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Thread: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

  1. #1051
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    I can't (yawn) wake up.

  2. #1052
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Twes View Post
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    I can't (yawn) wake up.
    That's what happens after you make it with an orangutan.

    Or so I've heard.
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  3. #1053
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    I read recently that sex (or masturbation) can cause a massive release of histamine thus causing "sneezing fits".

    I coulda saved a fortune on Allegra if I'd known this years ago.
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  4. #1054
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Maybe I need some of that Pepsi Ginsing Max crap from the commercials.

    Or maybe they are drugging me in the drinking water to prevent me from teaching the truth.

    Or maybe, maybe...

    maybe....

    Oh flock it.

    I think Stuart Scotts eyeball is really strange.


  5. #1055
    Fear my small avatar Gyron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    There was some drug they were testing a couple years ago, that when people sneezed it caused them to orgasm. The guys in the study had to wear condoms all the time because of the "mess".

    It was also reported some of the participants were causing themselves to sneeze on purpose when they figured it out.......

    Now that's a pill everyone needs.....

  6. #1056
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Gyron View Post
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    There was some drug they were testing a couple years ago, that when people sneezed it caused them to orgasm. The guys in the study had to wear condoms all the time because of the "mess".
    How in the world can you manage that with no prep?

    If Mr Happy is face down he can still puke?
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  7. #1057
    Fear my small avatar Gyron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    I have no idea, but I remember them talking about it on bob and tom. And them laughing at guys trying to keep a condom on when not prepared.....

    And apparently, he can, even when face down.

    They were also laughing, saying the women were probably buying pepper by the case.

  8. #1058
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Gyron View Post
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    I have no idea, but I remember them talking about it on bob and tom. And them laughing at guys trying to keep a condom on when not prepared.....

    And apparently, he can, even when face down.

    They were also laughing, saying the women were probably buying pepper by the case.
    When I sneeze I tend to have 3 in a row - not sure how that would work.
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  9. #1059
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Well, being who I am I had to do a little research (good thing nobody watches our internet use around here).

    Found this: http://www.health.com/health/conditi...190173,00.html
    The poster formerly known as Rimfire

  10. #1060
    International Counter bellisimo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by DisplacedKnick View Post
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    Well, being who I am I had to do a little research (good thing nobody watches our internet use around here).

    Found this: http://www.health.com/health/conditi...190173,00.html
    i do experience the migraine bit every once in a while...hurts like hell

  11. #1061
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    If researchers conclude that Viagra enhances athletic performance, the World Anti-Doping Agency could add the prescription medication to the list of prohibited substances in Olympic sports.
    Don Catlin, founder of Anti-Doping Research in Southern California, has been raising questions about Viagra's use in sports for years.
    "It's a complicated drug," he said. "If you go through the basic pharmacology and stretch your imagination, you could end up saying, 'Yeah, maybe it could be useful for athletes who are competing in endurance sports at high altitude.'"
    http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8228928

  12. #1062
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Gyron View Post
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    They were also laughing, saying the women were probably buying pepper by the case.
    Lesbians?

    Otherwise they would be cheating themselves.

  13. #1063
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Gyron View Post
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    There was some drug they were testing a couple years ago, that when people sneezed it caused them to orgasm. The guys in the study had to wear condoms all the time because of the "mess".

    It was also reported some of the participants were causing themselves to sneeze on purpose when they figured it out.......

    Now that's a pill everyone needs.....
    I'm curious how that would be marketed.

    Blowwaddra. the new allergy relief.

  14. #1064
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    That offers a whole new definition to "performance enhancing drug".


    What 20 something jock would risk being banned for using Viagra. I mean if you claimed to be using it for what it was really meant for ....
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  15. #1065
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    UH-oh.............ban deer hunting in Italy. We got one for the endangerd species list. Wouldn't wanna eradicate them.

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,365629,00.html
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  16. #1066

    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Gyron View Post
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    There was some drug they were testing a couple years ago, that when people sneezed it caused them to orgasm. The guys in the study had to wear condoms all the time because of the "mess".

    It was also reported some of the participants were causing themselves to sneeze on purpose when they figured it out.......

    Now that's a pill everyone needs.....

  17. #1067
    Fear my small avatar Gyron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    IndyGeezer joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area, a gorgeous, petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?' IndyGeezer replied, 'no, what do yo u mean?' She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain.
    'It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel, eagerly pulled Geezer to her and happily let him have his way with her.

    Later, Indygeezer continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds, a huge, hairy man named Btown lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me?' asked Btown.'No, what do you mean?' asked the newcomer.'You must be new,' answered Btown.

    'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with Geezer. Geezer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.'

    'Here's my membership card, you can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.''But Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours.' 'You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'>>

    'Listen lady,' Geezer replied, 'I'm 73 years old.' 'I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day.''I'm outta here!'
    Last edited by Gyron; 06-11-2008 at 02:10 PM.

  18. #1068
    Fear my small avatar Gyron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose.

    'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see 'That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake. 'To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?''


    Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny. 'I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.' So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, 'Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!' The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough.

    But by the way, what kind of animal are you? The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, 'Well, what kind of an animal am I?'


    The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, 'You're cold, you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls...You must be a POLITICIAN.

  19. #1069

    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    I pulled the same thing on someone in a bunny-type outfit once. Story ended differently.

  20. #1070
    dennaB Twes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Rabbits do like to .....

    Hop

  21. #1071
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by btowncolt View Post
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    I pulled the same thing on someone in a bunny-type outfit once. Story ended differently.

    Got egg on yer face huh?
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  22. #1072
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    My grandpa used to keep a couple of beagles for rabbit hunting. I wonder if anyone does that anymore???
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  23. #1073

    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Not egg. Or on my face.

    Anyhoo, everyone learned a valuable lesson about why kangaroos can't be trusted.

  24. #1074
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Dadburn woman decided that "WE" are on the South Beach diet.
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

  25. #1075
    Tree People to the Core! indygeezer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Random, Scattered Disturbed Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by btowncolt View Post
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    Not egg. Or on my face.

    Anyhoo, everyone learned a valuable lesson about why kangaroos can't be trusted.


    um...dare I ask what you were hiding in your pocket?
    If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

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