The Rules of Pacers Digest

Hello everyone,

Whether your are a long standing forum member or whether you have just registered today, it's a good idea to read and review the rules below so that you have a very good idea of what to expect when you come to Pacers Digest.

A quick note to new members: Your posts will not immediately show up when you make them. An administrator has to approve at least your first post before the forum software will later upgrade your account to the status of a fully-registered member. This usually happens within a couple of hours or so after your post(s) is/are approved, so you may need to be a little patient at first.

Why do we do this? So that it's more difficult for spammers (be they human or robot) to post, and so users who are banned cannot immediately re-register and start dousing people with verbal flames.

Below are the rules of Pacers Digest. After you have read them, you will have a very good sense of where we are coming from, what we expect, what we don't want to see, and how we react to things.

Rule #1

Pacers Digest is intended to be a place to discuss basketball without having to deal with the kinds of behaviors or attitudes that distract people from sticking with the discussion of the topics at hand. These unwanted distractions can come in many forms, and admittedly it can sometimes be tricky to pin down each and every kind that can rear its ugly head, but we feel that the following examples and explanations cover at least a good portion of that ground and should at least give people a pretty good idea of the kinds of things we actively discourage:

"Anyone who __________ is a liar / a fool / an idiot / a blind homer / has their head buried in the sand / a blind hater / doesn't know basketball / doesn't watch the games"

"People with intelligence will agree with me when I say that __________"

"Only stupid people think / believe / do ___________"

"I can't wait to hear something from PosterX when he/she sees that **insert a given incident or current event that will have probably upset or disappointed PosterX here**"

"He/she is just delusional"

"This thread is stupid / worthless / embarrassing"

"I'm going to take a moment to point and / laugh at PosterX / GroupOfPeopleY who thought / believed *insert though/belief here*"

"Remember when PosterX said OldCommentY that no longer looks good? "

In general, if a comment goes from purely on topic to something 'ad hominem' (personal jabs, personal shots, attacks, flames, however you want to call it, towards a person, or a group of people, or a given city/state/country of people), those are most likely going to be found intolerable.

We also dissuade passive aggressive behavior. This can be various things, but common examples include statements that are basically meant to imply someone is either stupid or otherwise incapable of holding a rational conversation. This can include (but is not limited to) laughing at someone's conclusions rather than offering an honest rebuttal, asking people what game they were watching, or another common problem is Poster X will say "that player isn't that bad" and then Poster Y will say something akin to "LOL you think that player is good". We're not going to tolerate those kinds of comments out of respect for the community at large and for the sake of trying to just have an honest conversation.

Now, does the above cover absolutely every single kind of distraction that is unwanted? Probably not, but you should by now have a good idea of the general types of things we will be discouraging. The above examples are meant to give you a good feel for / idea of what we're looking for. If something new or different than the above happens to come along and results in the same problem (that being, any other attitude or behavior that ultimately distracts from actually just discussing the topic at hand, or that is otherwise disrespectful to other posters), we can and we will take action to curb this as well, so please don't take this to mean that if you managed to technically avoid saying something exactly like one of the above examples that you are then somehow off the hook.

That all having been said, our goal is to do so in a generally kind and respectful way, and that doesn't mean the moment we see something we don't like that somebody is going to be suspended or banned, either. It just means that at the very least we will probably say something about it, quite possibly snipping out the distracting parts of the post in question while leaving alone the parts that are actually just discussing the topics, and in the event of a repeating or excessive problem, then we will start issuing infractions to try to further discourage further repeat problems, and if it just never seems to improve, then finally suspensions or bans will come into play. We would prefer it never went that far, and most of the time for most of our posters, it won't ever have to.

A slip up every once and a while is pretty normal, but, again, when it becomes repetitive or excessive, something will be done. Something occasional is probably going to be let go (within reason), but when it starts to become habitual or otherwise a pattern, odds are very good that we will step in.

There's always a small minority that like to push people's buttons and/or test their own boundaries with regards to the administrators, and in the case of someone acting like that, please be aware that this is not a court of law, but a private website run by people who are simply trying to do the right thing as they see it. If we feel that you are a special case that needs to be dealt with in an exceptional way because your behavior isn't explicitly mirroring one of our above examples of what we generally discourage, we can and we will take atypical action to prevent this from continuing if you are not cooperative with us.

Also please be aware that you will not be given a pass simply by claiming that you were 'only joking,' because quite honestly, when someone really is just joking, for one thing most people tend to pick up on the joke, including the person or group that is the target of the joke, and for another thing, in the event where an honest joke gets taken seriously and it upsets or angers someone, the person who is truly 'only joking' will quite commonly go out of his / her way to apologize and will try to mend fences. People who are dishonest about their statements being 'jokes' do not do so, and in turn that becomes a clear sign of what is really going on. It's nothing new.

In any case, quite frankly, the overall quality and health of the entire forum's community is more important than any one troublesome user will ever be, regardless of exactly how a problem is exhibiting itself, and if it comes down to us having to make a choice between you versus the greater health and happiness of the entire community, the community of this forum will win every time.

Lastly, there are also some posters, who are generally great contributors and do not otherwise cause any problems, who sometimes feel it's their place to provoke or to otherwise 'mess with' that small minority of people described in the last paragraph, and while we possibly might understand why you might feel you WANT to do something like that, the truth is we can't actually tolerate that kind of behavior from you any more than we can tolerate the behavior from them. So if we feel that you are trying to provoke those other posters into doing or saying something that will get themselves into trouble, then we will start to view you as a problem as well, because of the same reason as before: The overall health of the forum comes first, and trying to stir the pot with someone like that doesn't help, it just makes it worse. Some will simply disagree with this philosophy, but if so, then so be it because ultimately we have to do what we think is best so long as it's up to us.

If you see a problem that we haven't addressed, the best and most appropriate course for a forum member to take here is to look over to the left of the post in question. See underneath that poster's name, avatar, and other info, down where there's a little triangle with an exclamation point (!) in it? Click that. That allows you to report the post to the admins so we can definitely notice it and give it a look to see what we feel we should do about it. Beyond that, obviously it's human nature sometimes to want to speak up to the poster in question who has bothered you, but we would ask that you try to refrain from doing so because quite often what happens is two or more posters all start going back and forth about the original offending post, and suddenly the entire thread is off topic or otherwise derailed. So while the urge to police it yourself is understandable, it's best to just report it to us and let us handle it. Thank you!

All of the above is going to be subject to a case by case basis, but generally and broadly speaking, this should give everyone a pretty good idea of how things will typically / most often be handled.

Rule #2

If the actions of an administrator inspire you to make a comment, criticism, or express a concern about it, there is a wrong place and a couple of right places to do so.

The wrong place is to do so in the original thread in which the administrator took action. For example, if a post gets an infraction, or a post gets deleted, or a comment within a larger post gets clipped out, in a thread discussing Paul George, the wrong thing to do is to distract from the discussion of Paul George by adding your off topic thoughts on what the administrator did.

The right places to do so are:

A) Start a thread about the specific incident you want to talk about on the Feedback board. This way you are able to express yourself in an area that doesn't throw another thread off topic, and this way others can add their two cents as well if they wish, and additionally if there's something that needs to be said by the administrators, that is where they will respond to it.

B) Send a private message to the administrators, and they can respond to you that way.

If this is done the wrong way, those comments will be deleted, and if it's a repeating problem then it may also receive an infraction as well.

Rule #3

If a poster is bothering you, and an administrator has not or will not deal with that poster to the extent that you would prefer, you have a powerful tool at your disposal, one that has recently been upgraded and is now better than ever: The ability to ignore a user.

When you ignore a user, you will unfortunately still see some hints of their existence (nothing we can do about that), however, it does the following key things:

A) Any post they make will be completely invisible as you scroll through a thread.

B) The new addition to this feature: If someone QUOTES a user you are ignoring, you do not have to read who it was, or what that poster said, unless you go out of your way to click on a link to find out who it is and what they said.

To utilize this feature, from any page on Pacers Digest, scroll to the top of the page, look to the top right where it says 'Settings' and click that. From the settings page, look to the left side of the page where it says 'My Settings', and look down from there until you see 'Edit Ignore List' and click that. From here, it will say 'Add a Member to Your List...' Beneath that, click in the text box to the right of 'User Name', type in or copy & paste the username of the poster you are ignoring, and once their name is in the box, look over to the far right and click the 'Okay' button. All done!

Rule #4

Regarding infractions, currently they carry a value of one point each, and that point will expire in 31 days. If at any point a poster is carrying three points at the same time, that poster will be suspended until the oldest of the three points expires.

Rule #5

When you share or paste content or articles from another website, you must include the URL/link back to where you found it, who wrote it, and what website it's from. Said content will be removed if this doesn't happen.

An example:

If I copy and paste an article from the Indianapolis Star website, I would post something like this:
Title of the Article
Author's Name
Indianapolis Star

Rule #6

We cannot tolerate illegal videos on Pacers Digest. This means do not share any links to them, do not mention any websites that host them or link to them, do not describe how to find them in any way, and do not ask about them. Posts doing anything of the sort will be removed, the offenders will be contacted privately, and if the problem becomes habitual, you will be suspended, and if it still persists, you will probably be banned.

The legal means of watching or listening to NBA games are NBA League Pass Broadband (for US, or for International; both cost money) and NBA Audio League Pass (which is free). Look for them on

Rule #7

Provocative statements in a signature, or as an avatar, or as the 'tagline' beneath a poster's username (where it says 'Member' or 'Administrator' by default, if it is not altered) are an unwanted distraction that will more than likely be removed on sight. There can be shades of gray to this, but in general this could be something political or religious that is likely going to provoke or upset people, or otherwise something that is mean-spirited at the expense of a poster, a group of people, or a population.

It may or may not go without saying, but this goes for threads and posts as well, particularly when it's not made on the off-topic board (Market Square).

We do make exceptions if we feel the content is both innocuous and unlikely to cause social problems on the forum (such as wishing someone a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter), and we also also make exceptions if such topics come up with regards to a sports figure (such as the Lance Stephenson situation bringing up discussions of domestic abuse and the law, or when Jason Collins came out as gay and how that lead to some discussion about gay rights).

However, once the discussion seems to be more/mostly about the political issues instead of the sports figure or his specific situation, the thread is usually closed.

Rule #8

We prefer self-restraint and/or modesty when making jokes or off topic comments in a sports discussion thread. They can be fun, but sometimes they derail or distract from a topic, and we don't want to see that happen. If we feel it is a problem, we will either delete or move those posts from the thread.

Rule #9

Generally speaking, we try to be a "PG-13" rated board, and we don't want to see sexual content or similarly suggestive content. Vulgarity is a more muddled issue, though again we prefer things to lean more towards "PG-13" than "R". If we feel things have gone too far, we will step in.

Rule #10

We like small signatures, not big signatures. The bigger the signature, the more likely it is an annoying or distracting signature.

Rule #11

Do not advertise anything without talking about it with the administrators first. This includes advertising with your signature, with your avatar, through private messaging, and/or by making a thread or post.
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Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

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  • Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

    here is a series of transcripts Yahoo! Basketball Expert Kelley Dwyer has recently published. i posted one in the kidd thread but felt like something as fantastic as a few of these deserved a specific thread. they include:(linked to below to make the post easier to read)
    Last edited by avoidingtheclowns; 01-29-2008, 04:59 PM.
    This is the darkest timeline.

  • #2
    Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

    Shocking dialogue: Jason Kidd meets with Rod Thorn
    By Kelly Dwyer
    Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 12:15 pm EST

    Jason Kidd wants out of New Jersey, and Nets personnel boss Rod Thorn is more than willing to aid in any transaction that eases Kidd out of a Net uniform. The other day, Kidd's agent Jeff Schwartz told Thorn of Kidd's demand to be traded, and yesterday Kidd followed up on the demand in a meeting with Thorn.

    You might not believe it, but we have the transcript in hand

    Jason Kidd: Jeff told you, huh?

    Rod Thorn: Yes sir.

    Kidd: Preferably, I'd like to go to the Lakers, Yankees, Mavericks, Heat, or Celtics.

    Thorn: Yankees?

    Kidd: Or Red Sox.

    Thorn: The baseball-Boston Red Sox?

    Kidd: I don't want Jason Collins to be traded with me. Dude steals my triple-doubles.

    Thorn: What does that mean?

    Kidd: A triple-double is when you get double-figures in points, rebounds, and assists.

    Thorn: I know that, I meant ...

    Kidd: No teams with blue uniforms.

    Thorn: Have you seen what Dallas wears?

    Kidd: On the flight out, I want an aisle seat. Something light for a in-flight entertainment. "Daddy Day Care" or that Rock movie with the girl and the ball with the sparkles.

    Thorn: Jason, I'm going to have to stop you there.

    Kidd: Nothing can stop me on my way to a championship. That's what I was put on Earth to do.

    Thorn: Jason, you're not being interviewed, stop it. You do realize how hard it is to trade someone who makes as much money as you, right? You're making 19.7 million dollars this season.

    Kidd: Yeah. I'm awesome.

    Thorn: Be that as it may, we have to match that salary in any trade we make.

    Kidd: Kwame makes that much.

    Thorn: Kwame doesn't make that much. Very few people do.

    Kidd: You make that much.

    Thorn: No, I don't.

    Kidd: Know why?

    Thorn: Why, Jason?


    Thorn: Great. Either way, there's not a lot we can do under NBA salary cap law that could ease you into a new team.

    Kidd: I break laws all the time. I don't even have draft picks to do it with.

    Thorn: What?

    Kidd: I mean, it's easier for you to break a law, because you can just send someone a draft pick to make up for it.

    Thorn: No, I mean, you break laws all the time?

    Kidd: Did you see where I parked today? Look. (Points to a window, Thorn peers outside.)

    Thorn: Right on the sidewalk. Ran over some kid's bike, too.
    (Kidd beams.)

    Thorn: Brav-o.

    Kidd: Not even my car. It's Josh Boone's car. I took it, I'm keeping it. Josh Boone gets NO TRIP-LE DOUB-LES!

    Thorn: You know, Malik Allen called me about this same sort of thing last month, and I just thought he was joking, or drunk, or both.

    Kidd: Patriots!

    Thorn: You like the Patriots on Sunday?

    Kidd: You can trade me to the Patriots, broseph.

    Thorn: No. No, I can't.

    Kidd: Salary cap law? I told you: draft picks!

    Thorn: Yeah, it doesn't work that way. Not without hurting my team. Not without taking back contracts of players that I don't want. Not without having to trade for Lamar Odom ...


    Thorn: Or Jason Terry ...


    Thorn: Or Nene Hilario ...

    Kidd: NO TRIP-LE ... oh. My thoughts and prayers are with him, and his family. He just wants to win a championship, like me. That's all we're in it for.

    Thorn: Jason, again, no reporters are here.

    Kidd: What if you traded half of me to a team, like with Vince Carter, and I could play half the time with the Lakers for half-price, and part of the time with the Nets?

    Thorn: I don't know where to start. "Like with Vince Carter?"

    Kidd: You know how he plays with the Raptors on the off days?

    Thorn: He doesn't play with the Raptors. He's been a Net since December of 2004!

    Kidd: He seems awfully tired. I just assumed.

    Thorn: I honestly can't fault you, there.

    Kidd: What if I go to David Stern, and say, like, "hey, David Stern. I'll give you, like, 14 triple-doubles if you let me go to the Lakers?"

    Thorn: How do you give someone a triple-double?

    Kidd: Just gave the Nuggets one.

    Thorn: Oh, I get it.

    Kidd: Gave the Bobcats two, gave the Magic one, the Hawks one, gave triple-doubles to the whole damn Eastern seaboard.

    Thorn: And what would David Stern do with his 14 triple-doubles?

    Kidd: Whatever the hell he wants! Steal some [stuff] from the Cheesecake Factory, cold-**** a red-headed dude just for the hell of it, burn [stuff] ... it's a triple-double!

    Thorn: I really wish I'd, you know, engaged in an actual conversation with you before signing that contract extension.

    Kidd: '85 Bears!

    Thorn: You want me to trade you to a football team from 23 years ago.

    Kidd: The Triple-Double Shuffle! (Rapping) "My name is J-Kidd, and I like to pass. Rippin' triple-doubles is better than ro-mance ..."

    Thorn: You know who could really use some triple-doubles? The Hawks.

    Kidd: I'm just here to win a championship. It's my life's ambition, and a dream I've had since I was a child. I'll do it anything for it.

    Thorn: Did you just set my desk on fire?,64142
    This is the darkest timeline.


    • #3
      Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

      Shocking dialogue: Chris Webber and Don Nelson, together again

      By Kelly Dwyer
      Monday, Jan 28, 2008 1:03 pm EST

      Reports out of the Bay Area have the Golden State Warriors near a deal to sign ex-Warrior Chris Webber to a free agent deal. This would reunite Webber with his one-time nemesis, then and current Warriors coach, Don Nelson.

      The duo met last week at Webber's Sacramento-area restaurant, and we have to apologize to whoever created this back-and-forth. Thanks to a mole who was hired by Yahoo! to camp out in a dumbwaiter, we're able to bring you the chilling conversation that sealed the deal

      Don Nelson: Hey Chris.

      Chris Webber: Coach.

      Nellie: Nice place.

      C-Webb: Yeah, it's turned out pretty well. Did you get a drink?

      Nellie: Yeah.

      C-Webb: We have, y'know, the Johnny Walker Blue here.

      Nellie: No, it's cool. I've a ride back. Plenty of little bottles in the back of the limo.

      C-Webb: Cool.

      Nellie: Yeah.

      C-Webb: So Mullin wants me?

      Nellie: Guess so.

      C-Webb: You cool with that?

      Nellie: Whatever.

      C-Webb: Because the Pistons ...

      Nellie: Just stop.

      C-Webb: Yeah.

      (12 second pause.)

      C-Webb: They don't want me.

      Nellie: I know.

      C-Webb: What'd you guys get for me, originally?

      Nellie: Tom Gugliotta.

      C-Webb: Good player.

      Nellie: Good player.

      C-Webb: And you turned him into ... ?

      Nellie: They turned him into Donyell Marshall.

      C-Webb: You weren't around then. And the Warriors got ...

      Nellie: Danny Fortson and Adam Keefe. Four-way deal. I wasn't around for that.

      C-Webb: No, no. It's cool. Just curious. You were with the Knicks, by then, right?

      Nellie: No. I was with the Knicks during the Googs-for-Marshall deal.

      C-Webb: Right, right. The Knicks. Anthony Mason as point forward, right?

      Nellie: Yeah.

      C-Webb: Convince Patrick to play off the ball?

      Nellie: Yeah.

      C-Webb: Yeah.

      Nellie: Can you still dunk?

      C-Webb: Yes.

      Nellie: Cool. Just asking.

      C-Webb: After the Knicks ... that was Dallas, right?

      Nellie: Yeah.

      C-Webb: Traded Sam Cassell, Jim Jackson, a bunch of guys for Shawn Bradley.

      Nellie: It was an 11-player deal. There's a lot more to it than ...

      C-Webb: But he was the main cog, right?

      Nellie: Yeah.

      C-Webb: But, you got rid of Chris Gatling. All-Star that same month. Traded him at his peak for Bradley, right? Good deal.

      Nellie: Are you still with Tyra, or ...

      C-Webb: No, but we're cool.

      Nellie: Is she on your cell phone? Could we call her? Could we talk to her, say, right now ... or do you have to call into her office?

      C-Webb: No, but we're cool.

      Nellie: That's good. That's good.

      C-Webb: Yeah.

      Nellie: I do have to say, it was a shame the way the refs let Samaki Walker guard you in the 2002 playoffs. I mean, there's no way Samaki Walker could stop Chris Webber from getting 30 and 15. No way he could stop you from getting to the Finals.

      C-Webb: Yeah, well, that thing wasn't fair. Ralph Nader, in fact, put together a protest on our behalf.

      Nellie: I hear he had to do that for Bob Pettit, after the 1958 Finals.

      C-Webb: Really?

      Nellie: No.

      C-Webb: Yeah. Kind of set myself up for that one.

      Nellie: Yeah.

      C-Webb: Let the son pass on re-signing Steve Nash in order to grab Erick Dampier?

      Nellie: Are you still in touch with any of your 76ers teammates? You did play for them, right? I want to see what Calvin Booth is up to.

      C-Webb: Why didn't you keep that mustache? That looked good.

      Nellie: Did you shoot a free throw last year, or was that ...

      C-Webb: Do you ask Baron Davis to stop shooting threes, or does he just hit you a lot?

      Nellie: Has Michigan paid off its student-athlete loan, yet?

      C-Webb: Did the NBA outlaw fish ties, or did they just manage to stop the Dewar's truck from hitting Milwaukee, first?

      Nellie: Are you not allowed to show your championship rings at the restaurant, or ...

      C-Webb: Are you only allowed to see yours once Dave Cowens has his yearly "Salsabration?"

      Nellie: "Salsabration?"

      C-Webb: It's a celebration, with lots of Mexican food and chips and salsa and the championship rings you earned off of his hard work.

      Nellie: First of all, it's called "Cinco de Mustache," and that's where we don't shave for a month and show up on the fifth of July with our best mustaches, and secondly ... I don't know why I'm telling you this.

      C-Webb: Because you want to sign me.

      Nellie: I'm bored.

      C-Webb: I know you are. It's cool.

      Nellie: Seriously?

      C-Webb: Yeah.

      Nellie: Sorry about trading for Billy Owens.

      C-Webb: He had skills.

      Nellie: So did you.

      C-Webb: What?

      Nellie: Nothing.

      C-Webb: I don't want to play defense, rebound, or play in the low post.

      Nellie: I don't like defense, rebounding, or you.

      C-Webb: What?

      Nellie: You ... playing in the low post. If you're going to come back, you'll have to stop interrupting me.

      C-Webb: Can I wear number 75? My cousin saw it in a dream about a license plate that was on the back of a swordfish.

      Nellie: Does Austin Croshere wear a piece?

      C-Webb: Deal. (To a waitress, who isn't listening) A Johnny Walker Blue neat, and a new round of mini southwestern wraps for my new coach!

      Nellie: Do you want to work past May?

      C-Webb: No.

      Nellie: Cool.,63896
      This is the darkest timeline.


      • #4
        Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

        Shocking dialogue: the Miami Heat bench, 1-24-08

        By Kelly Dwyer
        Friday, Jan 25, 2008 4:35 pm EST

        Shaquille O'Neal: Yo, Zo?

        Alonzo Mourning: Yes, Shaq?

        Shaq: Who's this guy sittin' next to me?

        Zo: He can hear you, man, be quiet. That's Joel Anthony.

        Shaq: Joel Anthony?

        Joel Anthony: Yeah?

        Shaq: Nothin'. Hey, Zo?

        Zo: Yeah, Shaq?

        Shaq: What happened to Mark Blount?

        Zo: He's out there, playing. He had 15 points in the first half. You pointed him out to me, "the tall dude talkin' to Craig Sager ...," remember?

        Shaq: No.

        Zo: Yeah, well, he's out there.

        Shaq: Hey, Zo?

        Zo: Yes, Shaq?

        Shaq: I don't like Mark Blount.

        Zo: Don't say that, man.

        Shaq: I was getting a little upset because I thought Joel Anthony ...

        Joel Anthony: Yes?

        Shaq: Nothin'. (Whispers) Because I thought I was sitting next to Mark Blount, I mean Mark Blount, and I don't like Mark Blount. You think his last name is "Blount" like "oww," but it's "blunt" like the things Jermaine O'Neal got caught with.

        Zo: Jermaine O'Neal?

        Shaq: Yeah. Dude smokes weed.

        Zo: You mean David Harrison?

        Shaq: Got caught with some Mark Blounts?

        Zo: Yeah. Plays for the Pacers.

        Shaq: He doesn't play. He got suspended. For weed.

        Zo: You know what I mean.

        Shaq: Yeah, but do you know what I mean?

        Zo: Whatever, man.

        Shaq: EXACTLY.

        (Eight seconds pass.)

        Shaq: Hey Zo?

        Zo: Yes, Shaq.

        Shaq: Remember that song I did with Fu-Schnickens? About how I was the first pick in the draft?

        Zo: Yes, Shaq.

        Shaq: I wasn't being bragadocious.

        Zo: I know, Shaq. It's cool.

        Shaq: Really?

        Zo: Really.

        Shaq: Because I WAS the first pick. Not you, not Christian Laettner.

        Zo: I know, Shaq. I'm cool with it.

        Shaq: For real?

        Zo: I didn't like how you rhymed my last name with "word is born, and."

        Shaq: What?

        Zo: Nothing, Shaq. It was a good song.

        Shaq: I thought so. Better than Kobe's.

        Zo: Yes, Shaq. It was better than Kobe's.

        Shaq: I mean, he didn't put out an album.

        Zo: Yes, Shaq.

        Shaq: I had a whole bunch of albums. Even a greatest hits album.

        Zo: Even a greatest hits album. Much better than Kobe.

        Shaq: You seriously think so?

        Zo: Yes, Shaq.

        Shaq: Yeah. Hey Mark?

        Joel Anthony: It's "Joel," man. It's been four months.

        Shaq: That's cool. You ever seen the deleted scenes from the "Steel" DVD?

        Joel Anthony: No, man. You asked me this before. I can't come over

        Shaq: That's cool, bro. I was in "Good Burger," too.

        Joel Anthony: We know, Shaq. Kobe wasn't.

        Shaq: Totally.,63688
        This is the darkest timeline.


        • #5
          Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

          Shocking dialogue: Zaza Pachulia suspended

          By Kelly Dwyer
          Wednesday, Jan 23, 2008 2:53 pm EST

          Hawks center Zaza Pachulia has been suspended by Atlanta coach Mike Woodson. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution says it's because of an incident that happened in the middle of Atlanta 's loss to the Trail Blazers on Monday, but we know better. The real skirmish went down in practice the next day.
          Obviously, we're well connected, and we've been able to supply the dialogue between coach and the Georgian-born center:

          Hawks coach Mike Woodson: Zaza, can I have a word?

          Hawks center Zaza Pachulia: You can have many words, coach. I always tell you that.

          Woodson: Yeah. Um, we need to talk about your shooting habits. You're shooting a bit too much for my taste.

          Zaza: How do you want to taste?

          Woodson: It's not if ... hmm. Wasn't expecting that response. Anyway, Zaza, we'd like you to focus on shooting less ...

          Zaza: I shoot ball. Watch, I show you!

          Woodson: No need for that, Zaza. It's just that your arms are a little short for your body.

          Zaza: My arms have grown in the years. Orlando were short. They call me, howdoyousay ... baby helicopter. But I no play baby helicopter anymore. ZAZA NO PLAY BABY HELICOPTER ANY MORE! I learn lesson, glare at camera on Media Day.

          Woodson: I remember that, Zaza. You frightened Janet. Hell, you frightened the whole camera crew.

          Zaza: I ask them to take picture of me lifting weights. They take picture. THEY NO TELL ME I HAD NO "PACHULIA" ON THE BACK OF MY JERSEY.

          Woodson: It's OK, Zaza. We know you work out.

          Zaza: But how is everyone else to know?

          Woodson: We'll tell them.

          Zaza: You tell them I have musky, Victor Mature-like presence?

          Woodson: If you shoot less, but rebound and defend more.

          Zaza: You want two things?

          Woodson: Right. Rebounding, and playing defense.

          Zaza: How about shooting, and jump-hooking. Two things!

          Woodson: Not really, Zaza. And really those are only one thing.

          Zaza: Those are only one thing?

          Woodson: Correct.

          Zaza: Why you say "those," then? Plural, no?

          Woodson: No.

          Zaza: No?

          Woodson: Well, yes, but ... let's talk about just the rebounding right now.

          Zaza: I no rebound. I shoot and jump-hook, yes?

          Woodson: Yes, but ... say you were to rebound ...

          Zaza: "You were to rebound." Was you to be repeating, like Funky Cold Medina rhyme?

          Woodson: OK, let's put it this way: you no box out.

          Zaza: I no box out?

          Woodson: Correct.

          Zaza: YOU NO BOX OUT!

          Woodson: That doesn't make any ...

          Zaza: YOU NO BOX OUT!

          (Woodsen slides in front of Zaza, pushes him back with his rear end, and seals him off with his arms.)

          Zaza: You box out!

          Woodson: I box out.

          Zaza: This makes me sad. I lie down.

          Woodson: You can't lie down in practice.

          Zaza: Old coach box Zaza out. Sadness takes form of lethargy.

          Woodson: What?

          Zaza: I'm lying down.

          Woodson: Get up in three seconds, or you're suspended.

          Zaza: Want to play Elliott Smith song ...

          Woodson: Three ...

          Zaza: Today's mood for Zaza? Boxed-out.

          Woodson: Two ...

          Zaza: I'm somewhere else. In front of a fountain. Close to Epcot.

          Woodson: One. You're suspended.
          This is the darkest timeline.


          • #6
            Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

            Shocking dialogue: Jamaal Tinsley suspended

            By Kelly Dwyer
            Thursday, Jan 17, 2008 10:55 am EST

            From the Indianapolis Star:

            "The Indiana Pacers suspended Jamaal Tinsley for Wednesday night's game against Golden State following an incident during a film session one day earlier, The Star has learned.

            What exactly happened during the session is unknown."

            Not true.

            Pacers coach Jim O'Brien: "Here's where I want you to shoot a three-pointer, squaddle deedle-dee, shoot another three-pointer here, blippity bloop ..."

            Tinsley: "Why'd you have to sit like that?"

            Obie: "Like what?"

            JT: "Like that?"

            Obie: "I'm standing. Like where?"

            JT: "In the coaches photo. You sit, three guys stand to your right, two to your left. It's unseemly. It's off-kilter. Geometrically uncouth. An affront to my sensibilities!"

            Obie: "I don't understand what that has to ..."

            JT: "I come into work almost every day, see that picture hanging in the hallway, and I have to touch 14 doorknobs and David Harrison's neckbeard just to get back to normal."

            Obie: "Like you can talk, remember that Pistons game where you let Jeff Foster touch your head in the first quarter?"

            JT: "Yeah."

            Obie: "Creepy guy went off for nine first half rebounds."

            JT: "Yeah."

            Obie: "Comes off the bench in the third quarter, wants to touch the head again, and what do you do?"

            JT: "Is this about the towel?"

            Obie: "Yeah, ‘it's about the towel.'"

            JT: "I don't understand what the problem is. It was an affront to my sensibilities. It had to stop. Like the dye-job."

            Obie: "What dye-job?"

            JT: "You've been a head coach for seven years now. All this time you've had sideburns the color of cooked halibut, some white directly above it, and then jet-black hair."

            Obie: "First off, quit comparing colors to "cooked halibut." Dunleavy Jr. cried for weeks the first time you tried that. Secondly, yeah, I'm getting older. It's what happens."

            JT: "No, no it's not 'what happens.' If it's 'what happens,' then it would be blended. You don't go from stark white to dark black in half a centimeter. How do you think I feel when Stephen Jackson texts me to tell me that my coach and Bonnie Raitt share a barber? It's an affront to my sensibilities!"

            Obie: "Say that one more time, and you're suspended."

            JT: "A suspension without pay?"

            Obie: "Yes."

            JT: "But that would be an affront to my sensibilities!"

            And ... scene.

            Somebody better get traded soon. I'm all out.
            This is the darkest timeline.


            • #7
              Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

              lol, those are funny.


              • #8
                Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

                These are all great. My favorite is Jason Kidd.
                Zaza: This makes me sad. I lie down.
                I said that last night at the game. Aisles are sticky, ushers are rude.
                Last edited by Naptown_Seth; 01-30-2008, 02:53 PM.


                • #9
                  Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

                  Looks like Thorn is talking to Isiah now.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

                    I love the one between Zo and Shaq, but especially the one between Nellie and Chris Webber
                    2012 PD ABA Fantasy Keeper League Champion,

                    2011 PD ABA Fantasy Keeper League Champion,

                    2006 PD ABA Fantasy League runner up,


                    • #11
                      Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

                      After many years of watching JT play, I doubt he has much geometry sense.

                      Dude thinks the ball will go in the basket without every clearing the height of the rim.
                      “Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.” ― Ricky Gervais.


                      • #12
                        Re: Shocking Dialog (NBA Experts Blog @ Yahoo!)

                        Zaza sounds a lot like StankoLover316.