Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 26 to 29 of 29

Thread: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

  1. #26
    Fear my small avatar Gyron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    6,366

    Default Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

    Awesome......I'm a leader....that would never happen in real life....

  2. #27
    - .-- ... ... Natston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Timbuktupolis, IN
    Age
    31
    Posts
    8,355
    Mood

    Sports Logo Sports Logo Sports Logo Sports Logo Sports Logo

    Default Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

    DR.BADD (v.o.)
    "The 'Server too busy?' thread was last thread in the feedback forum.
    Beyond that there was only Anthem."


    SUAVENESS
    "Duke Dynamite, hey Duke Dynamite. What do you think ?"

    DUKE DYNAMITE
    "It's beautiful."

    SUAVENESS
    "What's the matter with you ? You're acting
    kinda weird."

    DUKE DYNAMITE
    "Hey you know that last piece of pizza you were were saving.
    I ate it."

    SUAVENESS
    "You ate moldy pizza?"

    DUKE DYNAMITE
    "Far out."

    RASKOLNIKOV
    "Is there a Dr. Badd onboard ?

    DR.BADD
    "Yeah, who's that ?"

    RASKOLNIKOV
    "Raskolnikov, sir. Get that light off me...
    I was sent here from Club Rio with these three
    days ago, sir. Expected you here a little sooner.
    These are emails for the crew...
    You don't know how happy this makes me, sir."

    DR.BADD
    "Why ?"

    RASKOLNIKOV
    "Now I can get out of here, if I can find a way...
    You're in the ******* of the PD, doctor!"

    GYRON
    "Doctor, where you going ?"

    DR.BADD
    "I gotta find somebody - I need some information.
    Pick me up the other side of the link."

    GYRON
    "Somebody go with him."

    DUKE DYNAMITE
    "I go. I wanna go."

    Dr. Badd and Duke Dynamite enter the thread...

    DR.BADD
    "Where can I find a mod?"

    TRAVMIL
    "You came right to it, you son of a ***** !"

    DR.BADD
    "Duke Dynamite, get down here !
    You still got a moderator here ?"

    TRAVMIL
    "Straight down the page there's a ****ing
    poster called intridcold. Who the **** else
    you think he would be ?"

    BBALL
    "*******, you skipped over my post!"

    DUKE DYNAMITE
    "I thought it had already been read."

    REXNOM (firing wildly his ban hammer)
    "I told you to stop ****ing with me ! You think you're bad..."

    DR.BADD
    "What are you aiming at poster?"

    REXNOM
    "Counters. What the **** you think I'm aiming at...
    I'm sorry, sir... There are counters by the thread. But I
    think I banned them all."

    INDY
    "You ain't banned ****, man. Listen !"

    REXNOM
    "Oh ****, he's trying to count his numbers. Send in a .
    You think you're bad..."

    INDY
    "There's one still beneath those posts."

    DR.BADD
    "Who's the mod here ?"

    INDY
    "Ain't you ?
    You think you're bad...
    Go get Ajbry, man ! Get Ajbry !"

    BBALL

    "He's down at the bottom of the first page. You need a [/QUOTE]?"

    AJBRY
    "No. He's close, man. He's real close...
    Mother****er."

    DR.BADD
    "Hey, poster. Do you know who's in
    command here?"

    AJBRY
    "Yeah...."

    ---------

    LORD HELMET
    "**** ! Hey Gyron, man. Two guys just got banned out from
    that thread."

    GYRON
    "You hang on man. You're gonna be OK."

    LORD HELMET
    "What's that ?"

    SUAVENESS
    "E-mail, man."

    GYRON
    "Later with that e-mail. Watch them red-orange envelopes."

    DR.BADD
    "There's no bandwidth but I pick up some smilies.
    Let's move out."

    GYRON
    "Did you find a mod, doctor?"

    DR.BADD
    "There's no ****ing mod here. Let's just
    get going."

    GYRON
    "Which link, doctor?"

    DR.BADD
    "You know which link, Gyron."

    GYRON
    "You're on your own, doctor. You wanna go on ?
    Like this thread: We post in it every night. Counters
    shut the servers down again. Just so the mods can
    say the board's open. Think about it. Who cares ?"

    DR.BADD
    "Just get in that thread !"

    GYRON
    "Suaveness, change your outdated sig. Lord Helmet, you too."

    The journey continues. Suaveness hands out the email :


    SUAVENESS
    "****, you got another one Lord Helmet."

    LORD HELMET
    "No ****, is that it ?"

    SUAVENESS
    "That's it for you. Duke Dynamite, Mr Pillowpants, there
    you go.."

    DUKE DYNAMITE
    "Far out, man. I've been waiting for this.

    SUAVENESS

    "I got another one, got a box from Stacy Paetz."

    DUKE DYNAMITE (reading)
    "Duke Dynamite, I'm fine. I was on a trip to Conseco Fieldhouse. There can
    never be a place like Conseco Fieldhouse, or could there ? Let me
    know -

    DR.BADD (reading, v.o.)
    "There has been a new development regarding your mission
    which we must now communicate to you. Months ago a man
    was ordered on a mission which was identical to yours. We
    have reason to believe that he is now operating with Anthem.
    Pacers Digest was carrying his mood as Pensive for his family's sake. They
    assumed he was inactive. Then they intercepted a private message he
    tried to send to the girl he was stalking:

    SELL THE TOPHAT
    SELL THE MOVIE RIPOFFS
    SELL THE UNRATED COPY OF ANCHORMAN
    FIND SOMEONE ELSE
    FORGET IT
    I'M NEVER CLICKING BACK
    FORGET IT

    Poster NaturallyStoned - he was with Anthem."


    DUKE DYNAMITE
    "Conseco Fieldhouse. ****, man, this is better than Conseco Fieldhouse."


    Suaveness reads a website :

    SUAVENESS
    "Yo peep this sons. This site is of adult content. If you are under the age of 18 and live with your
    parents you probably should not be viewing this. If you're at work, don't press play. This will scar you. By the way, we are the original 2girls1cup so don't fall for other sites.."


    LORD HELMET
    "I got a audio clip from my mom."

    SUAVENESS
    "Stacy can't picture me in PD. She pictures me at home
    having a beer and watching the her on tv...
    Stacy is not sure if she can have a relationship with me, you
    know. Here I am 13000 ****ing websites away trying to keep our
    relationship over my ***."


    Suddenly the group comes under an attack.
    Lord Helmet gets his name clicked on...


    GYRON
    "Suaveness, check out Lord Helmet ! Doctor, he´s hit, he´s hit !
    Lord Helmet's hit !"

    DUKE DYNAMITE

    "Where did the picture of Megan go ? We gotta go back to
    get the picture!"

    We hear the end of the clip Lord Helmet was listening to :

    AUDIO CLIP
    "... do the right thing. Stay out of the way of the spyware.
    And bring your tower home all in one piece. Because
    we love you. Love, Mama."



    The journey continues in thick layer spam…


    GYRON
    "Can't see nothing. We're stopping."

    DR.BADD
    "You're not authorized to minimize this browser, Gyron."

    GYRON

    "I said I can't see a thing, captain. I'm minimizing. Ain't risking no more accounts."

    DR.BADD
    "I'm in command here, ******* it ! You
    do what i say."

    GYRON
    "You see anything Suaveness ?"

    SUAVENESS
    "Why don't those ****s attack, man ?
    Watch it over here, Gyron..."

    DR.BADD (v.o.)
    "He was close. He was real close. I could not see him
    yet but I could feel him. As of this window was being sucked down
    board and the cursor was sliding back over to the other links. Whatever
    was going to happen, it was not going to be the way they
    called it in Club Rio."


    They come under attack again...


    DR.BADD
    "Suaveness, it's OK. Quit posting !"

    DUKE DYNAMITE
    "Cut it out ! Quiet !"

    DR.BADD
    "Gyron, tell them to hold fire. It's just little quick replies.
    They're just trying to scare us."

    GYRON
    "You got us into this mess and you can't get us out 'cos
    you don't know where the hell you're going, do you ?
    Do you, you son of a *****, you **** !"

    Gyron is hit by a flaming post.


    GYRON
    "A flamer."

    Gyron's account deactivates...

    ---------

    DR.BADD
    "My mission is to make it up into the 'Ignore this thread' thread. There's a
    poster in there who's gone insane. I'm
    supposed to ban him."

    SUAVENESS
    "That's ****ing typical, ****. ****ing PD mission.
    We got to go up there so you can ban one of our own guys.
    That's ****ing great, that's just ****ing great ! That's
    ****ing crazy. I thought you were going in there to ask a question, or post some ideas or something."

    DR.BADD
    "Sorry..."

    SUAVENESS
    "No, no wait. We go together. On this browser, we'll
    go with you. On this browser. OK ?"


    Again they move on, but now it's only Dr. Badd,
    Suaveness and Duke Dynamite :


    DR.BADD (v.o.)
    "Part of me was afraid of what I would find and what I would
    do when I got there. I knew the risks, or imagined I knew.
    But the thing I felt the most, much stronger than
    fear, was the desire to unignore him.


    Finally they arrive at Anthem's thread...


    JAY REDD

    "It's all right, it's all right. You're all being approved."

    SUAVENESS

    "Ain't coming in there. Them *******s attacked us."

    JAY REDD
    "Sound the siren...
    There's googled pictures over there, there's googled pictures over there, and watch
    out those ******* jokes suck, I'll tell ya. Eh, that's a pretty one.
    Move in right in towards me... I´m a Digester! Yeah, Digest poster
    Hi guys... Digester, Digest poster. It's all right.
    And you got the Megan Fox avatars, that's what I've been dreaming of."

    DR.BADD
    "Who are you ?"

    JAY REDD
    "Who are you ... ?
    I'm Jay Redd. I've posted on this board since 06.
    I'm the most Humorous poster. I´ll tell you
    one thing, this board is a mess, man."

    DR.BADD
    "Who are all these posters?"

    JAY REDD
    "Yeah, well... They think you have come to take his posting privileges
    away. I hope that isn't true."

    DR.BADD
    "Take whose privileges away?"

    JAY REDD
    "Him. Anthem. These are all his children, as far
    as you can see."

    DR.BADD
    "Could we, uh, chat with Anthem?"

    JAY REDD
    "Hey, man, you don't chat with him. You read his words. The
    man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic
    sense. I mean sometimes he'll, uh, well, you'll say QFT
    him, right? And he'll just scroll right by you, and he won't even
    read your post. And suddenly he'll scroll up, and he'll quote you,
    and he'll say do you know that ‘if’ is the middle
    word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are
    losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when
    all men doubt you -- I mean I'm no, I can't -- I'm a little man, I'm a little
    man, he's, he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws
    scuttling across floors of silent seas -- I mean --"

    DR.BADD
    "Stay with the browser."

    JAY REDD
    "Hey, uh, don't go -- don't go without me, OK? I want to get a screen shot."

    He can be terrible, he can be mean, he can be right. He's fighting
    for the board. He's a great man. I mean... I wish I had posts. I can tell
    you the other day he wanted to ban me."

    DR.BADD
    "Why did he want to ban you ?"

    JAY REDD
    "Because I took a screenshot of his computer screen. He said if I take his screenshot again -
    I'm gonna ban you. And he meant it ! So you just lay it cool, lay
    back, dig it... He gets friendly again, really does. But you don't
    judge him like an ordinary poster.

    OK, now watch it. They are digesters.
    Can you feel the vibe of this place ? Let me take a screenshot.
    Hey, hello... hello. Would you hold it for a minute."

    Dr. Badd sees a group of posters:

    DR.BADD

    "Naturallystoned."

    JAY REDD
    "The accounts. You're looking at the accounts. I, uh -- sometimes he
    goes too far, you know -- he's the first one to admit it!"

    SUAVENESS
    "He's gone crazy!"

    JAY REDD
    "Wrong! Wrong! If you could have read the man’s blog, just two days ago,
    if you could have read the man’s blog! You going to call him crazy?"

    SUAVENESS

    "****ing A!"

    DR.BADD
    "I just want to chat with him."

    JAY REDD
    "Well man, he's gone away. He's gone away. He disappeared
    into the 'Ignore this thread' thread with his people..."

    DR.BADD
    "I'll wait for him."

    JAY REDD
    "... he feels comfortable with his people. He forgets him
    with his people. He forgets himself..."

    SUAVENESS
    "Doctor, maybe we should wait back at the browser."

    DR.BADD
    "Ok Suaveness. We'll go back to the browser for a while."

    SUAVENESS
    "Stay with Duke Dynamite."

    Dr. Badd and Suaveness return to the browser :

    SUAVENESS
    "This Anthem guy - he's wacko, man. He's worse than a herb.
    He's evil. I mean... what the man has set up here is ****ing
    Online nazism . Look around. ****, he's loco."

    DR.BADD

    "Then you'll help me."

    SUAVENESS

    "Help you ? ****ing A. I'll help you. I'll do anything to get out of
    this thread. We could ban all the ******** away. They're all so
    spaced out they wouldn't even know it. I'm not afraid of those
    ****ing avatars, and signatures and ****. I used to think if I posted in an
    evil thread then my words wouldn't be read. Well, ****.
    I don't care where it's posted as long it ain't here. So, what you
    wanna do ? I'll ban the **** ..."

    DR.BADD
    "No, no. I'm gonna need you right here, Suaveness. I'll go up with Duke Dynamite,
    scrounge around, check the thread out, see if I can find Anthem."

    SUAVENESS
    "What you want me to do ?"

    DR.BADD

    "Here, take the report post button. If I don't get back by 2200 hours,
    you call in the thread deletion."

    SUAVENESS
    "Thread deletion?"

    DR.BADD
    "The code is Cheese Wiz, coordinates 11213373.. It's
    all in here."


    Dr. Badd and Duke Dynamite leave the browser:

    DR.BADD (v.o.)
    "Everything I saw told me that Anthem has gone
    insane. The place was full of inactive accounts: Counters, Trolls, Flamers.
    If I still had a active account, it was because he wanted me to have it."


    Suddenly Dr. Badd is surrounded by a group of Anthem's
    minions…

    DR.BADD (v.o.)
    "It smelled like dead threads in there, recycled pictures,
    Movie ripoffs. This was the end of the Digest alright."


    ANTHEM
    Have you ever considered any real freedoms ? Freedoms -
    from the opinions of others... Even the opinions of yourself.
    They say why..., Dr. Badd, why they wanted to terminate my
    account ?"

    DR.BADD
    "I was sent on a classified mission, sir."

    ANTHEM
    "Ain't no longer classified, is it?
    What did they tell you ?"

    DR.BADD
    " They told me that you had gone totally insane and that your
    posts were unsound."

    ANTHEM
    " Are my posts unsound?"

    DR.BADD
    " I don't see any posts at all, sir."

    ANTHEM
    " I expected someone like you. What did you expect?"

    Dr. Badd only shakes his mouse:


    ANTHEM
    " Are you an mod?"

    DR.BADD
    " I'm a regular member."

    ANTHEM
    " You're neither. You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks
    to collect a bill."


    Dr. Badd is then put in a locked thread. Later Jay Redd comes
    to visit him and offers some obscure cultural references and Powerthirst videos:


    JAY REDD
    "Why ? Why would a nice guy like you wanna ban a genius ?
    You know that the man really likes you. He likes you, he
    really likes you. He's got something in mind for you. Aren't
    you curious about that ? I'm curious, I'm very curious. You
    curious ?There's something happening out there, man.
    You know something, man, I know something that you don't
    know. That's right, jack. The man is clear in his mind, but his
    soul is mad . Oh yeah. He's dying, I think. He hates all
    this, he hates it! But ... the man's ... uh ... he reads poetry out
    loud, alright? ... And a voice! A voice. ... He likes you because
    you're still alive. He's got plans for you. Nah, nah, I'm not
    going to help you, you're going to help him, man. You're going
    to help him. I mean, what are they going to say, man, when he's
    gone, huh? Because he dies, when it dies, man, when it
    dies, he dies. What are they going to say about him? What, are
    they going to say, he was a kind man, he was a wise man, he had
    plans, he had wisdom? Bullsh-t, man! Am I going to be the one,
    that's going to set them straight? Look at me: wrong! ... You!"


    It's evening, Suaveness is sleeping:

    SUAVENESS
    "Almost eight hours... I sleep and I dream I'm in this
    ****ty thread. **** - is it been eight hours."

    Suaveness goes to the report thread button:

    SUAVENESS
    "Hello Roaming Gnome, Roaming Gnome, this is Suaveness -
    button check, over."

    ROAMING GNOME
    "Suaveness, this is Roaming Gnome, standing by, over."


    Dr. Badd sits in his locked thread. Anthem comes to
    visit him and coldly drops Suaveness's deactivated account in Dr. Badd's lap:

    DR.BADD
    "No ! No, oh Christ..."

    Anthem sits in the thread and reads Kester99's poem
    Bored in the Gourd:


    ANTHEM


    Well, I’m bored in the gourd.
    Said I’m bored, bored, bored.
    Gonna take a taxi
    To the ‘mergency ward.

    Gotta case of lassitude,
    Gotta case of blue.
    Just don’t care ‘bout nothin’
    Since I cared about you.

    A beer over here!
    Make it fast, fast, fast.
    Gotta get on home
    And cut the damn grass.

    Gotta case of platitudes
    And all of them are true.
    Just don’t care ‘bout nothin’
    Since I cared about you.

    And I’m dead in the head.
    Said I’m dead, dead, dead.
    Gonna go back out to my house
    and crawl on into bed.

    Gotta case of assitude.
    Gotta case of blues.
    Just don’t care ‘bout nothin’
    Since I cared about you.


    JAY REDD

    "This is the way the ****ing world ends! Look at this ****ing ****
    we're in, man! Not with a bang, with a whimper. And with a whimper,
    I'm ****ing splitting, jack!"

    Jay leaves...

    DR.BADD (v.o.)
    "On the way here, I thought that the minute I looked at him, I'd know what
    to do, but it didn't happen. I was in there with him for days, not under
    guard - I was free - but he knew I wasn't going anywhere. He knew
    more about what I was going to do than I did. If the mods back in
    Club Rio could see what I saw, would they still want me to ban him?
    More than ever probably. And what would his people back home want if
    they ever learned just how far from them he'd really gone? He ignored them,
    and then he ignored himself. I'd never seen a man so
    ignored up and ripped apart..."


    ANTHEM
    " I've seen ignoring... ignoring that you've seen. But you have no right to call
    me an egoist. You have a right to ban me. You have a right to do that...But
    you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is
    necessary to those who do not know what ignore means.
    Ignore. Ignoring has a face...And you must make a friend of ignoring. Ignoring and
    elitism your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared.
    They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with the main board...Seems
    a thousand centuries ago... We went into a thread started by this Earl guy. He stated
    that he was a war veteran. He claimed that he was going to take his grandkids out for ice cream and then decided not to. His response was that, “That’s how I live my life, Let’s just move on’.
    And I remember...I...I...I cried...
    I wept like some guy who laughed at something funny on the internet.
    I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it.
    I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized...like I was shot...Like I was shot with a diamond...a diamond bullet right through my forehead...And I thought:
    My God...the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect,
    genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were
    stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not
    monsters...These were men...trained trolls...these men who fought with
    their hearts, who had families, who had fake grandchildren, who were filled with
    love...but they had the strength...the strength...to do that. If I had ten
    divisions of those posters our troubles here would be over very quickly. You
    have to have men who are rational posters...and at the same time who are able to
    utilize their flamer instincts to post without feeling...without fear of banishment...
    without honesty...without honesty. Because it's honesty that
    defeats us. "

    "I worry that my child might not understand what I've tried to be.
    And if I were to be banned, Dr. Badd, I would want someone to go
    to my gmail account and email my child everything. Everything I did, everything
    you saw... Because there is nothing I detest more than the stench
    of lies. And if you understand me, Dr. Badd, you'll do this for me."


    Evening. Anthem' minions are preparing for
    a party.. Dr. Badd leaves and starts going to Anthem'
    account with a banhammer…


    DR.BADD (v.o.)
    "They were going to make me a mod for this and I wasn't even in their
    ****ing board any more. Everybody wanted me to do it, him most of all. I
    felt like he was up there, waiting for me to take the profile away. He just
    wanted to go out like a real Pacer fan, standing up, not like some poor, wasted,
    rag-assed renegade. Even the internet wanted him banned, and that's who
    he really took his orders from anyway. "



    Anthem is posting in the thread…


    ANTHEM (typing)
    " Holy cow... we've dropped 7 spots in Google. Clearly, too few people are ignoring this thread. "


    Dr. Badd deactivates Anthem with a ban hammer, simultaneous the other posters
    sacrifice a troll and ban it...

    Anthem is typing out his final words :

    ANTHEM
    "The Ignorers. The Ignorers..."


    Dr. Badd finds Anthem' s post where he has typed :


    "Delete the thread. Ban them all."

    Dr. Badd leaves the thread while the posters bow down. He drops the
    ban hammer and so do the followers. Dr. Badd grabs Duke Dynamite along and
    they go to the browser.



    ROAMING GNOME
    "Suaveness, this is Roaming Gnome, standing by, over."


    Dr. Badd moves the arrow away from the ‘report post’ button. The journey back to the Pacers forum starts...
    * Most Humorous Poster Nominee (2004, 2005, 2010)
    * Off Topic Post of the Year Winner (2009)
    * Off Topic Thread of the Year Nominee (2010)


    Formerly a naturallystoned, badinfluence...

  3. #28
    Fear my small avatar Gyron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    6,366

    Default Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

    Damn, I got killed......

  4. #29
    woman without a team
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    7,055

    Default Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

    I really need a Cliff Notes version.

Similar Threads

  1. What movie did you last watch?
    By Hicks in forum Market Square (General Non-Sports Discussion)
    Replies: 8662
    Last Post: 10-25-2014, 01:10 AM
  2. Ignore this thread
    By Anthem in forum Feedback
    Replies: 1240
    Last Post: 07-28-2013, 06:27 PM
  3. Official "I Am Legend" discussion thread (SPOILERS GALORE, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!)
    By heywoode in forum Market Square (General Non-Sports Discussion)
    Replies: 85
    Last Post: 03-07-2008, 09:58 AM
  4. A thread for the disenfranchised Pacers fans....
    By Peck in forum Indiana Pacers
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 02-20-2008, 04:37 PM
  5. The Big Plus-Minus thread
    By Naptown_Seth in forum Indiana Pacers
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: 12-31-2007, 10:10 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •