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Thread: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

  1. #1
    Administrator Unclebuck's Avatar
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    Default Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    http://www.freep.com/sports/pistons/...e_20050614.htm


    MITCH ALBOM: Only a doctor can free Rip from his nemesis

    June 14, 2005






    BY MITCH ALBOM
    FREE PRESS COLUMNIST



    So I'm down at the make-believe doctor's office, sitting in the waiting area, and Richard Hamilton happens to be in the examining room. And the door is slightly ajar.


    "Doc, you gotta help me."


    "What's the problem, Rip?"


    "It's kind of embarrassing. I need something removed."


    "What is it? A polyp? A mole?"


    "This."


    "Oh, my. That's an entire person."


    "I know. They call it Bruce Bowen. It won't come off."


    "Have you tried the normal methods?"


    "Oh, yeah. I tried shaking it off. Tried juking it off. Tried scraping it off against Rasheed Wallace's hip, against Ben Wallace's backside."


    "Won't budge?"


    "Nah. It's nasty."


    "Hmm," the doctor says. "I've never seen anything quite like it. It won't separate."


    "Tell me about it. It's like a tick you pick up in the woods. I've been playing guys like this all my life, and I always lose 'em. I do my famous curl, real tight around a teammate's screen, and bang! I'm as open as a 7-Eleven.


    "Or else I come at these guys really hard, then I pull up for my patented 10-foot jumper and -- hello! They're on the ground and I'm flying solo.


    "But this thing. It won't go away. I cut, it cuts. I curl, it curls. It's messing me up. My rhythm is as off as Dick Cheney doing the moonwalk. First game I shoot 7-for 21. Second game I shoot 5-for-15. My math's not great, but I think that's 33 percent. I can't get a foul call. I'm fighting with the refs.


    "And to make matters worse, I think this Bowen thing had onions for dinner. Smell that."


    "Yeesh."


    "Cut me, Doc. Cut me."



    The Worm has turned
    I lean back, trying not to eavesdrop. How can I help it? I know what this is about. This is about surviving the NBA Finals. Or even winning a game. Bowen, the Spurs' ace defender, has put a clamp on Hamilton, the engine that drives the Pistons' offense. And the engine is sp-sp-sputtering.


    Let's face it: Hamilton has been the only consistent force in an inconsistent Pistons' postseason. Even as Ben Wallace slumped, Rip was there, cashing in baskets. Even as Rasheed floated in and out of games, Rip was there, dropping coins in the slot.


    Even as Chauncey Billups alternated between Mr. Big Shot to Mr. Gotta Make More Big Shots, Rip was there, the Energizer bunny, up and down the court, pull-up bang, pull-up bang, keeping the Pistons in it until others rediscovered themselves.


    Last series, against Miami, he averaged 23.6 points. He's down to 14 points a game this series. Bowen has always given him trouble. Here he is again. Like a tick.


    "What do you think, Doc?"


    "To be honest, Rip, this a very rare affliction. It's called Defenderus No Pointus. A creature not interested in scoring, only defending. You see one every few years. Last one I recall had yellow hair and nose rings. Dennis something."


    "Can you make it go away?"


    "Well, I don't know."


    "Doc, you've got to! It's getting worse. The thing followed me home last night! I sat down to eat, it took the sandwich out of my hands. When I say 'Yesss,' it says 'Sirrrr.' It's freaking me out.


    "We got a series to win here. Knock me out if you have to. But operate. Get it off me."



    Whatever it is, it's contagious
    After that, I don't hear much. I think I can make out the sound of a pep talk, and some old Pistons tapes, and the play-by-play calls of Hamilton having a great scoring night. And maybe a chainsaw.


    Eventually, the door opens. Hamilton has a bandage on each arm and each leg, but otherwise looks fine. I bury my head in a magazine.


    "It won't come back, will it, Doc?"


    "That depends on you, Rip."


    "All I gotta do is go faster, cut my screens tighter, change my angles and get my teammates to help me out?"


    "And drink lots of water and get plenty of rest."


    "Listen," Rip says. "I hope you don't mind. I brought a few of the other guys with me. They need some stuff surgically removed, too."


    He opens the side door.


    "You remember Tayshaun? He needs that taken off him."


    "Yeoww! That's an Argentinean!"


    "I know. He's been on Tayshaun like a hornet. Oh, and you remember Rasheed? He's got something he can't shake, either."


    "Goodness. That's a referee."


    "Been on his back for years."


    The door closes. Work begins. I lean back. If only the Pistons can cut out their problems so easily. If only playing at the Palace in Game 3 tonight will scrub them clean.


    Another door opens. In comes Larry Brown. He's got an arrow sticking out of his back that reads "Cleveland."


    "Doc," he says. "I've got this pain, right here ..."

  2. #2
    All is full of Orange! Mourning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    "Oh, and you remember Rasheed? He's got something he can't shake, either."

    "Goodness. That's a referee."


    "Been on his back for years.""

    Regards,

    Mourning
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    That's classic Mitch Albom.

    And Bruce Bowen to an early Pistons years Dennis Rodman is a good comparison too.

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    Member OnlyPacersLeft's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Artest>Bowen
    We are going to own the pistons without rip
    "GIMMIE DAT!"-DANGER

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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by J33J
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    Artest>Bowen
    We are going to own the pistons without rip
    No offense, and I'm going to get blasted here for this, but I don't think Artest is in the same league as Bowen as a defender.

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    Rebound King Kstat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by J33J
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    Artest>Bowen
    We are going to own the pistons without rip
    ....and what exactly makes you think Rip is going anywhere.....

    It wasn't about being the team everyone loved, it was about beating the teams everyone else loved.

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    Rebound King Kstat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by shags
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    No offense, and I'm going to get blasted here for this, but I don't think Artest is in the same league as Bowen as a defender.
    They're just different types of defenders. Bowen is better at guarding faster players, while artest is better with bigger guards. Both struggle with guarding the other type of player, which is why Bowen has always had trouble with Kobe, and Artest has a tough time with Hamilton.

    It wasn't about being the team everyone loved, it was about beating the teams everyone else loved.

    Division Champions 1955, 1956, 1988, 1989, 1990, 2002, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
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    Pacer Junky Will Galen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by shags
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    No offense, and I'm going to get blasted here for this, but I don't think Artest is in the same league as Bowen as a defender.
    Why should we blast you? Artest isn't in the same league as Bowen, we know he's better.

    For one he doesn't try to injure people.

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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Will Galen
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    Why should we blast you? Artest isn't in the same league as Bowen, we know he's better.
    Obviously that's not what I meant. I think KStat's right though. When guarding Rip Hamilton, Artest is the 2nd best defender on his team

    I still think Bowen's a better overall defensive player though

  10. #10
    Member efx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    After watching Bowen in this series I think he's a wash defensively with Artest.
    What makes Artest so special though is that on top of that he's a great offensive player as well. Few players combine the 2 so well.

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    Administrator Unclebuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by shags
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    I still think Bowen's a better overall defensive player though
    Ron is more unique, less textbook, but I think more disruptive overall. There is no other defender in the league like Ron. There are a lot of defenders like Bowen, none as good, but similar.

    I wish they would do a poll of small forwards and shooting guards and see who they pick. Oh wait haven't they done that and Ronnie won.

  12. #12
    foretaz
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Unclebuck
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    Ron is more unique, less textbook, but I think more disruptive overall. There is no other defender in the league like Ron. There are a lot of defenders like Bowen, none as good, but similar.

    I wish they would do a poll of small forwards and shooting guards and see who they pick. Oh wait haven't they done that and Ronnie won.
    didnt they do a poll amongst the players on who the best defender is and ron got double the votes over his nearest competitor?

    i assume this is what ur alluding to buck? or something different...what im thinking of wasnt position specific but for all positions...dpoy as voted on by the players in the league..

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    flexible and robust SoupIsGood's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Unclebuck
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    Oh wait haven't they done that and Ronnie won.
    It wasn't even close, either.
    You, Never? Did the Kenosha Kid?

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    Administrator Peck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Unclebuck
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    Ron is more unique, less textbook, but I think more disruptive overall. There is no other defender in the league like Ron. There are a lot of defenders like Bowen, none as good, but similar.

    I wish they would do a poll of small forwards and shooting guards and see who they pick. Oh wait haven't they done that and Ronnie won.

    Man are you ever correct on that statement.

    I've never seen a player cost a team so many games by thier disruptive behavior as Ron has over the past few years.

    Oh wait.....You meant he was disruptive on the defensive end. Sorry about that


    Basketball isn't played with computers, spreadsheets, and simulations. ChicagoJ 4/21/13

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    ENABEABLER MagicRat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Peck
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    Man are you ever correct on that statement.

    I've never seen a player cost a team so many games by thier disruptive behavior as Ron has over the past few years.

    Nice....
    PSN: MRat731 XBL: MRat0731

  16. #16
    foretaz
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Peck
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    Man are you ever correct on that statement.

    I've never seen a player cost a team so many games by thier disruptive behavior as Ron has over the past few years.

    Oh wait.....You meant he was disruptive on the defensive end. Sorry about that

  17. #17
    Administrator Unclebuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Peck, don't think I did not know what I was posting. I knew someone would jump all over it. And you were the first.

    Ron is a disruptive presense to everyone and everything.

  18. #18
    Administrator Peck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Unclebuck
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    Peck, don't think I did not know what I was posting. I knew someone would jump all over it. And you were the first.

    Ron is a disruptive presense to everyone and everything.

    Oh I just found my new signature.


    Basketball isn't played with computers, spreadsheets, and simulations. ChicagoJ 4/21/13

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    Member SycamoreKen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Peck
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    Man are you ever correct on that statement.

    I've never seen a player cost a team so many games by thier disruptive behavior as Ron has over the past few years.

    Oh wait.....You meant he was disruptive on the defensive end. Sorry about that
    Good one! I liked the story too.

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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Peck
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    Man are you ever correct on that statement.

    I've never seen a player cost a team so many games by thier disruptive behavior as Ron has over the past few years.

    I would rather be the hammer than the nail

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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    Quote Originally Posted by Peck
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    Man are you ever correct on that statement.

    I've never seen a player cost a team so many games by thier disruptive behavior as Ron has over the past few years.

    Oh wait.....You meant he was disruptive on the defensive end. Sorry about that
    You realize this means WAR, don't you?
    Don't ask Marvin Harrison what he did during the bye week. "Batman never told where the Bat Cave is," he explained.

  22. #22
    3ptmiller
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    Default Re: Entertaining article about Rip and Bowen

    hahahah thx for the good laugh UB!

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