The Rules of Pacers Digest

Hello everyone,

Whether your are a long standing forum member or whether you have just registered today, it's a good idea to read and review the rules below so that you have a very good idea of what to expect when you come to Pacers Digest.

A quick note to new members: Your posts will not immediately show up when you make them. An administrator has to approve at least your first post before the forum software will later upgrade your account to the status of a fully-registered member. This usually happens within a couple of hours or so after your post(s) is/are approved, so you may need to be a little patient at first.

Why do we do this? So that it's more difficult for spammers (be they human or robot) to post, and so users who are banned cannot immediately re-register and start dousing people with verbal flames.

Below are the rules of Pacers Digest. After you have read them, you will have a very good sense of where we are coming from, what we expect, what we don't want to see, and how we react to things.

Rule #1

Pacers Digest is intended to be a place to discuss basketball without having to deal with the kinds of behaviors or attitudes that distract people from sticking with the discussion of the topics at hand. These unwanted distractions can come in many forms, and admittedly it can sometimes be tricky to pin down each and every kind that can rear its ugly head, but we feel that the following examples and explanations cover at least a good portion of that ground and should at least give people a pretty good idea of the kinds of things we actively discourage:

"Anyone who __________ is a liar / a fool / an idiot / a blind homer / has their head buried in the sand / a blind hater / doesn't know basketball / doesn't watch the games"

"People with intelligence will agree with me when I say that __________"

"Only stupid people think / believe / do ___________"

"I can't wait to hear something from PosterX when he/she sees that **insert a given incident or current event that will have probably upset or disappointed PosterX here**"

"He/she is just delusional"

"This thread is stupid / worthless / embarrassing"

"I'm going to take a moment to point and / laugh at PosterX / GroupOfPeopleY who thought / believed *insert though/belief here*"

"Remember when PosterX said OldCommentY that no longer looks good? "

In general, if a comment goes from purely on topic to something 'ad hominem' (personal jabs, personal shots, attacks, flames, however you want to call it, towards a person, or a group of people, or a given city/state/country of people), those are most likely going to be found intolerable.

We also dissuade passive aggressive behavior. This can be various things, but common examples include statements that are basically meant to imply someone is either stupid or otherwise incapable of holding a rational conversation. This can include (but is not limited to) laughing at someone's conclusions rather than offering an honest rebuttal, asking people what game they were watching, or another common problem is Poster X will say "that player isn't that bad" and then Poster Y will say something akin to "LOL you think that player is good". We're not going to tolerate those kinds of comments out of respect for the community at large and for the sake of trying to just have an honest conversation.

Now, does the above cover absolutely every single kind of distraction that is unwanted? Probably not, but you should by now have a good idea of the general types of things we will be discouraging. The above examples are meant to give you a good feel for / idea of what we're looking for. If something new or different than the above happens to come along and results in the same problem (that being, any other attitude or behavior that ultimately distracts from actually just discussing the topic at hand, or that is otherwise disrespectful to other posters), we can and we will take action to curb this as well, so please don't take this to mean that if you managed to technically avoid saying something exactly like one of the above examples that you are then somehow off the hook.

That all having been said, our goal is to do so in a generally kind and respectful way, and that doesn't mean the moment we see something we don't like that somebody is going to be suspended or banned, either. It just means that at the very least we will probably say something about it, quite possibly snipping out the distracting parts of the post in question while leaving alone the parts that are actually just discussing the topics, and in the event of a repeating or excessive problem, then we will start issuing infractions to try to further discourage further repeat problems, and if it just never seems to improve, then finally suspensions or bans will come into play. We would prefer it never went that far, and most of the time for most of our posters, it won't ever have to.

A slip up every once and a while is pretty normal, but, again, when it becomes repetitive or excessive, something will be done. Something occasional is probably going to be let go (within reason), but when it starts to become habitual or otherwise a pattern, odds are very good that we will step in.

There's always a small minority that like to push people's buttons and/or test their own boundaries with regards to the administrators, and in the case of someone acting like that, please be aware that this is not a court of law, but a private website run by people who are simply trying to do the right thing as they see it. If we feel that you are a special case that needs to be dealt with in an exceptional way because your behavior isn't explicitly mirroring one of our above examples of what we generally discourage, we can and we will take atypical action to prevent this from continuing if you are not cooperative with us.

Also please be aware that you will not be given a pass simply by claiming that you were 'only joking,' because quite honestly, when someone really is just joking, for one thing most people tend to pick up on the joke, including the person or group that is the target of the joke, and for another thing, in the event where an honest joke gets taken seriously and it upsets or angers someone, the person who is truly 'only joking' will quite commonly go out of his / her way to apologize and will try to mend fences. People who are dishonest about their statements being 'jokes' do not do so, and in turn that becomes a clear sign of what is really going on. It's nothing new.

In any case, quite frankly, the overall quality and health of the entire forum's community is more important than any one troublesome user will ever be, regardless of exactly how a problem is exhibiting itself, and if it comes down to us having to make a choice between you versus the greater health and happiness of the entire community, the community of this forum will win every time.

Lastly, there are also some posters, who are generally great contributors and do not otherwise cause any problems, who sometimes feel it's their place to provoke or to otherwise 'mess with' that small minority of people described in the last paragraph, and while we possibly might understand why you might feel you WANT to do something like that, the truth is we can't actually tolerate that kind of behavior from you any more than we can tolerate the behavior from them. So if we feel that you are trying to provoke those other posters into doing or saying something that will get themselves into trouble, then we will start to view you as a problem as well, because of the same reason as before: The overall health of the forum comes first, and trying to stir the pot with someone like that doesn't help, it just makes it worse. Some will simply disagree with this philosophy, but if so, then so be it because ultimately we have to do what we think is best so long as it's up to us.

If you see a problem that we haven't addressed, the best and most appropriate course for a forum member to take here is to look over to the left of the post in question. See underneath that poster's name, avatar, and other info, down where there's a little triangle with an exclamation point (!) in it? Click that. That allows you to report the post to the admins so we can definitely notice it and give it a look to see what we feel we should do about it. Beyond that, obviously it's human nature sometimes to want to speak up to the poster in question who has bothered you, but we would ask that you try to refrain from doing so because quite often what happens is two or more posters all start going back and forth about the original offending post, and suddenly the entire thread is off topic or otherwise derailed. So while the urge to police it yourself is understandable, it's best to just report it to us and let us handle it. Thank you!

All of the above is going to be subject to a case by case basis, but generally and broadly speaking, this should give everyone a pretty good idea of how things will typically / most often be handled.

Rule #2

If the actions of an administrator inspire you to make a comment, criticism, or express a concern about it, there is a wrong place and a couple of right places to do so.

The wrong place is to do so in the original thread in which the administrator took action. For example, if a post gets an infraction, or a post gets deleted, or a comment within a larger post gets clipped out, in a thread discussing Paul George, the wrong thing to do is to distract from the discussion of Paul George by adding your off topic thoughts on what the administrator did.

The right places to do so are:

A) Start a thread about the specific incident you want to talk about on the Feedback board. This way you are able to express yourself in an area that doesn't throw another thread off topic, and this way others can add their two cents as well if they wish, and additionally if there's something that needs to be said by the administrators, that is where they will respond to it.

B) Send a private message to the administrators, and they can respond to you that way.

If this is done the wrong way, those comments will be deleted, and if it's a repeating problem then it may also receive an infraction as well.

Rule #3

If a poster is bothering you, and an administrator has not or will not deal with that poster to the extent that you would prefer, you have a powerful tool at your disposal, one that has recently been upgraded and is now better than ever: The ability to ignore a user.

When you ignore a user, you will unfortunately still see some hints of their existence (nothing we can do about that), however, it does the following key things:

A) Any post they make will be completely invisible as you scroll through a thread.

B) The new addition to this feature: If someone QUOTES a user you are ignoring, you do not have to read who it was, or what that poster said, unless you go out of your way to click on a link to find out who it is and what they said.

To utilize this feature, from any page on Pacers Digest, scroll to the top of the page, look to the top right where it says 'Settings' and click that. From the settings page, look to the left side of the page where it says 'My Settings', and look down from there until you see 'Edit Ignore List' and click that. From here, it will say 'Add a Member to Your List...' Beneath that, click in the text box to the right of 'User Name', type in or copy & paste the username of the poster you are ignoring, and once their name is in the box, look over to the far right and click the 'Okay' button. All done!

Rule #4

Regarding infractions, currently they carry a value of one point each, and that point will expire in 31 days. If at any point a poster is carrying three points at the same time, that poster will be suspended until the oldest of the three points expires.

Rule #5

When you share or paste content or articles from another website, you must include the URL/link back to where you found it, who wrote it, and what website it's from. Said content will be removed if this doesn't happen.

An example:

If I copy and paste an article from the Indianapolis Star website, I would post something like this:
Title of the Article
Author's Name
Indianapolis Star

Rule #6

We cannot tolerate illegal videos on Pacers Digest. This means do not share any links to them, do not mention any websites that host them or link to them, do not describe how to find them in any way, and do not ask about them. Posts doing anything of the sort will be removed, the offenders will be contacted privately, and if the problem becomes habitual, you will be suspended, and if it still persists, you will probably be banned.

The legal means of watching or listening to NBA games are NBA League Pass Broadband (for US, or for International; both cost money) and NBA Audio League Pass (which is free). Look for them on

Rule #7

Provocative statements in a signature, or as an avatar, or as the 'tagline' beneath a poster's username (where it says 'Member' or 'Administrator' by default, if it is not altered) are an unwanted distraction that will more than likely be removed on sight. There can be shades of gray to this, but in general this could be something political or religious that is likely going to provoke or upset people, or otherwise something that is mean-spirited at the expense of a poster, a group of people, or a population.

It may or may not go without saying, but this goes for threads and posts as well, particularly when it's not made on the off-topic board (Market Square).

We do make exceptions if we feel the content is both innocuous and unlikely to cause social problems on the forum (such as wishing someone a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter), and we also also make exceptions if such topics come up with regards to a sports figure (such as the Lance Stephenson situation bringing up discussions of domestic abuse and the law, or when Jason Collins came out as gay and how that lead to some discussion about gay rights).

However, once the discussion seems to be more/mostly about the political issues instead of the sports figure or his specific situation, the thread is usually closed.

Rule #8

We prefer self-restraint and/or modesty when making jokes or off topic comments in a sports discussion thread. They can be fun, but sometimes they derail or distract from a topic, and we don't want to see that happen. If we feel it is a problem, we will either delete or move those posts from the thread.

Rule #9

Generally speaking, we try to be a "PG-13" rated board, and we don't want to see sexual content or similarly suggestive content. Vulgarity is a more muddled issue, though again we prefer things to lean more towards "PG-13" than "R". If we feel things have gone too far, we will step in.

Rule #10

We like small signatures, not big signatures. The bigger the signature, the more likely it is an annoying or distracting signature.

Rule #11

Do not advertise anything without talking about it with the administrators first. This includes advertising with your signature, with your avatar, through private messaging, and/or by making a thread or post.
See more
See less

Let's just say Sports Guy didn't love Game 1 as much as UB

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Let's just say Sports Guy didn't love Game 1 as much as UB

    Btw, I love the belt thing. That needs to happen.

    By Bill Simmons

    Page 2

    Just when I thought I was already excited for the 2005 NBA Finals, I received the following e-mail from Memphis reader Brad Baker:

    Just the thought of passing on the belt gives Sheed the chills.
    "If the Pistons lose, I think that Rasheed Wallace should be forced to hand over his belt to Tim Duncan while doing the whole 'I hate that I lost, but I respect you' handshake like Hogan at Wrestlemania 6. Then he could raise Duncan's hand in victory and be carried from the court in a miniature wrestling ring." Needless to say, I'm now rooting for the Spurs. If the Pistons lose, Rasheed has to hand over the belt to Duncan. This needs to happen. It has to happen. And the scenario had me so fired up, I even kept a running diary of Game 1 last night:

    9:15 Some highlights from the Chevrolet NBA "Game Time" pregame show on ABC, which somehow managed to last 45 minutes

    1. Bill Walton praised the Pistons for a "remarkable ability to cut off the head off their opponent." Nice image.

    2. Hubie Brown on the Pistons: "They are tunnel vision."

    3. Not one but two pregame guests (Phil Jackson and Clyde Drexler) ducked chances to make a pick for the Finals. Thanks for coming on, guys.

    4. We saw our first (and definitely not last) promo for the upcoming ABC mini-series "Empire." You're risking an emperor's life!

    5. ABC's musical choice for the "Let's Get Excited for Game 1" goose-bump montage: Rob Thomas. Let's just say that he wouldn't have been my first choice or my 1,500th. That was followed by Alanis Morissette's singing the national anthem first we had a Canadian MVP, now we have Canadians singing our anthem before the NBA Finals? What's going on here?

    6. Right before they introduced the starting lineups, Robert Horry came out to sing his new hit single, "Switch." I'm telling you, the guy can do it all.

    9:20 The game starts and Rasheed draws first blood with a turnaround over Duncan, followed by Hubie's telling us, "Duncan will tell you that Rasheed's length is a problem." Trust me, it sounded 10 times funnier.

    9:26 Did you ever notice how the Spurs lead the NBA in the always-underrated category of most hot trophy wives and girlfriends sitting behind the benches? Any time they cut to a closeup of a coach, it's a mortal lock that you'll see an ample cleavage in the background behind them. It's uncanny.

    9:29 Detroit 8, San Antonio 2. Either the Pistons look especially fired up tonight, or the Spurs are rusty as hell. I'm leaning toward the latter.

    Tony, we'd like to you meet the Pistons defense.
    9:30 Hubie has now said the word "length" four times in 10 minutes. 9:33 Through six minutes: Pistons 13, Spurs 4. Love the way they're calling this game I think these are the same refs who worked the touch football game in "Lock Up."

    9:36 After a textbook Detroit defensive rotation on a failed Parker drive, Hubie says, "Now, if you appreciate defense, the rotation and the intimidation on that layup was just beautiful to watch." Couldn't agree more. Sure, only like 19 fans appreciate this stuff, and it will translate into ratings suicide for ABC but he's right. That was awesome to watch.

    9:41 Our first foul on Detroit gets called at the 4:14 mark, drawing a sarcastic cheer from the crowd. That's one of the more underrated crowd noises in sports the "Thanks for finally blowing the whistle, you [expletive]" noise.

    9:44 "I look at myself as a leader who happens to coach basketball. I want you armed for life. I want you to develop as a player. I want you to develop as a student. And I want you to develop as a human being."

    (In the meantime, American Express is going to write me a gigantic check while you guys get a free scholarship, free sneakers, a free room and that's it. But let me know if you need any advice or anything, I'm always here for you.)

    9:50 Parker dribbles the ball off his foot with 4.3 seconds remaining, leading to a quick Billups substitution and the yes! There it is! The inevitable "4.3 seconds is a long time" comment from Hubie. I know this man like the back of my hand.

    9:51 Our score after one: 20-17. Not a good sign for Detroit they played a near-flawless first quarter and they're only up by three. These are things that happen when your bench is a weaker link than Gretchen Mol in "Rounders."

    9:58 Hubie thinks they're "allowing a lot of contact between Ginobili and Hamilton." I think that Ginobili is going to get to third base with Hamilton by the end of the night. Regardless, here's the point: Ginobili is playing Rip very tight tonight.

    10:03 When Jennifer Aniston is watching TV and that "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" commercial comes on, does she just start throwing things? And who would be the best revenge boyfriend for her? I'd go with Wilmer Valderrama if I were her. That would drive me crazy knowing that my ex-wife was dating Wilmer Valderrama. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Wait, he's like 5-foot-6! He has a lisp! What do people see in this guy? I'd be obsessed. Anyway, that should be her move. Either him or Michael Clarke Duncan.

    10:07 Remember when the Spurs acquired Brent Barry last summer and everyone reacted like they had just acquired John Havlicek in his prime? Um, he just picked up three fouls in about 4.2 seconds. On the bright side, I don't think there's a player in the league who spends more money on his haircut.

    "If you don't do the tango with me, I'm knockin' you out."
    10:10 Best player in the first half so far: Chauncey Billups. I remember watching him on the Celtics as a rookie and thinking, "There's no way he'll ever figure out how to run a team." Unfortunately, Rick Pitino came to the same conclusion and traded him. Now he's the reigning NBA Finals MVP and one of the best money guards in the league. The lesson, as always: There's a reason Rick Pitino and I aren't running NBA teams. 10:17 They just showed a "Dancing With the Stars" promo, which reminds me: Start TiVo-ing this show, if only for the Evander Holyfield parts. Did you ever have a quiet family member who got drunk at a wedding and decided to show off his moves on the dance floor and wasn't half-bad except that he sported a crazy half-smile/half-intensity look the entire time, and you weren't quite sure if someone was going to be groped inappropriately? That's what we're getting with Evander every week.

    10:21 All right, here's my task for ESPN colleague John Hollinger: Come up with a stat that quantifies how much of an offensive disaster Lindsay Hunter has been in the 2005 playoffs. Isn't there a way to combine "Number of times he dribbled the ball off his foot at midcourt," "missed open layups," "airballs," "missed wide-open 3s," "charges committed" and "passes off a teammate's face" into one giant stat? If not, there should be.

    10:22 Can you tell I'm just babbling about random stuff because this game sucks?

    10:25 Our halftime score: Pistons 37, Spurs 35. See, I told you it would be a high-scoring series! Every potential "Maybe I'll give this series a chance" casual fan has been driven away to the MTV Movie Awards, CSI and the other 450 channels that everyone gets now. Good work, fellas.

    10:41 I don't have a single interesting thing to say about the halftime show.

    10:49 The second half is under way. And just for the record, we get it, we get it Larry Brown and Greg Popovich are good friends. Gotcha. Heard you the first 200 times. Thank God they're not kissing each other before games like Isiah and Magic did.

    10:51 Duncan misses an easy bank shot, prompting Michaels to say, "That's his money shot normally off the glass." That was nice.

    10:53 Reason No. 473 why I could never be a basketball announcer: Every time Bruce Bowen launches a jumpshot, I would scream out "Pull!"

    10:56 Man, this is ugly. We just had another charge, this time on Ben Wallace. I didn't want to do this, but it's time for a Jay Leno joke. Ready? Even Paris Hilton's credit card didn't have this many charges! Thank you, thank you! Stick around, we have John Travolta coming up right after this!

    10:58 44-43, Spurs. This game is so offensively challenged, we just had the inevitable jumper that got stuck between the rim and the backboard (courtesy of Rasheed Wallace). You knew that was coming.

    (I always thought that would have been a great ending to a bad basketball movie guy goes for the game-winning shot, it gets stuck between the rim and the backboard, leading to the jumpball at midcourt with two seconds left, and then his teammate wins the tap and tips it to our hero ... who drains a midcourt heave at the buzzer. It would be the hoops equivalent of the double knockdown at the end of "Rocky 2.")

    You may not reconize this man, but yes, it's Rip Hamilton.
    11:02 Does anyone else watch these "War of the Worlds" promos and think to themselves, "Man, I wish Tom Cruise didn't go completely insane, I think I would have really enjoyed this movie?" 11:03 Where does Rip Hamilton still wearing the Schnozzaroo (that see-through mask to protect his face) rank among the weirdest ongoing subplots in sports that nobody brings up or even questions? Does he ever take it off? Did his broken nose take three years to heal? What if Hubie showed up for tonight's game wearing one would you think that was weird? I'm totally confused by this.

    11:05 Duncan just pulled off a three-point play he's pretty much taking over the game. I'd tell you how many points and rebounds he has, but let's just say that, um, I might have to log on to the internet if I want that type of information tonight.

    11:09 Hey, a stat! Detroit had missed 11 of its last 13 shots before Prince's jumper just now. San Antonio, 49-47. Get the guys from ESPN Classic on the phone.

    11:12 I'm openly checking my e-mails.

    11:16 Tayshaun Prince takes the first hard foul of the game (courtesy of Big Shot Bob), giving Michaels the chance to call him a "southpaw." I enjoyed that for some reason. And while I'm typing that, Ginobili just misses a half-court heave in traffic, causing him to do the thing where he clenches his fist and screams out loud. Unfortunately, those were the two highlights of the game so far. After three, it's San Antonio 55, Detroit 51, ABC 10 (that's the number of ABC executives who just jumped out of a window).

    11:22 I'm already Rob Thomas'ed out. Did you ever think you would long for the days of the Black Eyed Peas belting out "Let's get it started!" every 20 seconds (from the 2004 Finals)? Well, I'm longing for them.

    11:23 Michaels just rattled off the inevitable "beauty is in the beholder" speech, admitting it's a low-scoring game but arguing that any basketball fan should appreciate the defense and the intensity, even finishing with, "It may not be elegant, but you have to appreciate it."

    Really? I have to appreciate dozens of wide-open bricks, missed layups and terrible decisions in traffic? Did great defense make Bowen fire that wide-open airball that nearly pulled a Joe Johnson on Antonio McDyess' face? I don't think so. There are 24 guys in this game, and only two of them (Duncan and Billups) look even remotely competent offensively. So you can't play that card, Al. I'm sorry.

    11:24 Ben Wallace tries to take a charge on Ginobili, gets whistled for a foul, flips out and draws a technical, leading to our first full-scale Hubie Routine of the night: "Now, I'm Ben Wallace I just out-quicked Ginobili, I should not be punished by picking up a foul that time, I guessed where he was going. I wish Ron Artest was here so I could give him a violent two-hand shove to the face."

    (All right, I made up the last sentence, but Hubie said everything else. By the way, the Spurs are suddenly up by seven.)

    11:28 "I want you to develop as a player. I want you to develop as a student. I want you to develop as a human being. And I want this commercial to keep running every hour or so, because I think I'm getting royalties each time "

    11:30 Tafoya reports that Ginobili is so popular in San Antonio, one local family even named its new son "Ginobili." Since that wasn't nearly enough information, I ended up Googling it little Ginobili Ramirez (7 pounds, 9 ounces) was born last Sunday at San Antonio Metropolitan Methodist Hospital. See, aren't you glad I'm here?

    (Speaking of Ginobili, he just made an impossible righty drive that would have gotten the old, "Here's Ginobili ... Yes! And the foul!" call from the sorely-missed Marv Albert. It's 67-55, Spurs.)

    11:37 Hubie just mentioned that Tayshaun Prince can get his shot any time he wants. Agreed. But isn't that the case every game? If Prince was a baseball player, he would be Andruw Jones very good, extremely valuable, but someone who should be two to three times better and ultimately leaves you disappointed for some weird reason.

    (By the way, the Spurs are blowing this game open they're up by 16 and the Pistons have a "Maybe if we stop trying now, we'll have more energy in Game 2" glow about them. So much for the best Finals matchup in 12 years.)

    11:41 Fantastic closeup of Ginobili's budding bald spot. Highlight of the game so far.

    11:46 You know, when they finally turn Poe's "The Cask of Amontillado" into a movie, I just hope Bowen is available to play the part of Montresor. And yes, it's a 74-67 game the Pistons went small and crawled back into this thing. Maybe the Ben Wallace pseudo-benching will wake him up.

    11:50 Wow. Wow. Wow. Ginobili just single-handedly buried this game first, he broke away from a double-team, split through the middle and jammed a lefty dunk home. Then he dribbled down the shot clock and drained a long three with a hand in his face. That was positively Bird-esque. Best of all, he hasn't flopped in this game once. Ebert and Roeper just gave him two thumbs way up.

    Seriously, do you think we can pass up a chance to use this photo?
    11:52 Michaels and Hubie just did the "You may not be able to tell by the score, but this was a heckuva basketball game" routine again. Come on, guys. You sound like the host of "Hit Me Baby One More Time" when he says "We just witnessed five amazing performances!" only the performances were by Loverboy, The Knack, Tommy Tutone, Vanilla Ice and Tiffany. 11:54 Ginobili scored 22 points in the second half (including 15 in the fourth quarter) as Michaels jokes, "This just in 10 more kids were named Ginobili tonight." And Duncan finished with 24/17. Hey, as the old saying goes, "When you have the best two players in the series, you have the best two players in the series."

    11:58 Our final score: Spurs 84, Pistons 69. Even though I'm rooting for the Spurs, here's some free advice for the Pistons for Game 2:

    A. Stop running so many curls for Hamilton this isn't like Miami where Shaq was too lazy to pop out and guard him. San Antonio's bigs jump out on that play. So you need to target the two mismatches posting up Billups (on Parker) and Prince (on Ginobili). Both of those are guaranteed double teams and you might get one of them in foul trouble. I'm telling you.

    B. Knock down Ginobili and Parker. Keep knocking them down. Knock them down a few more times after that. Nobody on the Spurs will stick up for them it's just not that kind of team. Hell, bring in Darko to commit a flagrant nobody will go after him because they'll all be in disbelief that he's in the game. But do something. This Spurs team is like the current Yankee team once you start throwing at them, not only will they not retaliate because they're so classy, they actually get bummed out. For example, the Red Sox have thrown at Derek Jeter roughly 275 times in the past season and a half. You think it's an accident? It's the only way they can get in his head. You need to do the same.

    C. Any scenario that involves the phrase "Here's a wide-open Bowen!" is a situation you want to explore and possibly even provoke.

    D. Tell Ben Wallace that Nazr Mohammed and Tim Duncan were making fun of his mom before Game 1 that might be the only way you can get Big Ben to start playing like he did before you won the title. Seriously, who's coasted more this spring, Ben Wallace or Manny Ramirez? It's a toss-up, right?

    E. Pray for Dick Bavetta.

    Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. His Sports Guy's World site is updated every day Monday through Friday.
    Come to the Dark Side -- There's cookies!

  • #2
    Re: Let's just say Sports Guy didn't love Game 1 as much as UB

    9:41 Our first foul on Detroit gets called at the 4:14 mark, drawing a sarcastic cheer from the crowd. That's one of the more underrated crowd noises in sports the "Thanks for finally blowing the whistle, you [expletive]" noise.

    Atleast someone recognizes the sarcasm by sports fans...I love it when the Pacer fans do it the best.
    Sorry, I didn't know advertising was illegal here. Someone call the cops!


    • #3
      Re: Let's just say Sports Guy didn't love Game 1 as much as UB

      6. Right before they introduced the starting lineups, Robert Horry came out to sing his new hit single, "Switch." I'm telling you, the guy can do it all.


      • #4
        Re: Let's just say Sports Guy didn't love Game 1 as much as UB

        I hate those coach "K" American Express commercials so much. I have to change the channel when those come on