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March 11, 2005 -- DID YOU happen to eyeball Alonzo Mourning trying to rough up harmless Sixer Samuel Dalembert the other night in Miami? Allen Iverson complained to the refs about gettin' bowed by the bandwagon boarder only moments before.
What a He-Man! Activated less than a week and already Zo's discredited with the Heat's lone ejection of the season, player or coach. Very impressive! Maybe when Zo finally gets dishonorably discharged, John Chaney can create some eligibility for him as an expert goon.
"We want Zo! We want Zo! We want Zo!"
What a sideshow in Miami! He's all yours, Heat fans. Hope they found Zo's air-ball free throw especially enjoyable. I'm sure Willie Mays identified with it.
What an indictment on the NBA's labor force! Can the Heat really be that hard up for handicapped height? Or does Zo have something creepy on Pat Riley? One way or the other, who's next to supplement South Beach's seedy senses, Anthony Mason?
Don't interrupt my train of thought; I'm busy wondering whether Chris Webber has found better soul food in Philadelphia than he was able to import into Sacramento.
Seems to me, C-Note and A.I. could have an Elgin Baylor-Jerry West thing going for them. Only trouble is, Webber is dragging one leg around like Baylor before he turned over his starting spot to Jim McMillian and retired after two games in 1970; the Lakers promptly went on a 33-game winning streak.
OK, OK, so there is one other minor snag: Jim O'Brien is adjusting as poorly and slowly to coaching a second (wounded) superstar accustomed to having the offense revolve around him as Iverson is adapting to Webber's relatively sluggish, er, deliberate style.
Evidently, time and Iverson wait for no man. A.I. simply ain't about to hurry up and hang until C-Note drifts into the picture. And, so far, O'Brien hasn't insisted on any such downshifting or droplet of over-dribbling, which isn't exactly making Webber look or feel good in his greatly reduced role.
At the risk of rushing to judgment, I'm deducing Sixers chairman Ed Snider may be finding it objectionable in part right about now to be shelling out max money to a player not seeing max minutes.
Which reminds me, following the Webber For Who Trade an on-line Sporting News writer decided Kings president Geoff Petrie deserved the benefit of the doubt.
Benefit of the doubt!!!
This just in: Iverson bestowed yet another exclusive on Stephen A. Smith. Told him he wants out of Georgetown.
Come on, considering Petrie's packed past of one-sided acquisitions (Webber for Mitch Richmond; Brad Miller for Scott Pollard and Hedo Turkoglu; Doug Christie for Corliss Williamson; Cutino Mobley for Christie) do you really think it'd be wise to buy a used player from this guy?
In case you stopped following the Hawks soon after Dominique Wilkins retired, they're currently wallowing in a 13-game losing streak, utterly fragrant, I suppose, compared to their 23-game snafu on the road. Far be it from me to suggest they're not whistlin' in Dixie, but Al (Household) Harrington was spotted in the locker room after Wednesday's defeat to the Celtics poring through college catalogues.
Props to my Paper Clips, who own Office Supply Center bragging rights with consecutive wins over the franchise formerly known as the Lakers. After seeing his team lose to their co-tenants for the fifth time in 33 games, Jerry Buss said he's moving his team to Buffalo and immediately fingered Bob Weiss, Bob Kauffman and Bob MacKinnon as the leading coaching candidates.
Meanwhile, Kobe Bryant and his court are fighting a losing battle to earn the right to lose to the Spurs in a first-round playoff series; check out Shaq's impact down in FLA. The Heat's lead in the Southeast Division is so big (111/2 games over the Wizards) even Gene Mauch couldn't blow it.
Just wondering: Why did the major leagues go through all the fuss of moving the Montreal Expos to Washington, D.C. If they wanted baseball back in the nation's capital so badly, they could've done what congress did . . . subpoena 'em.
You don't wanna miss ESPN's new game show. The winner gets to do studio analysis on its NBA regular-season shows. The losers get to do game analysis on NBA playoff games. And the contestants who know nothing about NBA basketball don't leave empty-handed: They get to host the studio shows!
I find it heart-worming Gary Payton has found life outside the triangle more suited to his style, seamlessly sliding into the Bob Cousy role for the first-place Celtics. How good is Little Noxious? He doesn't only get the ball back after he passes it; he gets his team back after he is traded from it. It's a mere coincidence, I submit, Payton chose the team that could pay him $1.6 million for the remainder of the season, triple what the competition (Phoenix, Sacramento and Miami) had available.
Winners of their last seven Garden hoedowns, the Knicks have emboldened Camp Cablevision to such brazenness James Dolan is now running ads opposing a West Side stadium and "West Side Story."
This just in: Iverson confided to Stephen A. he wants out of his tattoos.
Jumbo Shrimp! Oh, I thought this was an OT thread on oxymorons. I guess I'll read the article now.
"You don't wanna miss ESPN's new game show. The winner gets to do studio analysis on its NBA regular-season shows. The losers get to do game analysis on NBA playoff games. And the contestants who know nothing about NBA basketball don't leave empty-handed: They get to host the studio shows!"
Well, you can never go wrong bashing these and I hate George Micheals doing NBA play-by-play.