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Daddy, a bunch of half-dressed woman are at the door & want you
The Miami Dolphins, in an attempt to be fan-friendlier with season ticket holders, have employed the team’s cheerleaders this season to deliver football tickets to your home or office.
They’re not mail carriers, they’re female carriers
The offer applies only to first—time season ticket holders who buy four or more seats in the upper bowl of Dolphin Stadium, which is known officially as “The 400” and unofficially as nose-bleed seats.
If you order before Sunday, July 29, this season’s tickets could be delivered to you by the team’s cheerleaders.
The start of something big?
We here at The Blogaroni love this idea, although it probably won’t be as popular as using former running back Ricky Williams to make deliveries to your door.
The cheerleader promotion could turn out to be something other teams might try to copy or build on in other ways. For example …
Atlanta Falcon season ticket holders could get their tickets delivered by quarterback Michael Vick, who would also be available to abuse any dogs in the neighborhood you don’t like.
And what Tennessee Titans fans wouldn’t open the door immediately if their tickets came via Adam “Pacman” Jones and his shoot-em-up posse?
The Florida Marlins could even start a similar incentive, using starting pitcher Scott Olsen to deliver your tickets. You know Olsen won’t stop until he’s at your door. So when you hear the cop cars blaring their sirens in pursuit, be ready to open your front door fast, so you can get your tickets before Olsen gets Tasered.
Our concern here at The Blogaroni is that the average Miami Dolphins fan might not quite know what to say when faced with a load of cheerleaders at the front door. Or even worse, the cheerleaders might show up at your door by mistake, and you might say something you regret.