View Full Version : I r an atalete...

06-19-2005, 01:45 PM
Yes, a very strange title for a thread. While the Colts enjoy their training camp stay this year I'll try to post the odd and obscure things you will not see on ESPN or the Star. Only PD will get the real dirt on what's happening with the Ponies. Let me say that most of the players are educated, but that doesn't prevent the "I r an atalete" response sometimes. Thus we begin the journey by revisiting past experiences.

#1 Mr. Bertrand Berry "I r an atalete"..........(Actually a very nice man).

Last day of training camp is like a zoo. The majority of the team will have their vehicles already loaded up so when that last morning walk through is finished they're outta there.

So Mr. Bertrand Berry is a big ole teddy bear of a man off the field. While everyone is driving like it's the Indy 500 you see him get out of his truck, look under it, scratch his head, get back in the truck, get back out, look under it, scratch his head, get back in, back out, back in, back out. Finally it's just the stand there with your hand on your chin look.

I walk down to where he is standing and the following takes place. Bertrand " Hey man, do you know where I can get some of that Duck tape"? Me "Well I don't have any duct tape on me but I could probably find some. What's going on"? Bertrand "Something's hanging down on my truck and I'm hoping to tape it back up. You mind taken a look"? Me "Sure Mr. Berry, but I gotta warn you I'm not a mechanic at all". Berry "That's ok, just lookin for a second opionion". Me "Wow, that doesn't look right. Mr. Berry I do believe that's your tie rod hanging down".

Once again Bertrand does the chin scratch and says "So, if we get some of that Duck tape it'll get me back to Indy"? Me "No Mr. Berry, I believe if we duct tape that the only place you'll wind up is in a ditch".

And here comes the classic line "Man I don't know. All they do is pay me to play football".

Well we call a tow truck and in the mean time Bertrand Berry sets on the curb to wait. Like the rest of the players I'm sure he was wanting to get out of Dodge after a grueling camp. Fans start coming up asking for autographs and I'm thinking I wouldn't really be in the mood to mess with anybody if it was me. Bertrand Berry set there, had the biggest grin I've ever seen, and took it all in stride signing autographs and chatting with fans.

I see that Bertrand Berry has turned into a pretty good player though not with the Colts. Good for him even though he probably still believes everything can be solved with Duck Tape. ;)

06-19-2005, 02:24 PM
#2 Mr. Hunter Smith "I r an atalete".....I guess if you count the punter. ;)

Now this odd story really has nothing to do with something Hunter said. Rather it's what he does with his free time.

It took a couple of weeks for me to ask but I got an answer that even stunned me for a moment. Now trust me when I say I'm not a sick person and this under normal circumstances would make you question someones sanity or thought process. Oh, nevermind here's the story.

During camp, during practice everyday at some point Hunter the Punter would ALWAYS go use the porta-potty. Now it wasn't something I intentionaly made a note of at first but after awhile you would pick up on Colts staff pointing as Hunter headed toward the blue plastic box. You would catch people looking at their watches and talking in whispered tones.
I guess there is sport inside of sport. I doubt this was on any Vegas boards but bets were being placed on what time Hunter would go to the porta-potty. People were betting on what time the punter was relieving himself. I know camp can drag for these guys but that is a little much. So if you come out to Colts camp this year keep an eye on the punter. There could be a game going on that only you know about. :-p

06-19-2005, 10:08 PM
:laugh: I like your stories, RWB. Feel free to keep 'em comin'.

06-20-2005, 01:42 AM
I love Colts training camp. Nothing better than watching Marcus Pollard put on a Hawian hat and watch for the afternoon.

Fan: "Hey, Marcus, you got an injury or something?"
Pollard: "Yeah, man, trainer's been saying something like that in the past year, I turned 31."

06-20-2005, 05:10 PM
#3 Mr. Edgerin James " I r a fisherman" or how I caught a big fish.

To relax many of the guys like to fish when there is no evening practice or just special teams only. Marcus Pollard and Adam Meadows were really into it and would catch some decent size fish in the local ponds. The Edge became infatuated watching these guys fish. I don't know but maybe he never had an opportunity when growing up? Anyway, Edge is very well liked and gets along with all the staff and is just a cool guy to talk to. Because of this somebody gives him a cane pole, baits a hook, and gives it to him to test out what fishing on a pond is like. Of course I don't think anyone thought he could actually catch something with this setup. I mean we're talking what grandpa may have given his 5 year old grandson for his first time...........

Some people are charmed I guess. Edgerin comes into the dining hall the next day and talking in a boisterous manner asking "who's cooking my fish, I got dinner for everyone, who's cookin them". I don't know if he was serious or not but he open's a bag he is carrying to reveal about 4 of the smallest fish you could imagine. These fish looked like what you get at the pet store 10 for a dollar. It was a neat moment when you realize how sometimes we can be in awe of the guys and when it comes down to it they really are pretty common.

06-22-2005, 03:16 PM
#4 Tony Dungy "I NoMora"..........and thank goodness.

It's amazing how different coaching styles have an effect on the players.

Jim Mora being an X Marine had this mean and tuff as nails reputation while Tony Dungy is known to be more laid back. Funny thing is you would think it was the other way around concerning player behavior. Tony = Nice man but no fun. Jim Mora = Hard @ss with a wicked sense of humor.

Ever since Tony Dungy has been head coach the Rookies maybe forced to sing a song or something but that's it. BORING

When "Playoff Jim" was coach you could tell who the rookies were. Now let me say this right off the bat. Jim Mora DID NOT CONDONE hazing in any form. However, let's say good natured ribbing was a little more rampant during his time.

If you were a rookie player or staff member and lucky enough to have use of a cart you better protect it constantly. At some point your cart would be in the middle of the lake. Your cart would be up on concrete blocks missing it's tires or sometimes found sitting in the lobby of a dorm.

If you're a Rookie don't even plan on leaving camp on time. This is because the night before 300lb Ninja warriors will swoop into the parking lots looking for their prey. As long as you're a Rook you are not safe. This includes the bonus babies driving the Navigators to the poor free agent slobs driving the rusted out Buick Centurys. Let's just say 3 inches of vaseline covering all the windows takes a long time to be removed.......I do miss Jim Mora sometimes after such fun memories. But I'll take Tony Dungy and his boringness to keep those wins coming.

06-22-2005, 04:22 PM
RWB where do you get these stories? Do you work with the colts?

06-22-2005, 05:27 PM
Gyron, please forgive the typos.

06-22-2005, 06:15 PM
I meant to say by the way, great stories!

06-22-2005, 06:16 PM
300 lb ninja warriors? :laugh:

06-24-2005, 08:53 AM
#5. "I r an Colts fan" ....Well not really and I see why these guys are fan shy.

Now remember this is not true and only a rumor. ;) ;)

For all those spies out there go away....nothing to see here.

Now for the rest of us.

Well I think as Pacer fans we've learned how you can really get yourself in deep trouble by losing your playbook after Malik (RIP) Sealy lost his in a taxi cab years ago in New York city. Coaches do not look kindly upon such things.

Enter the Colts version with Jason Belser. Jason was facing a $5,000 dollar fine for losing his but he had an excuse. It was stolen from him (GASP). Someone had broken into his room somehow and walked away with it (GASP). Now having 500 cops around you would think that might be difficult. Well it probably is but let's give Jason the benefit of the doubt being he was a starter in the secondary......Well on second thought (remember it's only a rumor) the possibility he was racing a teammate on a cart, made a sharp turn around a corner, and maybe his playbook flew off somewhere couldn't possibly be true now...could it? At the risk of losing $5,000?

Well, as we see everyday miracles happen. A "I r an Colts fan" found the playbook and being the great Colts supporter wanted to return it to the team. However, this great fan was going to keep it unless they got to meet with Peyton Manning in person......

Honestly since this is just a rumor I won't give any more details since it wouldn't be right. Let's just say rumor has it the Colts did get their playbook back, P.Manning was never asked to be involved, two individuals who claimed to be Colts fans never got what they wanted by blackmail, and almost went to the pokey.

The moral to the story is the next time we as fans think maybe these guys have too big of a head by not signing an autograph. Well maybe they do or maybe they don't. Sometimes supposed fans put them in that position.

06-24-2005, 01:44 PM
"I r am going on vacation" So this is the last story for a little while.

#6 Marvin "I r like a shadow" Harrison.

Marvin Harrison shows he is the ultimate professional and that is obvious when you see the unbelievable catches on the field. The one thing he doesn't show is emotion.

I have come to believe Marvin Harrison is a robot. He never walks to practice with other guys. Never hangs out with anyone. Hardly ever makes eye contact. RARELY ever gives an autograph but will toss out cakes to the fans. It must kill him to be in the spotlight because this man is the biggest introvert in all of sports. He is the first person to start loading their vehicle before camp breaks and he is the FIRST person to leave camp after the last practice. Seriously I think he must use a moist towlette to cleaup while leaving the field so he doesn't have to waste time taking a shower.

So, if you have been lucky enough to get a Harrison autograph then you better hold on to it for dear life cause you probably won't get that lucky again. And if you've asked and felt shot down don't take it personal. I swear this guy isn't being rude he just doesn't socialize with anyone. This might explain why he doesn't do a dance in the endzone. The man's brain is programmed not to do anything that will get him noticed.

07-04-2005, 12:04 PM
#7 Peyton "Would you like fries with that" Manning...or how women sometimes really are more fanatical than men.

If Manning ever decides to give up that fake football job he could easily become a manager of a fast food establishment. Now we've heard how Ron Artest wanted to work at Best Buy to get the employee discount, but I'm not sure what Peyton Manning was thinking on this particular day.

Once again things are pretty quiet on special teams practice days and the guys who are starters have a little extra time to relax. I don't know if the smell of freshly popped popcorn is that enticing or PM just needed to have some fun. No matter what the reason it was something you don't see everyday.

Special team practices usually have a lower fan turnout and on this particular afternoon evening there were probably 15 to 20 peope at the most watching in the main stadium. Little did people know, while they were watching future camp cuts, 3rd stringers, and the few important guys who will actually make the team Peyton Manning is directly below them getting a bag of popcorn and signing autographs for the concession workers.

Next thing you know Peyton asks if he could get behind the counter and help. They all started cracking up and said sure. So Manning put's on a Colts cap and steps inside the concession area behind the counter. Now everyone thinks this is going to be hilarious but the crowd is so small no one is coming down to get anything.

Finally a lady and husband with two kids comes up to the counter. Manning steps up and asks "what would you like"? Now the kids are really too young to know who is asking this, but the lady does turn her head to the side kind of like a puppy dog with this weird look on her face. The husband had no clue who they were talking too and must have went to camp just to please the wife.

"OH MY GOD!!!!YOU'RE PEYTON, YOU'RE PEYTON!!!! Yes mame, what would you like? She's so excited she starts doing the pee-pee dance while the husband stands there still like (so what's the big deal). So she finally get's her composure, orders her food, and asks for an autograph. Manning obliges all the way around and since she screamed out a few of the curious walk up to the concession area. Lucky them Peyton Manning signed for them as well. I pity the dedicated fans who were willing to sit there and watch special teams practice with no clue Peyton Manning was literally a few feet down below them signing autographs, posing for pictures, and just having a normal conversation.

A very funny moment indeed. Too bad Manning's popularity has exploded so much I doubt he could ever get by with that again.

07-04-2005, 01:54 PM
:laugh: That's great

07-04-2005, 08:27 PM
Awesome stories. :laugh:

And I have been watching a bit of this "Battle of the Gridiron Stars" show on ESPN. Both Marvin and Peyton are on the show, but what I've seen of Marvin, when he's around guys he's comfortable with, he can be fun. I've even seen him crack a smile and do some good-natured ribbing I think. :yikes: