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Thread: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

  1. #1
    Da Mouf Squirrelz's Avatar
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    Default Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    Twas the night before Christmas, and all through his home
    Danny Granger was stirring, racking his dome.
    "Why can't we win, with or without me?"
    He asked himself in front of his Christmas tree.

    Troy Murphy nestled, all snug in his bed,
    Forever content with losing, he lay down his head.
    Brandon Rush in his kerchief, and TJ in his cap,
    Not only in their bed, but on the court they would nap.

    When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,
    Jim O'Brien sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
    Away to the window he flew like a flash,
    Not even bothering to cover his stash.

    Twas Travis Diener, and he had demands,
    He wanted playing time, the ball in his hands.
    "I won't turn it over, anything's better than TJ."
    But Jim O'Brien insisted, for this he needed a BJ.

    "Come on Coach, I'm not that bad,"
    "I have a 3 to 1 assist to turnover ratio, and stats I can pad"
    "Tis Christmas time, a time for giving,
    "Please, please Coach, I wanna earn my living."

    Then Coach O'Brien went into a terrible fit,
    "You'll never learn!" he turned and he spit.
    TJ is my starter, at times Earl Watson,
    AJ Price is my 3rd string, you're just... a Diener.

    Travis just looked at him, sad and confused
    Travis felt useless, pathetic and used.
    When suddenly they both looked North,
    Was it really Jarrett Jack, pointing back and forth?

    "I told you Jim, but you didn't listen"
    I didn't ask for much, now my game you are missin."
    Beside him was a dinosaur, a Tyrannosaurus Rex,
    Wait no, twas Chris Bosh, sporting a Rolex.

    Jarrett looked and scoffed, again and again,
    O'Brien looked lost, much like his gameplan.
    "You weren't worth the money, you asked for too much"
    "Your energy and ruthlessness wasn't worth that much!"

    Suddenly Jim realized what he never could,
    For he is wrong, fix this team he would.
    Make a trade with Toronto, bring back the man,
    Maybe we can save this team, yet again.

    Jim got on the phone and away he dialed,
    Brian Collangelo answered, and boy he was riled.
    He was drunk as ever, Jim hadn't heard him like this before,
    Everyone knew he had a problem with drinking, but he left it at the door.

    Not his normal, merry self,
    But a spiteful old man, drunk in his wealth.
    He laughed and he laughed, he sure got a kick,
    You want Jarrett back? Come suck my d**k!

    Jim then learned what Karma was,
    He turned and he looked and there he was.
    Twas Travis Diener, grinning a grin,
    So big, so happy, so full of sin.

    Travis then laughed, in Jim's plans was a wrench,
    But damn, Travis realized - he was still on the bench.
    Back at home, still at his tree,
    Danny Granger was happy, happy as can be.

    For this team has a future, and it is bright,
    With Roy Hibbert there too, it should be a delight.
    Brandon Rush can go, that is for sure,
    Inconsistent all the way, though a trade he may lure.

    Go Danny Granger, fight the good fight.
    "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

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  3. #2

    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    Wow. That was simply awesome. Like 4 or 5 topics all in one great parody.

    "But damn, Travis realized - he was still on the bench."

    Loved it.

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  5. #3
    Da Mouf Squirrelz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    Quote Originally Posted by smj887 View Post
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    Wow. That was simply awesome. Like 4 or 5 topics all in one great parody.

    "But damn, Travis realized - he was still on the bench."

    Loved it.
    Thank you sir.

  6. #4
    Release Psycho T pwee31's Avatar
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    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    haha bravo

  7. #5
    Wasting Light Hicks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    A nice effort, but the fellatio stuff ruined the mood for me.

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    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    Troy Murphy nestled, all snug in his bed,
    Forever content with losing, he lay down his head.


    Priceless

    Good job.


    Basketball isn't played with computers, spreadsheets, and simulations. ChicagoJ 4/21/13

  10. #7
    Da Mouf Squirrelz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    Quote Originally Posted by Hicks View Post
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    A nice effort, but the fellatio stuff ruined the mood for me.
    Sorry..

    I thought they were funny though. Not over the top, just well timed humor IMO.

  11. #8

    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    Quote Originally Posted by Hicks View Post
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    A nice effort, but the fellatio stuff ruined the mood for me.
    Usually gets me in a good mood, but hey - who am I to judge ??

  12. #9
    Da Mouf Squirrelz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville


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    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    I consider Peck to be one of the best writers here, so I think it is hard to try to follow up anything that he does.

    With that said, I applaud your effort. I enjoyed reading this, even if I have not had a chance to follow the NBA as much as I would have liked this season.

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  15. #11
    Da Mouf Squirrelz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Twas the Night Before Christmas in Pacerville

    Quote Originally Posted by vapacersfan View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    I consider Peck to be one of the best writers here, so I think it is hard to try to follow up anything that he does.

    With that said, I applaud your effort. I enjoyed reading this, even if I have not had a chance to follow the NBA as much as I would have liked this season.
    cheers

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