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The Rules of Pacers Digest

Hello everyone,

Whether your are a long standing forum member or whether you have just registered today, it's a good idea to read and review the rules below so that you have a very good idea of what to expect when you come to Pacers Digest.

A quick note to new members: Your posts will not immediately show up when you make them. An administrator has to approve at least your first post before the forum software will later upgrade your account to the status of a fully-registered member. This usually happens within a couple of hours or so after your post(s) is/are approved, so you may need to be a little patient at first.

Why do we do this? So that it's more difficult for spammers (be they human or robot) to post, and so users who are banned cannot immediately re-register and start dousing people with verbal flames.

Below are the rules of Pacers Digest. After you have read them, you will have a very good sense of where we are coming from, what we expect, what we don't want to see, and how we react to things.

Rule #1

Pacers Digest is intended to be a place to discuss basketball without having to deal with the kinds of behaviors or attitudes that distract people from sticking with the discussion of the topics at hand. These unwanted distractions can come in many forms, and admittedly it can sometimes be tricky to pin down each and every kind that can rear its ugly head, but we feel that the following examples and explanations cover at least a good portion of that ground and should at least give people a pretty good idea of the kinds of things we actively discourage:

"Anyone who __________ is a liar / a fool / an idiot / a blind homer / has their head buried in the sand / a blind hater / doesn't know basketball / doesn't watch the games"

"People with intelligence will agree with me when I say that __________"

"Only stupid people think / believe / do ___________"

"I can't wait to hear something from PosterX when he/she sees that **insert a given incident or current event that will have probably upset or disappointed PosterX here**"

"He/she is just delusional"

"This thread is stupid / worthless / embarrassing"

"I'm going to take a moment to point and / laugh at PosterX / GroupOfPeopleY who thought / believed *insert though/belief here*"

"Remember when PosterX said OldCommentY that no longer looks good? "

In general, if a comment goes from purely on topic to something 'ad hominem' (personal jabs, personal shots, attacks, flames, however you want to call it, towards a person, or a group of people, or a given city/state/country of people), those are most likely going to be found intolerable.

We also dissuade passive aggressive behavior. This can be various things, but common examples include statements that are basically meant to imply someone is either stupid or otherwise incapable of holding a rational conversation. This can include (but is not limited to) laughing at someone's conclusions rather than offering an honest rebuttal, asking people what game they were watching, or another common problem is Poster X will say "that player isn't that bad" and then Poster Y will say something akin to "LOL you think that player is good". We're not going to tolerate those kinds of comments out of respect for the community at large and for the sake of trying to just have an honest conversation.

Now, does the above cover absolutely every single kind of distraction that is unwanted? Probably not, but you should by now have a good idea of the general types of things we will be discouraging. The above examples are meant to give you a good feel for / idea of what we're looking for. If something new or different than the above happens to come along and results in the same problem (that being, any other attitude or behavior that ultimately distracts from actually just discussing the topic at hand, or that is otherwise disrespectful to other posters), we can and we will take action to curb this as well, so please don't take this to mean that if you managed to technically avoid saying something exactly like one of the above examples that you are then somehow off the hook.

That all having been said, our goal is to do so in a generally kind and respectful way, and that doesn't mean the moment we see something we don't like that somebody is going to be suspended or banned, either. It just means that at the very least we will probably say something about it, quite possibly snipping out the distracting parts of the post in question while leaving alone the parts that are actually just discussing the topics, and in the event of a repeating or excessive problem, then we will start issuing infractions to try to further discourage further repeat problems, and if it just never seems to improve, then finally suspensions or bans will come into play. We would prefer it never went that far, and most of the time for most of our posters, it won't ever have to.

A slip up every once and a while is pretty normal, but, again, when it becomes repetitive or excessive, something will be done. Something occasional is probably going to be let go (within reason), but when it starts to become habitual or otherwise a pattern, odds are very good that we will step in.

There's always a small minority that like to push people's buttons and/or test their own boundaries with regards to the administrators, and in the case of someone acting like that, please be aware that this is not a court of law, but a private website run by people who are simply trying to do the right thing as they see it. If we feel that you are a special case that needs to be dealt with in an exceptional way because your behavior isn't explicitly mirroring one of our above examples of what we generally discourage, we can and we will take atypical action to prevent this from continuing if you are not cooperative with us.

Also please be aware that you will not be given a pass simply by claiming that you were 'only joking,' because quite honestly, when someone really is just joking, for one thing most people tend to pick up on the joke, including the person or group that is the target of the joke, and for another thing, in the event where an honest joke gets taken seriously and it upsets or angers someone, the person who is truly 'only joking' will quite commonly go out of his / her way to apologize and will try to mend fences. People who are dishonest about their statements being 'jokes' do not do so, and in turn that becomes a clear sign of what is really going on. It's nothing new.

In any case, quite frankly, the overall quality and health of the entire forum's community is more important than any one troublesome user will ever be, regardless of exactly how a problem is exhibiting itself, and if it comes down to us having to make a choice between you versus the greater health and happiness of the entire community, the community of this forum will win every time.

Lastly, there are also some posters, who are generally great contributors and do not otherwise cause any problems, who sometimes feel it's their place to provoke or to otherwise 'mess with' that small minority of people described in the last paragraph, and while we possibly might understand why you might feel you WANT to do something like that, the truth is we can't actually tolerate that kind of behavior from you any more than we can tolerate the behavior from them. So if we feel that you are trying to provoke those other posters into doing or saying something that will get themselves into trouble, then we will start to view you as a problem as well, because of the same reason as before: The overall health of the forum comes first, and trying to stir the pot with someone like that doesn't help, it just makes it worse. Some will simply disagree with this philosophy, but if so, then so be it because ultimately we have to do what we think is best so long as it's up to us.

If you see a problem that we haven't addressed, the best and most appropriate course for a forum member to take here is to look over to the left of the post in question. See underneath that poster's name, avatar, and other info, down where there's a little triangle with an exclamation point (!) in it? Click that. That allows you to report the post to the admins so we can definitely notice it and give it a look to see what we feel we should do about it. Beyond that, obviously it's human nature sometimes to want to speak up to the poster in question who has bothered you, but we would ask that you try to refrain from doing so because quite often what happens is two or more posters all start going back and forth about the original offending post, and suddenly the entire thread is off topic or otherwise derailed. So while the urge to police it yourself is understandable, it's best to just report it to us and let us handle it. Thank you!

All of the above is going to be subject to a case by case basis, but generally and broadly speaking, this should give everyone a pretty good idea of how things will typically / most often be handled.

Rule #2

If the actions of an administrator inspire you to make a comment, criticism, or express a concern about it, there is a wrong place and a couple of right places to do so.

The wrong place is to do so in the original thread in which the administrator took action. For example, if a post gets an infraction, or a post gets deleted, or a comment within a larger post gets clipped out, in a thread discussing Paul George, the wrong thing to do is to distract from the discussion of Paul George by adding your off topic thoughts on what the administrator did.

The right places to do so are:

A) Start a thread about the specific incident you want to talk about on the Feedback board. This way you are able to express yourself in an area that doesn't throw another thread off topic, and this way others can add their two cents as well if they wish, and additionally if there's something that needs to be said by the administrators, that is where they will respond to it.

B) Send a private message to the administrators, and they can respond to you that way.

If this is done the wrong way, those comments will be deleted, and if it's a repeating problem then it may also receive an infraction as well.

Rule #3

If a poster is bothering you, and an administrator has not or will not deal with that poster to the extent that you would prefer, you have a powerful tool at your disposal, one that has recently been upgraded and is now better than ever: The ability to ignore a user.

When you ignore a user, you will unfortunately still see some hints of their existence (nothing we can do about that), however, it does the following key things:

A) Any post they make will be completely invisible as you scroll through a thread.

B) The new addition to this feature: If someone QUOTES a user you are ignoring, you do not have to read who it was, or what that poster said, unless you go out of your way to click on a link to find out who it is and what they said.

To utilize this feature, from any page on Pacers Digest, scroll to the top of the page, look to the top right where it says 'Settings' and click that. From the settings page, look to the left side of the page where it says 'My Settings', and look down from there until you see 'Edit Ignore List' and click that. From here, it will say 'Add a Member to Your List...' Beneath that, click in the text box to the right of 'User Name', type in or copy & paste the username of the poster you are ignoring, and once their name is in the box, look over to the far right and click the 'Okay' button. All done!

Rule #4

Regarding infractions, currently they carry a value of one point each, and that point will expire in 31 days. If at any point a poster is carrying three points at the same time, that poster will be suspended until the oldest of the three points expires.

Rule #5

When you share or paste content or articles from another website, you must include the URL/link back to where you found it, who wrote it, and what website it's from. Said content will be removed if this doesn't happen.

An example:

If I copy and paste an article from the Indianapolis Star website, I would post something like this:

http://www.linktothearticlegoeshere.com/article
Title of the Article
Author's Name
Indianapolis Star

Rule #6

We cannot tolerate illegal videos on Pacers Digest. This means do not share any links to them, do not mention any websites that host them or link to them, do not describe how to find them in any way, and do not ask about them. Posts doing anything of the sort will be removed, the offenders will be contacted privately, and if the problem becomes habitual, you will be suspended, and if it still persists, you will probably be banned.

The legal means of watching or listening to NBA games are NBA League Pass Broadband (for US, or for International; both cost money) and NBA Audio League Pass (which is free). Look for them on NBA.com.

Rule #7

Provocative statements in a signature, or as an avatar, or as the 'tagline' beneath a poster's username (where it says 'Member' or 'Administrator' by default, if it is not altered) are an unwanted distraction that will more than likely be removed on sight. There can be shades of gray to this, but in general this could be something political or religious that is likely going to provoke or upset people, or otherwise something that is mean-spirited at the expense of a poster, a group of people, or a population.

It may or may not go without saying, but this goes for threads and posts as well, particularly when it's not made on the off-topic board (Market Square).

We do make exceptions if we feel the content is both innocuous and unlikely to cause social problems on the forum (such as wishing someone a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter), and we also also make exceptions if such topics come up with regards to a sports figure (such as the Lance Stephenson situation bringing up discussions of domestic abuse and the law, or when Jason Collins came out as gay and how that lead to some discussion about gay rights).

However, once the discussion seems to be more/mostly about the political issues instead of the sports figure or his specific situation, the thread is usually closed.

Rule #8

We prefer self-restraint and/or modesty when making jokes or off topic comments in a sports discussion thread. They can be fun, but sometimes they derail or distract from a topic, and we don't want to see that happen. If we feel it is a problem, we will either delete or move those posts from the thread.

Rule #9

Generally speaking, we try to be a "PG-13" rated board, and we don't want to see sexual content or similarly suggestive content. Vulgarity is a more muddled issue, though again we prefer things to lean more towards "PG-13" than "R". If we feel things have gone too far, we will step in.

Rule #10

We like small signatures, not big signatures. The bigger the signature, the more likely it is an annoying or distracting signature.

Rule #11

Do not advertise anything without talking about it with the administrators first. This includes advertising with your signature, with your avatar, through private messaging, and/or by making a thread or post.
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IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

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  • IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

    A thread in Pacers Digest...

    DR. BADD (v.o.)

    "Pacers Digest, ****. I'm still only in the Pacers forum. Every time I think I'm going to
    wake up back in the Feedback forum. When I logged on after my first tour,
    it was worse. I'd click the links and there'd be nothing...
    I hardly posted a word to my significant other until I said yes to 'it's complicated' on facebook.
    When I was here I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I
    could think of was getting back into the board.
    I've been here a week now. Waiting for a new thread, getting
    softer. Every minute I stay in this parent board, I get weaker. And every minute
    the counters count in the 'Counting Thread' they get stronger.
    Each time I lurk around the avatars move in a little tighter.

    Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a thread, and for my sigs
    they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. "



    Two mods click on the Pacers related thread...

    SHADE
    "Doctor Badd? Are you in there ?"

    DR. BADD
    "Yeah."

    DR. BADD (v.o.)
    "It was a real choice thread, and when it was
    over, I'd never want another."


    DR. BADD
    "Whaddya want?"

    SHADE
    "Are you all right Doctor?"

    DR. BADD
    "How does it look like?"

    SHADE
    "Doctor Badd of the Secular Monks?"

    DR. BADD
    "Hey buddy, are you gonna lock that thread?"

    SHADE
    "We have orders to escort you to Club Rio."

    DR. BADD
    "What is the feedback on me?"

    SHADE
    "Sir ?"

    DR. BADD
    "What did I post?"

    SHADE
    "There's no feedback, Doctor. You have orders to report
    to the other Moderators in Club Rio."

    DR. BADD
    "Club Rio?"

    SHADE
    "That's right. Come on doctor, you still have a
    few hours to post what songs you just listened to.Doc?
    kerosene, give me a hand...
    Come on doctor, let's post that song 'Nine in the Afternoon' you just listened to. We're gonna tell someone that it sucks, in we go ..."


    In Club Rio...


    DR. BADD (v.o.)
    "I was going to the worst place in the board, and I didn't even know
    it yet. Threads away and hundreds of pages up a message board that snaked
    through Able's towers like a main circuit cable and plugged straight into
    Anthem. It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of
    Anthem's memory, any more than being back in PD was an accident.
    There is no way to tell his story without telling my own.
    And if his story is really a confession, then so is mine."


    In the briefing thread...

    MAL JOKER COX
    "Come on in.. At ease. Want a name change?"

    DR. BADD
    "No, thank you sir."

    MAL
    "Doctor, have you ever seen this gentleman before ? Met the
    Uncle or myself ?"

    DR. BADD
    "No, sir. Not personally."

    MAL
    "You have posted a lot on your own, haven't you ?"

    DR. BADD
    "Yes, sir. I have."

    MAL
    "Your posts include intelligence, counter-intelligence,
    with humor."

    DR. BADD
    "I'm not presently disposed to discuss these posts, sir."

    MAL
    "Did you not work for the MagicRat?"

    DR. BADD
    "No, sir."

    MAL
    "Did you not remove your Stingray Billboard Avatar? Doctor?"

    DR. BADD
    "Sir, I am unaware of any such post or avatar - nor would
    I be disposed to discuss such an avatar if it did in
    fact exist, sir."

    UNCLE BUCK
    "I thought we'd have a glimpse of a movie while we type.
    I hope you brought your speakers with you.
    You have a bad hand there, are you wounded ?"

    DR. BADD
    "A little tetris accident in the arcade, sir."

    UNCLE BUCK
    "Tetris in the arcade... But you're feeling fit, ready
    for posting?"

    DR. BADD
    "Yes, UB. Very much so sir."

    UNCLE BUCK
    "Let's see what we have here... American Gangster...,
    usually is not bad. Watch some, pass it around.
    Save a little time when we'll watch both versions. Doctor,
    I don't know how you feel about Transformers, but if you'll
    watch it, you never have to prove your courage in any
    other way... I'll take a clip here ..."

    MAL
    "Doctor, you heard of the poster Anthem?"

    DR. BADD
    "Yes, sir, I've heard the name."

    MAL
    "White and Nerdy, with the Eureka avatar."

    UNCLE BUCK
    "Would you play that embedded Youtube clip for the doctor, please.
    Listen carefully."

    MAL
    "This was monitored out of the Feedback Forum. This has been verified
    as Anthem's voice."

    ANTHEM (on youtube)
    "I watched a troll spam along the edge of the Pacers forum. That's my
    dream. That's my nightmare. Flaming, spamming, along the edge of the Pacers forum, and not getting banned. "

    "We must ignore them. We must ban them. Troll after troll, Spammer after
    spammer, board after board, site after site. And they call me an ignorer.
    What do you call it when the ignorees accuse
    the ignorer? They moderate.. and we have to be merciful
    for those who moderate. Those noobs. I ignore them. How I ignore them..."


    UNCLEBUCK
    "Anthem was one of the most outstanding posters this board
    has ever produced. He was a brilliant and outstanding in every way
    and he was a good man too. Humanitarian man, man of wit, of humor.
    Then, he marked Forums Read. After that his ideas, suggestions have
    become unsound... Unsound."

    MAL
    "Now he's crossed into Feedback forum with his minions, who
    worship the man, like a mod, and read every proposed trade no matter how ridiculous."

    UNCLE BUCK
    "Well, I have some other shocking news to tell you. Anthem was about to be cited for impersonating a mod."

    DR. BADD
    "I don't follow sir."

    MAL
    "Anthem had ordered the expulsion of some posters. Men he believed were trolls. So he took matters into his own hands."

    UNCLE BUCK
    "Well, you see Dr. Badd... In this board, things get confused
    out there, trades, signings, the old proboards, and practical
    new member introduction. Out there with these posters it must be
    a temptation to be a mod. Because there's a conflict in
    every human heart between the rational and the irrational,
    between good and evil. The good does not always triumph.
    Sometimes the dark side overcomes what Jermaniac called
    a 'stepped up game life'. Every man has got a
    breaking point. You and I have. Anthem has reached his.
    And very obviously, he has gone insane."

    DR. BADD
    "Yes sir, very much so sir. Obviously insane."

    MAL
    "Your mission is to proceed down the board in your registered account.
    Pick up Anthem's trail at the Feedback forum,
    follow it, learn what you can along the way. When you find
    him, infiltrate his team by whatever means available and
    terminate his account."

    DR. BADD
    "Terminate? Anthem?"

    UNCLE BUCK
    "He's out there surfing without any decent restraint.
    Totally beyond the pale of any acceptable internet conduct.
    And he is still in the board, posting his threads."

    PECK
    "Terminate with extreme ignorance."

    MAL
    "You understand doctor..., that this operation does
    not exist, nor will it ever exist."

    TO BE CONTINUED...
    Last edited by Natston; 05-25-2008, 09:47 AM.
    Edit Signature

  • #2
    Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

    I think this is even better for me because I barely know what the hell's going on. Though I think the last part is Apocalypse Now?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

      Holy cow that's amazing.

      Let me know when you start looking for seed money... I'll want to see the storyboards first but I'm intrigued.
      This space for rent.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

        Read my Pacers blog:
        8points9seconds.com

        Follow my twitter:

        @8pts9secs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

          LOL!!!

          What can i say. . . I love it!!!!!

          I just have one question. How did you get the Secular Monk reference? I don't remember posting any of that here.

          I here by nominate it as POST OF THE YEAR!!!!
          PACER FAN ON STRIKE!!!-The moment the Pacers fire Larry Bird I will cheer for them again.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

            Originally posted by Hicks View Post
            I think this is even better for me because I barely know what the hell's going on. Though I think the last part is Apocalypse Now?
            The whole thing is Apocalypse Now!
            Play Mafia!
            Twitter

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

              awesome!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

                Originally posted by DrBadd01 View Post
                LOL!!!

                What can i say. . . I love it!!!!!

                I just have one question. How did you get the Secular Monk reference? I don't remember posting any of that here.

                I here by nominate it as POST OF THE YEAR!!!!
                Myspace FTW!
                Edit Signature

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

                  Originally posted by Pig Nash View Post
                  The whole thing is Apocalypse Now!
                  Yep. I intend on doing the whole movie, maybe even the Redux version...
                  Edit Signature

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

                    Originally posted by naturallystoned View Post
                    Myspace FTW!
                    Well I like it so far. . . keep it up!
                    PACER FAN ON STRIKE!!!-The moment the Pacers fire Larry Bird I will cheer for them again.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

                      Originally posted by DrBadd01 View Post
                      Well I like it so far. . . keep it up!
                      :thatswhatshesaid:
                      Edit Signature

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

                        I worry that my forum friends may not understand what I've tried to do here through the years.

                        If I should be banned I would want someone to go to them and explain everything. Everything I did, everything you saw, because there's nothing I detest more than the stench of lies


                        PBR Streetgang PBR Streetgang this is allmighty [over]

                        Coordinates ....090264712


                        Last edited by Twes; 05-25-2008, 04:14 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

                          On DR. BADD's computer...

                          DR. BADD (v.o.)
                          "How many posters had I already put on ignore list? There was those six that I know about for sure. Close enough to hear the typing of the their last words. But this time it was a Digester and a Lost fan. That wasn't supposed to make any difference to me, but it did. ****... trying to control a guy on a message board was like Danica Patrick actually trying to fight someone after wrecking in the Indy 500. I took the mission. What the hell else
                          was I gonna do? But I didn't know what I'd do when I found him."



                          On another computer...

                          DR. BADD (v.o.)
                          "I was being surfed through the board on a desktop computer, one way to connect to the internet, pretty common thing for the Digest. They said it was a good way to gather information without drawing a lot of actual human contact . That was OK, but the only problem was I wouldn't be alone."


                          LORD HELMET
                          "Morning doctor."

                          DR. BADD (v.o.)
                          "The crew was mostly just herbs, posters one step away from getting their face fixed."


                          DR. BADD
                          "How old are you ?"

                          LORD HELMET
                          "Eighteen."

                          DR. BADD (v.o.)
                          "The one they called Suaveness, was from Indianapolis.
                          He was too suave for PD, probably too suave
                          for Indianapolis. Duke Dynamite was a famous
                          fanatic from the rocks south of Bedford. You look at him
                          and you wouldn't believe he ever ignored a thread in his whole
                          life. Lord Helmet, Mr. Helmet, was from some Richmond ****hole.
                          Light and space of the Man Train really put the zap on his head.
                          Then there was Gyron. It might have been my
                          mission, but it sure as **** was Gyron's computer."


                          GYRON

                          "There are about two links where we can draw enough
                          bandwidth to get into the feedback forum. They're both hot, belong
                          to the Counters."

                          DR. BADD
                          "Don't worry about it."

                          Dr. Badd offers Gyron a properly resized avatar...

                          GYRON
                          "Don't display those. You know, I've posted a couple of times in
                          here. About six months ago, I quoted a man who was suggesting
                          some changes to the board. He was a regular poster too.
                          Heard he shot his tower, right through the motherboard."


                          We see duke surfing behind on a smartphone...


                          SUAVENESS
                          "Hang on Duke Dynamite!"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Sayonara!"

                          Dr. Badd starts reading Anthem's public profile...

                          DR. BADD (v.o.)
                          "At first, I thought they handed me the wrong profile. I couldn't
                          believe they wanted this man banned. Third generation Graham Mernatsi,
                          top of his cl***. About a thousand QFTs. Etc, etc... I'd heard his voice on youtube and it really put a thumbs down
                          inside me. But I couldn't connect up that voice with this man. Like they
                          said he had an impressive signature. Maybe too impressive... I mean
                          perfect. He was being groomed for one of the top distinctions of the
                          2008 Forum Awards... Sunshine Poster of the Year. In 2007, he returned from the iSpy on the Navbar and things started to slip. The pms to the mods were restricted.

                          Seems they didn't dig what he had to tell them. During
                          the next few months he made three requests for transfer to moderator
                          training in the [Name Reference Removed]. And he was finally accepted.
                          Training? He was anywhere from his 1 to 99 years old.
                          Why the **** would he do that?

                          2008, he rejoined the regular posters, returns to the Digest..."


                          There are sounds of counting in the distance :

                          SUAVENESS
                          "Hey, whatīs that ?"

                          DR. BADD
                          "Prime Numbers. 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47."

                          SUAVENESS

                          "Every time I hear those odd prime numbers, something terrible happens."

                          LORD HELMET
                          "The counters won't even see or hear them, man."

                          SUAVENESS
                          "Something terrible is going to happen."

                          LORD HELMET
                          "Words! Sentences being posted."

                          GYRON
                          "Smilies over there! A lots of Smilies."

                          DR. BADD
                          "Let's have a look Gyron."

                          On the blue line between Club Rio and the Feedback forum...

                          DR. BADD (v.o.)
                          "It was the 2008 Rookie of the Year nominees, our human shields for the
                          link to the feedback forums. But they were supposed to be waiting
                          for us another 30 pages ahead. Well, those noobs just
                          couldn't stay put. These guys and/or gals were a new crop
                          that had cashed in their IP Addresses for screen names, and gone tear-assing
                          around PD, looking for the ****. They've given the Counters a few
                          surprises in their time here. What they were quoting now
                          hadn't even been posted for an hour."


                          Btowncolt is lurking...

                          BTOWNCOLT
                          "Don't look at the web cams, don't look at the web cams...
                          Go on through... Don't look at the web cams.. Go by just like
                          you're posting..."

                          DR. BADD
                          "Where can I find the R.O.Y?"

                          SOME USELESS POSTER
                          "He's over there ."

                          DR. BADD
                          "Doctor Badd. I carry priority posts from the Mods.
                          I understand that Club Rio has briefed you of requirements of my
                          mission."

                          KESTER 99
                          "What mission ? I haven't heard from Club Rio."

                          DR. BADD
                          "Sir, your group is supposed to escort us into Feedback forum."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Well, we'll see what we can do about that. But stay out
                          of my way."

                          Kester 99 walks to a group of logged out Counters...


                          KESTER 99
                          "What we have here... , ,
                          , ,. Isn't one
                          worth a in the whole bunch..."

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Hey doctor, what's that ?"

                          DR. BADD
                          "Smilie only responses."

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "What?"

                          DR. BADD
                          "Smilie only responses. Let's the Counters know what we think without words."

                          A depressed looking rookie sits in the ground...

                          KESTER 99
                          "Cheer up GrangerRanger."

                          The other posters that no one cares about are being evacuated...

                          MEGAPHONE
                          "We are hear to extend a welcome hand for those of you who
                          wish to return to arms of The Hicks Moderation...
                          This area is controlled by the Counters..."

                          Kester 99 walks to a wounded counter...

                          KESTER 99
                          "Hey what's this ? What is this ?"

                          SOLDIER
                          "This poster is ignored pretty bad, sir. About the only thing that
                          is holding his posts here, sir, is that quote."

                          KESTER 99
                          "What you gotta say ?"

                          SOME RANDOM EXTRA
                          "This man is a dirty counter. He wants to be read? He can post at starnews."

                          KESTER 99

                          "Get out of here ! Gimme that browser.
                          Get outta here or I kick your ****ing *** !
                          Any man brave enough to post that stuff can
                          be read by me any day."

                          ANOTHER EXTRA
                          "Hey kest, I think one of those guys is Duke Dynamite the fanatic of the year."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Are you sure?"

                          Kester 99 walks to Duke Dynamite, completely forgetting the wounded newman8r...

                          KESTER 99
                          "What's your name poster ?"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Poster's mate 3rd class D.Dynamite, sir."

                          LORD HELMET
                          "Poster's mate 3rd class ..."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Duke Dynamite the fanatic of the year?"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Yes, sir."

                          KESTER 99
                          "It's an honor to meet you Duke Dynamite. I've admired your fanaticism for
                          weeks. I like your Mike Dunleavy sig too. I think you have the best Mike Dunleavy sig there is."

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Thank you, sir."

                          KESTER 99
                          "You can out that sir crap, I'm Kester99.
                          These guys with you ?

                          KESTER 99 introduces DUKE DYNAMITE to some of his men...

                          KESTER 99
                          Pianoman, Count55. Pretty solid fans,
                          none of us aren't anywhere near your class though. We
                          do a lot of posting here. I like to finish operations early. We click over
                          to the Indiana Fever forum for evening. Have you been there since you
                          came here?"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "No way."

                          Evening, a Pants Party...

                          DR. BADD (v.o.)
                          "Kester99 had a pretty good day for himself. They embedded music and video clips and turned the area into a party.
                          The more they tried to make it just like their homepage, the more they
                          made everybody miss it."


                          KESTER 99
                          "I want my movie reference rare, rare but not old."

                          DR. BADD (v.o.)
                          "He wasn't a bad poster, I guess. He loved his boys and they
                          felt safe with him. He was one of those guys that had a
                          weird signature below him. You just knew he wasn't gonna get
                          so much as a bad feedback post here."


                          KESTER 99
                          "What happened to your mission, doctor? Did Club Rio forget all about you ?"

                          DR. BADD
                          "Sir, two links we can get into the forum. Here and here. It's
                          pretty big page but these are the only two links I'm really
                          sure of."

                          KESTER 99
                          "That one your pointing at is kinda hairy, Doctor."

                          DR. BADD
                          "What do you mean hairy, sir ?"

                          KESTER 99
                          "It's hairy. Got some pretty heavy counting going on there. I lost a few priceless posts there now and again. Is that ******* link http://www.pacersdigest.com/apache2-...isplay.php?f=4
                          or http://www.pacersdigest.com/apache2-...splay.php?f=16 ? Damn PD names all sound the same.
                          Pianoman, do you know anything about that point at http://www.pacersdigest.com/apache2-...isplay.php?f=4 ?"

                          PIANOMAN
                          "That's a fantastic link. "

                          KESTER 99
                          "Fantastic?"

                          PIANOMAN
                          "Yeah, it's 'bout eight letters. It's got questions, comments, and complaints that go there, it's just a Feedback City..."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Well why the hell didn't you tell me that before ? There aren't any
                          good venting places in this whole,****ty board. It's all ******* sports and entertainment discussion."

                          PIANOMAN
                          "It's really hairy in there,sir. That's where we lost jeffg-body
                          - they counted the hell out of us. That's Counter's point."

                          DR. BADD
                          "Sir, we can click there tomorrow at dawn. There's always good off-shore bandwidth in the morning."

                          GYRON
                          "We may not be able to get the upload in. The loading time might be too slow.."

                          KESTER 99
                          "We'll pick your browser up and put it down like a baby, right
                          where you want it. This is the 2008 Rookie of the Year nominees, son.
                          We can take that link and post there as long as I like -- and you can
                          get anywhere you want in that forum that suits you, young doctor.
                          Hell, an eight letter link.

                          You take a browser back to the Colts forum -- Pianoman, take Duke Dynamite with you -- let him pick out a new smart phone, and bring me my Iphone."

                          PIANOMAN
                          "I don't know, sir -- it's -- it's --"

                          KESTER 99
                          "What is it poster?

                          PIANOMAN

                          "It's pretty hairy in there - it's Counter's point..."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Counters don't post from their phones!"


                          In the landing zone...

                          SUAVENESS
                          "Hey Jesus, Lord Helmet. You ain't gonna believe this. Look."

                          LORD HELMET
                          "Hey man, they're dragging the browser."

                          KESTER 99
                          "How you feeling iPacer ?"

                          IPACER
                          "Like a mean mother****er, sir."

                          KESTER 99
                          "All right son, let it boot up."


                          On the laptop...

                          KESTER 99
                          "I've never been used to the smaller phone. I can't get used
                          to it. Do you prefer smaller or bigger phone?"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Bigger."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Really ? I thought all the young guys like smaller ones."

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "You can't get the qwerty keyboard..."

                          IPACER
                          "We've got the link spotted."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Assume clicking formation."

                          IPACER
                          "That's a roger. Ok, we're clicking on."

                          KESTER 99
                          "We'll come in high, out of the 'Too many stickys' thread, and about a thread or two out, we'll put on the music... Yeah, I use Saliva -- scares the hell out of the threads! My boys love it !"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Hey, they're gonna play music."

                          SUAVENESS
                          "Why do all you guys click on the Remember Me? box?"

                          DGR
                          "So we don't get our passwords blown off."


                          The browsers arrive at their target...

                          KESTER 99
                          "Put on operations, make it loud. Shall we dance?"

                          Saliva's Click Click Boom starts blasting away from the speakers.

                          The rookies start clicking ...


                          LORD HELMET
                          "Run Counters!"

                          IPACER
                          "We've spotted a large number down below. We're going to check
                          it out."

                          They destroy a 38...

                          KESTER 99
                          "Outstanding team, outstanding. Get you a case of
                          for that."

                          IPACER

                          "We're over the sub-forum right now, I think I see a browser minimized,
                          I'm gonna check it out."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Well done, pacers, well done. Click on those unread posts,
                          click the **** out of them."

                          IPACER
                          "Got a thread down the page, with 47 replies attached..."

                          KESTER 99
                          "There they are, I'm clicking on myself..."

                          Opens a thread that's half way down the page...

                          SOME BROWN NOSING EXTRA
                          "Nice click Kest."

                          A gets in KESTER 99's chopper...

                          KESTER 99
                          "It's just a , get it out, it's just a . Everybody all right ?
                          Duke, are you all right ?"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Fine."

                          In the feedback forum...

                          GRANGERRANGER
                          "I'm not clicking ! I'm not clicking !"

                          IPACER
                          "We got smilies down there ..."

                          A wounded rookie lies on the ground...


                          DGR
                          "Get the over here... Gimme some .
                          Where's that browser?"

                          KESTER 99

                          "I want my ignored out there into the Pacers forum in 15
                          minutes. I want my men out !"

                          Rcarey throws a 26 into a browser...

                          KESTER 99
                          "****ing savages !"

                          IPACER

                          "Holy christ, savages... I'm gonna get that Frakin' *****. Put the three
                          right on his ***...."

                          IPACER
                          "Those threads... We need clicking on threads.
                          Drawing numbers, drawing numbers - taking hits... Mayday, mayday...
                          I'm going in - my mouse is hit. I got control..."

                          KESTER 99

                          "What do you think ?"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "Well, it's really exciting."

                          KESTER 99
                          "No, no. The Fever threads... Some totally un-clicked"

                          Still in the feedback forum...

                          COUNT55
                          "Incoming !"

                          COUNT55
                          "This place is still pretty hot. Maybe we should
                          surf someplace else."

                          KESTER 99
                          "What do you know about web surfing?"

                          "Come here. Come here ! Browse !"

                          COUNT55
                          "Mean right now, sir ?"

                          KESTER 9
                          9
                          "I wanna see how readable that stuff is. Go browse!"

                          COUNT55
                          "It's still pretty hairy out there sir."

                          KESTER 99
                          "You wanna web surf poster?"

                          COUNT55

                          "Yes, sir."

                          KESTER 99

                          "That's good, son. 'Cause you either browse or ignore. That clear ?
                          Now get going. I cover for you. And bring a mouse for Duke Dynamite.
                          Duke Dynamite, I bet you can't wait to get in there. See, you can click
                          both ways. One guy can click right, one left click simultaneous.
                          What do you think of that ?"

                          DUKE DYNAMITE
                          "I think we oughta wait for the bandwidth to come up."

                          KESTER 99

                          "Duke Dynamite, come here. Look, look... The bandwidth doesn't come
                          in for six hours. You wanna wait here for six hours ?"

                          We see two posters browsing...

                          KESTER 99

                          "OK fellows, quit hiding. Ok, let's go pistonheads."

                          DR. BADD
                          "Don't you think it's a little risky for browsing ?"

                          KESTER 99
                          "If I say it's safe to browse this page, doctor - it's safe to
                          browse this page. I'm not afraid to browse this page, I'm not
                          afraid to browse this ****ing page."


                          KESTER 99 types up a pm...

                          KESTER 99
                          "*******, I want those threads clicked!"

                          KEGBOY
                          "Roger. Standby."

                          KESTER 99
                          "Quote them to starnews, son."

                          KEGBOY

                          "They need some consonants and vowels on those threads down there. Can
                          you put them down there ?"

                          GRACE
                          "Roger. We'll suppress some posts off the threads down there."

                          KEGBOY
                          "Roger. Give all you got and bring all your browsers back."

                          GRACE
                          "Don't worry, we'll have this place ignore listed up and ready
                          for us in a jiffy, don't you worry."

                          KEGBOY
                          "We will post in 30 seconds. Get your people back and
                          heads down. This is gonna be a big one."

                          After the letter attack...

                          KESTER 99
                          "You see that? Do you see that? Consonants, son. Nothing
                          else in the world reads like that. I love to read consonants
                          in the morning. You know, one time we had a thread being posted in, for
                          twelve hours. When it was all over I scrolled up. We didn't
                          find one of 'em, not one stinkin' counter post. The letters, you know
                          the vowel less letters, the whole thread. Read like - Thnks fr th Mmrs.

                          Someday the 'Ignore this thread' thread is gonna end."
                          Last edited by Natston; 05-25-2008, 07:48 PM.
                          Edit Signature

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

                            ...can't wait for part 3!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: IGNORE THIS THREAD: THE MOVIE

                              Hilarious!

                              Edit: can we get Kate Hudson to play my part? She's hot!

                              huh? It should be a guy playing me?

                              Ok, How about Btown, I guesshe's freakish enough to convey my appearance

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