BIll Simmons page 2 article about LVP's (Least Valuable Player)
I found these entries to be pretty funny. I also found it interesting a writer can get away with putting "F you/this" in his column twice on a website like ESPN's.
287. Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy (tie)
The lesson, as always: Anytime you're considering a six-player NBA trade in which you end up with both overpaid white guys in the deal ... you might want to rethink that baby.
89. Jermaine O'Neal, Pau Gasol (tie)
I like both of these guys as players. But when you're making max money, and you're the best guy on your team, you can't keep saying things like "Maybe it's time for me to move on" or "Maybe we'd be better off if I played somewhere else." You signed that contract and accepted the responsibility to be the franchise player on the team. Now that same franchise is struggling -- partly because of your inadequacies, by the way -- and you want to flee the premises like it's a crime scene?
I write this every year, and I'm writing it again: Just once before I die, I want an NBA owner to hold a news conference that will unfold like this:
"Thanks to everyone for coming today. I just wanted to quickly address (unhappy superstar making max money)'s comments today. Here's my response: F--- you. I should be the one complaining, not you -- you wanted to be paid like a franchise player when you're clearly not. More than anything else, that's why we suck. Hell will freeze over before I send you to a better team. Repeat: Hell will freeze over. You're stuck here. End of press conference."