It is blatantly obvious that the cause for all of our problems is the Pacer's towel boy. Too many times during a game I have seen him lazily offer a towel to one of our players that has came off the floor. His utter lack of enthusiasm is poisoning the Pacer's desire to win. How demoralizing it must be to give it your all on the floor and have sweat dripping off of you only to come to the bench and be offered a towel by a towel boy in the most disengaged manner as humanly possible. As soon as the cancerous, uninspired, evil towel boys are removed from our sidelines I believe you will start to see a resurgence by this team and perhaps even a deep playoff run. It should be crystal clear to Larry that the winning atmosphere is facilitated by, not the towel boys, but the unquenchable thirst for success the our mop boys display. During the briefest of moments and with the swiftness of a gazelle, our mop boys dash out onto the court and eradicate any dribbles of sweat that may have tarnished the surface of our beautiful court. Until MORE mop boys and LESS towel boys appear on our sidelines, then the Pacer's season as we know it is doomed.