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Thread: Adopt an NBA player!

  1. #1
    Hi! pacercoltfan's Avatar
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    Talking Adopt an NBA player!

    http://www.ahajokes.com/spo03.html

    Adopt an NBA player

    THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU!

    With an NBA player's strike against the team owners
    looming, now is the time for us to show the world just
    how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of
    basketball players in our very own country are living at
    or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious!
    And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be
    deprived of pay for several weeks--possibly a whole
    year--as a result of the strike. But now you can help!
    For about two thousand dollars a day--that's less than
    the cost of a large screen projection TV--you can help a
    basketball player remain economically viable during his
    time of need.

    Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of
    money to you, but to a basketball player it could mean
    the difference between a vacation spent golfing in
    Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand
    dollars is nothing more than three months rent or
    mortgage payments. But to a basketball player, two
    thousand dollars a day will almost replace his salary.
    Your commitment of two thousand dollars a day will
    enable a player to buy that home entertainment center,
    trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy
    a weekend in Rio.

    "HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?"

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report
    on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about
    his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other
    investment holdings will be mailed to your home. You'll
    also get information on how he plans to invest the $5
    million lump sum he will receive upon retirement. Plus
    upon signing up for this program, you will receive a
    photo of the player (unsigned). Put the photo on your
    refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

    "HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING"

    Your basketball player will be told that he has a
    SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need.
    Although the player won't know your name, he will be
    able to make collect calls to your home via a special
    operator just in case additional funds are needed for
    unexpected expenses.

    Simply fill out the form below.
    ___YES, I want to help!

    I would like to sponsor a striking NBA basketball
    player. My preference is checked below:

    [ ] Starter
    [ ] Reserve
    [ ] Star*
    [ ] Superstar**
    [ ] Entire team***
    [ ] I'll sponsor a player most in
    need. Please select one for me.
    * Higher cost
    ** Much higher cost
    *** Please call our 900 number to
    ask for the cost of a specific
    team (Sorry, does not include
    cheerleaders).

    Please charge the account listed below $2,054.79 per day
    for a reserve player or starter for the duration of the
    strike. Please send me a picture of the player I have
    sponsored, along with a team logo and my very own NBA
    Players Association badge to wear proudly on my lapel.

    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa
    [ ] American Express [ ] DiscoverCard
    [ ] Diner's Club

    Your Name: __________________________
    Telephone Number: __________________
    Account Number: _____________________
    Exp.Date:____________________________
    Signature: _________________________

    Mail completed form to NBA Players Association or call
    1-888-TOOMUCH now to enroll by phone. (Children under 18
    must have parental approval.)

    Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player
    they have sponsored, either in person or by other means
    including, but not limited to, telephone calls, letters,
    e-mail, or third parties. Keep in mind that the
    basketball player you have sponsored will be much too
    busy enjoying his free time, thanks to your generous
    donations. Oh yes, contributions are not tax-deductible.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    2007 Super Bowl XLI Champions!

  2. #2
    #PacerNation 317Kim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adopt an NBA player!

    YOWZERS! This was hilarious!

    Spoiler Spoiler:

  3. #3
    Member BoomBaby31's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adopt an NBA player!

    where do I sign up???? I feel sorry for these guys! Like Latrell Sprewell said he needs to feed his family

  4. #4
    woman without a team
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    7,055

    Default Re: Adopt an NBA player!

    Sine Artest is talking about playing next year for no money (provided they resign Bonzi and keep Adelman) I'm sure he's at the top of everyone's wish list.

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