09-17-2005, 03:17 PM
My fear is now that the other dude is gone to the military (or will be soon) she may start messing with me again.
oh no! and she is hot too you say? wirst nightmare come true!

seriously, the only thing i can say is : it seems you like girl "C" the most and as i ve understood she lives pretty far away from you. so, when you tell me that she s joking around or playing with you, that ain t good. if you wanna have a long distance relationship, confidence is a very important thing. When you start something with her, you better be convinced that she s also 100% into it (just ask her, i guess)

strange that i m giving you this advice as me not being the greatest love expert on earth, probably one of the wirst; hope it helps somehow anyway

i wish there was more of that sort of drama in my life (it keeps you busy)



Diamond Dave
09-17-2005, 03:44 PM
Good God, I stopped reading at a certain point. I'm 19, I'm engaged to a girl who I've known since I was 12. I never lived this type of lifestyle. I just sorta passed it by, not on purpose, but it just happened.

But it sounds to me that you just need to pick one. One and one alone, and it should be the one that not only makes you the happiest but equally as important the one that you make the happiest.

If you have this complex web of situations, then you know each person in that web has their own web. Just pick one, and then work thru all the tough times while not second-guessing yourself. Don't keep the others around as opportunities or fallback plans. Just commit.

Oh and like always the truth shall set you free.

09-18-2005, 01:19 AM
You know VA, maybe you shouldn't even think about it, if both sides, meaning you and she (whoever 'she' may be) is supposed to happen it will. I'm not trying to feed you a line of crap about destiny, just that maybe if the both of you are aware how you feel abot eachother it would help.

The worst type of relationship is a one sided one. Just directly ask 'Girl C' how she feels, if she doesn't feel the same way you do, then one awkward moment is easier to go through than many, which might result in either of you not really liking each other, or somebody getting hurt.

Good Luck with what ever you choose to do!

09-18-2005, 12:28 PM
I'm confused. Whatever happened to the girl you went away with during the playoffs last year?

09-18-2005, 01:56 PM
DD, thats cool.

Im in no rush to get married, but I dont see negativly upon anyone who does young.

As for a update:

I was at my parents house for the Notre Dame-Michigan game, and girl "A" came over to my house and broke up with me.
Um, can't say I blame her. Sounds like you were looking for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal) and perhaps she sensed that. Don't mean to be harsh, but good for her for moving on. I see that quite a bit here in LA. Both men and women playing it loose in the event or hope that something better comes along. I don't understand that mentality, nor do I want that kind of drama in my life. And I certainly don't like to see someone get played like thatóleading someone on just enough to keep them around in the event you can't find something better, or until something better comes along. C'mon, vapacersfan, don't tell me you're one of those jerks. :shakehead

09-18-2005, 02:55 PM
Hey, you can think whatever you want of me. I wont lose any sleep over your (or anyone else's) opinion
Um, then why did you come on here seeking opinions if you don't care what anyone has to say? Seems to me you're wasting your time and anyone else's that might take the time to read and respond to your (long) post.

09-18-2005, 03:33 PM
It's called "The Shout Box". It's meant for rants.

If you dont wan to read the "long" rant, then do yourself a favor and dont read it. Then you dont have to respond to it ;)

I never came here seeking opinions. I know there is no right answer, if there was I would pay some expert to tell me what to do. Unfortunately its not that simple..............

I generally am against asking questions like this (no offense to you guys, but I just donít like doing it) but I am curious as to what you guys think of my situation.
Apology accepted.

09-18-2005, 03:43 PM
Well girl A has atleast made this "situation" a little less complicated now, good for her and good for you, I guess. I think you should stay away from Girl B IF you really feel you want to commit to someone and don't want to feel guilty cheating on the guy she's going with.

Is he a friend of yours? IF so, that would be an absolute "NO-NO" for me personally, I like to keep in check with my own values and ethics and this would mean an absolute breach for me, but hey, I don't know your situation and your life, just telling what I would do.

I would go for girl C, you already got "no", so why not try to go for "yes" without taking risks nothing ever happens, so go for her and let her know you are serious about her and while a lot of woman don't like "directness", maybe one of the first things you should talk about or that you should "gently" let loose in a conversation is that you are disgusted by people playing with other people's feelings, you could always use a friend who that has happenned to as an example, she'll understand the hint and try to assure or comfort you if she's serious about trying to get "something going". The best thing is to just let things come together, just ask her out with some friends and if things go "ok" than ask her out, just the two of you and see what happens, but only if you really want to, don't force things... they ALWAYS notice that (;)). Just have fun and try to talk a little more with her about some topics (trust forinstance) and see what she has to say or what she thinks about that. If you don't feel comfortable just take it easy and stay in contact/regular friends with her, maybe that's what she wants.


Mourning :cool:

09-18-2005, 05:23 PM
Thats the tricky part.

He is a friend of mine (sort of, co-worker) but neither of them will admit they are dating.......

They might as well be, though.

Your advice is good on the last one, but she is 2 hours away. That makes it more complicated to "go out with her and friends"

Hey ... I know what you are talking about my current girl doesn't even live in the same country as I do now :sad:, but that's ok with me ... for now ;).

Strange she didn't give you a call, but maybe she had a good reason like a big test coming up, just call her up and ask her when she's coming over again or... if you feel really good about her try to get a day off at work and meet her, just take a little bit of risk and don't let girl B try to interfere by simply not informing her of it until after.

Anyway, if girl C says no, you know where you stand with her. I would stay away from girl B. But, IF you really like her just ask the guy directly "are you dating her? I need to know now", offcourse all confidentiallity that you like her is gone after that ... not only against him and her, but probably the whole workfloor, because if I'm making a good guess there's a lot of young people there and word can go VERY fast than.


Mourning :cool:

09-18-2005, 06:07 PM
BTW, good to see that work out with you and your girl. Personally I swore I would never do a long term relationship, I have just seen to many of them fall apart...but good for you!



09-18-2005, 07:00 PM
In this world, there are really three types of people.

The first one is the guy that has business aspirations. A career dominated life-style, a guy with his eyes truly on the prize. This guy has little time to build a seriously relationship, with his busy schedule and perhaps a stronger passion in building his career. Most likely, he'll fall in love once or twice, but won't have a strong family, but most likely will have a pretty rich financial setting.

The second one is the guy that wants a family. While this guy isn't as common as guy 1, or the soon to be listed guy 3, they do exist, and one is the author of this post. This guy is looking for one girl, and one girl only. This guy will have his heart broken several times in his life, or if he's lucky, he'll find the right girl and have a nice family, but most likely a weaker financial situation.

The third and final guy is the guy we all hate and secretly want to be sometime. This guy dates around and can get any girl he wants pretty much. And it's hard to understand why. He's a selfishly rude jerk. But for some reason, those qualities attract girls that most guys only wish they could have. But this guy dedicates most of his time to being a 'player' and won't ever accumulate a vast ammount of wealthy, just a vast ammount of STD's and child support bills.

Now, va, I think people are mistakenly labeling you as guy 3. But I think it should be apparent that you're guy 1. You have your goals set, and you don't want to have any serious relationships in the way of all that. Women are nice, relationships are nice, but they do hold you back of your goals. I'm engaged right now, and I'm at the same age you are. We're on our way to two seperate life styles. I'm probably gunna have a family and a wife, but not have the great financial life-style. I'm taking college coarses online starting October 9th, but whether I'm able to have a successful career is yet to be determined.

I will say this; don't go for girl c, don't go for girl b. Girl b can only give you perhaps sex, but I don't think you'll get anything relationship wise from her. You're also backstabbing your friend. If he's away in the marines, and he's not seeing her, maybe a tapping here or there won't be to bad.

Girl c is to far away. I'm sorry, but long distant relationships don't work out. I bet you anything she's already had plenty of guys trying to get in her pants. You need to keep your eyes on the prize and don't let her be a distraction.

Now, I'm not saying this from my personal beliefs, because I have a strong relationship that I'm proud of and am very happy with. But judging from your information, I'd say that you are the guy number 1 that has career goals set and is hell bent on making them. Maybe you'll find love, maybe you'll just find short term happiness, but whatever you do, I leave you with this bit of information. In your lifetime, you will never, ever, and I mean ever, find eternal happiness. It doesn't exist.

09-18-2005, 08:19 PM
notice I said "I swore"

means I have, or may in the future change my mind ;)

I still think they are risky, as some people may not feel as guilty.....

but if/when they do work, more power to ya!


You missed it...

09-18-2005, 11:04 PM
lmfao, I mean long distance, ohh man I am so slow......

There ya go.

You no longer have the liberty to make any Canadian jokes.

09-19-2005, 03:40 PM
That was deep.

Good read, thank you...

It was the final thought on Jerry Springer two weeks ago. 'Three guys could be my babies daddy!' It just took a little bit of editing to make it apply to you. :)