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The Rules of Pacers Digest

Hello everyone,

Whether your are a long standing forum member or whether you have just registered today, it's a good idea to read and review the rules below so that you have a very good idea of what to expect when you come to Pacers Digest.

A quick note to new members: Your posts will not immediately show up when you make them. An administrator has to approve at least your first post before the forum software will later upgrade your account to the status of a fully-registered member. This usually happens within a couple of hours or so after your post(s) is/are approved, so you may need to be a little patient at first.

Why do we do this? So that it's more difficult for spammers (be they human or robot) to post, and so users who are banned cannot immediately re-register and start dousing people with verbal flames.

Below are the rules of Pacers Digest. After you have read them, you will have a very good sense of where we are coming from, what we expect, what we don't want to see, and how we react to things.

Rule #1

Pacers Digest is intended to be a place to discuss basketball without having to deal with the kinds of behaviors or attitudes that distract people from sticking with the discussion of the topics at hand. These unwanted distractions can come in many forms, and admittedly it can sometimes be tricky to pin down each and every kind that can rear its ugly head, but we feel that the following examples and explanations cover at least a good portion of that ground and should at least give people a pretty good idea of the kinds of things we actively discourage:

"Anyone who __________ is a liar / a fool / an idiot / a blind homer / has their head buried in the sand / a blind hater / doesn't know basketball / doesn't watch the games"

"People with intelligence will agree with me when I say that __________"

"Only stupid people think / believe / do ___________"

"I can't wait to hear something from PosterX when he/she sees that **insert a given incident or current event that will have probably upset or disappointed PosterX here**"

"He/she is just delusional"

"This thread is stupid / worthless / embarrassing"

"I'm going to take a moment to point and / laugh at PosterX / GroupOfPeopleY who thought / believed *insert though/belief here*"

"Remember when PosterX said OldCommentY that no longer looks good? "

In general, if a comment goes from purely on topic to something 'ad hominem' (personal jabs, personal shots, attacks, flames, however you want to call it, towards a person, or a group of people, or a given city/state/country of people), those are most likely going to be found intolerable.

We also dissuade passive aggressive behavior. This can be various things, but common examples include statements that are basically meant to imply someone is either stupid or otherwise incapable of holding a rational conversation. This can include (but is not limited to) laughing at someone's conclusions rather than offering an honest rebuttal, asking people what game they were watching, or another common problem is Poster X will say "that player isn't that bad" and then Poster Y will say something akin to "LOL you think that player is good". We're not going to tolerate those kinds of comments out of respect for the community at large and for the sake of trying to just have an honest conversation.

Now, does the above cover absolutely every single kind of distraction that is unwanted? Probably not, but you should by now have a good idea of the general types of things we will be discouraging. The above examples are meant to give you a good feel for / idea of what we're looking for. If something new or different than the above happens to come along and results in the same problem (that being, any other attitude or behavior that ultimately distracts from actually just discussing the topic at hand, or that is otherwise disrespectful to other posters), we can and we will take action to curb this as well, so please don't take this to mean that if you managed to technically avoid saying something exactly like one of the above examples that you are then somehow off the hook.

That all having been said, our goal is to do so in a generally kind and respectful way, and that doesn't mean the moment we see something we don't like that somebody is going to be suspended or banned, either. It just means that at the very least we will probably say something about it, quite possibly snipping out the distracting parts of the post in question while leaving alone the parts that are actually just discussing the topics, and in the event of a repeating or excessive problem, then we will start issuing infractions to try to further discourage further repeat problems, and if it just never seems to improve, then finally suspensions or bans will come into play. We would prefer it never went that far, and most of the time for most of our posters, it won't ever have to.

A slip up every once and a while is pretty normal, but, again, when it becomes repetitive or excessive, something will be done. Something occasional is probably going to be let go (within reason), but when it starts to become habitual or otherwise a pattern, odds are very good that we will step in.

There's always a small minority that like to push people's buttons and/or test their own boundaries with regards to the administrators, and in the case of someone acting like that, please be aware that this is not a court of law, but a private website run by people who are simply trying to do the right thing as they see it. If we feel that you are a special case that needs to be dealt with in an exceptional way because your behavior isn't explicitly mirroring one of our above examples of what we generally discourage, we can and we will take atypical action to prevent this from continuing if you are not cooperative with us.

Also please be aware that you will not be given a pass simply by claiming that you were 'only joking,' because quite honestly, when someone really is just joking, for one thing most people tend to pick up on the joke, including the person or group that is the target of the joke, and for another thing, in the event where an honest joke gets taken seriously and it upsets or angers someone, the person who is truly 'only joking' will quite commonly go out of his / her way to apologize and will try to mend fences. People who are dishonest about their statements being 'jokes' do not do so, and in turn that becomes a clear sign of what is really going on. It's nothing new.

In any case, quite frankly, the overall quality and health of the entire forum's community is more important than any one troublesome user will ever be, regardless of exactly how a problem is exhibiting itself, and if it comes down to us having to make a choice between you versus the greater health and happiness of the entire community, the community of this forum will win every time.

Lastly, there are also some posters, who are generally great contributors and do not otherwise cause any problems, who sometimes feel it's their place to provoke or to otherwise 'mess with' that small minority of people described in the last paragraph, and while we possibly might understand why you might feel you WANT to do something like that, the truth is we can't actually tolerate that kind of behavior from you any more than we can tolerate the behavior from them. So if we feel that you are trying to provoke those other posters into doing or saying something that will get themselves into trouble, then we will start to view you as a problem as well, because of the same reason as before: The overall health of the forum comes first, and trying to stir the pot with someone like that doesn't help, it just makes it worse. Some will simply disagree with this philosophy, but if so, then so be it because ultimately we have to do what we think is best so long as it's up to us.

If you see a problem that we haven't addressed, the best and most appropriate course for a forum member to take here is to look over to the left of the post in question. See underneath that poster's name, avatar, and other info, down where there's a little triangle with an exclamation point (!) in it? Click that. That allows you to report the post to the admins so we can definitely notice it and give it a look to see what we feel we should do about it. Beyond that, obviously it's human nature sometimes to want to speak up to the poster in question who has bothered you, but we would ask that you try to refrain from doing so because quite often what happens is two or more posters all start going back and forth about the original offending post, and suddenly the entire thread is off topic or otherwise derailed. So while the urge to police it yourself is understandable, it's best to just report it to us and let us handle it. Thank you!

All of the above is going to be subject to a case by case basis, but generally and broadly speaking, this should give everyone a pretty good idea of how things will typically / most often be handled.

Rule #2

If the actions of an administrator inspire you to make a comment, criticism, or express a concern about it, there is a wrong place and a couple of right places to do so.

The wrong place is to do so in the original thread in which the administrator took action. For example, if a post gets an infraction, or a post gets deleted, or a comment within a larger post gets clipped out, in a thread discussing Paul George, the wrong thing to do is to distract from the discussion of Paul George by adding your off topic thoughts on what the administrator did.

The right places to do so are:

A) Start a thread about the specific incident you want to talk about on the Feedback board. This way you are able to express yourself in an area that doesn't throw another thread off topic, and this way others can add their two cents as well if they wish, and additionally if there's something that needs to be said by the administrators, that is where they will respond to it.

B) Send a private message to the administrators, and they can respond to you that way.

If this is done the wrong way, those comments will be deleted, and if it's a repeating problem then it may also receive an infraction as well.

Rule #3

If a poster is bothering you, and an administrator has not or will not deal with that poster to the extent that you would prefer, you have a powerful tool at your disposal, one that has recently been upgraded and is now better than ever: The ability to ignore a user.

When you ignore a user, you will unfortunately still see some hints of their existence (nothing we can do about that), however, it does the following key things:

A) Any post they make will be completely invisible as you scroll through a thread.

B) The new addition to this feature: If someone QUOTES a user you are ignoring, you do not have to read who it was, or what that poster said, unless you go out of your way to click on a link to find out who it is and what they said.

To utilize this feature, from any page on Pacers Digest, scroll to the top of the page, look to the top right where it says 'Settings' and click that. From the settings page, look to the left side of the page where it says 'My Settings', and look down from there until you see 'Edit Ignore List' and click that. From here, it will say 'Add a Member to Your List...' Beneath that, click in the text box to the right of 'User Name', type in or copy & paste the username of the poster you are ignoring, and once their name is in the box, look over to the far right and click the 'Okay' button. All done!

Rule #4

Regarding infractions, currently they carry a value of one point each, and that point will expire in 31 days. If at any point a poster is carrying three points at the same time, that poster will be suspended until the oldest of the three points expires.

Rule #5

When you share or paste content or articles from another website, you must include the URL/link back to where you found it, who wrote it, and what website it's from. Said content will be removed if this doesn't happen.

An example:

If I copy and paste an article from the Indianapolis Star website, I would post something like this:

http://www.linktothearticlegoeshere.com/article
Title of the Article
Author's Name
Indianapolis Star

Rule #6

We cannot tolerate illegal videos on Pacers Digest. This means do not share any links to them, do not mention any websites that host them or link to them, do not describe how to find them in any way, and do not ask about them. Posts doing anything of the sort will be removed, the offenders will be contacted privately, and if the problem becomes habitual, you will be suspended, and if it still persists, you will probably be banned.

The legal means of watching or listening to NBA games are NBA League Pass Broadband (for US, or for International; both cost money) and NBA Audio League Pass (which is free). Look for them on NBA.com.

Rule #7

Provocative statements in a signature, or as an avatar, or as the 'tagline' beneath a poster's username (where it says 'Member' or 'Administrator' by default, if it is not altered) are an unwanted distraction that will more than likely be removed on sight. There can be shades of gray to this, but in general this could be something political or religious that is likely going to provoke or upset people, or otherwise something that is mean-spirited at the expense of a poster, a group of people, or a population.

It may or may not go without saying, but this goes for threads and posts as well, particularly when it's not made on the off-topic board (Market Square).

We do make exceptions if we feel the content is both innocuous and unlikely to cause social problems on the forum (such as wishing someone a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter), and we also also make exceptions if such topics come up with regards to a sports figure (such as the Lance Stephenson situation bringing up discussions of domestic abuse and the law, or when Jason Collins came out as gay and how that lead to some discussion about gay rights).

However, once the discussion seems to be more/mostly about the political issues instead of the sports figure or his specific situation, the thread is usually closed.

Rule #8

We prefer self-restraint and/or modesty when making jokes or off topic comments in a sports discussion thread. They can be fun, but sometimes they derail or distract from a topic, and we don't want to see that happen. If we feel it is a problem, we will either delete or move those posts from the thread.

Rule #9

Generally speaking, we try to be a "PG-13" rated board, and we don't want to see sexual content or similarly suggestive content. Vulgarity is a more muddled issue, though again we prefer things to lean more towards "PG-13" than "R". If we feel things have gone too far, we will step in.

Rule #10

We like small signatures, not big signatures. The bigger the signature, the more likely it is an annoying or distracting signature.

Rule #11

Do not advertise anything without talking about it with the administrators first. This includes advertising with your signature, with your avatar, through private messaging, and/or by making a thread or post.
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Breaking up is so hard to do.

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  • Breaking up is so hard to do.

    Had to break it off this past weekend after two years - lived together for 9 months (that was a big mistake). Neither of us did anything wrong - it just had run its course - at least I felt it had. I'm not a young guy, but this was by far the longest relationship I've ever been in, so it has been very rough the past few days.

    Anyone want to relate their breakup stories for encouragement, funny stories, weird stories. Anything will help.

  • #2
    Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

    its been 13 months since my last somewhat serious relationship - we were together for 6 months - but every second month i tried to leave her...however i would always give in to her pleads about sticking it out and giving her a chance to change...suffice to say the final break up happened very nasty to the point where i thought i might have to get some sort of a restraining order...some people just don't understand when its over...

    good luck to a speedy recovery and welcome back to the single life

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

      Originally posted by bellisimo View Post
      its been 13 months since my last somewhat serious relationship - we were together for 6 months - but every second month i tried to leave her...however i would always give in to her pleads about sticking it out and giving her a chance to change...suffice to say the final break up happened very nasty to the point where i thought i might have to get some sort of a restraining order...some people just don't understand when its over...
      People don't change, they may improve, they may get worse, but I don't believe people truly change - they are who they are and I think it is foolish to think for one second that if we only move in together, if we only get married if we only have kids things will be different, or the thought a lot of people have that I'll stick this relationship out because I can change the other person. I believe those situation ends in breakup/divorce.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

        Man that sucks, sorry to hear that. Ending any relationship is tough but anything extended is really hard, especially when one party doesn't see it coming.

        Before I met my wife, I was with a gal for three years, and we lived together for the last 14 months of it. Everything was fine until she was fired from her job for missing work. To be fair to her she actually was sick, but she would just call in without doing it through FMLA so she would be protected and eventually missed enough time. I didn't break up with her for losing her job, in fact we were together for 4 months after that. I broke up with her because when the going got tough she wilted. She turned into a completely different person. I'd come home from work at 5pm and she'd still be in her PJ's when she was supposed to be out looking for a job. My mom called in a favor with the HR folks at a company she used to work for and she didn't even show up for the interview. I agonized over it, I didn't want to give up on her, but I knew it was a bad situation. I was talking to a friend and he hit it right on the head when he said something along the lines of "Is that really the girl you want to be with when something bad happens? Losing a job isn't even close to the worst thing that can happen and she's handling it badly. Can you really trust her to have your back and be strong for you and your family if you absolutely needed her to?". As soon as he said that it was crystal clear and I broke up with her the next day. She called me everything in the book, saying that I was leaving her when she needed me the most and that it was ME who was giving up and not her. You name it, I got called it. But after all of that it was absolutely the best thing for both of us. She got her act together and rearranged her priorities. She's now married and went back to school and has a great job as an insurance liaison at a hospital. I'm not taking credit for the hard work she put in, but I am taking credit for giving her the kick in the pants that she needed. We're not exactly friendly but have spoken on occasion and I think she'd tell you the same thing.

        I'm not saying that my situation compares to yours because I obviously know nothing of the details, but even though I knew what I had to do, it was still hard and I'm sure you're feeling something similar.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

          Thank goodness you didn't get married. I have plenty of stories, but none are appropriate for a public forum.

          Hang in there, Buck. Keep your body healthy (go to the gym) and your mind active (stay busy) and you can take a lot of the sting out of the first couple of months.
          “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

          “If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.” - Catherine Aird

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          • #6
            Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

            Originally posted by Unclebuck View Post
            People don't change, they may improve, they may get worse, but I don't believe people truly change - they are who they are

            STOP!!



            This kind of thinking will only lead to unhappiness, UB. Personal change is hard--extremely hard--but it is not at all impossible.

            I spent last week committed to a psychiatric ward in Indy. I know enough people with disorders/addiction as severe as mine (or worse) who have either totally changed and begun leading a "new life" or who are currently embroiled within serious efforts to change. It is not a futile endeavor.
            You, Never? Did the Kenosha Kid?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

              That said, I'm sorry about the breakup. Like LA said, keep your body active (keeping your body active usually leads to keeping your mind active). Focus on things you enjoy most. There are still many sources of joy available] to you in your life.
              You, Never? Did the Kenosha Kid?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

                I'm pulling for you, buck. Relationships are tough all over. It's always hard to know if what you do on a daily basis is really appreciated, and vice-versa. I've been there, it was rough.

                Let me know if you want to talk.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

                  Sorry about the breakup. There are three flames one needs for a relationship: Passion, friendship, and commitment.

                  Without those three the relationship won't last. I have ended a relationship because we were not friends. We would come together because of the commitment and be passionate, but we simply were not thrilled to be around each other because we liked being with each other.

                  The worst thing we did was artificially interject friendship, but when it is not there it is not there.

                  Again sorry to hear about your breakup.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

                    Sorry to hear the news UB, great advice from the wise posters above... all I can say from exp is... stay busy, be it work, gym, going to the movies.. stay social and time heals most breakups... that and getting back on the ol bandwagen....
                    Ya Think Ya Used Enough Dynamite there Butch...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

                      Originally posted by Major Cold View Post
                      Sorry about the breakup. There are three flames one needs for a relationship: Passion, friendship, and commitment.

                      Without those three the relationship won't last. I have ended a relationship because we were not friends. We would come together because of the commitment and be passionate, but we simply were not thrilled to be around each other because we liked being with each other.
                      That is interesting. We were great friends - no problem there at all. Still would love to be friends (don't see that happening). I guess the passion wasn't there on my end. I was willing to commit, I wanted to, but just couldn't.

                      I did the 6 month test. In 6 months what do I want. Trying to put aside the stress of breaking up and then the 2 or 3 month post breakup grieving process - but I tried to disregard that and look more long term.

                      My two fears.

                      1) Another 6 months to a year goes by and I feel the same (want to break up), but I am just taking the easy path staying together - didn't want that to happen.

                      2) On the other hand the last thing I wanted was in 6 to 9 months to look back and think me breaking it off was the worst mistake of my life, what could have been - there is nothing worse than that.

                      I am sure I made the right decision in the end. My tendency is to just keep going along the same path - don't really like conflict (LOL) so for me to come to the conclusion that I need to break it off, I know it was the right decision.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

                        Originally posted by Unclebuck View Post
                        Had to break it off this past weekend after two years - lived together for 9 months (that was a big mistake). Neither of us did anything wrong - it just had run its course - at least I felt it had. I'm not a young guy, but this was by far the longest relationship I've ever been in, so it has been very rough the past few days.

                        Anyone want to relate their breakup stories for encouragement, funny stories, weird stories. Anything will help.
                        UB, keep your head up, things will get better.

                        I just broke it off with last week as well, I had been dating this young lady for 3 years, and like you I just felt things had run its respective course. We both had faults, but with me about to graduate and other things going on I just felt it was right for us to go our separate ways.

                        Last week sucks majorly....but things have gotten better as time has progressed.

                        Keep your head up, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and at the end of the day everything will work out

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

                          Originally posted by SoupIsGood View Post
                          STOP!!



                          This kind of thinking will only lead to unhappiness, UB. Personal change is hard--extremely hard--but it is not at all impossible.

                          I spent last week committed to a psychiatric ward in Indy. I know enough people with disorders/addiction as severe as mine (or worse) who have either totally changed and begun leading a "new life" or who are currently embroiled within serious efforts to change. It is not a futile endeavor.
                          Sorry to hear that Soup. If you need anything please do not hesitate to PM me.

                          I do believe people can change, but I agree with U.B. It is extremely hard to change yourself, and you really should not have to change yourself to be happy (aka in a relationship). If you have to change yourself (aka be fake) then you are probably not with the right person.....yet

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

                            Be honest with us UB: did she think McRoberts was an allstar caliber player?
                            This is the darkest timeline.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Breaking up is so hard to do.

                              Seriously though, sorry to hear about it. It's rough for both people - regardless of whether the decision is mutual or made by one party. There is plenty of good advice and thoughts in this thread from LA and soup already. Keep your head up and watch a little Tom Thibideau defense - that'll cheer ya right up.
                              This is the darkest timeline.

                              Comment

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