View Full Version : For Any English Buffs or Research paper Fanatics ;)

09-05-2007, 12:03 AM
Ok, here's the deal, I need to make a thesis statements about my 5 possible research paper topics.

The Rules (what to look for, or my mistakes to be pointed out) :

No Personal Bias is allowed

Effective and not too broad, straight to the point

Grammer and Mechanics

Awkward wording

Anything else you think that should be.

These are just the Thesis statements, so they don't have and opening included or anything else.

1. The summer of 1967, more recognizably deemed “The Summer of Love”, has directly impacted morals and standards of modern-day society.

2. The accuracy and relevance of the equipment used in the study of paranormal psychology is debated about fiercely by both skeptics and believers.

3. Scholars have radically different views on the legitimacy of the content found in Alex Haley’s 1976 novel Roots.

4. The blame for the 1919 Black Sox Scandal does not fall at the feet of the players involved, but rather the corrupt management that made the event unavoidable.

5. REVISING 5th Topic, soon to come.
(EDIT Possible Topic/Thesis)
5. Between the years of 1953-1965, the persona of Malcolm-X evolved from young radical to conscious adult.

Any advice would really help. I've never cared about a class before, it is true that when a person is truly challenged that they will try harder to succeed. I never really tried hard, because I never really needed to, and now that I am being challenged with truly the hardest class I have ever taken, I'm actually enjoying school a little.


09-05-2007, 02:37 AM
It may vary depending on how long the paper is, how many sources do they need and is it a general research class or specific field study?

1) Is too broad. It would deal with drug use, feminism, music, media, contraception and historic context needing to be added. Easy to find baised sources as well.

2) A bit clunky/wordy.

3) Only minor quibble is, what are "radically different views" on a question which is yes or no. Also thesis statements in higher course work are expected to show what you are going to argue rather than present various theories. In your case that may be fine.

4) Good, although it needs a "Shoeless" Joe Jackson joke. ;) This one does state what your are going to argue.

5) Good as well. Does persona refer to his public perception of him or the actual person?

On the whole I think they are strong. Just try to be as percise as possible and make sure the words you are using have a reason to be used.

09-05-2007, 06:03 AM
Just as a indication I agree with arcadian,
1. biased statement in itself
2. hardly amazin, open door theory, after all the are for and against to begin with, it does not show what your argument is
3. black and white can be radically different, see 2
4. perfect :) talk to Indygeezer about that one :)
5. good assuming you mean his public perception

Also to my knowledge they can be slightly longer, lifting the tip of your argument, but not sure on what is "standard" there.

09-05-2007, 11:47 AM
Trying to fix #2. Just a slight wording change.

2. The accuracy and relevance of the equipment used in the study of paranormal psychology is fiercely debated by both skeptics and believers.

Although can equipment carry a relevance? I think you'd need to say something like

2. The accuracy of paranormal psychology equipment and the relevance of their readings (maybe "results") is fiercely debated by both skeptics and believers.

09-05-2007, 02:33 PM
For #5, wouldn't the correct form of the word be 'conscience,' instead of 'conscious?'

Conscience has to do with your feelings on morals/ethics/right and wrong. Or you would need to change it to 'consciousness.'

09-05-2007, 02:54 PM
Conscious is correct. It's an adjective meaning aware.

09-05-2007, 07:19 PM
Arcadian, are you a prof? I know that's kind of an awkward question, but you've always seemed sort of bookish/intelligent. Just wondering.

09-05-2007, 08:43 PM
No, just bookish.

I learned about this by having profs tear up my writing.

09-16-2007, 01:31 PM
Thanks for the help everybody. It was kind of a difficult thing because there can't really be any personal/ opinion bias, yet you clearly have to take and present a side, or present both sides factually.

At least that is what we were told, but then if we didn't choose a side and wanted to just present both unbiased, we were marked down, and if we did it was too broad and opinionated. Lose/Lose

I chose the White Sox as my final topic, but finding credible sources for my exact topic is difficult. I don't want it to be like the Top 5 reasons you can't blame.... Show, because I have always thought it was the management's fault for those reasons, but I don't want it to look like I'm just putting that into essay form.

One Source I ordered was "Eight Men Out" and I think a book about the court case, I honestly don't even remember, I just needed 5 credible sources and they are hard to find.

Is anybody really knowledgeable or interested in this subject to where they have possibly reasearched it before, or have any suggestions?

Anyway, thanks for helping me, and I'm sorry it took so long to reply, it helped alot!