This has been the worst summer in the history of summers so far. I think I'm going to go hide in a hole until a girl comes and finds me who doesn't have mixed signals and intentions. I may never see you guys again.
With all the safety improvements in NASCAR/IRL there would be a lot of dead drivers since Earnhardt died. At least on at at Indy last weekend. Carl Edwards might not be cutting many back flips after that ride at Talladega. Some Talladega spectators would be dead too. Thank God Dale Earnhardt died. His death has saved many lives.
This just in......A month in Asia did NOT help my golf game......As a matter of fact, it had no impact what so ever on my 1288 handicap.
i finally ran into this playboy girl at the club 2 weekends ago - damn she is a shorty for sure...she must be like 5' max...
Woman blasts off boyfriend’s penis with firecrackers
Be carefull who you drink with.
Have you thought about volunteering for a deep space mission? One that's organized by a bunch of monks? Maybe girls on Alpha Centauri don't send mixed signals but they make 'em that way here.Quote:
I think I'm going to go hide in a hole until a girl comes and finds me who doesn't have mixed signals and intentions. I may never see you guys again.
Though Belli's firecracker girl proves there's an exception to every rule - I don't think she was mixed with her signal at all.
It's ok during the school year but now with school out there is no way in hell I can work from home.
They seem to think I'm available to run them wherever they (read that as SHE) wants to go. :mad:
> A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses
> from a heart attack!
> "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
> The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes,
> picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
> His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying
> here and you're putting?"
> "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, " they found a doctor on
> the second hole and he's coming to help you."
> "Well, how long will it take for him to get here," she asks feebly?
> "No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to
> let him play through."
> A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson, "You are spectacular, your name
> is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around
> the course. What's your secret?"
> Michelson replied, "The holes are numbered"
> A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the
> priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole my son? "
> The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
> The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray. "
> The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The
> priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. The
> young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church,
> when we pray, we keep our head down."
> ----------- ------- ------------
> Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody
> 5-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks,"Ma'am, is
> that your husband?"
> "Yes " says the woman.
> "Did you hit him with that golf club?"
> Yes, yes, I did.." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts
> her, hands on her face.
> "How many times did you hit him?"
> "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times.....just put me down for a
> A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and
> hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an
> opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out
> his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced
> back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
> As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good
> The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"
> The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar,
> the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
> She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
> He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all
> day, is it?"
Two copies.....one works fine and one does not seem to work on the office computer. Something about it has to be converted to Windows Vista Color Scheme????
I'll try them again at home.
My random, scattered and disturbed thoughts have me thinking about offing the neighbors dog today. The stupid thing barks and barks all day and night long. You would think that the dumb dog would know me by now, but he stupidly barks at me, my animals and the traffic that rides down the streets. U sed to be able to hold him at bay with tossing a firecracker at him, but he's gotten to know that trick and runs when he sees me **** my arm back. My neighbor shoots the dog with a pellet gun but I just can't get myself to do that. The owners don't give a crap and even though they have been fined several times they still ignore this obvious pain in the arse dog. We had a couple look at our house to buy and the dog ran them off. This has been going on for the last four years. Anyone have any ideas? I have heard castor beans can make a quick ending to a dog.
I have to say that Sierra Vista, AZ is a non-happening place. Rather than sit in my hotel room for another weekend, I went out to the 'World Famous Sorry Gulch Saloon' which advertises that they are open until 2 a.m. on Saturdays. By midnight, the bartender was stacking chairs. The patrons, when queried as to where the live music, happening bars, etc might be, referred me to a number of bars specializing in strippers and biker-friendly premises.
On the other hand, there are a number of quite decent taco / burrito joints in town.
P.S. When faced with the barking dog dilemma in Italy, I used the slingshot solution. I could see down into the neighbors' yard from my upper story, and whenever that blind, paranoid german shepherd got onto one of its 12-hour barking jags, I would bang a dry bean off its arse. "Bark." ping "Bark." ping...after a few beans, the cur would retreat to the other side of the house at least, minimizing the noise. Just a thought.
On the other hand, in your situation, a lawsuit in a small claims court might be the way to go. The dog's affecting your economic situation. Affect its owners economic situation. A ten thousand dollar settlement might make them wake up, as opposed to a 100-dollar fine.
I'm with the lawsuit idea. You suffered a loss...if you can get a statement from the agent or the propspective buyers.
For the 2nd time since CHristmas my car has been broken into while sitting in my driveway.
This time they took all of the change I had in my ashtray (desperat huh?) and a Canon digital camera.
They left the laser "measuring tapes" and TI calculators this time. FOrtuneately the GPS was in the house.
I think I'll throw a sleeping bag out on the front porch and sleep with a shotgun. WHile committing a robbery, the sound of a 12 gauge being pumped can be very unnerving.
I heard a chainsaw revving can be unnerving as well. Or even a woodchipper.
Sorry about your luck geezer. Karma will catch up with those d-bags eventually.
Sometimes I feel my phone vibrating when there are no calls.
Other times I don't feel it at all when people have called.