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Stryder
04-01-2008, 11:22 PM
Well, we found out today that we are expecting a child. We had made the decision to have 'try' to have a child about a month ago. The wife is 1 month pregnant. It's kind of scary to think that in less than a year, I will be a father. Any advice from you guys with children? What to expect? What to look forward to? We are going to start repainting what will become the nursery.

It's going to be a long, fun journey.

N8R
04-02-2008, 04:02 AM
Congrats man. I have no kids but I was once one. Don't accidentally leave them in a grocery store or try to sell them on eBay. I didnt appreciate either of my new families.

bellisimo
04-02-2008, 04:20 AM
congrats with the decision and the result....hopefully things will go smoothly for you during the next 9 months...

i haven't reached that stage in my life yet so i cannot provide any wisdom...but i wouldn't go for yellow as the color of the room of the baby just cause you are not sure if its going to be a boy or a girl...

Gyron
04-02-2008, 09:12 AM
Congrats Stryder.

Welcome to a whole new world. You are probably going to look at a lot of things a whole lot differently now.

My son is 18 months old now, and I can't believe the difference in outlook I have on certain things.

I have so much fun with him. Yes there are the days where they are sick, don't sleep, etc, but all the other makes up for it. I promise.

Oh and be prepared for the weight gain that goes along with the pregnancy. And I'm not talkign about your wife's weight. All the guys I know gained 10-20 lbs while their wives were pregnant, me included. They have to eat so often, and you find yourself deciding to eat along with them, but instead of the small meals and snacks they eat, you end up eating a normal meal or bigger snacks....things like that. I think they call it sympathy weight gain. :D

I don't know if your wife works, but if she does, start thinking about Day cares. We went through sticker shock on that one. Here in Charlotte, for an infant, it was $900 a month. And that didn't include food(formula), diapers, wipes, etc.

When he went on solid food, that was awesome, because you essentially get a "raise" as we call it. No more formula to buy and the day care provides food. And then when he graduated to the next room, day care cost dropped by $80/month. Still expensive, but all those little costs add up.

Enjoy the time when they are very small. They grow very fast, and you will be amazed at how quick it goes.

By the way, when they switch from Breast feeding to formula(if your wife decides to go that route) the smells from the diaper change dramatically. When they switch from formula to food, get a gas mask and a chemical suit.

I'll think of more, but that should get you started.:D

Anthem can probably provide more info too, he and his wife are new parents as well.

Major Cold
04-02-2008, 10:31 AM
My son is breast fed and my wife pumps when he is at the sitter. That saved us over $3,000.

Many people will give you different advice. Find what works with you and the mommy. Your wife is going to need more time with you and from you. Be patient with her through the irrational high hormnal days.

indygeezer
04-02-2008, 11:51 AM
Remember two words as a parent....Time out.

Instance #1: Time out for disciplin is a great thing, if applied appropriately and consistantly. (btw...there is nothing wrong with a judicious open handed swat on the butt if called for.
Instance #2: Time out for you and the wife. Recharge yourselves and your marriage. I know that sounds Dr. Phil'ish but it is soooooo true. You get so wrapped up in the kid and what they are doing, right thru high school even, that you forget that you are married and deserve a life too.
Instance #3 Time out before you hit that kid. Get away from them. A swat on the butt may be one thing but abuse is abuse. Do not go there and believe me....it is soooo easy to go to far too quickly. Have an escape plan. By that I mean think ahead to what you can do to get out of a frustrating situation that might endanger your child. The kid has colic...he's crying all night, and you have to get up at 6 to go to a job that ain't what you'd hoped it would be. Before you take it out on him (her) call somebody you can take them to and get away for a bit. If you need somebody, call me, I'll provide my number for anyone.

My oldest is in prison for 14 years for slamming his 3 month old on the floor. He has 1 1/2 years left before he can get out (that would be 7 years served and then 7 years probation). He lost his job, his gf worked nights and slept days, the baby had cholic, and he was strung out on pot. He snapped. Do NOT go there. Somewhere I have a mentally retarded grandchild that no member of my family is allowed to see because their whereabouts could become known to my son...and the court will not allow that...ever.

So remember these words....TIME OUT.


OTHERWISE....congratualtions!!!! I'm happy for you. I love kids.

Twes
04-02-2008, 03:30 PM
Keep your paperwork. In case there's a problem later.

I'd also recommend the extended warranty although normally I don't do that.

:cool:

indygeezer
04-02-2008, 04:17 PM
Oh and if it's a boy, be careful while changing diapers.

Gyron
04-02-2008, 04:45 PM
If its a boy, he'll learn the benfits of a peepee tent while changing diapers.

MagicRat
04-02-2008, 04:59 PM
Congrats!

My biggest suggestion is to stay bigger and stronger than they are. The last I recall you were benching 275. You'll need to get that up to at least 350......

indygeezer
04-02-2008, 09:13 PM
Keep your paperwork. In case there's a problem later.

I'd also recommend the extended warranty although normally I don't do that.

:cool:

I would recommend keeping the original shipping container too. Much cheaper that way.

Los Angeles
04-02-2008, 09:24 PM
Congratulations!

Spending time with your child is better than spending money on them.

Trader Joe
04-02-2008, 09:25 PM
Geezer, I feel so sorry for you. Words cannot express the sadness I felt for you, your son, and your grandchild while reading that story. I'm sorry your family would ever have to endure something like that. :cry:

Trader Joe
04-02-2008, 09:26 PM
Oh and to Stryder, congrats my man.

heywoode
04-02-2008, 11:44 PM
Congrats Mr. & Mrs. Stryder!

My advice is to remember that millions of parents have dealt with it, are dealing with it, and you will deal with it. It is the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have. It better be, because it is one you will have for the rest of your life.

When the kids get old enough to start appreciating what you do for them, and when they start doing little things to show how much they love you, you will feel like you are the coolest man on the planet, which of course, you WILL BE! It is a source of great pride for me when I hang up a new picture they drew that says "Daddy" on it. I just love seeing that written in kids crayon handwriting.

I would echo the sentiment about avoiding yellow for a paint color. I don't know if you're going to find out the gender or not. If you are, wait to paint and decorate. You will have plenty of time and it is better to do it right. If you aren't going to find out, I would go with some light pastels. Once the baby is there and settled, it will be easy to paint over if you want to!

If you have a boy, the easiest way to avoid the shot of pee is to first put the new diaper under the baby. Then undo the soiled one, leaving the top fold covering the fire hose. Keep that top fold in hand while using a wipe to do some cleaning, then keep the wipe covering the fire hose while you lift him by both ankles with the other hand, slide out the soiled diaper. Once that is out, fold the top flap of the new diaper over and remove the wipe at the last second and you're good to go. The best part about that is that if there is a shot of pee when the cold air hits his little nutsack, it gets on the wipe, and doesn't waste a brand new, perfectly good diaper! Cha-Ching!

I feel for Gyron talking about the cost of daycare....We live here in Indiana, and it wasn't nearly that bad (even for an infant) and it gets better as they get older. Our kids are 8 and 6 now, and both are full time in school. They are at our sitter from about 230p to 430p every day, and we pay $100 total for two weeks, two kids. I am thrilled to only pay that for stellar care. We took my daughter there when she was about a year and a half old, and my son has gone nowhere else...She is like family....

I would highly suggest reading as much as you can about what to expect. Your wife will have the What To Expect book for mothers, but there are good books out there for daddies too, and they are an easy read most of the time. It really helped me get my head around some of the stuff that was to come and helped it make sense.

Also, when it is time to have the baby, don't wait too long trying to decide if she wants the epidural....Trust me, she wants it. If she gets too far along, you can't get it and she will hate you forever. I didn't suffer that fate, but a friend of mine did...

There is waay too much stuff to try and cover, but keep coming back and bumping this if you want more info! Us daddies gotta stick together!

Good luck, pamper your wife (she will NEVER forget it, and it will give you tons of latitude later in life), and prepare for the best part of your life to start...

Twes
04-03-2008, 08:19 AM
Remember two words as a parent....Time out.

Instance #1: Time out for disciplin is a great thing, if applied appropriately and consistantly. (btw...there is nothing wrong with a judicious open handed swat on the butt if called for.
Instance #2: Time out for you and the wife. Recharge yourselves and your marriage. I know that sounds Dr. Phil'ish but it is soooooo true. You get so wrapped up in the kid and what they are doing, right thru high school even, that you forget that you are married and deserve a life too.
Instance #3 Time out before you hit that kid. Get away from them. A swat on the butt may be one thing but abuse is abuse. Do not go there and believe me....it is soooo easy to go to far too quickly. Have an escape plan. By that I mean think ahead to what you can do to get out of a frustrating situation that might endanger your child. The kid has colic...he's crying all night, and you have to get up at 6 to go to a job that ain't what you'd hoped it would be. Before you take it out on him (her) call somebody you can take them to and get away for a bit. If you need somebody, call me, I'll provide my number for anyone.

My oldest is in prison for 14 years for slamming his 3 month old on the floor. He has 1 1/2 years left before he can get out (that would be 7 years served and then 7 years probation). He lost his job, his gf worked nights and slept days, the baby had cholic, and he was strung out on pot. He snapped. Do NOT go there. Somewhere I have a mentally retarded grandchild that no member of my family is allowed to see because their whereabouts could become known to my son...and the court will not allow that...ever.

So remember these words....TIME OUT.


OTHERWISE....congratualtions!!!! I'm happy for you. I love kids.

Geezer,

I'll be honest with you. I hadn't noticed you shared this until this morning.

There's a lot of pain in that little story you shared.

That took guts. Hat's off to you sir.

Twes

Unclebuck
04-03-2008, 08:23 AM
By the way, when they switch from Breast feeding to formula(if your wife decides to go that route) the smells from the diaper change dramatically. When they switch from formula to food, get a gas mask and a chemical suit.




Your post was so nice, such good advise, it made my morning, until I read the part I quoted above. LOL. I'm sure it is good advise though LOL

Gyron
04-03-2008, 09:10 AM
Geez, I am so sorry to read about the above story. No one should have to live through something like that, especially the baby.

You give some really good advice, one thing I will add that REALLY helped for us, and our son never had Colic was Dr. Brown's Bottles.

I don't know if its a marketing ploy or not, but let me tell you, our son never had colic, and a friend of mine said his son had colic BAD until they switched to Dr. Brown's bottles, and it went away completely.

They are harder to clean, and a little more expensive, but I thought they were well worth it.

I'll post some more advice as I think of it.

Putnam
04-03-2008, 09:20 AM
Everybody is different, so I'll not presume my experience with 4 girls is likely to apply to you. But here's one thing I do hope you'll find.

Maybe you've always been a bit equivocal about other people's babies and little kids. Maybe you thought they were interesting for a few minutes, but then you wanted them to go away and let you get back to what you were doing.

I hope you'll find, as I always did, that your own kids are in a league of their own -- way more intersting, way more deserving of your time, care and attention than other people's kids. I hope you'll find them easy to love, and worth any effort or sacrifice you have to make for them. I hope you won't even feel like you are making a sacrifice. That was my experience.

N8R
04-04-2008, 05:19 AM
Sorry to hear about that Indy Geezer. Sad thing right there.

My brother who is now 26 i believe knocked up a girl in 2006 and he was by no means ready to have a kid. The girl he was with was just a girl and a condom broke, 9 months later a daughter was born. But he is the happiest person I know now. He has admitted that it changed him for the better and now he is talking about more kids with his now serious girlfriend who is the babies mother.

Now I havent met my niece but she always looks happy in the pictures and the stories I hear. Dont think I am bad for not meeting her yet as they live in BC and I in Ontario so the timing hasnt worked out.

Just a little incite. Enjoy the ride cause it is a lifetime.

Major Cold
04-04-2008, 01:27 PM
Sorry to hear about that Indy Geezer. Sad thing right there.

My brother who is now 26 i believe knocked up a girl in 2006 and he was by no means ready to have a kid. The girl he was with was just a girl and a condom broke, 9 months later a daughter was born. But he is the happiest person I know now. He has admitted that it changed him for the better and now he is talking about more kids with his now serious girlfriend who is the babies mother.

Now I havent met my niece but she always looks happy in the pictures and the stories I hear. Dont think I am bad for not meeting her yet as they live in BC and I in Ontario so the timing hasnt worked out.

Just a little incite. Enjoy the ride cause it is a lifetime.

Priorities are different in Canada. Just kidding.

Stryder
04-05-2008, 08:00 PM
Thanks for all the replies! I love PD.

bellisimo
04-05-2008, 08:02 PM
PS - if its a boy...you should totally name your kid after me...he'll thank you later for all the love-n-affection he's getting from the girls ;)

aero
04-06-2008, 03:29 AM
Well, we found out today that we are expecting a child. We had made the decision to have 'try' to have a child about a month ago. The wife is 1 month pregnant. It's kind of scary to think that in less than a year, I will be a father. Any advice from you guys with children? What to expect? What to look forward to? We are going to start repainting what will become the nursery.

It's going to be a long, fun journey.

all the great nights of sleep you once had will be gone forever :dance:

rexnom
04-07-2008, 05:19 AM
all the great nights of sleep you once had will be gone forever :dance:
So that's why they say fatherhood is like grad school...wait...hold up...ughhhh

Unclebuck
04-08-2008, 02:01 PM
Everybody is different, so I'll not presume my experience with 4 girls is likely to apply to you. But here's one thing I do hope you'll find.

Maybe you've always been a bit equivocal about other people's babies and little kids. Maybe you thought they were interesting for a few minutes, but then you wanted them to go away and let you get back to what you were doing.

I hope you'll find, as I always did, that your own kids are in a league of their own -- way more intersting, way more deserving of your time, care and attention than other people's kids. I hope you'll find them easy to love, and worth any effort or sacrifice you have to make for them. I hope you won't even feel like you are making a sacrifice. That was my experience.

The difference is a little thing called love.

bellisimo
04-09-2008, 12:10 PM
I Can't Imagine Why Anybody Would Want To Stop Crying


By Emmet Henson
2-Month-Old


Life has so many wonderful experiences to offer. Like sleep. Or ingestion and evacuation. But I find life offers few opportunities more rewarding than screaming like a maniac until your voice cracks with the strain, so that the entire universe can share in your distress. That's what life is all about, right? The sheer exhilarating thrill of nonstop crying at the top of your lungs. It's such an important part of why we are here—why would anybody ever want to do anything else?
Don't get me wrong—I like squirming, drooling, and sporadically attempting to focus on colors and shapes as much as the next guy. But of all the various activities one can choose to pursue in life, crying is tops as far as I'm concerned. In my opinion, I find nothing is more fulfilling than a good steady holler. It takes no experience to begin, and within moments, all one's needs are instantly met! It's my favorite part of the day.
Heck, I'm crying right now!
I suppose some people might enjoy wasting their days with sleep or gentle cooing, but not me. No, sir. Not when there's all that fantastically loud crying to do. In fact, I love crying so much, sometimes I wish I could be awake 24 hours a day, just to hear the crying I miss out on hearing when I am asleep. I mean, I assume I cry in my sleep, too. Whoa. There's a strange thought: What if I stop crying for a moment when I'm asleep? That would be tragic.
Yes, there's nothing like a good, healthy, air-raid-siren-style bellow to renew one's red-faced passion for living. What you want, I've found, is to pitch your voice at about the decibel level of your standard jet engine and then hold it as long as possible before taking in air. That's the sweet spot right there. That's the ideal volume for a good cry—the kind of crying that isn't so much melancholy or sorrowful as it is a full-throttle roar of earsplitting shrillness.
It's so easy. Getting started can be as simple as being startled by your own hand.
In my opinion, anyone who isn't screaming his lungs out is just letting life pass him by. You'd think, after seeing how happy crying makes me, people would follow my example. But all around me there are tall, shadowy figures who seem to actively avoid the most pleasurable part of existence. Everywhere I look I see them: standing behind my stroller as they walk around town, or leaning in over me in my crib and making faces. Whole loads of people, not crying. Don't they realize what they're missing?
Look, I'm not a purist. I understand there are times when it might be perfectly acceptable to stop crying. Like when something is placed in your mouth for you to suck on. Or when somebody jiggles you for 40 seconds. Both are perfectly understandable and justifiable reasons to stop crying momentarily. But to be completely silent for more than, say, a minute? That's just crazy.
Take my parents, for example. If it wasn't for my tireless efforts, they'd sleep through the night! Can you believe it? I don't think it's because they're too old—I suppose I don't know how old they are exactly, but I can't imagine it's any more than, say, one. They've still got plenty of life in them. Yet they hardly ever cry, and when they do, it's usually softly, in the middle of the night, and exhausted-sounding. What happened to their lust for life? Don't they realize that every moment they waste sleeping, fiddling with the car seat, or holding picture books in front of my face is precious time they could be screaming their heads off?
How can I get them to embrace life and really make the most of wailing like a mythical banshee for hours on end?
I just don't understand these people—and not only because I have yet to grasp the concept of others as separate selves outside of me. Don't they know that all they'd have to do is take a good deep breath, let her rip, and the air would be filled with glorious noise? They can't be having a good time just sitting there, grinning slightly, and communicating through facial expressions and this bizarre series of coded grunts I have yet to decipher.
What do they spend their time doing? Comprehending spatial relations? I'd die of boredom in a minute. They must've been young once. Surely they can still remember the good times they had, splitting the very air with sonic knives of nigh-unendurable intensity. I would hate to think that someday I might be so jaded and cynical as to turn my back on wriggling and panting for breath, using every ounce of my being to emit a general, undifferentiated distress signal to all within earshot.
Spending entire days without crying? Why, it goes against the very thing that makes us human.
God, I hope I never become like them.

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_cant_imagine_why_anybody?utm_source=onion_rss_da ily