If they ever do come out with some sort of sneeze-yawn-orgasm dope, I'm gonna manage it in an environmentally sound way.
Condoms are made out of rubber which are oil-based. In order to help keep fuel prices down, I'll go medieval:
In days of old
when Knights were bold
and rubbers weren't invented
They wrapped their socks
around their (insert term for male chicken here)
and babies were prevented