There really is no comparison:
Hibbert is better than
And if you agree there’s no harm in me askin’
Don’t you think that he’ll also be better than Haskin?
Greg Dreiling? Tank Thompson? Or Stanko Barac?
I like Hibbert better—so cut me some slack!
And, though his prowess is still theoretical,
He’s making me feel just a little poetical.
Is he a star in the making—the next Patrick Ewing?
Is he ready for SportsCenter highlight reel viewing?
Is he Hakeem Olujuwan? Mike Olowokandi?
Is he an NBA stud? Or a dandy?
We really don’t know yet! It’s still the preseason,
And yet I believe there is plenty of reason
To suppose that Roy Hibbert is here to stay
A legitimate force in the NBA.
Let’s start with his wingspan—it’s seven foot four!
(Quoting Shakespeare)’Tis not so wide as church door,
But ‘tis enough.’ — Don’t tell me it ain’t
To keep all the other teams out of the paint.
Let’s look at his instincts — his b-ball IQ:
Does he know how to stand? Where to run? What to do?
Can he pass like Chief Parrish? Can he hustle like Bird?
Yeah! He learned all that stuff from John Thompson the third.
He spent four years at
— his training’s complete. Georgetown
So when somebody pump-fakes, he won’t leave his feet.
Blocking shots? Yeah, he’s got it — he’s mastered that trick.
That’s the reason his teammates have named him “Broomstick.”
He can go to the rack with his left or his right;
He can drain 10-foot hook shots night after night.
He can pass from up high (the
To a slasher who comes from the side that is weak.
He knows — when in traffic — how to clear out some space:
Just smash a big elbow in M. Ely’s face.
And then, when Melvin starts giving you ****,
You look at him, shrug, turn your back and go sit.
character, too, is an asset — that’s plain. oy's
He’s a kid with a body and also a brain.
He learned good behavior from Jesuit priests
So he’s never been charged with disturbing the peace.
He doesn’t go out in the dangerous hours
To see topless women, to drink, or carouse.
On the night of the draft, when he knew he’d been picked,
He imposed on himself a regime that was strict:
To lose weight, get stronger, and better his speed—
Three things that he knew he was going to need.
He does what he ought to without being told.
He’s a credit to all who wear blue and the gold.
There are some folks, I know, who still doubt what I’ve said—
People like croz24 and JayRedd—
Who criticize Hibbert: “He isn’t that good.”
“He’s a 17th pick, ‘f I could trade him, I would.”
I respect their opinion, I don’t want to annoy;
I agree our top bigs should be Rasho and
But (in case you can’t tell) I’m glad we got
I made 55 line, at which no one should sneeze.
Additions and comments in couplets, please.