PDA

View Full Version : Funniest off-beat NBA comments ever.... hilarious.



Kstat
01-16-2006, 05:18 AM
http://www.fiyastarter.com/fs-pages/fs-home.htm

I'd like to preface this by saying this guy says a lot of things I don't agree with, but every now and then he comes up with some jems. So I took my favorite comments from this site about each NBA team.....

:celtics: (week 3)- To date, who has been more responsible for the drafting of more young black men who were unprepared for battle? Danny Ainge or Vietnam?

:nets: (week 3)- You know the saying "Injuries are part of the game?" Well, the Nets seem to go out of their way to prove it.

:knicks: (week 8)- Captain's Log: StarDate 6871.3: We have just passed through a severe magnetic storm. Three of our crewman are dead and LARRY BROWN STILL HASN'T SET HIS ****ING STARTING LINEUP!!!! *******!!! KAAAAAAAAHN!!!!

:sixers: (week 8)- Allen Iverson is dedicating this season to Dan Marino. In past years, he's dedicated seasons to Ernie Banks, Barry Sanders, Ted Williams and Michelle Kwan.

:raptors: (week 9)- Chuck V raised some eyebrows with two nice games last week. None of the eyebrows belonged to him, but still…

:bulls: (week 6)- If this were a Shakespearean drama, Ben Gordon would have poisoned the **** outta Chris Duhon by now. But, it's not. So, Ben remains a backup to a second-rounder who just keeps getting better and better and better. That's gotta suck.

:cavaliers (week 5)- Oh, look, they're tanking and it's not even spring. And LeBron's new commercials suck more than Drew Gooden.

:thepiston (week 4)- Has anyone else noticed this team is comprised of nice role players who've joined forces to form Roletron, the most underrated weapon in the galaxy?

:thepacers (week 1)- They've played six games without Ron-Ron going crazy. Only 20 more to go. I can't wait.

:bucks: (week 8)- Toni Kukoc was born in 1968. Ervin Johnson was born in 1967. These men are old. Why are they still playing? Why not just bring back Robert Parrish? I don't like watching people who were alive when Jimi Hendrix was alive. It's eerie.

:hawks: (week 6)- In 5 years, more people will choose Marvin Williams over Chris Paul…to grab something off the top shelf in the ****ing supermarket.

:bobcats: (week 6)- When asked why starting small forward Gerald Wallace was unable to maintain the high level of play he showed during the first two weeks of the season, a confused and angry Bernie Bickerstaff responded, "Because he's Gerald Wallace, dumb*ss. Next question."

:heat: (week 9)- Without the help of Dwayne Wade, Shaq dropped a whopping 8 pounds in a loss to the Suns. That's a good sign for the Heat. Wait a second…that's points?...WHAT THE?!?!?! Let's just move on...

:magic: (week 9)- Jameer, despite looking like a goomba from Super Mario brothers, is slowly but surely making Steve Francis look expendable.

:wizards: (week 9)- Gilbert Arenas continues his chase Bernard King's franchise record of "Who gives a ****?" points in a season.

:mavericks: (week 5)- With the emergence of second-year star Devin Harris, the Mavs now have two good point guards that aren't championship caliber.

:rockets: (week5)- A source close to the Rockets recently informed me that Yao's injury is not as serious as has been indicated. It's believed that Yao is faking the injury to let McGrady learn how it feels to carry that group of scrubs for a month.

:grizzlies: (week 5)- In other news, Shane Battier has added a new wrinkle. No, not to his game…on his head.

:hornets: (week 1)- The only way Chris Paul doesn't win ROY is if he punches David Stern in the nuts. So, I'd say his chances are roughly 70/30.

:spurs: (week 8)- When asked why he refuses to start Manu Ginobli, Coach Popovich admitted, "Well, because he has the best skin on the team and I'm jealous."

:warriors: (week 6)- You ever wonder how many groupies have changed their ways after waking up next to Adonal Foyle?

:clippers: (week 8)- Elton's MVP chances are fading away as sadly as Ray Allen's hairline did. And everyone pretended to not notice that, too.

:lakers: (week 9)- Asked to comment on his two-game suspension, a smirking Kobe stated: "I respect the League's ruling, but I still think it's little unfair. I mean, it's not like a raped someone." Then, he got in his Benz and drove away laughing like a meglomaniac who had James Bond in a deathtrap. I still don't know why people hate him.

:suns: (week 6)- Steve Nash is starting to get the Brett Favre treatment from announcers. They even marvel at his bad passes now.

:timberwol (week 5)- Kevin Garnett has won more fantasy league titles than any player in any sport. You know what that means? Common idiots, from mailmen to dentists, have done a better job of building around KG than Kevin McHale.

:kings: (week 5)- I hear they're working on a deal to trade Peja for a 16th century catapult, which they'll place right outside the three-point line. It's perfect for their offense, as it can do everything Peja can do, but they may give up about four or five more points than they did with Peja on the defensive end. Maybe.

:nuggets: (week 6)- Camby missed a couple of games with an injured pinkie, huh? It has begun. *Fantasy league trade*

:blazers: (week 7)- I think it should be mandatory for every arena to play a clip of the dueling banjos from Deliverance everytime Steve Blake dishes out an assist.

:sonics: (week 7)- If Reggie Evans and Danny Fortson played one-on-one, there'd be about 24 baskets (16 by Danny) and 4032 rebounds (split evenly).

:jazz: (week 3)- Deron Williams should have just ****ed Ike Diogu's girl if he wanted to humiliate the man like that. At least that would have been private pain.

rexnom
01-16-2006, 05:39 AM
thank you...that was some much needed humor, the only thing that's humiliating is that ron didnt even last 26 games...

scar
01-16-2006, 10:12 AM
The Kobe one was pretty sweet.

Stryder
01-16-2006, 10:50 AM
Awesome.

Kstat
01-16-2006, 02:32 PM
The Hawks one is my favorite.

Jermaniac
01-16-2006, 02:40 PM
Gilbert Arenas continues his chase Bernard King's franchise record of "Who gives a ****?" points in a season.

Oh, look, they're tanking and it's not even spring. And LeBron's new commercials suck more than Drew Gooden.

lmao

microwave_oven
01-16-2006, 02:53 PM
What was the deal about steve blake? I haven't seen that movie, so that may be what I'm missing

ChicagoJ
01-16-2006, 03:03 PM
:kings: (week 5)- I hear they're working on a deal to trade Peja for a 16th century catapult, which they'll place right outside the three-point line. It's perfect for their offense, as it can do everything Peja can do, but they may give up about four or five more points than they did with Peja on the defensive end. Maybe.


UncleBuck has his own blog??!!??

4040
01-16-2006, 04:37 PM
(week 5)- Kevin Garnett has won more fantasy league titles than any player in any sport. You know what that means? Common idiots, from mailmen to dentists, have done a better job of building around KG than Kevin McHale.

:laugh:

SoupIsGood
01-16-2006, 05:49 PM
Started off slow, but it really got funny. Nice.

Shade
01-16-2006, 08:29 PM
AJ IS a goomba.

NaptownBound
01-18-2006, 04:26 PM
What's more hilarious is I actually know this guy from another site.