From my hidden camera in Donnie’s office
Secretary: Ron is here to see you now, Donnie
DW: (coughs, stamps out cigarette butt) OK Betty, send him in
DW: Hi Ron! A little late, but have a seat—we’ve got a lot to talk about
Ron: Umm… OK, but first… (reaches for his belt)
DW: Don’t shoot me Ron! (falls to his knees)
Ron: Hey Donnie, chill…I just tucked a copy of my new CD under my belt to give to you.
DW: OK… but I’m not into that new-fangled music.
Ron: You’ll like it…
DW: I’m more of a Barbara Streisand/Bette Midler type, to be honest, along with the soundtracks to the Godfather movies.
Ron: (blinks his eyes 30 times in silence)… Umm… then give it to Larry.
DW: Larry just listens to “Achey Breakie Heart” over and over again. Here, I’ll give it to Mel Daniels. He had some grandkids, I think.
DW: So Ron, what’s this from your agent about you not happy if you were in Sacramento?
Ron: My agent says some crazy *****, man…
DW: where did you get him?
Ron: He’s a supervisor at Circuit City.
DW: WTF is that?
Ron: You know… stereo stuff. He buys things for me at the employee discount.
DW: Why would you hire him as an agent?
Ron: They got good stuff there, that Circuit City. And bigger discounts than my last agent from Best Buy.
(I’ll transcribe more as time permits)