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Thread: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

  1. #1076
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    If they ever do come out with some sort of sneeze-yawn-orgasm dope, I'm gonna manage it in an environmentally sound way.

    Condoms are made out of rubber which are oil-based. In order to help keep fuel prices down, I'll go medieval:

    In days of old
    when Knights were bold
    and rubbers weren't invented

    They wrapped their socks
    around their (insert term for male chicken here)
    and babies were prevented
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  2. #1077

    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Every time you sneezegasm, God kills a kitten.

  3. #1078
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Kills a kitten?... well hell, bring me a bowl of ragweed and a pollen sandwich pilgrim.

    We've got some cats to crush.

  4. #1079
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    I was driving down the road this morning and I swear to God 3 lbs of goose s%^# or something hit my windshield.

    Right in the middle too in front of me. Thank God I wasn't at freeway speed.

    Unreal.

    I didn't know they could do that crap and fly at the same time.

  5. #1080
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    There's a reason for the term *&#@ through a goose.

    It's also a reason why pond owners shouldn't mow the banks but they do.
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  6. #1081
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Twes View Post
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    I was driving down the road this morning and I swear to God 3 lbs of goose s%^# or something hit my windshield.

    Right in the middle too in front of me. Thank God I wasn't at freeway speed.

    Unreal.

    I didn't know they could do that crap and fly at the same time.

    I'm about 80 yrds off a 6 acre pond. You don't want to walk out in my yard early in the AM. I swear they are practicing to be attack Geese in Iraq. They come over every morning for a strafing run, circle around and attack a house on the south side of the pond.


    DK is right about leaving the long stuff at ponds edge, they don't like to walk up through it...fear of snakes or coyotes or something (they may be fearful of being mistaken for a drifter).
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  7. #1082
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    Quote Originally Posted by indygeezer View Post
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    I'm about 80 yrds off a 6 acre pond. You don't want to walk out in my yard early in the AM. I swear they are practicing to be attack Geese in Iraq. They come over every morning for a strafing run, circle around and attack a house on the south side of the pond.


    DK is right about leaving the long stuff at ponds edge, they don't like to walk up through it...fear of snakes or coyotes or something (they may be fearful of being mistaken for a drifter).
    Last week I'm driving down a backroad and this mother goose is crossing the road with some fairly large goslings. Just sauntering by taking their time with this attitude thing going on.

    I slow up just because I'm tired of picking carcasses out of my grill. This goose whips around and starts coming at the car like she's the ultimate badass.

    I mean I get why a wolverine acts tough. They're small but they've got some weapons to run with and they're full of heart.

    But a flocking goose? Do they even have teeth?

    They certainly don't have many brains.
    Last edited by Twes; 06-12-2008 at 08:35 AM.

  8. #1083
    teY dennaB toN
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Last time I was driving from Indy down south, there was a goose waddling along the median on 465 during rush hour.

    Must have had a death wish.

  9. #1084
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Spicoli View Post
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    Last time I was driving from Indy down south, there was a goose waddling along the median on 465 during rush hour.

    Must have had a death wish.
    They definitely have a distorted sense of their capabilities.

    If at some time the species is wiped out they have only themselves to blame.

  10. #1085
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Twes View Post
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    Last week I'm driving down a backroad and this mother goose is crossing the road with some fairly large goslings. Just sauntering by taking their time with this attitude thing going on.

    I slow up just because I'm tired of picking carcasses out of my grill. This goose whips around and starts coming at the car like she's the ultimate badass.

    I mean I get why a wolverine acts tough. They're small but they've got some weapons to run with and they're full of heart.

    But a flocking goose? Do they even have teeth?

    They certainly don't have many brains.
    Never been bitten by one of those buggers have you. The somnabeeches HURT. And they keep coming at ya, and they form a gang to keep the pressure up.
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  11. #1086
    #PacerNation 317Kim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    I was bitten by one when I was about 5 or 6. That was the thanks that I got for feeding them bread.

    Sucked.

  12. #1087
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by indygeezer View Post
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    Never been bitten by one of those buggers have you. The somnabeeches HURT. And they keep coming at ya, and they form a gang to keep the pressure up.
    In my experience if you grab them by the head and give them a few 360's they really lose their steam.

    The drop kick method can be effective as well.

    Of course if you don't like those the machete method can provide hours of pondside fun.
    Last edited by Twes; 06-12-2008 at 10:19 AM.

  13. #1088

    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts


  14. #1089
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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  15. #1090
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Twes View Post
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    They definitely have a distorted sense of their capabilities.

    If at some time the species is wiped out they have only themselves to blame.
    This has happened to me twice - once in TX and once in NY.

    Hauling horses late at night right after a thunderstorm ends and there right in the middle of the road, playing in the water is a goose.

    He turns toward me, puffs himself up as big as he can, flaps his wings, raises his head and squawks. It was identical each time - some sort of threat response I guess.

    There's something hilarious about seeing a few feathers float over the hood of your truck as you hear/feel the goose thumping through your undercarriage. In TX that time I had a guy with me and he turns and says, "He just had time to get off his farewell to the world."

    If I'm hauling horses it better be people on the road before I slam on the brakes.
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  16. #1091
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by indygeezer View Post
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    DK is right about leaving the long stuff at ponds edge, they don't like to walk up through it...fear of snakes or coyotes or something (they may be fearful of being mistaken for a drifter).
    Or Spicoli passed out after an evening of culinary delight followed by beer.
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  17. #1092
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Twes View Post
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    In my experience if you grab them by the head and give them a few 360's they really lose their steam.

    The drop kick method can be effective as well.

    Of course if you don't like those the machete method can provide hours of pondside fun.
    Until DNR catches you - I have no idea why they're protected.
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  18. #1093
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by DisplacedKnick View Post
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    This has happened to me twice - once in TX and once in NY.

    Hauling horses late at night right after a thunderstorm ends and there right in the middle of the road, playing in the water is a goose.

    He turns toward me, puffs himself up as big as he can, flaps his wings, raises his head and squawks. It was identical each time - some sort of threat response I guess.

    There's something hilarious about seeing a few feathers float over the hood of your truck as you hear/feel the goose thumping through your undercarriage. In TX that time I had a guy with me and he turns and says, "He just had time to get off his farewell to the world."

    If I'm hauling horses it better be people on the road before I slam on the brakes.
    That's a great story.

    By people you mean, non ******** right.

    The only critters that seem to have the timing even more perfected are the racoons.

    The whole freaking family runs out under your tires with those things.

  19. #1094
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Twes View Post
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    By people you mean, non ******** right.

    The only critters that seem to have the time even more perfected is the racoon.

    The whole freaking family runs out under your tires with those things.
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To show the possum it could be done
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  20. #1095
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    I think my late grandmother with a walker could pass on the outside a possum hauling ***

    Something about a possum hauling *** that makes you laugh

  21. #1096

    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    If I could be anything, I would be a can opener.

  22. #1097
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by btowncolt View Post
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    If I could be anything, I would be a can opener.
    I'd be a US AMerican working for world Peace and fixing blind kids

  23. #1098

    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Oh.

    Uh...

    I'll think of something else then.

  24. #1099
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by btowncolt View Post
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    Oh.

    Uh...

    I'll think of something else then.
    A can opener is good.

    Really.

  25. #1100
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    What does that mean when you have dreams that you can fly but all through the dream you are having a hell of a time getting off the ground and everyone is chasing you and they finally get you and beat your head in with a shovel.

    But you're not really dead and you one by one hunt them down and torture them to death.

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