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reggieonly
10-12-2005, 04:21 PM
http://nbasource.blogspot.com/
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: JUST MADE MY DAY.
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6941/480/400/artest1.jpg

Artest Strikes Back!

That's right folks. He's baaaaaaack! Whether you love him or hate him, you better get used to the hourly SportsCenter reports on Ron Artest's return to the NBA these next few weeks. Although I'm definitely not looking forward to ESPN's slanted coverage on the Artest saga, I will admit that I'm going to buy into the hype (hence this #5 ranking). I love the guy...as a basketball player. Not only did the Pacers sorely miss Ron last season (Jesus. If it wasn't for Reggie's heartwarming send-off, I think watching the Pacers would have rivaled watching the Fever), but the NBA felt the lack of its resident maniac. For starters, the guy can ****ing play. Not one of you true basketball lovers out there can deny that Artest is a genuine pleasure to watch on the court. Reckless? Perhaps. Tenacious? Certainly. Passionate? Absolutely. I can probably count on a single hand the amount of players in the NBA who exhibit half of the intensity that Artest does. And in these eyes, that's special. That's the way basketball is supposed to be played.

From another standpoint, Ron Artest the whack-job is back treading waters at your local NBA arena. Uh-oh. Uh-oh? Isn't this what we love about the NBA? That we can become so intimate with the players to the point where we can actually consider them to be real villains? The NBA has an advantage in this respect more so than any of the other major leagues. With less players, more opportunties to exhibit character, and a league that makes its players more accessible than any other, we are actually allowed to establish legitimate intangible relationships with the players. Whether you embrace your favorite player because of the sportmanship he exudes on the court, or you scream obscenities at the television because you despise a hated player's antics, you become closer to the action-- almost a part of it. And so, it's okay to cast Ron Artest as the role of villain, but still have a desire to see him perform. Superman wouldn't be any fun if he didn't have to sweat Lex Luthor. The Red Sox/Yankees rivalry wouldn't approach its enormity if not everyone understood the bitter history of the two archrivals. And I wouldn't secretly hope that Kobe Bryant and the Lakers turn it around quickly for the sake of vigourously taking the side of anyone of their opponents. On that note, allow me to run off on one of my patented tangents.

Players I Just Plain Don't Like:
Mark Blount - A thief. Should go to jail for what he's done to the Celtics.
Andrew Bynum - Ditched UConn for the $. And now he's a ****ing Laker! Ugh.
Sam Cassell - He once said that he was better than Michael Jordan. I'm also a little terrified of aliens after watching "Signs".
Jamal Crawford - He plays like the NBA is his own ****ing rec league. Have a little more respect, pal.
Eddy Curry - Should have already been a 20 and 10 guy, but he just isn't willing to put in the work. Does he realize how tremendously gifted he is?
Troy Hudson - Pass the ball. And get a haircut.
Raef LaFrentz - I used to be a huge fan and then he totally **** the bed after Denver traded him to Dallas. He single-handedly destroyed my fantasy team one season. I'm still not over it.
Tyronn Lue - I'm not even sure why. Maybe it goes back to his nearly shutting down AI in the Finals. Maybe it's just his ugly *** hair.
Rashad McCants - There's just something about him that I can't put my finger on. That'll change if he provides solid support for KG.
Michael Olowokandi - He's actually growing on me because someone ALWAYS takes a shot on him in fantasy, and then I just laugh when he he falls flat on his face.
Wally Szczerbiak - Wally is that kid who rolls up to the court in his Mom's Lexus RX with Black Eyed Peas bumping on his stereo. He rocks an Armani jumpsuit and Air Jordan XIX's, and complains after every foul. Worst part is, he can light you up. I hate that guy.
Tim Thomas - He left Villanova after only a year and never came close to approaching what he should have been. It's embarrasing to admit that he's currently our best alum in the NBA.
Antoine Walker - I'd choose Brent Musburger to be on my pick-up team before 'Toine.

One more brief note on Artest that has to be pointed out. While I encourage people to designate players with certain personality traits and characteristics, we must not forget that these are real people. I'm sure many of you would love nothing more than to see the guy screw his reputation up once again, but I think it's important that we remember Artest is genuinely trying to make up for his mistakes. A lot of you might not believe this, but everything that's come out since the incident on November 19th suggests that he sincerely seeks reparations. Don't believe me? I have proof.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6941/480/400/artest21.jpg
Ron had perfect attendance for his anger management class and was callaed a "model student" by his teacher.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6941/480/400/artestbible.jpg
Ron even decided to enroll in a psychology class at the local university. Here he is reading reading up on Jean Piaget's 'Constructivist Theory of Intellectual Development' while sipping an iced tea on a lazy summer day.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6941/480/400/artestcello.jpg
He also decided to put his rapping career on hold for awhile, instead picking up the cello. Says Ron, "There's just something serene, yet so profound about the cello. It's really helped ease my meloncholy." Grant Hill and all you "piano" players out there...eat your heart out.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6941/480/400/artestsoftball.jpg
Seeking healthy, unadulterated fun, Ron decided to enroll in Little League Baseball. The managers elected him to the County All-Star Team, but Ron declined the offer because he was tied up in prior obligations due to his job at...

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6941/480/400/artestpizzahut.jpg
... Pizza Hut, where Ron will tell you, "The best pizzas under one roof!".

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6941/480/400/artestslam.jpg
Yes, it's been quite an experience for Ron Artest during this unexpectedly long off-season, but he's ready to go back to what he does best!

317Kim
10-12-2005, 04:38 PM
man... I cant see the pics.

Frank Slade
10-12-2005, 04:40 PM
man... I cant see the pics.

click on the link and scroll down

DisplacedKnick
10-12-2005, 04:47 PM
Some of that's pretty funny - I especially liked this one:

IF Rob Babcock goes bungee jumping without a bungee

…Then the Raptors will win the East

317Kim
10-12-2005, 04:48 PM
click on the link and scroll down

:2tup: gotcha..!

317Kim
10-12-2005, 04:51 PM
:lol:

sweabs
10-12-2005, 04:57 PM
Some of that's pretty funny - I especially liked this one:

IF Rob Babcock goes bungee jumping without a bungee

…Then the Raptors will win the East

Yeah, I read that one and got a good laugh out of it.

I think he said something about Chris Bosh having to admit he's part giraffe as well. Good stuff.

"IF Jake Voshkul kills himself...then the Bobcats will win the East".

Pacers#1Fan
10-12-2005, 05:24 PM
:lol2:

Raskolnikov
10-14-2005, 04:54 AM
in the piece 'Over/Under NBA Regular Season Wins' they re talking about our depth being ridiculous.

:hmm:

don t you *******s laugh at our depth!

our depth is not ridiculous. it is a very serious depth. in fact, in all these years of nba teams trying to get a serious depth in their team, the pacers have this year succeeded to bring the most serious depth ever.

and if you can t accept that, i ll give you some depth in your face!

317Kim
10-14-2005, 06:25 AM
dont get mad, get GLAD! :happydanc

burnzone
10-14-2005, 06:52 AM
Some of those are hilarious under 'The Battle for Eastern Supremacy'

These hypothetical things that if they happened, that team would win the east:

Atlanta Hawks
IF Joe Johnson can average 27, 9, and 7

IF Salim Stoudamire grows 4 inches

Boston Celtics
IF Gerald Green re-grows his ring finger

IF Delonte West and Dan Dickau don’t hook up :-o

Chicago Bulls
IF Tyson Chandler emerges into a 17, 13, and 3 blocks center

IF Mike Sweetney can stop eating

Cleveland Cavaliers
IF Drew Gooden stops doing drugs

IF Zydrunas Ilgauskas gets the cement out of his kicks

IF Damon Jones gets braces

Detroit Pistons
IF Darko can play through his bench sores

IF Rasheed can get that white patch out of his ‘fro

Indiana Pacers
IF Ron Artest sells enough CDs

IF Stephen Jackson goes to prison where he belongs :hmm:

Miami Heat
IF Stan Van Gundy performs like he did in Sins of the Wealthy Part 3

IF Jason Williams wakes the f**k up

IF Alonzo’s kidneys stay pumping (sorry)

Milwaukee Bucks
IF TJ Ford doesn’t land on his head

IF Ervin Johnson wears a bag over his head

New Jersey Nets
IF Richard Jefferson can admit he’s white

IF no one looks directly at Ben Handlogten

IF Clifford Robinson can put down the bong

Toronto Raptors
IF Chris Bosh admits he’s part giraffe

IF Eric Williams gets his horse teeth filed down
------------------------------------------------------------------------

And then the pics for the Artest Strikes Back article are funny as hell too, although MagicRat could do a hell of a lot better job Photoshopping some Artest pics, than they did.

The look on Ron's face when flipping that pizza dough is priceless

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6941/480/1600/artestpizzahut.jpg

:laugh:

317Kim
10-14-2005, 07:04 AM
wow! :lol2:


Toronto Raptors
IF Chris Bosh admits he’s part giraffe

IF Eric Williams gets his horse teeth filed down
Atlanta Hawks
IF Joe Johnson can average 27, 9, and 7

IF Salim Stoudamire grows 4 inches

Boston Celtics
IF Gerald Green re-grows his ring finger

IF Delonte West and Dan Dickau don’t hook up

Chicago Bulls
IF Tyson Chandler emerges into a 17, 13, and 3 blocks center

IF Mike Sweetney can stop eating

:lmao:

DisplacedKnick
10-14-2005, 09:12 AM
IF no one looks directly at Ben Handlogten


Poor Ben. I mean yeah, the guy did get whacked with the ugly stick as he was emerging from the birth canal but there've been plenty of ugly players before (Sam Cassell, Ty Hill, Indy's favorite Ferengi) and I don't ever remember any of them getting this much attention.

Is there a rule that you only pick on ugly players if they're scrubs?

Raskolnikov
10-14-2005, 11:07 AM
dont get mad, get GLAD! :happydanc

No, seriously, if we maintain to have such a ridiculous large number of injuries, our depth better be ridiculously large as well