The Rules of Pacers Digest

Hello everyone,

Whether your are a long standing forum member or whether you have just registered today, it's a good idea to read and review the rules below so that you have a very good idea of what to expect when you come to Pacers Digest.

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Why do we do this? So that it's more difficult for spammers (be they human or robot) to post, and so users who are banned cannot immediately re-register and start dousing people with verbal flames.

Below are the rules of Pacers Digest. After you have read them, you will have a very good sense of where we are coming from, what we expect, what we don't want to see, and how we react to things.

Rule #1

Pacers Digest is intended to be a place to discuss basketball without having to deal with the kinds of behaviors or attitudes that distract people from sticking with the discussion of the topics at hand. These unwanted distractions can come in many forms, and admittedly it can sometimes be tricky to pin down each and every kind that can rear its ugly head, but we feel that the following examples and explanations cover at least a good portion of that ground and should at least give people a pretty good idea of the kinds of things we actively discourage:

"Anyone who __________ is a liar / a fool / an idiot / a blind homer / has their head buried in the sand / a blind hater / doesn't know basketball / doesn't watch the games"

"People with intelligence will agree with me when I say that __________"

"Only stupid people think / believe / do ___________"

"I can't wait to hear something from PosterX when he/she sees that **insert a given incident or current event that will have probably upset or disappointed PosterX here**"

"He/she is just delusional"

"This thread is stupid / worthless / embarrassing"

"I'm going to take a moment to point and / laugh at PosterX / GroupOfPeopleY who thought / believed *insert though/belief here*"

"Remember when PosterX said OldCommentY that no longer looks good? "

In general, if a comment goes from purely on topic to something 'ad hominem' (personal jabs, personal shots, attacks, flames, however you want to call it, towards a person, or a group of people, or a given city/state/country of people), those are most likely going to be found intolerable.

We also dissuade passive aggressive behavior. This can be various things, but common examples include statements that are basically meant to imply someone is either stupid or otherwise incapable of holding a rational conversation. This can include (but is not limited to) laughing at someone's conclusions rather than offering an honest rebuttal, asking people what game they were watching, or another common problem is Poster X will say "that player isn't that bad" and then Poster Y will say something akin to "LOL you think that player is good". We're not going to tolerate those kinds of comments out of respect for the community at large and for the sake of trying to just have an honest conversation.

Now, does the above cover absolutely every single kind of distraction that is unwanted? Probably not, but you should by now have a good idea of the general types of things we will be discouraging. The above examples are meant to give you a good feel for / idea of what we're looking for. If something new or different than the above happens to come along and results in the same problem (that being, any other attitude or behavior that ultimately distracts from actually just discussing the topic at hand, or that is otherwise disrespectful to other posters), we can and we will take action to curb this as well, so please don't take this to mean that if you managed to technically avoid saying something exactly like one of the above examples that you are then somehow off the hook.

That all having been said, our goal is to do so in a generally kind and respectful way, and that doesn't mean the moment we see something we don't like that somebody is going to be suspended or banned, either. It just means that at the very least we will probably say something about it, quite possibly snipping out the distracting parts of the post in question while leaving alone the parts that are actually just discussing the topics, and in the event of a repeating or excessive problem, then we will start issuing infractions to try to further discourage further repeat problems, and if it just never seems to improve, then finally suspensions or bans will come into play. We would prefer it never went that far, and most of the time for most of our posters, it won't ever have to.

A slip up every once and a while is pretty normal, but, again, when it becomes repetitive or excessive, something will be done. Something occasional is probably going to be let go (within reason), but when it starts to become habitual or otherwise a pattern, odds are very good that we will step in.

There's always a small minority that like to push people's buttons and/or test their own boundaries with regards to the administrators, and in the case of someone acting like that, please be aware that this is not a court of law, but a private website run by people who are simply trying to do the right thing as they see it. If we feel that you are a special case that needs to be dealt with in an exceptional way because your behavior isn't explicitly mirroring one of our above examples of what we generally discourage, we can and we will take atypical action to prevent this from continuing if you are not cooperative with us.

Also please be aware that you will not be given a pass simply by claiming that you were 'only joking,' because quite honestly, when someone really is just joking, for one thing most people tend to pick up on the joke, including the person or group that is the target of the joke, and for another thing, in the event where an honest joke gets taken seriously and it upsets or angers someone, the person who is truly 'only joking' will quite commonly go out of his / her way to apologize and will try to mend fences. People who are dishonest about their statements being 'jokes' do not do so, and in turn that becomes a clear sign of what is really going on. It's nothing new.

In any case, quite frankly, the overall quality and health of the entire forum's community is more important than any one troublesome user will ever be, regardless of exactly how a problem is exhibiting itself, and if it comes down to us having to make a choice between you versus the greater health and happiness of the entire community, the community of this forum will win every time.

Lastly, there are also some posters, who are generally great contributors and do not otherwise cause any problems, who sometimes feel it's their place to provoke or to otherwise 'mess with' that small minority of people described in the last paragraph, and while we possibly might understand why you might feel you WANT to do something like that, the truth is we can't actually tolerate that kind of behavior from you any more than we can tolerate the behavior from them. So if we feel that you are trying to provoke those other posters into doing or saying something that will get themselves into trouble, then we will start to view you as a problem as well, because of the same reason as before: The overall health of the forum comes first, and trying to stir the pot with someone like that doesn't help, it just makes it worse. Some will simply disagree with this philosophy, but if so, then so be it because ultimately we have to do what we think is best so long as it's up to us.

If you see a problem that we haven't addressed, the best and most appropriate course for a forum member to take here is to look over to the left of the post in question. See underneath that poster's name, avatar, and other info, down where there's a little triangle with an exclamation point (!) in it? Click that. That allows you to report the post to the admins so we can definitely notice it and give it a look to see what we feel we should do about it. Beyond that, obviously it's human nature sometimes to want to speak up to the poster in question who has bothered you, but we would ask that you try to refrain from doing so because quite often what happens is two or more posters all start going back and forth about the original offending post, and suddenly the entire thread is off topic or otherwise derailed. So while the urge to police it yourself is understandable, it's best to just report it to us and let us handle it. Thank you!

All of the above is going to be subject to a case by case basis, but generally and broadly speaking, this should give everyone a pretty good idea of how things will typically / most often be handled.

Rule #2

If the actions of an administrator inspire you to make a comment, criticism, or express a concern about it, there is a wrong place and a couple of right places to do so.

The wrong place is to do so in the original thread in which the administrator took action. For example, if a post gets an infraction, or a post gets deleted, or a comment within a larger post gets clipped out, in a thread discussing Paul George, the wrong thing to do is to distract from the discussion of Paul George by adding your off topic thoughts on what the administrator did.

The right places to do so are:

A) Start a thread about the specific incident you want to talk about on the Feedback board. This way you are able to express yourself in an area that doesn't throw another thread off topic, and this way others can add their two cents as well if they wish, and additionally if there's something that needs to be said by the administrators, that is where they will respond to it.

B) Send a private message to the administrators, and they can respond to you that way.

If this is done the wrong way, those comments will be deleted, and if it's a repeating problem then it may also receive an infraction as well.

Rule #3

If a poster is bothering you, and an administrator has not or will not deal with that poster to the extent that you would prefer, you have a powerful tool at your disposal, one that has recently been upgraded and is now better than ever: The ability to ignore a user.

When you ignore a user, you will unfortunately still see some hints of their existence (nothing we can do about that), however, it does the following key things:

A) Any post they make will be completely invisible as you scroll through a thread.

B) The new addition to this feature: If someone QUOTES a user you are ignoring, you do not have to read who it was, or what that poster said, unless you go out of your way to click on a link to find out who it is and what they said.

To utilize this feature, from any page on Pacers Digest, scroll to the top of the page, look to the top right where it says 'Settings' and click that. From the settings page, look to the left side of the page where it says 'My Settings', and look down from there until you see 'Edit Ignore List' and click that. From here, it will say 'Add a Member to Your List...' Beneath that, click in the text box to the right of 'User Name', type in or copy & paste the username of the poster you are ignoring, and once their name is in the box, look over to the far right and click the 'Okay' button. All done!

Rule #4

Regarding infractions, currently they carry a value of one point each, and that point will expire in 31 days. If at any point a poster is carrying three points at the same time, that poster will be suspended until the oldest of the three points expires.

Rule #5

When you share or paste content or articles from another website, you must include the URL/link back to where you found it, who wrote it, and what website it's from. Said content will be removed if this doesn't happen.

An example:

If I copy and paste an article from the Indianapolis Star website, I would post something like this:
Title of the Article
Author's Name
Indianapolis Star

Rule #6

We cannot tolerate illegal videos on Pacers Digest. This means do not share any links to them, do not mention any websites that host them or link to them, do not describe how to find them in any way, and do not ask about them. Posts doing anything of the sort will be removed, the offenders will be contacted privately, and if the problem becomes habitual, you will be suspended, and if it still persists, you will probably be banned.

The legal means of watching or listening to NBA games are NBA League Pass Broadband (for US, or for International; both cost money) and NBA Audio League Pass (which is free). Look for them on

Rule #7

Provocative statements in a signature, or as an avatar, or as the 'tagline' beneath a poster's username (where it says 'Member' or 'Administrator' by default, if it is not altered) are an unwanted distraction that will more than likely be removed on sight. There can be shades of gray to this, but in general this could be something political or religious that is likely going to provoke or upset people, or otherwise something that is mean-spirited at the expense of a poster, a group of people, or a population.

It may or may not go without saying, but this goes for threads and posts as well, particularly when it's not made on the off-topic board (Market Square).

We do make exceptions if we feel the content is both innocuous and unlikely to cause social problems on the forum (such as wishing someone a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter), and we also also make exceptions if such topics come up with regards to a sports figure (such as the Lance Stephenson situation bringing up discussions of domestic abuse and the law, or when Jason Collins came out as gay and how that lead to some discussion about gay rights).

However, once the discussion seems to be more/mostly about the political issues instead of the sports figure or his specific situation, the thread is usually closed.

Rule #8

We prefer self-restraint and/or modesty when making jokes or off topic comments in a sports discussion thread. They can be fun, but sometimes they derail or distract from a topic, and we don't want to see that happen. If we feel it is a problem, we will either delete or move those posts from the thread.

Rule #9

Generally speaking, we try to be a "PG-13" rated board, and we don't want to see sexual content or similarly suggestive content. Vulgarity is a more muddled issue, though again we prefer things to lean more towards "PG-13" than "R". If we feel things have gone too far, we will step in.

Rule #10

We like small signatures, not big signatures. The bigger the signature, the more likely it is an annoying or distracting signature.

Rule #11

Do not advertise anything without talking about it with the administrators first. This includes advertising with your signature, with your avatar, through private messaging, and/or by making a thread or post.
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Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

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  • Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

    A Diary With Upside
    By Bill Simmons
    Page 2

    The NBA draft never disappoints. Even during last night's pregame show, within 20 seconds, Mike Tirico set the bar for hyperbole by calling New York City "the greatest city in the world." Jay Bilas creeped everyone out by bemoaning the lack of a "sexy superstar." And everyone seemed to feel the same way: Any time you have a superstar-free draft with a never ending supply of Upside Guys and Foreign-Born Guys, with some of the most incompetent executives drafting these players, there's always some tremendous upside potential.

    Without further ado …

    7:30 p.m. – Nothing gets me more pumped for the NBA draft than a Lenny Kravitz song from 12 years ago. Really? "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" was the best ESPN could come up with tonight? Anyway, I'm joined here by … well, nobody's here. It's just me (Dad couldn't make it). Although I might get stuck with a crying baby at some point if the Sports Gal pulls the disgusted, "I know you're working, but do you think you could stop watching sports and take her for 20 minutes?" look on her face at some point in the first round. Stay tuned.

    7:32 – Ladies and gentleman, Mr. David Stern …

    "Hello everyone and welcome to the NBA Draft at Madison Square Garden in New York City, home of the Knicks and (whoops, I have to sound excited when I say this) the New York Liberty! A quick note – this is the last year that we will allow high schoolers to be drafted. As you probably heard by now, I have destroyed the Players Association again. There's nothing left. Just rubble. Don't challenge me again – next time, the casualties will be significant. I'm warning you …"

    7:34 – On the clock: The Bucks, who are planning to take Andrew Bogut at No. 1. No, not in a supplemental draft – the actual draft. I thought he was going to be the next Bill Wennington until last week, when I found out he was only 20 years old. Now I'd like to upgrade that prediction to the poor man's Mike Gminski. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing – G-Mo had a few good years, and sported the best, red, mid-'80s beard except for possibly Chuck Norris. Plus, the clips of Bogut trying to guard Amare Stoudemire could fill an NBA DVD some day.

    Meanwhile, Anthony worries about Bogut going to the coachless Bucks, saying, "Without a coach, you don't have a philosophy, a style or a system." Apparently he didn't watch Atlanta last season. That's followed by Tirico pointing out that the 1999 Clippers (with Michael Olowokandi) were the last team that drafted a center first even though they didn't have a coach, followed by Anthony laughing and joking, "I hope that's not an omen." Do you think a group of fans have ever been less excited by a No. 1 pick than Bucks fans? In any sport?

    7:36 – Bogut (desperately needing to grow a wispy mustache) goes first and hugs a bunch of happy Australians. Couldn't they have given us a "Most Successful Australians" montage here? They could have shown the Crocodile Dundee, Men At Work, Nicole Kidman, the Bee Gees … I mean, this is a guy who could go down some day as the greatest Australian-Croatian center of all-time. We can't celebrate this?

    7:39 – We just learned that Bogut's favorite food is "soup." That choice narrowly edged "bread." Also, his father just told us that Andrew was working out with a personal trainer since he was a little kid (although it's too late to get him on Bravo's "Sports Kids Moms and Dads"). That's followed by an enjoyable interview with Bucks GM Larry Harris, who seems even more happy to be here than Ralph Macchio was on "Entourage" a few weeks ago.

    (Note: Can't you see Harris showing a date this draft telecast 10 years from now? "See, I told you I ran an NBA team! Yeah, we had the first pick … I took this slow Australian guy with bad eyesight … biiiiiiiiiig mistake …")

    7:42 – Picking second and needing a point guard, the Hawks grab Marvin Williams, who shattered Shane Battier's record for "Most flattering stories and comments about someone's character before an NBA draft" this summer – by the time the draft started, I was waiting to see footage of him pulling kids out of wells and delivering babies in elevators. To sum up his UPPPPPPPPside as an NBA prospect, Bilas uses phrases like, "Sky is the limit … unbelievably long … active, athletic … the real deal … the complete package … active, bouncy, athlete … really long … wingspan of about 7-foot-3 …" and then adds, "The thing that makes him special is his range as a shooter."

    (Of course, nowhere in that gushing monologue was the phrase, "Couldn't start for his college team." But we'll let it slide. I like Jay Bilas. He's unbelievably long.)

    7:45 – Of all people, it takes Dick Vitale (with a red background behind him) to ask the "Why the heck would the Hawks take Williams when they already have Josh Childress, Al Harrington and Josh Smith?" question. If he's the voice of reason tonight, we could be in serious trouble.

    7:48 – Following a trade with Portland, Utah takes Deron (don't call me De-RON) Williams at No. 3. Perfect pick – with some luck, he'll be half as good as Chris Paul. Bilas sums up everyone's concerns by wondering if Deron has the "blowbyability" to get into the lane – I'm going to vote "yes" since he's 202 pounds and should end up looking like John Bagley before everything's said and done. On the bright side, Deron has the hottest girlfriend since Casey Jacobsen's girlfriend turned Craig Sager to jello in the 2002 draft.

    7:49 – Stu Scott finishes his interview with Deron Williams by saying, "Mike, seven tattoos on this man, still, character – all the time, character," followed by a confused Williams staring at him in disbelief. Highlight of the draft so far.

    7:54 – New Orleans happily grabs Chris Paul with the fourth pick, partly because he's the best player in the draft, partly because he's one of four people in this draft who could handle playing in New Orleans. "He will be the mayor of New Orleans!" Vitale screams. "Trust me! He will be the king of New Orleans!" Translation: He's going to hand out more beads than assists.

    Meanwhile, Paul's brother CJ fondly remembers all the fights they had when they were kids – including the time Chris pulled a knife on him – adding, "it was all out of love, it was all out of love." Gotcha. CJ also reveals that he's going to live with Chris and serve as his manager and personal assistant. I can't believe he was available.

    7:57 – The following exchange about the Paul pick just occurred:

    – Stephen A. Smith: "If you're the New Orleans Hornets, you could pick Winnie the Pooh and you would have improved."

    – Bilas (on autopilot): "Winnie The Pooh … what I like about him is that he's unbelievably long, 7-foot wingspan, bouncy, great athlete, very high basketball IQ … "

    (All right, I made the second part up. But Stephen A. really did bring up Pooh.)

    8:01 – Hey, remember when the Mavs took Devin Harris fifth, and it seemed like a reach, and he ended up not even cracking 1,200 minutes as a rookie? In a related story, the Bobcats just took UNC's Raymond Felton fifth. "He has a 6-foot-4 inch wingspan," notes Bilas. Seriously? I always thought it looked like it was in the 6-foot-3 area.

    8:06 – Thanks to ESPN's fun little draft fact thingie, we just learned that Felton "writes poetry in his spare time." I think I would pay $7,500 to hear him recite Tyrone Green's "Kill My Landlord" to Stu Scott right now and pretend that he wrote it.

    8:07 – High schooler Martell Webster just went sixth to the coachless Blazers, where there's a 95 percent chance he'll be corrupted by D-Miles, Zach Randolph, Ruben Patterson and the rest of the chain gang. With one of the other picks they got in the Utah trade, they should draft the Whizzinator.

    (Funny story about Webster and fellow stud high schooler Gerald Green from Monday night's draft preview special: Stu asked them if they knew who the first lottery pick ever was in 1985 … and both of them drew a blank. Then Stu gave them the "New York, New York" clue … still, complete blanks. Finally he told them and Webster defended himself with, "I was only 1." And you wonder why the age limit is coming in.)

    8:08 – Bilas on Webster: "He's really long – he could have shaken hands with David Stern from the Green Room!" Would there be anything more riveting than hearing Bilas trying to analyze a draft where teams could take only midgets and dwarfs?

    8:12 – New highlight of the night: Webster's grandmother's hat. It's looks like a chef's cap crossed with an overcooked souffle. Fantastic. Also, Portland GM John Nash (looking grim and nervous) just explained the pick by saying, "First of all, we think we took an outstanding young man, he's a terrific character, somebody that the community of Portland can be proud of, in addition to a very good player." Translation: Don't worry, this guy may stink down the road, but at least he won't end up in jail.

    8:14 – Remember my running joke about Charlie Villanueva looking like the lead singer of Midnight Oil? Well, Charlie has a new claim to fame – he just became one of the top-five worst picks in the history of the NBA draft. Toronto took him seventh. Seventh! Seventh! Rob Babcock just drafted Rafael Araujo and Charlie Villanueva with back-to-back top-10 picks when he already had Chris Bosh! And he just left Green and Danny Granger on the board! Throw in the Carter trade and are we absolutely sure that Babcock isn't Scott Layden using a fake Canadian passport? You're lucky I didn't start out as the Toronto Sports Guy, I would have been capable of 25 to 30 straight Babcock columns this summer.

    8:16 – After listening to Bilas and the crew killing his selection for 90 seconds, a shell-shocked Charlie gets interviewed by Stu, who wraps up his interview by singing, "It's Brooklyn in … it's Brooklyn in … it's Brooklyn in da house!" Who else is waiting for Charlie to jump up brandishing a pistol and screaming, "All right, who's the bust now? Huh? Huh?"

    8:19 – I'm sorry, I think "Isiah Thomas and the Knicks are on the clock" has surpassed "Elgin Baylor and the Clips" are on the clock as the most exciting moment in the draft every year. Bilas votes for Channing Frye here, Anthony and Smith vote for Granger, and I vote for Frye becoming the next Loren Woods regardless of what happens. We'll see.

    8:20 – Yup, Frye goes to the Knicks at No. 8 as we see Spike Lee clapping with a confused, "Crap, should I renew my courtside seats?" look on his face. Any time you can waste a top-eight pick on a center who couldn't average eight rebounds a game as a senior, you make that move every time.

    8:25 – David Stern sums up Golden State's pick of Ike Diogu at No. 9 by saying, "Ike is not here." On the bright side, it's good to have someone named "Ike" in our lives again, isn't it? Long overdue. And speaking of long … you're not going to believe this, but Ike Diogu is very long. A wingspan that measures 7-foot-4. If you're looking for someone to sit in the backseat of a car and open both doors at the same time, he's your guy.

    8:30 – Apparently the Lakers are trading Kobe this summer – they just took 17-year-old, 290-pound center Andrew Bynum with the 10th pick. I'm speechless. The best high schooler in the draft (Green) and the best perimeter player (Granger) just inexplicably dropped out of the top 10. You figure it out.

    (By the way, I think this draft should have a running feature called "Pick Me Baby One More Time" with failed GM's from years past trying to explain crappy picks for the teams that just made them. For instance, former Celtics GM Chris Wallace could have come out tonight and reenacted his explanation for the Kedrick Brown pick four years ago, and then later in the show, he could have performed an explanation for this Bynum pick. Wouldn't that have been just as riveting as seeing Wang Chung singing "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight" and Nelly's "It's Getting Hot in Here"?)

    8:34 – I have to say, I enjoyed Bynum's interview with Stu – right down to the three-step handshake. "He has lost 20 pounds," explains Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak, "so he's dedicated himself in the last month or so." Well, that's good news. I mean, if he's been dedicated for a solid month, that changes everything.

    8:35 – Just talked to my Dad, who's officially in "We might end up with Danny Granger at No. 18!" mode.

    8:38 – All right, I'd like to nominate Fran Vazquez as the odds-on favorite to replace the retiring Shawn Bradley as "The guy who will be dunked on more than anyone else in the league next year." He just went 11th to the Magic and received multiple kisses on the cheek from another man. Apparently Granger either committed an armed robbery last night, or he recently contracted Hepatitis A-thru-M. There's no other explanation.

    8:39 – I take back every Vasquez joke: Didn't realize he averaged 8.4 points per game and 4.4 rebounds per game in the Spanish ACB league last year. By the way, Stu Scott is talking to Vasquez through an interpreter right now.

    8:39 – Addendum to previous note: The interpreter is for Vasquez, not Stu.

    8:44 – Did you enjoy the Elgin Baylor Era? The Clips took Mike Dunleavy's guy (Yaroslav Korolev) at No. 12, signifying Elgin's inevitable move upstairs that came about eight years too late. We'll remember Elgin as a Hall of Famer, a veteran of the lottery process, and the guy who said about Shaun Livingston's progress last year, "It might take a season, it might take half a season, it might take a year." Farewell, Elgin. Farewell.

    (And just for the record, as a Clippers season-ticket holder, consider this my formal complaint that they passed on Granger for some Russian dude who can't help them for three to four years. I'm sending my second installment of my payment plan to the Clips right after I dip it in golden retriever urine.)

    8:46 – Fantastic monologue from Vitale: "I do know Sean May and Granger and Green and I can't believe these guys are being bypassed. I think there's a tendency to look at the foreign player and we get enamored, and we look at our own kids and find all their faults. I know this though, it's a fact. Twenty international players taken in the first round in the last four years, and only one of them have made an impact – Yao Ming!"

    (Wait a second, you're telling me that Darko Milicic didn't make a major impact? I milked like 300 jokes and counting out of the Darko Era! That's an impact, pal!)

    8:49 – Stephen A. Smith follows Vitale's lead and rants about the foreigners/college player problem; I'd give you the transcript, but the font size on my computer doesn't go high enough. Meanwhile, almost like a WNBA team, the Bobcats are picking local players hoping that will boost their attendance numbers – at No. 13, they just grabbed Sean May, whose favorite movie is "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." I need to know these things. Meanwhile, my Dad and I just had this exchange:

    –Dad: "What's the name of the ESPN announcer I don't like?"
    –Me: "Stephen A. Smith?"
    –Dad: "Yeah – I thought he just made a really good point about the foreign players."

    8:55 – Hoping to replace Latrell Sprewell's scoring, explosion and overall insanity, Minnesota takes Rashad McCants at No. 14. This leads to the funniest moment of the draft – McCants taking so long to hug his family and posse that Stern zoned out on the podium, followed by McCants having to tap him on the shoulder for the obligatory handshake. Fantastic. That could have earned this telecast "Save Until I Delete" TiVo status for at least three weeks.

    8:59 – Poor Gerald Green – he has a "If I drop four more spots, I'm going to have to return that Hummer and the three Plasmas" look on his face right now.

    By the way, here's my McCants question – everyone was writing that his stock was dropping as teams kept doing background checks on him. Well, what were they finding? Did he kill a litter of puppies? Did he appear in a snuff film? Or was it something as innocent as "His favorite movie is 'Scarface'"? As I'm mulling over the possibilities, McCants gives us the quote of the night: "My passion for winning is very misunderstood – it took us three years to win a championship, sometimes it takes guys 10 years."

    (Yup, he's going to fill Spree's shoes nicely.)

    9:02 – ESPN should have a feature in the post-draft special with NBA fans calling friends who aren't watching the draft to tell them what happened in the last 10 picks. I just called my buddy House, who's at the Nationals game in DC right now – he let out a series of "What? You're lying! What? What? Come on! Get out of here! Whaaaaaaaaat?" Highest of high comedy. I felt like I was telling him that I just grew three extra nipples and a third leg.

    9:02 – Antoine Wright to the Nets at No. 15, Joey Graham to the Raptors at No. 16. Sorry, I can't concentrate on this draft anymore – the Celtics are one pick away from getting one of the top-six prospects at No. 18 (Green or Granger). This is incredible – it's like we tanked the 2005 season even though we didn't. My Dad and I have officially moved to "Stay on the phone through the Celtics pick with our fingers crossed" mode.

    9:13 – Indiana takes Granger, the only guy in this draft other than Paul who could have played in last week's Spurs-Pistons series – now he's going to one of the most talented teams in the league? Yikes. My disappointed father (a Granger fan) immediately brings up the '85 Draft when the Pistons took Joe Dumars one spot ahead of the Celtics. That leads to this exchange:

    –Me: "Well, Green went No. 3 in just about every mock draft this week – he's supposedly the closest thing in the draft to Kobe and T-Mac since Kobe and T-Mac."

    –Dad (shuffling through his USA Today): "Yeah, the USA Today has him No. 3 … (getting more excited ) … No. 3! (legitimately excited) … Wow! Let's take him!"

    That was fast.

    9:15 – I'm telling you, Vitale is like Confucius tonight. He just had this rant after the Granger pick: "I get so carried away sometimes hearing all these people talking about quickness, jumping ability, wingspan, hey, this isn't track and field, this is basketball!" Listening to Dickie V tonight makes me feel like Katie Holmes hearing Tom Cruise discuss Scientology for the first time – I feel like he's unlocking a key to a higher being or something. Or, it might just be the blood-red background.

    9:17 – And the Celtics take … Gerald Green!

    (Woo-hoo! Yippee! Yee-hah! Hey now! Hi-ho!)

    According to Andy Katz, the Celtics are absolutely thrilled, adding that Portland, Atlanta and Denver have already called to try to get this pick. Bilas adds, "an insane athlete … great pick at 18." Green tells us that it was "God's plan." On, Chad Ford calls it the "second steal of the draft." Stu Scott tells us that Green was cut by his high school team ("just like a guy named Michael Jordan"). My Dad says, "Trade Pierce! Trade Pierce! Let's build around the kids!" And ESPN tells us that his nickname is G-Money. Just a satisfying three minutes all around. I get to root for Big Al and G-Money for the next 15 years. What could be better than that?

    In fact, let's zoom through the rest of the first round. The rest of the highlights …

    1. Hakim Warrick (another one of my favorites) won the "Last guy in the Green Room" award, getting tabbed by Memphis at No. 19. We also learned that he has not one, not two, but three nicknames – Helicopter, Stretch and Skinny – and that Grizzlies GM Jerry West thought he was a "very good player at Princeton." More tapioca, Mr. West?

    2. E-mail of the night from Florida reader Frank Kosher: "Was I the only one expecting to hear, 'With the 27th pick, in the 2005 NBA draft, the Portland Trail Blazers select … Carlton Dotson, from Baylor University."

    3. Best picks: Sacramento (Francisco Garcia at No. 22) and Houston (Luther Head at No. 24). Plus, Vitale called Garcia "multi-dimensional, very versatile, he can play three positions on the floor." He's even flexible.

    4. Frenchman Ian Mahinmi (who went to San Antonio at No. 28) received the unprecedented thumbnail scouting report blurb: "Must Improve: Overall Skills." Probably not a good idea to invest in his rookie cards any time soon.

    5. Friends calling and e-mailing all night to congratulate me on the G-Money Era. This was like having a baby all over again. Congratulations, you must be shocked! Did you know it was coming? How long was the labor? What a nice-looking kid!

    6. Denver pick Julius Hodge (No. 20, wearing a lovely cream suit) to Stu Scott on how he became an NBA fan during a Lakers-Knicks game at MSG: "I was at that game and the ball went out of bounds and I happened to get some good seats … and Magic kinda just glazed into the crowd and I was smiling my Mom remembered telling me, and he just winked his eye at me and I been a Magic fan ever since, I love the guy."

    (Let's just say that any Magic Johnson story that includes the phrase "Magic glazed into the crowd" has to be considered one of the draft-day highlights of all-time.)

    7. With the final pick of the round (No. 30), Isiah and the Knicks took their 47th power forward (David Lee, the first white American player taken in the round), followed by the crowd booing, a shot of a completely horrified Spike Lee and a grinning Stern, quickly turning Round 2 over to Russ Granik before hightailing it out of there. Yet another classic first round in the books.

    See, that's one thing that never changes with the NBA draft: It has a ton of upside, its wingspan is incredible, it's bouncy, it has a ton of energy, it's active and it's very, very long. Until next year.

  • #2
    Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

    this guy is funny


    • #3
      Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

      That was great, as usual. My favorites:

      Apparently Granger either committed an armed robbery last night, or he recently contracted Hepatitis A-thru-M.

      8:49 – Stephen A. Smith follows Vitale's lead and rants about the foreigners/college player problem; I'd give you the transcript, but the font size on my computer doesn't go high enough.

      he let out a series of "What? You're lying! What? What? Come on! Get out of here! Whaaaaaaaaat?" Highest of high comedy. I felt like I was telling him that I just grew three extra nipples and a third leg.

      Friends calling and e-mailing all night to congratulate me on the G-Money Era. This was like having a baby all over again.

      With the final pick of the round (No. 30), Isiah and the Knicks took their 47th power forward (David Lee, the first white American player taken in the round), followed by the crowd booing, a shot of a completely horrified Spike Lee and a grinning Stern

      Don't ask Marvin Harrison what he did during the bye week. "Batman never told where the Bat Cave is," he explained.


      • #4
        Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

        Sorta funny, I guess.

        I vote that KStat does this over Simmons.
        House Name: Pacers

        House Sigil:

        House Words: "We Kneel To No King"


        • #5
          Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

          Originally posted by Diamond Dave
          Sorta funny, I guess.

          I vote that KStat does this over Simmons.

          Both are funny, but I like kstat a little better. Of course he has the advantage of looking back at drafts that took place 10-20 yerars ago, there are more opportunities. But then again I don't think Kskat gets paid for any of his bits


          • #6
            Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

            8:25 – David Stern sums up Golden State's pick of Ike Diogu at No. 9 by saying, "Ike is not here." On the bright side, it's good to have someone named "Ike" in our lives again, isn't it? Long overdue. And speaking of long … you're not going to believe this, but Ike Diogu is very long. A wingspan that measures 7-foot-4. If you're looking for someone to sit in the backseat of a car and open both doors at the same time, he's your guy.
            I enjoyed this one.
            "I'll always be a part of Donnie Walsh."
            -Ron Artest, Denver Post, 12.28.05


            • #7
              Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

              He really seemed to like Granger, didn't he?

              Say what you want about Simmons, but his draft predictions are reasonably accurate.
              This space for rent.


              • #8
                Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

                Pretty funny stuff.

                One of the few ESPN analysts that can make me laugh for the right reason. Guys like Dick Vitale and Bilas were making me laugh so hard last night on ESPN ranting about Granger, Green, and Warrick falling..It's like they think they are the only people who realize this..Oh it's just funny stuff. I think Vitale loses a thousand brain cells every time he opens his mouth.


                • #9
                  Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

                  Originally posted by Diamond Dave
                  Sorta funny, I guess.

                  I vote that KStat does this over Simmons.
                  When has Kstat ever said anything funny?


                  • #10
                    Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

                    Originally posted by Jesus Shuttlesworth
                    When has Kstat ever said anything funny?
                    I have usually ignored your strange feud with Kstat, but even if you claim to be joking in the last post, why do you think he bothers you so much? I would guess on most message boards when a non-site fan gets on and bashes the home team, everyone says how stupid they are and wonders why posters from other teams can't say anything competent. Well, Kstat fits this bill, and it bugs everyone. His Pistons-bias can show from time to time, but that's just a part of being a homer.


                    • #11
                      Re: Bill Simmons' Draft Diary

                      Originally posted by Unclebuck
                      Both are funny, but I like kstat a little better. Of course he has the advantage of looking back at drafts that took place 10-20 yerars ago, there are more opportunities. But then again I don't think Kskat gets paid for any of his bits
                      Oh, i'll be getting paid for it someday. I'm just having fun for now.

                      THe last couple of days were pretty fun. I just wish NBATV would have covered more of the classic drafts.

                      It wasn't about being the team everyone loved, it was about beating the teams everyone else loved.

                      Division Champions 1955, 1956, 1988, 1989, 1990, 2002, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
                      Conference Champions 1955, 1956, 1988, 2005
                      NBA Champions 1989, 1990, 2004