View Full Version : the 25 worst NBA players (no Pacers!)

Slick Pinkham
08-30-2004, 02:25 PM

Haulin' and Callin' Out the NBA's Trash

It's obvious that USA Basketball didn't send its best 12 to the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens, but thank God they didn't send the worst! The 25 names listed below (not all American -- that should put some pride back in our system) may elicit a wide range of emotions ... shock, disgust, outright loathing, etc... To guide you through the pain, we've attached our patented snide commentary to help you verbalize some of your feelings. And now the very worst of what the NBA has to offer:

(Disclaimer: All Bobcats were protected from this list and big, goofy white guys are all spoken for under Eschmeyer)

1. Evan Eschmeyer, C, Dallas -- The standard bearer for today's legion of big white stiffs in the NBA

2. Michael Stewart, C, Boston -- 'Yogi' is only slightly more threatening on the court than the cartoon bear

3. Wang ZhiZhi, C, Miami -- Even the Chinese government has disowned him

4. Dan Dickau, PG, Dallas -- Testament that some teams do all their scouting at the NCAA Tournament

5. Jerome Moiso, PF, Toronto -- Carrying on the proud French NBA tradition started by Frederic Weis and No. 6 on our list...

6. Tariq Abdul-Wahad, SG, Dallas -- We liked him better as Olivier St. Jean

7. Jerome James, C, Seattle -- Fulfilling the wasted on-court comedic promise of Chris Washburn

8. Steven Hunter, C, Phoenix -- A harsh reminder to any GM who mistakingly falls in love with an unknown player at the NBA pre-Draft camps

9. Ryan Humphrey, SF, Memphis -- More myth than baller, Humphrey has never actually been seen playing in a real game

10. Tom Gugliotta, PF, Boston -- Former All-Star scored in double figures once last season ... the preseason, that is

11. Kedrick Brown, SG, Philadelphia -- Interesting how many guys on this list either play for or were drafted by the Celtics

12. Reece Gaines, PG, Houston -- On a team crying out for point guard help, the No. 1 pick Gaines got into only 38 games

13. Marcus Haislip, PF, Milwaukee -- And speaking of first-round bombs, Haislip notched a team-low 8.5 minutes per game

14. DeSagana Diop, C, Cleveland -- We've taken to calling him 'Saggy' and a more fitting nickname in the League we don't know of

15. DeShawn Stevenson, SG, Orlando -- Don't shooting guards have to be able to shoot? 78 starts last season and only 19 3-Pointers made?

16. Kareem Rush, SG, Lakers -- Averaged 0.8 assists and 1.3 rebounds ... you gotta score more than 6.4 points to get away with that

17. Ira Newble, SF, Cleveland -- The patron saint of crap players getting big contracts after big years with crap teams

18. Ron Mercer, SG, New Jersey -- No team would even waste a chance on the former No. 6 pick after he got dumped by San Antonio mid-season

19. Samaki Walker, PF, Washington -- Entering the twilight years of a pitiful career -- with a name like that, how could he have failed?

20. Dajuan Wagner, SG, Cleveland -- Too bad a shooter to play SG, too bad a passer to play PG and too small to play in the NBA -- sounds like a winner!

21. Tyronn Lue, PG, Houston -- Milked his 15 minutes of fame in the 2001 NBA Finals for a big contract

22. Morris Peterson, SF, Toronto -- To think New Orleans took this clown off Toronto's hands and the Raptors matched the contract offer!

23. Dikembe Mutombo, C, Chicago -- Rigor Mortis has set in for Deke, can't wait for him to completely calcify under the basket on some February night

24. Jacque Vaughn, PG, New Jersey -- Can't wait for the night when the Nets trot out a starting backcourt of Vaughn and Mercer in front of 11 comotose fans in the Swamp

25. Juwan Howard, PF, Houston -- The burden of carrying his garish contract sucked the life out of Howard's game long ago

Next Five Bringing Up the Rear:
Michael Olowokandi, C, Minnesota
Jake Tsakalidis, C, Memphis
Eddie Robinson, SF, Chicago
Shandon Anderson, SG, New York
Vladimir Radmanovic, SF, Seattle

Five for the Future:
Kendrick Perkins, PF, Boston
Ndudi Ebi, SF, Minnesota
Travis Outlaw, SF, Portland
Pavel Podkolzine, C, Dallas
Brian Cook, PF, Lakers

Ultimate Frisbee
08-30-2004, 03:12 PM
Kinda harsh on a few... Namely Diop and Rush... I think Diop is a quality backup C and Rush has had to be behind Kobe in LA... Rush did some good stuff in the playoffs too..

08-30-2004, 03:19 PM
Does this settle the 'Who should we have picked... Freddie or Rush?' argument? ;)

Seriously... that was a little harsh for him. And by the standards that the author was using I could see our good buddy Bender on that list.


Dr Huxtable
08-30-2004, 03:25 PM
I'm surprised he ddin't put Kwame Brown on there.

08-30-2004, 03:29 PM
I don't know what system he was operating under.

Juwan Howard? No all-star but a solid starter. Ira Newble? And maybe he's planning on grabbing DaJuan Wagner for his fantasy team - the guy really hasn't had much of a chance yet.

08-30-2004, 04:17 PM
Calvin Booth should have made that group easy.

08-30-2004, 05:32 PM
This is a bad article. The guys comes out with some random bad players (some are decent though), and equips each with a one-liner. I really want to know how some people become sports writers, this is just terrible.

Besides, my man Milt Palacio isn't on the list! :o

08-30-2004, 07:41 PM
Ouch, cut the man some slack, Soup. If you know how to be the world's greatest sports writer, let's hear it. It sounds to me like you said you hated the article and then equiped it with a one liner. That could be how some folks become terrible posters.

08-30-2004, 07:52 PM
I don't get paid to be a poster, though, that's not my job. If my job were to be a sports writer, I would do a lot better job than this.

As far as hating the article, I didn't like how it was written, I'm not bashing it because I'm a Juwan Howard fan or something like that.

I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh, but I enjoy writing, and I enjoy reading good writing. And this article simply makes me want to throw up, brush my teeth, and throw up again. Of course, I get that feeling a lot reading today's journalism.

08-31-2004, 12:38 AM
I gotta ride with "Soup" on this one , that's one hell of a sham for a article , there is alot more worthy people he coulda put on his list .

08-31-2004, 02:29 AM
Interesting how many guys on this list either play for or were drafted by the Celtics.


But yeah, that' s a terrible article. The author clearly wrote it off the top of his head to take up space, and didn't bounce ideas off anybody.. I'd bet the forum could come up with a much better list than that.

I don't think it's fair to dog anybody still early in a rookie contract. There's enough bums in the NBA that we should be able to avoid that.

Jose Slaughter
08-31-2004, 02:42 AM
It's just fluff filler by a Mark Patrick wanna be.

I tried something along this line for my highschool paper. The teacher threw it in the trash & told me it wasn't journalism, then she gave me an F.

Anyone that should be getting paid to write should know better than to write something like that. On top of that it is mean spirited.

08-31-2004, 02:57 AM
Even if he had a clue as to who the worst 25 players were he should have left them alone. Generally the worst players bust their butts just to get on a roster. No reason to add insult to injury.

Hating isn't insight.

Roaming Gnome
08-31-2004, 06:56 AM
This article>>>>:horsedoo:

08-31-2004, 08:52 AM
This article>>>>:horsedoo:

Sorry I been laughing for 5 mins straight , at that smiley...One Great smiley :p