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Ralph Snart
01-25-2006, 03:58 PM
I was goofing around on one of the Sacramento Kings' Message boards and warned them about what a character Ron is by posting the following made up stories (which, I could actually see Ron doing all of these):

* Interrupted a TV interview with Atlanta-bound Al Harrington by repeatedly wailing "Don't go, Al… please don't leave us" from the showers.

* When told by one journalist that he was from a website, replied: "Website? What's that?"

* Paid $300 for a Snickers Bar at a convenience store in his home town, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kids.

* On his first night in Indianapolis after being traded to the Pacers, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.

* Threatened to throttle Jamaal Tinsley after the latter taped Ron's suit to the roof of his convertible Mercedes and spray-painted a body round it.
* Told an interviewer that he was so superstitious about the number 13 that he couldn't bear to see the numbers four and nine together. Oddly, the combination of five and eight was deemed OK.

* While staying at a Scottsdale hotel, drove across its golf course in his four-wheel drive Jeep.

* After being ejected during the 2002 Milwaukee Game, shook hands with virtually every member of the Milwaukee team.

* On a trip to New York, jumped out of his car to demand "a try" on a workman's pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.

* When asked for a basketball comment while with the Bulls, burped into a TV microphone. He was fined $10,000.

* Spent $900 on a state-of-the art robot then programmed it to march into the Pacers locker room and announce: "Ron Artest is here, hide your women and your beer."

* Walked into the Conseco Fieldhouse cafeteria wearing nothing but his socks and ordered lunch.

* Sniffed a ref's armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a foul on number 91. Other ref-baiting incidents include asking an official for some gum after a committing a foul, and whistling at a female ref while she was bending over to tie her shoes.

* While with the Bulls, took a whizz over sleeping team-mate Ron Mercer.

* Won $1000 from his best friend after betting that he could withstand a cigarette lighter's heat on the bridge of his nose for ten seconds. Ron could do it. Twice.

* After briefly giving up amateur boxing during the offseason, was advised by the Pacers to find a new interest. Picked bingo.

* Crashed the Bull's team bus at the team's training facility, causing $50,000 worth of damage.

* One hour after playing against Miami, met showbiz pals Jamie Foxx and Chris Tucker in a Miami bar while still wearing his full uniform.

* When asked about his nationality before an operation, told the doctor: "Southern Baptist."

* Asked by a camera crew if he had a message for the Bull's upcoming opponents, the Orlando Magic, immediately responded with, "Yes. F*** you Orlando." Then ran off laughing. He was fined $10,000.

* Greeted reporters in Indy by standing up, asking for silence, then farting.

* On meeting a Lithuanian reporter following Sarunas Jaskivicius, claimed he could speak Lithuanian. When invited to demonstrate, he proceeded to imitate the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_104086-->

The Toxic Avenger
01-25-2006, 04:08 PM
GOOD GORD!!!! Thats funny....

Since86
01-25-2006, 04:27 PM
Oh no.....this is going to be deemed true, just like those Harrison stories......