press conference

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

                        Originally posted by Day-V View Post
                        I was kinda dissapointed. With the teaser singling out Jermaine and with him being the worst on the list, I was really expecting Simmons to lay into him, with paragraph-upon-paragraph of Kelso-esque burns. There was hardly any sarcasm or witty insults, and it was only 1 measly paragraph. If anything, he let him off easy.


                        Still, a great article, though.
                        I think Bill used up all of this venom on Wallace's dead carcass that the Celtics trout out there every so often.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

                          He has personality, and he also clearly has his biases. Interesting read.

                          One thing I will say though, is I really think people have the Kobe/Lakers issue backwards. Kobe starts chucking when it's clear his team needs him too -aka they aren't playing well. They are an extremely talanted team, but they are also incredibly inconsistent.
                          Then Kobe gets blamed, and he gets pouty and he plays the "I'm passing because that's what you all want" game. When the rest of his team plays poorly, Kobe looks like a selfish brat who "doesn't get it." But when he goes the passing route and his teammates play well, we get "Look how Kobe could play ALL the time." Bottom line is, when you are trying to play like a PG, the rest of the players have to play well or you aren't going to look good. Kobe can't make Lamar Odom show up.

                          Lebron plays just like Kobe in the playoffs, and no one says a word. In fact, last year it seemed like he tried to be Kobe..and failed. Of course then, obviously, Cleveland didn't have as good of players. Barkley is the only one I've heard mention this though, as Lebron is starting to do it again. - And once again, Lebron is playing like he needs to. If his teammates don't show up, he needs to dominate, same as Kobe. It's just the bias that bothers me.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

                            Originally posted by thewholefnshow31 View Post
                            I think Bill used up all of this venom on Wallace's dead carcass that the Celtics trout out there every so often.
                            lol, he's mentioned that on more than 1 occasion on his podcasts.


                            His podcasts are almost always amazing.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: ESPN's Bills Simmons ranks NBA playoff players. JO is dead last

                              Among competent, intelligent, NBA writers.............

                              I rank Bill Simmons dead last
                              Sittin on top of the world!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X