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Thread: Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

  1. #1
    Member McClintic Sphere's Avatar
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    Default Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

    Funny. Very funny.
    http://www.18to88.com/Articles/starwars2007.htm


    Predicted NFL Standings for 2007
    8-22-2007
    We asked ourselves, "How should we present our predictions for the season?" Using Star Wars characters was the obvious answer. Actually, Star Wars is the answer to most important questions.



    Prediction
    AFC EAST
    Star Wars Character
    New England 12 - 4
    Emperor Palpatine Keeps Darth Vader (below) on a tight leash. Used to be terrifying, but now is just old and wrinkled.
    New York 10 - 6
    Darth Maul The threatening apprentice. Knows what he's doing, but will still end up sliced in half at the bottom of a reactor shaft.
    Buffalo 6 - 10
    Biggs He was right there until the end, then he blew up.

    Miami
    5 - 11
    Jar Jar Bumbling moron.



    Prediction
    AFC NORTH
    Star Wars Character
    Baltimore12 - 4
    The Death Star Incredible defense against a large scale attack, but has a tendency to implode.
    Pittsburgh10 - 6
    Sebulba Wins a lot of pod races, but has been known to cheat. The shot at another title was undone by an ugly crash.

    Cincinnati10 - 6
    Crix Nadine Imprisoned, but he broke out just in time to lead a major offensive.
    Cleveland
    3 - 13
    Jawas They are small, brown, and constantly trading for junk.



    Prediction
    AFC SOUTH
    Star Wars Character
    Colts
    12 - 4
    Luke Skywalker You aren't sure he is going to get it done in the end, but you can't imagine the story ending any other way.
    Jaguars 10 - 6
    Salacious Crumb Sort of menacing at first glance, but easily defeated by lesser heroes.
    Houston 6 - 10
    Bantha Slow moving herd animals who are easily mastered.
    Tennessee 6 - 10
    Admiral Piett Competent leadership that is constantly failed by its underlings.



    Prediction
    AFC WEST
    Star Wars Character
    Chargers 14 - 2
    Darth Vader Very frightening, but never lived up to its incredible potential.
    Denver 9 - 7
    Admiral Ackbar A brilliant strategist who always seems to fall into traps.
    Kansas City 6 - 10
    Taun Taun You have to be careful because they'll let you ride them to death.
    Oakland 3 - 13
    Storm troopers They may look tough, but they aren't.



    Prediction
    NFC EAST
    Star Wars Character
    Dallas 11 - 5
    Young Obi-Wan Has talented protégées, but it all could go horribly wrong.
    Philadelphia 10 - 6
    Mace Windu Nearly defeated the Emperor. (Also McNabb would look badass wielding a purple lightsaber.)
    New York 8 - 8
    Princess Leia Sibling of the chosen one.
    Washington
    7 - 9
    Jabba Rich and bloated.



    Prediction
    NFC NORTH
    Star Wars Character
    Chicago 12 - 4
    Anakin Brash and talented, but has no arm.
    Minnesota 6 - 10
    Mon Mothma Really, really boring.
    Green Bay 6 - 10
    Yoda Green and 800 years old.
    Detroit 6 - 10
    Admiral Ozzel "He is as clumsy as he is stupid."



    Prediction
    NFC SOUTH
    Star Wars Character
    New Orleans 12 - 4
    Wedge His presence is nearly inexplicable, but he's going to be there in the end.
    Carolina 7 - 9
    Millennium Falcon A favorite of everyone's, but may break down at exactly the wrong time.
    Tampa Bay 3 - 13
    The Naboo Squadron Lots of pilots, none of them any good.
    Atlanta 2 - 14
    Han Solo frozen in carbonite You couldn't be more screwed.



    Prediction
    NFC WEST
    Star Wars Character
    Seattle 10 - 6
    The planet Kamino Wet, rainy and wet.
    St. Louis 9 - 7
    Kit Fisto Impressive looking warrior who is too easily defeated by the dark side.
    Arizona 9 - 7
    Slave Princess Leia Always the sexy pick, but ends up choking you to death.
    San Francisco 6 - 10
    Bail Organa A rich lineage in formal attire.

  2. #2
    Member idioteque's Avatar
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    Default Re: Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

    Haha, this is amazing. I like the Cleveland Brown-Jawas connection the best. But no regular Han Solo, only Han in carbonite?

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    Default Re: Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

    I expected that to suck, but that was pretty good! Clearly written by a Colts fan, but I don't care.

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    Member campy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

    That was pretty funny. Only Yoda was still a bad dude at 800 years old.

  5. #5
    Administrator/ The Real Jay ChicagoJ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

    The Bears could only go 12-4 against an All-NFC schedule. They've got to play four AFC Games.
    Why do the things that we treasure most, slip away in time
    Till to the music we grow deaf, to God's beauty blind
    Why do the things that connect us slowly pull us apart?
    Till we fall away in our own darkness, a stranger to our own hearts
    And life itself, rushing over me
    Life itself, the wind in black elms,
    Life itself in your heart and in your eyes, I can't make it without you


  6. #6

    Default Re: Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

    New England should be Han Solo--the best looking, clever, brave, certainly greedy, one of the smartest,

    and the most likely to end up with the girl of his choice.

    Y'all are just jealous.

  7. #7
    Member McClintic Sphere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

    Quote Originally Posted by pacertom View Post
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    New England should be Han Solo--the best looking, clever, brave, certainly greedy, one of the smartest,

    and the most likely to end up with the girl of his choice.
    I can't really imagine Han Solo leaving training camp for paternity reasons like Brady did. If they had a Star Wars character that always forgot to wear protection or accessorized with a man-purse when shopping then I could go along with that comparison.



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    Member naptownmenace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Predicted NFL Standings as Star Wars characters

    That was hilarious!

    I can't argue with any of the choices. The Han Solo in Carbonite is perfect for the Atlanta Falcons owner.
    Quote Originally Posted by vnzla81
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    Larry is not coming back, he didn't have a meeting with Orlando for not reason, yeah he is coming back to the NBA but not to the Pacers, the notion that he is a taking a year off and then come back is absurd.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trader Joe View Post
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    GOOD GOD THAT'S LARRY BIRD'S MUSIC!

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