Was there ever a crappier company in the history of the world? Is every staff person a robot or a moron? I HATE THIS COMPANY! Seriously, you guys know me. I'm not normally an angry person. But do you remember the Calvin and Hobbes comic where Calvin dreams of flying a jet fighter and turning his school into a smoking crater? That's me and the Capital One headquarters.
I do not have a Capital One credit card account. I had one once, while I was in college. But they gave me the shaft, so I gave them the boot. No hard feelings, walk away clean, have a nice life. But they keep sending me junk mail. No big deal, you say. Everybody sends junk mail these days. You're correct, of course. But if there is any justice in the world, the decision-makers at Capital One will have their very own level of hell reserved for them for all eternity (warmed, of course, by burning the billions of credit card offers they send out). Here's the short list of what really annoys me about this train wreck of a company:
1. They always spell my name wrong. Always. Even when I had an account with them (2001), I would get mail with the wrong spelling on it. My card had the correct spelling, but they'd send me "convenience checks" with the wrong spelling. My name starts with "O" and they always assume I'm Irish. I'm not Irish. How crazy is it to mess something like that up on the convenience checks but have it correct on my card and bill? What's worse is they've gotten worse in their spelling. It's not uncommon for me to 3 letters from them at the same time at the same address, each with a different misspelling of my name.
2. They won't stop sending me mail. On three different occasions in the last year, I've fought my way through their robotic telephone service and gotten ahold of a call center operator. On each occasion, I've immediately asked to speak to their superior. When talking to the superior, I've politely explained that I don't want to get mail from them any longer, and that they should please remove me from their mailing list. Each time, they promise me that it's done, and I won't get mail from them any more. They say that it will take 3 weeks before it goes into effect. I say fine. The mail never stops. If anything, I've been getting more than ever.
3. Their deals are absolutely insulting. My regular credit card has a $12,500 limit no monthly/annual fees, and a lifetime locked rate of 7.99%. Capital One sends me mail congratulating me on my excellent credit, which allows them to offer me a 18.9% credit card with $39 annual fee and a $300 credit limit. How stupid would I have to be to take that offer?
4. Volume. It's only Wednesday, but so far this week my address recieved 8 capital one offers: 2 for me, 4 for my wife, 1 for my father, and 1 for my sister-in-law. My father doesn't (and never has) lived here, nor has my sister-in-law. My wife got twice as many offers because they send mail to her married name and her maiden name. We've been married four years.
What do I have to do to make them go away? I'm not ready to opt out of all credit offers, just the ones from Capital One. I have no idea where they get their information. They claim it's from the credit agencies, but it's not. My name is spelled correctly there.
How do I get off their list? Please help me!
PS I typed this out because I spent an hour trying to get a Capital One person on the phone tonight, only to be stymied by their robots.