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317Kim
07-25-2007, 11:36 AM
Okiedokie. My dad doesn't allow me to talk to boys. Period. Not at school, not on the phone, and only at Pacer games while the games are taking place. He's very strict and is afraid that boys are detrimental to my health and education.

I disagree. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months today. I maintained my good grades during school and I had all A's and one C last semester. I wasn't sick all year and I've played very well in various sports from ping pong to football. It's been really hard to see him though. I haven't seen him in a month. Literally. All I really want to do is see him and spend some time with him, but we just can't tell my dad because there's no knowing how he'll react. (The last time I told him I liked the guy, he went off on me and saying that I'm such a disgrace and that I go to school to learn, not look at boys.)

I'm supposed to be getting my liscence soon. I've been eligible to get one for a month now, but my dad's "not so sure" if I should be driving. I'm hoping I can get one so I can see my bf more often. He's going to Vincennes this fall and I'm only going to be a junior in high school this year.

Don't get me wrong, I do feel bad sometimes for going behind my dad's back, I just think he'll blow this whole thing out of proportion.

Thanks for your time and any input that you give. I really appreciate it!

So this has been P_G's rant for the year.

Help? Suggestions? Opinions?

Robobtowncolt
07-25-2007, 11:48 AM
This question may have some significance or just be totally ignorant, but how long has your dad's family been in the US? A lot of that seems very cultural and unique to a kids I know who's parents are 1st or barely 2nd generation in the US.

It's also just unique to dad's who are jerks and has nothing to do with cultural background. Could be either. Just trying to get a feel as to where you're coming from here.

317Kim
07-25-2007, 11:57 AM
My dad and his family have been living in the US for a bit over 30 years. I think the oldest 7 children of my grandparents are very strict, while the youngest four are more lenient about everything.

Robobtowncolt
07-25-2007, 11:59 AM
Ah. Just curious. Your situation sounded very familiar to a few kids I went to school with who's parents had come over from Korea, Japan, and Taiwan. They had here about 25-30 years too.

Also sounded very smiliar to a few kids I knew who had parents that were just controlling jerks. Not to call your parents anything, as I don't know them, but I know these kids parents were.

Bball
07-25-2007, 12:02 PM
I don't suppose you've asked your father (nicely) when it is you CAN talk to boys?

At some point before you are 30 I would suppose.

It might be time for a serious sit down and have an 'adult' conversation with him to show that you are responsible. Don't let your emotions get in the way and don't press his hot buttons. Even if you get nowhere the first time you try this approach, and simply thank him (sincerely) for listening and walk away rather than escalating it into a fight, it could ultimately help. Ultimately... Maybe you can find some common ground on the subject which will open the door to more trust down the road. Of course, break that trust and the setback could be enormous. And get caught disobeying him now and it could be even worse.

Your compromise might not be much. Maybe it's 15 mins of day phone time. Maybe even supervised. Maybe it's 15 mins per week. Maybe it's meeting at the mall while your dad shops and then you leave with him when he leaves. So you're not totally chaperoned and not totally supervised, but still have some time to yourselves (albeit in public).

It's not like your dad is doing this to you to punish you. And assuming his rule about boys doesn't extend until you are 30 then it might not be 'wrong' right now. But realistically, he will slowly have to let go of the reins over time and having some idea of what he's thinking (or looking for from you) might give you a better bigger picture view and calm the angst somewhat. Especially, if you can take a couple of deep breaths and walk away before let your emotions get the best of you. Letting your emotions lead you is probably one of the things your father is worried about. Showing him you can control your emotions could be the first step.

Barring any success with all that and no hope for talking to boys until you are 30, I'd suggest telling him you are a lesbian. :eek: ;)

-Dear Bball

Fool
07-25-2007, 12:04 PM
What does your mom say?

My "advice" (and I'm a 26 year old father of a soon-to-be 4 yr old, so I'm probably going to pay for this in about 12 yrs) would be to recruit allies to make this thing easier. Dad sounds pretty tough to move. Maybe going around him is the only option.

317Kim
07-25-2007, 12:09 PM
To Robobtown and Fool.

Oh, it's no problem. My mom's Vietnamese and she really approves of the guy. The problem is, my parents are divorced and she moved to Palm Springs, California with her husband and daughter. My dad's also Vietnamese.

Asian thing, huh?

317Kim
07-25-2007, 12:17 PM
I don't suppose you've asked your father (nicely) when it is you CAN talk to boys?

At some point before you are 30 I would suppose.

It might be time for a serious sit down and have an 'adult' conversation with him to show that you are responsible. Don't let your emotions get in the way and don't press his hot buttons. Even if you get nowhere the first time you try this approach, and simply thank him (sincerely) for listening and walk away rather than escalating it into a fight, it could ultimately help. Ultimately... Maybe you can find some common ground on the subject which will open the door to more trust down the road. Of course, break that trust and the setback could be enormous. And get caught disobeying him now and it could be even worse.

Your compromise might not be much. Maybe it's 15 mins of day phone time. Maybe even supervised. Maybe it's 15 mins per week. Maybe it's meeting at the mall while your dad shops and then you leave with him when he leaves. So you're not totally chaperoned and not totally supervised, but still have some time to yourselves (albeit in public).

It's not like your dad is doing this to you to punish you. And assuming his rule about boys doesn't extend until you are 30 then it might not be 'wrong' right now. But realistically, he will slowly have to let go of the reins over time and having some idea of what he's thinking (or looking for from you) might give you a better bigger picture view and calm the angst somewhat. Especially, if you can take a couple of deep breaths and walk away before let your emotions get the best of you. Letting your emotions lead you is probably one of the things your father is worried about. Showing him you can control your emotions could be the first step.

Barring any success with all that and no hope for talking to boys until you are 30, I'd suggest telling him you are a lesbian. :eek: ;)

-Dear Bball

:applaud:

I have asked him once or twice about the phone calls and I've learned not to let my emotions get in the way. I've shown respect, didn't raise my voice, and let him speak without me interrupting, but I think I messed up a bit by crying. Maybe? I'm not sure. The last time I talked to him about this was about 2 months ago. Should I be persistant about this or would he take this as being annoying?

Thank you for all of your suggestions. I'd be delighted to go through any of those things. Supervised or unsupervised. I just want to be with my boyfriend. I'd have supervised phone calls if needed. I'm at the point where I'd do anything.

You're right. I guess I just have to show him that I'm more mature than he thinks and that I am going to be 17 this year. I also have to show him that I really can control my emotions.

Actually, I did pull out the "L" word once. "Gee, dad. Would you rather me be a lesbian?" Oh, man. He gave me the nastiest look.

Robobtowncolt
07-25-2007, 12:17 PM
No idea if it's just an "Asian" thing, but I've noticed it's a little more common with my peer group at least. Of course, many others had parents who let them do whatever the **** they want, even if that resulted in a drug-induced, mutli-county car chase.

317Kim
07-25-2007, 12:22 PM
No idea if it's just an "Asian" thing, but I've noticed it's a little more common with my peer group at least. Of course, many others had parents who let them do whatever the **** they want, even if that resulted in a drug-induced, mutli-county car chase.

Yes, I have a few Cambodian classmates and their parents just let them run wild.

I know if my dad gave me that type of freedom, I wouldn't run wild like that. I wouldn't take advantage of it either. I'd be home on time. I don't drink or smoke and will never do so. No offense to anyone that does, of course.

Before, I get all carried away here, I wanted to thank you for your time this afternoon :)

bellisimo
07-25-2007, 12:56 PM
well if and when I do get married - settle down and have a daughter - she won't be having any boyfriends till she is 18! I know how guys are - none of them are going to mess with my precious! So in a sense I understand where your father is coming from...but overall its also hard to deal with a situation like this from your side cause there doesn't seem to be a set limit as to when you can do what you want. I was raised along the lines of - till you graduate High School - you are not allowed to have a date...and I counted down the days for high school to be over. :) :) :)
Overall at the moment I see myself in a better position than most of my high school friends as they are already stuck in some bad relationships whether its cause of a baby or something else....

As 'pac would say - keep your head up....you'll get your freedom sooner or later :)

317Kim
07-25-2007, 01:02 PM
well if and when I do get married - settle down and have a daughter - she won't be having any boyfriends till she is 18! I know how guys are - none of them are going to mess with my precious! So in a sense I understand where your father is coming from...but overall its also hard to deal with a situation like this from your side cause there doesn't seem to be a set limit as to when you can do what you want. I was raised along the lines of - till you graduate High School - you are not allowed to have a date...and I counted down the days for high school to be over. :) :) :)
Overall at the moment I see myself in a better position than most of my high school friends as they are already stuck in some bad relationships whether its cause of a baby or something else....

As 'pac would say - keep your head up....you'll get your freedom sooner or later :)

A lot of students in my school are already stuck in bad situations. I've seen pregnant freshmen walking around as if they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. I've seen kids get arrested at football games for fighting or wrecking eachothers cars. I just saw two guys get arrested for stabbing someone at a show. I learn from all their mistakes.

I know what I should be doing and shouldn't be doing. I know why I shouldn't be doing what some kids are doing. I'm a good kid. I swear :)

Thanks for your input, Bell.

Gyron
07-25-2007, 01:13 PM
I'm a good kid. I swear :)



If you're not, I think there's a lot of fatherly types here on PD that would be happy to give you a good stern lecture.:D

But it sounds like your dad has that particular form of advice down to an art, so I'm shure he's got it covered.

317Kim
07-25-2007, 01:30 PM
If you're not, I think there's a lot of fatherly types here on PD that would be happy to give you a good stern lecture.:D

But it sounds like your dad has that particular form of advice down to an art, so I'm shure he's got it covered.

If need be, then go for it.

Thanks, Gyron :D

Trader Joe
07-25-2007, 01:32 PM
Seeing as I never had to deal with these types of situations in HS with my parents cause I'm a guy I can't say my advice is the best however I would say from what I learned from friends of mine who are girls going behind your parents back probably isn't the best idea. Have the guy spend time with your dad, have a cook out or something. That way your dad can see he's not a bad guy.

Speaking as someone who does however have a sister going into her junior year, I can say that my dad and I do give any boys she brings over a rather hard time. Its just an instinct.

bellisimo
07-25-2007, 02:19 PM
Seeing as I never had to deal with these types of situations in HS with my parents cause I'm a guy I can't say my advice is the best however I would say from what I learned from friends of mine who are girls going behind your parents back probably isn't the best idea. Have the guy spend time with your dad, have a cook out or something. That way your dad can see he's not a bad guy.

Speaking as someone who does however have a sister going into her junior year, I can say that my dad and I do give any boys she brings over a rather hard time. Its just an instinct.


exactly! If my future daughter brings in a boy to my neck of the woods after I told her not to date boys - the boy is going down! :devil:

bellisimo
07-25-2007, 02:21 PM
A lot of students in my school are already stuck in bad situations. I've seen pregnant freshmen walking around as if they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. I've seen kids get arrested at football games for fighting or wrecking eachothers cars. I just saw two guys get arrested for stabbing someone at a show. I learn from all their mistakes.

I know what I should be doing and shouldn't be doing. I know why I shouldn't be doing what some kids are doing. I'm a good kid. I swear :)

Thanks for your input, Bell.

I have no doubt that your father doesn't think that you are a good girl...its the guys that he has no trust/respect/etc!

and we're all dogs - so I can understand where he is coming from...
as for the nice guys - they're too quiet to have a girlfriend :-p

317Kim
07-25-2007, 02:28 PM
:laugh: I see you what'cha mean.

GrangerRanger
07-25-2007, 02:39 PM
Umm..don't be a rebel and do something you will regret later?

He's just looking out for you. I dunno who your boy friend is and I won't say anything bad about him. But some where down the line all boys want one thing at the end: umm..can I say this on the forums? Intercourse. There that's a good one. Your father probably knows this and is just being protective. Now, as I said, I'm not saying anything bad about your boyfriend, but as a male, I know how it is.

Hope...I helped a little?

SoupIsGood
07-25-2007, 04:36 PM
as for the nice guys - they're too quiet to have a girlfriend :-p

Ey, don't be hatin' on the Nice Quiet Guys! :p

Besides, chicks dig da NQG's.

SoupIsGood
07-25-2007, 04:47 PM
So this has been P_G's rant for the year.

Help? Suggestions? Opinions?

:shrug:

I'm not sure that he can really be convinced of his own unreasonableness. Has he ever shown any sign of considering -your- perspective of this, lately, when you've confronted him? Bball's advice sounding like the best... try to get him to slowly, slowly, edge out of that scary, controlling mindset he's in. It might take, like, years--but it can only help. Just don't lose your temper with him, no matter how retarded, etc. he's being. Maybe by the time you head off to college, he'll be a bit more accepting.

Beyond that... is there a relative that'd support you, who he might listen to? Someone who he trusts/respects, someone capable of making him see things another way?

bellisimo
07-25-2007, 05:16 PM
Ey, don't be hatin' on the Nice Quiet Guys! :p

Besides, chicks dig da NQG's.

they might dig 'em...but still expect the guy to make the first move - which brings up the whole dilemma of no dating/relationships :-p

317Kim
07-25-2007, 07:48 PM
:shrug:

I'm not sure that he can really be convinced of his own unreasonableness. Has he ever shown any sign of considering -your- perspective of this, lately, when you've confronted him? Bball's advice sounding like the best... try to get him to slowly, slowly, edge out of that scary, controlling mindset he's in. It might take, like, years--but it can only help. Just don't lose your temper with him, no matter how retarded, etc. he's being. Maybe by the time you head off to college, he'll be a bit more accepting.

Beyond that... is there a relative that'd support you, who he might listen to? Someone who he trusts/respects, someone capable of making him see things another way?

I have very few relatives that is willing to get in between my dad and I, but I have a few that will listen. I've got an aunt and a couple of older cousins that are willing to stay up with me at night so I can talk to them. My aunt got my dad to say yes to prom, but he later changed his mind.


they might dig 'em...but still expect the guy to make the first move - which brings up the whole dilemma of no dating/relationships :-p

Take it easy on my boy, SiG. He's a good guy ;)

Jose Slaughter
07-25-2007, 08:29 PM
This is gonna sound a little strange but why not invite your dad along.

Go out to dinner, maybe to a movie, then right back home.

Talk the idea over with the boyfriend & see what he thinks, then ask your dad if its something he might be agreeable to.

Your dad might tag along 2 or 3 times before you get permission to go out alone, just the two of you.

At least we know why you havn't made a forum party yet. :D

Eindar
07-26-2007, 12:09 AM
This whole deal is hard for me to comprehend, as I was raised under the "give him enough rope to hang himself with" school of thought. My parents never let me get into enough trouble where I was in any real danger, but they did let me hang out with some kids that were less than savory characters, and I learned a lot about who you can and can't trust. They also tried to expose me to a lot of things so it wasn't so "exciting" when I was a teenager.

I worry a lot about kids who are kept in the dark like that, because your dad has to realize at some point you're going to college, and he won't be there to say no. He can either let you dip your toes in now, or watch you jump in headfirst when you get to college. Obviously that statement will get you nowhere with your dad, but I've seen it happen too many times for it to be a coincidence.

Now, as for a course of action? When someone is being stubborn about something, the most effective way to get them to budge that I've seen is called the "drip-drop" method. This method takes time to see any real tangible benefits, but it does tend to work. Your objective would be to talk about the boyfriend situation only in short bursts, and only when he's in a good mood. The reasoning behind that is that if he's in a bad mood or you badger him too hard or too long, he'll get really muley and dig his feet in on the issue. Keeping it simple and light is often a good way to gain some traction without feeling like you're trying to move a mountain. I'd say arguing will get you nowhere, you're better off with a gentle persuasion.

Of course, you're not too far away from going to college, and he has zero control over where you go and what you do while you're there. At this point, it might not be worth fighting over if it's only going to be a couple years 'till you're an adult and can move away for school.

One other tip, and you're not going to want to hear it, but here it goes: if you're not allowed to date and your boyfriend is heading to Vincennes next year, that relationship has virtually no chance of surviving. If you want that long-distance relationship to have any hope, you've got a lot of work to do, because you have to get your license and a car and also your dad's permission to go visit him at college by the time he leaves. That's the only way I've ever seen that situation work, and even then, it's hard.

Good luck to you. Getting parents to acknowledge your adult status is one of the hardest things to accomplish. I'm 27, and I still have to occasionally remind my dad that I'm not 12 anymore. :)

317Kim
07-26-2007, 10:35 AM
This is gonna sound a little strange but why not invite your dad along.

Go out to dinner, maybe to a movie, then right back home.

Talk the idea over with the boyfriend & see what he thinks, then ask your dad if its something he might be agreeable to.

Your dad might tag along 2 or 3 times before you get permission to go out alone, just the two of you.

At least we know why you havn't made a forum party yet. :D

I wouldn't mind him tagging along for the first couple of times just so he could see that we're both mature and to see what a good guy my boyfriend is.

I doubt that it'll only be 2 or 3 times yet. I think it'll be a month or so, but being that my boyfriend is going off to college this fall, I don't know how much time there is left to do this.

:laugh: Nah, I haven't made a forum party yet because it's usually on the weekends and my dad prefers family time or playing sports on the weekends.

Fool
07-26-2007, 10:43 AM
Bringing your dad to a forum party can only hurt your situation.

317Kim
07-26-2007, 10:45 AM
This whole deal is hard for me to comprehend, as I was raised under the "give him enough rope to hang himself with" school of thought. My parents never let me get into enough trouble where I was in any real danger, but they did let me hang out with some kids that were less than savory characters, and I learned a lot about who you can and can't trust. They also tried to expose me to a lot of things so it wasn't so "exciting" when I was a teenager.

I worry a lot about kids who are kept in the dark like that, because your dad has to realize at some point you're going to college, and he won't be there to say no. He can either let you dip your toes in now, or watch you jump in headfirst when you get to college. Obviously that statement will get you nowhere with your dad, but I've seen it happen too many times for it to be a coincidence.

Now, as for a course of action? When someone is being stubborn about something, the most effective way to get them to budge that I've seen is called the "drip-drop" method. This method takes time to see any real tangible benefits, but it does tend to work. Your objective would be to talk about the boyfriend situation only in short bursts, and only when he's in a good mood. The reasoning behind that is that if he's in a bad mood or you badger him too hard or too long, he'll get really muley and dig his feet in on the issue. Keeping it simple and light is often a good way to gain some traction without feeling like you're trying to move a mountain. I'd say arguing will get you nowhere, you're better off with a gentle persuasion.

Of course, you're not too far away from going to college, and he has zero control over where you go and what you do while you're there. At this point, it might not be worth fighting over if it's only going to be a couple years 'till you're an adult and can move away for school.

One other tip, and you're not going to want to hear it, but here it goes: if you're not allowed to date and your boyfriend is heading to Vincennes next year, that relationship has virtually no chance of surviving. If you want that long-distance relationship to have any hope, you've got a lot of work to do, because you have to get your license and a car and also your dad's permission to go visit him at college by the time he leaves. That's the only way I've ever seen that situation work, and even then, it's hard.

Good luck to you. Getting parents to acknowledge your adult status is one of the hardest things to accomplish. I'm 27, and I still have to occasionally remind my dad that I'm not 12 anymore. :)

Thanks for the tips, especially the one about talking to him when he's in a good mood. He's rarely ever in a good mood, so it might be hard to catch.

I know, it is only 2 more years. All my friends are telling me to hang on, but it's a lot easier said than done. I've been holding on for several years already. Heck, I've never even gotten to go to a slumber party yet. He didn't even finish teaching me how to ride a bike.

As of now, I have a car and I'm ready to get my liscence. I'm missing the biggest thing which would be my dad's permission.

My dad treats me like I'm 6 once or twice atleast everyday. Sometimes, when I play football and I get a minor injury, he'll be going off on me on how I should be careful. My uncle says the he still sees me as if I'm his little girl. :sigh:

Anywho, thanks for everything :)

indyman37
07-27-2007, 10:11 PM
Speaking as someone who does however have a sister going into her junior year, I can say that my dad and I do give any boys she brings over a rather hard time. Its just an instinct.
My sister is going to be a junior too but she doesn't bring ANY boys home. She likes going behind mom and dad's backs because she knows they wouldn't approve of the guys. But me being her brother, even though I am younger, I'm going to be protective of her and probably be hard on any guy she likes or goes out with. For God's sake someones got to look out for her.

But Pacers Girl, go with what everyone is saying. Don't go behind your daddy's back. Things will get real ugly.

carpediem024
07-27-2007, 10:44 PM
Oh my, you aren't even allowed to TALK to boys?

Reminds me of Hulk Hogan. Sometimes I watch the show "Hogan Knows Best"

One show, he lets Brooke stay at a beachhouse and he parked outside the house at night without her knowing. And he had a "Air Conditioner" guy check the house to "see" if there was anything wrong with the AC. But he was paid to see if there was anything suspecious inside.

And the dude told Hulk that there were birth control pills on a counter and Hulk freaked out about it and then he later his wife told him what it was for and he looked dumb.

- -

But I agree 100% with Bball.

Good thing your BF is very understanding.

ABADays
07-28-2007, 12:12 PM
A lot of students in my school are already stuck in bad situations. I've seen pregnant freshmen walking around as if they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. I've seen kids get arrested at football games for fighting or wrecking eachothers cars. I just saw two guys get arrested for stabbing someone at a show. I learn from all their mistakes.

I know what I should be doing and shouldn't be doing. I know why I shouldn't be doing what some kids are doing. I'm a good kid. I swear :)

Thanks for your input, Bell.

Ah yes . . . raising a daughter. How fun was that :hmm:

First of all, my daughter will turn 25 next month and I still don't let her date. I kid! Like that would have worked.

Seriously, you've gotten some good advice on here. I have a tendency to agree with btown there is some cultural influence. The greatest influence to a parent, however, is what you just stated above. Unfortunately, the things that can happen to teenagers - girls in particular seems to grow by the day thus delaying the "dating" process. And ugh (I can't believe I'm going to say this) but you won't understand until you have kids of your own.

I considered myself fairly strict but let my daughter go out in groups at 15, double date at 16 and single date at 17. I do think your Dad is making a big mistake about Prom. That is just something I don't think you take away from a girl.

Lastly, one of the most valuable things a teen has is the trust of their parents. You have no idea what it can mean to lose that so I would never recommend going behind his back. As others have said, just try to reason with him in an unemotional way. Some of the compromises you may have to make may not seem fair, but each one is a building block toward trust.

God I'm old!

Fool
07-29-2007, 12:06 AM
Not to start an argument here, but you have to have something before you can lose it.

carpediem024
07-29-2007, 12:21 AM
Not to start an argument here, but you have to have something before you can lose it.

I agree. Because if your dad did trust you, he wouldn't be strict.

But maybe I shouldn't say that because I don't know what it's like to be a parent.

bellisimo
07-29-2007, 06:05 AM
I agree. Because if your dad did trust you, he wouldn't be strict.

But maybe I shouldn't say that because I don't know what it's like to be a parent.

I disagree. One could trust the child but not the people who he/she might be dating/hanging out with - that might force/use peer pressure to get the child to do things that the parent knows wouldn't really do by themselves.

Fool
07-29-2007, 07:31 AM
In other words, the parent doesn't trust that their kid is morally strong.

But in all honesty I agree that saying "no" doesn't mean a father doesn't trust his daughter, but in this case, from the severity of the things she's not allowed to do, I wouldn't say he's a trusting parent. Its not like she's only being restricted from one person, one group, or one kind of activity.

ABADays
07-29-2007, 01:32 PM
Not to start an argument here, but you have to have something before you can lose it.

Your child has trust by default until they lose it.

To the others, outside influence is a parents greatest fear. There are just too many "unsuspecting" things out there today. As best you can you try to anticipate EVERYTHING. Therefore, initial parental instinct is to say no - then work your way back to compromise. Each step is a learning experience for both the teen and the parent. That's how you both grow.

Ask any parent - one of the worst days of our lives is the day their kid takes the car out for the first time.

Fool
07-29-2007, 05:12 PM
I am a parent thank you and what it sounds like you are describing is how you handle your kid/kids. It doesn't sound like you and he start from the same place.

317Kim
07-29-2007, 10:46 PM
FWIW, I haven't done anything that would cause me to lose my dad's trust. I'm positive about that.

Arcadian
07-30-2007, 12:15 AM
I work with a lot of Asian (mostly Chinese) kids, and I see it happen all the time. It isn't that they don't trust their kids. Its that a lot of Asian families have different priorities in raising their kids. At first I saw so many things that I thought just sucked for the kids. I saw the parenting style as very critical and demading in preformance and loyalty. But as I got to know the parents better they really do love their kids and want what is best for them.
It is very cultural.

PG, I don't have any advice on how to date. However, I would just say that I do really believe your father cares about you. I'm sure he is doing the best he can--it's just different from how White people do it.

317Kim
07-30-2007, 10:45 AM
I know he cares about me, it's just that I think it's a bit unfair. As Fool said a while back, I have more responsibilities than the the average kid, but have less privileges than them as well.

carpediem024
07-30-2007, 09:49 PM
I disagree. One could trust the child but not the people who he/she might be dating/hanging out with - that might force/use peer pressure to get the child to do things that the parent knows wouldn't really do by themselves.

That's true but it sounds like her b/f wouldn't do that.