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View Full Version : ROT IN HELL LILY ALLEN'S THIRD NIPPLE!!!



DisplacedKnick
07-30-2007, 01:55 PM
Since this seems to be the place to vent ... I'll provide some background first.

I had never heard of Lily Allen before Saturday morning. It was kind of a misty/drizzling AM. Some friends and I had talked about going to the track for practice/qualifying but I crapped out - just didn't feel like it.

So I'm sitting at home on my PC cruising the net and check out a few blogs I haven't looked at in a month or so and every one has something to say about Lily Allen's 3rd nipple.

OK, being the normal perverted male that I am I click on a youtube vid and watch this British girl pull her boob out of her blouse and show what she says is a third nipple - looks like a birthmark to me but I'll take everyone's word for it - and apparently if she'd showed her real nipple it wouldn't have been OK to show on TV but since it was just an extra it was. Go figure.

Anyway, that's that - until Saturday night. A couple of friends drop by my house at about 8 p.m. and after rummaging through my cupboards they discover I have nothing to eat - or nothing that wouldn't require some preparation. So we order a pizza. Well, eating something with any kind of spiciness to it at night - especially around 9 p.m. when I went to sleep at 11:30 - is bound to cause me to have some "interesting" dreams - dreams I'll remember. And I wish I wouldn't because when I remember my dreams I always wonder if I'm bordering on insanity.

In this particular dream, I'm reliving the Lily Allen Youtube vid. She pulls her boob out, it still looks like a birthmark - until it detaches itself and comes after me. Now it actually looks like a mini-nipple and I KNOW it's intent on doing me harm. I'm ducking behind my desk (for some reason I'm in my office), hiding behind file cabinets - but that thing is heading straight for my ear and when it gets there it's gonna destroy me. Anyone who's watched The Wrath of Khan gets the general sense of what's going on.

So I wake up, bad dream, blah, go back to sleep.

Fast forward to Sunday. I'm at a friend's house watching the Brickyard (screw this Allstate crap) while barbecuing - dude has a dream setup but anyway. Eat all kinds of crap, drink too much beer, etc. Sure recipe for trouble. Last night I'm dreaming and here we go again - she whips the boob out, the nipple detaches itself and comes after me again - but this time it's going for my EYE.

Tonight I'm taking my soldering iron to bed with me. She whips that thing out again and I'm gonna do some cauterization.

JayRedd
07-30-2007, 02:08 PM
And I wish I wouldn't because when I remember my dreams I always wonder if I'm bordering on insanity.

I think you can stop wondering.

Spicoli
07-30-2007, 02:12 PM
:onozomg:


Jesus H. Christ man, that sounds absolutely horrifying. :arrgh:

You may need to pull A Nightmare on Elm Street effort, and just try to avoid falling asleep for the rest of your life . . . or at least wait until someone eats that nipple in their dream and its safe to sleep again. Holy crap.

bellisimo
07-30-2007, 02:33 PM
it looks more like a pimple to me...so i could totally see it detachin' from her body...that is rather creepy though...

hey atleast you never had a dream where the girl you were messing around with having a "package"

Spicoli
07-30-2007, 02:38 PM
...hey atleast you never had a dream where the girl you were messing around with having a "package"


For Rim, that wasn't a dream . . . that was a night gone horribly wrong back in 1993.

DisplacedKnick
07-30-2007, 03:09 PM
For Rim, that wasn't a dream . . . that was a night gone horribly wrong back in 1993.

Wrong? :blush:

Spicoli
07-30-2007, 03:16 PM
:shudder:

DisplacedKnick
07-30-2007, 05:14 PM
it looks more like a pimple to me...so i could totally see it detachin' from her body...that is rather creepy though...


I can assure you in all confidence, when it came flying at me it WAS a nipple. All hard, pointed and bumpy. And last night it was even angrier.

If it comes after me tonight it wouldn't surprise me if it's grown a beard.

That's OK - tonight I'm eating oatmeal for supper. I don't get chased by enraged supernumerary nipples after oatmeal.

Bball
08-01-2007, 06:34 PM
I nominate this for weirdest PD thread I've clicked on AND read all the way thru.

There's "B" horror movie in here somewhere...

-Bball

TripleThreat
08-01-2007, 08:19 PM
I nominate this for weirdest PD thread I've clicked on AND read all the way thru.

There's "B" horror movie in here somewhere...

-Bball
KISS Meets the Phantom of the Nipple!!!