View Full Version : Throwback: Dime Mag's Favorite NBA Bromances

Basketball Fan
07-23-2011, 12:27 PM

Friends Forever: My Favorite NBA Bromances
By Kellan White

The first bromance moment caught on national television was when Zeke and Magic met on court before Game 6 of the 1988 Finals and exchanged a kiss showing their deep friendship. In memory of that relationship, which effectively ended last week, I have compiled a list of bromances from the NBA. For those of you unfamiliar with the term the definition is as follows. Bromance (n.) is a close but non-sexual relationship between two men; see also: Man-Crush; related words: Pause.
-The Lopsided Bromance: When Rashad McCants was drafted by the Timberwolves everyone knew that his attitude would be quickly adjusted by Kevin Garnett, what no one knew was their friendship would go bromantical, at least for Rashad. Garnett was so important to Rashad he wrote a poem about their relationship.

“He came to me with open arms, like a hawk embracing his young,
and he fed me food out his mouth but I was starving for knowledge.
the type of knowledge that can’t be fed by hand or voice, but by heart.
so when he spoke he touched my soul, and my soul would smack me if I didn’t listen the words he spoke weren’t for the ears to hear.
because his words were real, it’s hard to hear the truth when lies are so loud.
I put my earphones on so I can hear nothing and see everything.
lies could never steal my attention when he…he…spoke.

The eyes never lie. and when he spoke he wore no glasses.
he wanted me to see the truth, which was? that everyone wears glasses to protect lies, truth? glasses? lies?
sounds like earth, sounds like humans, sounds like America.
but if that’s so where is he from? not from here, he has no glasses!
there was an aura, a light, a truth, about him.
special? never. different? maybe. human? impossible. so I asked him one question to expect one answer.
when you walk and talk and teach how come everyone can stare at your light, your aura, your truth?
because we are the same.”

Garnett was traded to the Celtics after one year with Rashad, we can only hope the Celtics sign McCants and give us an opportunity to read how Paul pierced his heart……

-I really hope they become Bros: Ron Artest and Kobe Bryant. Why? Because Raja Bell, Ruben Patterson and Shaq would never talk trash about Kobe with Ron Artest aka Tru Warrier aka The New World Order backing him up. Charles Oakley got nothing on Ron Artest.

-I Can’t believe they are Bros: I almost refuse to believe this bromance is true. Mike Lloyd Miller from Mitchell, South Dakota is a bro of King James. I guess to be fair; he is probably more of a bro to Lebron’s boy whom he named his son after. Here is a list of Millers I could see Lebron being bros with: Percy Miller, Reggie Miller, Cheryl Miller…..

-This Bromance keeps me Employed: For all you budding General Managers out there, if you want to keep your superstar happy, without say signing paying for another star, sign their bros! That’s Pat Riley’s philosophy. Why else would the Heat trade for Quentin Richardson and hold on to Dorrell Wright, if not to keep Dwayne Wade happy. The D-Wade, Q-Rich, D-Wright bromance runs so deep that Dorrell named his first born after the other two musketeers (Devin Quentin Dwayne Wright). As long as they remain close with D-Wade, Wright and Richardson will always have a home on the end of a bench somewhere. (Note to Donnie Walsh: Make sure you sign D-Wade BEFORE you offer Dorrell a contract).

-The Greatest Bromance of all time: Chronicled by ESPN, crossing conferences, extravagant shopping trips and 3 hour lunches and conversations at trendy LA restaurants, the Steve Francis/Cuttino Mobley Bromance is not only the greatest bromance in the history of the NBA is might be the greatest Bromance since Batman and Robin. Franchise and Cat were ripped apart by Orlando’s front office in 2005 leaving Stevie Franchise changed forever. Here is what Francis said after Mobley was traded, I’ve inserted some pauses.

“I can’t put it into words,” he said. “Playing with a guy (pause), living with a guy, just knowing that every day when I wake up that’s something I can count on (pause), that I’m going to be in practice or in a game with Cuttino………Him not being here is going to be tough for me (pause). I don’t know what I’m going to wake up for (pause).”

Now Francis is out of the league and Mobley is still getting paid by the Knicks but is suffering from a broken heart. Maybe this should have been when Bromance goes wrong…..